Channel 4 News Team Marches On!

We basically have two different leagues going on right now… one that has nine teams battling it out trying to break 80 points on a weekly basis, and in an adjacent galaxy is the league that Channel 4 News Team is in.  Tim’s News Boys just posted the 6th highest Weekly High Score ever, in spite of their best player, Jimmy Graham, posting zero points!  Holy crap!!  And to top it off, their margin of victory this week was the largest margin of victory in league history at 96 points!  Only one other team even scored 96 points this week, let alone won their game by that margin.  Like Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell, Timmy and the Channel 4 News Team are in a league of their own.  Channel 4’s domination this week was led by Cam Newton (30 points) and the Chiefs Defense (26 points).  The Chiefs D is the top scoring defense in all of fantasy, and it is not even close! They have amassed 125 points so far, while the second place team (Seattle) has only scored 85.  Way to go, TIM-TIM!!

The highest single week score ever posted in Sacred Sundays history is 148 points and has been achieved twice – James did it in Week 3-2011, and Jens did it in Week 14-2012.  With the way the News Team was rolling through the first half of games on Sunday, I thought that this record was going to be long-gone.  But cracking 150 points still seems to be tough nut.  In any event, this marks Timmy’s fourth Weekly High Score Prize of this young season.  The record for the most high score prizes in a season is 4.5, and Timmy is well on pace to obliterate that mark.  Also, the best ever starting record is 6-0 (Midnight Maulers in 2007, SOFA KING GOOD in 2010, and Moves Like Jagger in 2011), so we’ll see if that one can be bested this coming week.

In league-wide news, the standings are still super close, with four teams at 3-3 and four teams at 2-4.  Now is the point of the season where managing your roster becomes uber-important as injuries and bye weeks keep on coming.  Speaking of that, it appears that Jens and I are the only managers that know about the Weekly Pick ‘Em, as we are the only two who consistently pick the winners each week.  This season, Louis, Russ, James, Shawn and Jamie have not made any picks.  Remember, each week the manager that picks the most games correctly will be moved to the first slot on the waiver wire.  That means that you get first crack at free agents.  (If there is a tie between two teams picking the most correct, the waiver order will just be the inverse of the standings.)  To pick the winners each week, you just have to look at the matchups and click the team that you think will win.

Okay, so this week I’ve got an update on the playoff race, I’ll relay the best analysis that I’ve heard on this whole Redskin debate, and we award the first repeat winner of the Best Bench.  So let’s get to this…


OH YEAH!
-Vernon Davis, TE – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 33 pts – For two weeks in a row the highest scoring player for the week has been on BoomGoesTheDynamite’s roster, sitting on his bench.  Last week was Romo’s 43 points, and now this.  Davis was on fire this week, catching 8 passes for 180 yards and 2 touchdowns, and in the process scored the second most points in a single week by any tight end or wide receiver.

-Cam Newton, QB – Channel 4 News Team – 30 pts – When the big man gets rolling, it’s next to impossible to stop him.  Cam threw 3 TD’s, rushed for one, and racked up 272 total yards in a dominating performance over the Vikings.

-Nick Foles, QB – Free Agent – 29 pts – Vick who?  This could have spelled the end of the Michael Vick era in Philly… however, it did come against Tampa Bay so we shouldn’t get too far ahead of ourselves.

-Knowshon Moreno, RB – Joe’s Pats – 28 pts – Moreno only gained 42 yards on the ground but managed to stick it in the endzone three times!  That is good use of those yards!

-Marshawn Lynch, RB – SOFA KING GOOD – 26 pts – Marshawn is quietly putting together a great season, averaging 15.5 points per game and is currently the third best runningback in fantasy.



OH NO!
-Jason Witten, TE – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 2 pts – Nothing doing for JW in this one, with only 3 catches for 27 yards.

-Calvin Johnson, WR – SOFA KING GOOD – 2 pts – Megatron only caught 3 balls for 25 yards.  Gotta hate these situations…if he’s hurt he shouldn’t play.  Seems like the Lions almost just used him more as a decoy than anything else…

-Antonio Gates, TE – Vandelay Industries – 2 pts – Gates headed into this week averaging 11.8 points per game for the last four games, but was pretty much a non-factor.

-Greg Olsen, TE – Midnight Maulers – 1 pt – In spite of the Panthers routing the Vikings, Olsen only had two grabs for 19 yards.

-Torrey Smith, WR – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 1 pt – Smith was apparently a victim of “the cloud”.  Joe Flacco said after the game that the Packers “cloud coverage” was the reason Torrey Smith managed just one catch for 12 yards.  Watch out for that cloud!!

-Marques Colston, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – With Graham out and Lance Moore inactive, Colston only saw three targets in this game and finished with one catch for 11 yards.  What is going on there...?

-Jimmy Graham, TE – Channel 4 News Team – 0 pts – Graham reportedly injured his foot in this game, but actually came back to play.  It ended up being the first time in 46 games that he did not catch a pass.


WHAT’S IN A NAME?
This was the best analysis that I’ve heard in regards to the controversy now surrounding the Washington
Redskins:  “The Washington Redskins are considering changing the name of their team because being associated with ‘Washington’ is embarrassing.”  Right on.


PLAYOFFS!
After six weeks of battle, there are only four records held by teams: 6-0, 4-2, 3-3 and 2-4.  Here are the historic percentages of those records qualifying for the playoffs:

6-0 – 66.7% (Has happened 3 times, with 2 qualifying)

4-2 – 90% (Has happened 10 times, with 9 qualifying)

3-3 – 50% (Has happened 18 times, with 9 qualifying)

2-4 – 41.7% (Has happened 12 times, with 5 qualifying)

So I’m still sticking with my ponies from last week: Channel 4 News Team, American BadAss, Midnight Maulers, sprouts, Butkus’ Dick and Vandelay Industries to make the playoffs.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?  He’s 0K now.


BEST BENCH
Jens has been playing a guessing game all year with the quarterback and tight end position, and has really guessed wrong the last two weeks.  Last week Tony Romo went crazy with 43 points, while Jens’ active QB Colin Kaepernick only netted 9 points.  This week, Vernon Davis went crazy with 33 points, while Jens’ active TE Jason Witten only got 2 points.  So for the second week in a row, and our first multi-time recipient of the season, the Best Bench goes to… BoomGoesTheDynamite!  With only 3 roster moves, Jens could have improved his point total by 39 points.  V. Davis for J. Witten (+31 pts), C. Kaepernick for T. Romo (+7 pts) and D. Hopkins for T. Smith (+1 pt).


Six weeks down and only two weeks away from mid-term grades...

Week 5 wrapped in latex!

Giddyup!!  Vandelay Industries imported a full can of whoop ass to take the High Score Prize for Week 5!   The San Diego trio (Rivers, Woodhead and Gates) combined for 38 points, but the big boosts for Louis this week came from the 49ers Defense (23 points) and T.Y. Hilton who went off for 26 points.  Vandelay Industries gets extra props this week for having an optimal line-up!  Well done sir!  The victory moves Vandelay Industries into 6th place, which of course would be the final playoff spot if the playoffs were to start this week.  There are currently 5 teams at 2-3, three teams at 3-2, one at 1-4, and at the top of the heap is Channel 4 News Team with the unblemished 5-0 record.  So there are 8 teams within 1 game of each other after five weeks...talk about parity!  That bodes well for everyone’s chances on making it into the playoffs!  But of course, only six teams will make it in, and I’ve got my picks below…

First, some quick observations…


BIG TIME FOOTBALL
-Tony Romo, QB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 43 pts – Fantasy-wise, Romo was the best this weekend (506 yards, 5 TD’s).  Reality-wise, he is one of the worst quarterbacks to ever put on a helmet.  It is comical now how predictable it is for Romo to throw an interception, cough up a fumble, or throw to a receiver two yards short of the first down when on the game’s final drive.  As sure as the sun will rise in the morning, Romo will f**k it up.
-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 39 pts – On the other side of the universe from Tony Romo is Mr. Manning.  He continued his backhanded slap of the rest of the league by putting up 414 yards, 4 TD’s and 1 rushing TD.  He is now averaging, averaging!, 32.8 points per game.  Unbelievable.
-Alshon Jeffery, WR – Free Agent – 30 pts – Out of nowhere this guy scored 20 points last week, and now 30 points this week courtesy of 218 yards receiving and a touchdown.
-T.Y. Hilton, WR – Vandelay Industries – 26 pts – Tyrone’s Youngin’ went for 140 yards and 2 scores on only five catches.  That’s getting it done!

WHAT IN THE WHA???
-Tom Brady, QB – Joe’s Pats – 5 pts – First time in 52 games that Brady has not thrown a touchdown.
-Lamar Miller, RB – sprouts – 1 pt – Only 15 yards on 7 carries for Miller.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French café, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”


PLAYOFFS? DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!  PLAYOFFS?!
We are five weeks into the season and three teams have a record of 3-2, and five teams have a record of 2-3.  Not surprisingly, these two records are the two most common records at this point in the season, having occurred 19 and 16 times, respectively.  A record of 5-0 has occurred 4 times, and 1-4 has happened 6 times.

So it is time to get to my picks for the teams that will make it to the playoffs this season… first is Channel 4 News Team.  A 5-0 record has a qualification percentage of 75%, so Timmy is the odds-on favorite to make it in.  The record of 3-2 has qualification percentage of 68%, so that is roughly 2 out of 3.  Given that there are three teams with that record, I am predicting that two of those will make it in.  The two I’m picking are the Midnight Maulers and sprouts.

For my final three picks, I’m taking American BadAss, Vandelay Industries and Butkus’ Dick.  A 2-3 record has a qualification percentage of 50%, so I’m going against the odds here just a bit taking 3 of 5 teams.  But those three teams have outscored all the others to this point, so that is why I picked them.

To recap, my six teams picked to make it to the playoffs:  Channel 4 News Team, sprouts, Midnight Maulers, American BadAss, Vandelay Industries and Butkus’ Dick.  I'll probably be lucky to get half of those correct...


BEST BENCH
The Best Bench winner this week won it by a landslide… not surprising when you have a player on your bench score 43 points!  So this week’s winner is – BoomGoesTheDynamite!  With only two roster moves, Jens could have improved his point total by 48 points!  T. Romo for C. Kaepernick (+34 pts) and R. Rice for T. Richardson (+14 pts).


Get ready for Week 6!  Can we really be only 2 weeks away from midterms?

Channel 4 wins Week 4... how appropriate!

Two's company, and three is...well, even better!!

Three in a row baby!!  That's what I'm talking about!!!

The Channel 4 News Team is in the zone... no other way to put it.  365 points scored in the last three weeks, and an average margin of victory of 31 points!  That is just supreme domination.  Last year sprouts won three in a row for Weeks 6, 7 and 8, then BoomGoesTheDynamite did it in Weeks 13, 14 and 15.  Timmy has done it by having superb play from quarterbacks, runningbacks and his defense, all of which are Kansas City Chiefs!  (Somewhere Chief Dredd is smiling from ear-to-ear.)  But perhaps the biggest key to the News Team's domination is the play of Jimmy Graham.  Graham is the sixth highest scoring player in all of fantasy, having outscored every runningback, wide receiver and defense to this point.  A tight end!! He is on a blistering pace, averaging 20.8 points per game, for a total of 89 points.  (The highest scoring RB is a tie between LeSean McCoy and Adrian Peterson with 76 points, and the highest scoring WR is Victor Cruz with only 67 points).  Keep on rolling, Tim-Tim!!  Nice work!

This week there were two teams that broke the triple digit mark, yet still lost.  So far this season, teams have scored over 100 points 10 times, and prior to this week none had lost.  Historically speaking (going back to 2007), teams have scored over 100 points 196 times, with 25 of those coming in a losing effort.  So scoring over 100 points results in a victory 87.24% of the time.  Below, I've taken a look into the scoring in our league, to figure out just what it takes to win a game.  Also, I get into some early playoff predictions and award the fourth different manager for best bench in as many weeks.

Let's get to this!!


BIG TIME, BILL!
-Drew Brees, QB - Coors Light Drunk Guys - 35 pts – If it wasn’t for a guy named Peyton Manning, everyone would be talking about how Drew Brees may be the best quarterback in the league.  He went for 413 yards and 4 touchdowns, as the Saints moved the ball as much as they wanted Monday night.  Brees trails only the aforementioned Manning for most points scored this season.
-Philip Rivers, QB - Vandelay Industries - 29 pts - The Cowboys secondary is world-renowned for their ability to get burned deep, and Rivers showed you why.  He torched them for 401 yards and 3 touchdowns.
-Peyton Manning, QB - sprouts - 29 pts – This really sums up just how well Mr. Manning is playing the game of football right now:  16 touchdowns, 0 interceptions.  F, ING, A.
-Tony Gonzalez, TE - Butkus' Dick - 26 pts - After a ho-hum start to the season, Tony exploded for 149 yards and 2 touchdowns!  Nice catch, Tony!
-Adrian Peterson, RB - Butkus' Dick - 26 pts - AP continues have a good year in spite of being on the Minnesota Vikings.  He rattled off 140 yards and two touchdowns.


COME ON, MAN...
-DeSean Jackson, WR - Channel 4 News Team - 3 pts - After blowing up in Weeks 1 and 2 with 16 and 28 points, DeSean has fallen off dramatically with only 6 points last week, and now only 3.
-Chris Johnson, RB - Coors Light Drunk Guys - 3 pts – Can’t feel good as an owner of CJ to have him say this on Twitter: "Public service announcement: I can care less about fantasy football. Key word fantasy. As long as we win I'm happy. I rush for 200 n lose y'all happy.  U r the head coach n the owner of ur fantasy team so u should be mad at urself I didn't ask any of u to draft me so if I'm so sorry y start me."
- Maurice Jones-Drew, RB - sprouts - 2 pts – MJD has not gotten off to a good start at all this season.  He has only found the endzone one time, and has only managed 138 yards through four games.  That just isn't gonna get it done.


FREE AGENT ALL-STARS
Check out the free agent team that I put together this week to just edge out Channel 4 News Team for the Weekly High Score:
QB - Ben Roethlisberger, PIT (18 pts)
RB - Roy Helu, WAS (14 pts)
RB - LeGarrette Blount, NE (12 pts)
WR - Nate Washington, TEN (22 pts)
WR - Danny Woodhead, SD (20 pts)
TE - Coby Fleener, IND (13 pts)
K - David Akers, DET (18 pts)
DEF - Indianapolis (24 pts)
Grand Total - 141 points
Not bad for a ragtag group of unwanteds...


GENERALLY THE TEAM THAT SCORES THE MOST POINTS IS GOING TO WIN THE GAME
I've gone back and analyzed the scores from all games going back to 2009 (including playoffs) in order to get a picture of what scoring looks like in our league.
Here are some highlights:
- The score that has been achieved the most times: 87 (occurred 17 times).
- The second most common scores: 88 & 79 (15 times).

- Average score: 87.4.
- Median score: 86.5
- Highest score: 148 (2 times)
- Lowest score: 21
- Highest score in a loss: 116 (has occurred twice)
- Lowest score in a win: 53 (53 has occurred 3 times, with one of those being a victory).
- Scores that have never been defeated: 57, 96, 106, 110, 112, 114, and anything higher than 117.
- Scores that have never won: 65, 62, 61, 60, 59, 58, 55, 54, and anything lower than 53.
- There have only been 6 tie games.
- No score has had multiple tie games.


PLAYOFFS?!  DON'T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!
I know I promised last week that I was going to make my first round of playoff predictions this week.  But, I'm actually going to hold off for one more week and make my predictions after the conclusion of next week's games.  In years past I've always made it a point to start my predictions in Week 3, change it up each week, and by Week 6 I'll have predicted all teams to make it to the playoffs at least one time.  Well not this year!  Next week I will make a prediction of the 6 teams that I believe will make the playoffs, and I will stick with those six.

For now, I will give a bit of historical perspective on which teams have the best shot at making it into the playoffs, considering where they are at this point of the season.  Of the records currently held by teams in our league, the most likely record to qualify for the playoffs is not 4-0, or 3-1 or even 2-2.  Remarkably, the record of 1-3 has occurred 11 times with 9 of those teams making the playoffs, a qualifications percentage of 81.8%.  (So Vandelay Industries, Joe's Pats and BoomGoesTheDynamite are all sitting pretty right now).  In a very close second is 4-0, which has occurred 5 times, with 4 of those making it in, so Channel 4 News Team has an 80% chance of making it into the playoffs.  The Midnight Maulers are the only team with a 3-1 record, which has happened 12 times, with 8 teams making it in (66.7%).  For everyone else at 2-2, less than half of teams that start with that record actually make it into the playoffs (it has occurred 19 times with only 9 teams making it in...only a 47.4% qualification rate).

The record that is the sure lock after four weeks is, get this, 1-2-1 which has happened 3 times in the past with all 3 of the teams making it in.  The only sure shutout at this point is a record of 0-3-1 which has only happened once with the team not qualifying for the playoffs.  No team is winless this year, but even if there was one, that wouldn't mean they weren't going to have a shot at the playoffs... 0-4 has happened five times, with one of those coming back and making it in.  (That happened way back in 2007, with the team 2Fantastic).

Next week it is full-on playoff predictions!


BEST BENCH
There were not a whole lot of points left on the bench this week, and this week’s winner is actually the lowest Best Bench total of the season so far.  The team that takes the title of Best Bench for Week 4 is… Joe’s Pats!  Joe needed only three roster moves to improve his point total by 27 points.  K. Moreno for D. McFadden (+12 pts), K. Thompkins for J. Jones (+8 pts) and Cowboys DEF for Rams DEF (+7 pts).

Get those waiver claims in, pick the weekly winners, get your line-up set, and get ready for Week 5!  Four teams on byes this week…Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay and Washington.

This just in... Channel 4 News Team is killing it!!

The 2013 season started out hot with 991 total points being scored in Week 1.  Since then, total production has declined by 23% with only 762 total points being tallied in Week 3.  Perhaps this is due to NFL teams having weeks and weeks in the offseason to prepare for their Week 1 opponent, and then only a scant 6 days to prepare for subsequent opponents.  In any event, it is becoming ever more important to have your best line-up in each week, as we now have bye-weeks coming in to play.

The props this week go once again to Timmy’s Channel 4 News Team who took the High Score Prize for the second week in a row!!  Now that is some big time football!  Tim-Tim was not only the only team to crack the 100-point mark this week, but also is the only team that is undefeated.  One recommendation – Put in the Chiefs Defense!  Those dudes are the top defense in fantasy and are averaging 20 points per game.  Not bad for a defense that is still only owned in 37% of Yahoo! leagues.

Speaking of Channel 4’s undefeated record, how about how close all the other teams are?!  There are 3 teams with records of 2-1, and 6 teams with records of 1-2.  Point production is also fairly evenly across the board with all teams having scored more than 220 points, and only one team with more than 300 points.

Below I will make my first pass at playoff predictions for this year, look at AP’s 2,500 yard prediction, and crown the biggest Best Bench Award of the season!  But first, some observations…


YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
-Antonio Brown, WR – sprouts – 34 pts – Brown was pretty much the only spark for the Steelers as he went off for 196 yards and 2 TD’s.  That one-handed grab he had for his second touchdown was pretty sweet.
-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 31 pts – Brees is always going to put up nice passing stats (342 yards, 3 TD’s), but the nice bonus was an additional 21 yards rushing plus a rushing TD!
-DeMarco Murray, RB – American BadAss – 28 pts – Murray gained 175 yards on 26 carries (for an awesome 6.7 yard per carry average), and added a touchdown.  And get this, he didn’t even play the entire 4th quarter of the game!  DeMarco is a must-play against the Rams as he has rushed for a combined 428 yards in his last two games against them.
-Cam Newton, QB – Channel 4 News Team – 28 pts – Newton doubled his point total production for the year with his drubbing of the Giants.  All told, 223 yards passing, 3 TD’s, 45 yards rushing and 1 TD.  All en route to a 38-0 victory.  Nice.
-Chicago, DEF – Midnight Maulers – 26 pts – The Chicago Defense did give up 23 points to Pittsburgh, but offset that with 5 total turnovers (2 int’s, 3 fumble recoveries) and 2 defensive touchdowns!
-Jake Locker, QB – Free Agent – 27 pts – Locker played a great game, throwing for 299 yards and 1 TD, and rushing for 68 yards and a touchdown.
-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 27 pts – Peyton had another dominating performance and now leads all fantasy scorers with 96 points.  (Next closest is Michael Vick with 76).  He has upcoming home games against Philadelphia, Jacksonville, and Washington, so don’t expect him to slow down any time soon.


COME ON, MAN!
-Colin Kaepernick, QB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 4 pts – After an amazing start to the year with a 33-point performance in Week 1, Kaepernick has gone for 5 pts in Week 2, and now 4 pts in Week 3.  Not sure what is going on in San Fran, but it’s not good.
-Phil Dawson, K – SOFA KING GOOD – 1 pt – At home against Indy, all that the Forty-Niners could muster scoring-wise for Dawson was one extra point.  Man that is bad.
-C.J. Spiller, RB – sprouts – 0 pts – Spiller got hurt in the 2nd half of the game against the Jets, but had been ineffective up to that point anyway.  And the report on his injury was that he was only held out for precautionary reasons.  (“Precautionary reasons” usually translates to: “He was sucking, so this gave us an excuse to pull him out”).
-Kellen Winslow, TE – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Kellen Winslow was not targeted in the Jet’s Week 3 win over Buffalo.  Pretty much all you need to know about the day he had.
-Hakeem Nicks, WR – SOFA KING GOOD – 0 pts – Great line by Nicks after the game, when asked why he didn’t have any catches in Week 3, he said: “I can’t throw the ball to myself”.  LOL!  Now that’s just funny!
-Dwayne Bowe, WR – Channel 4 News Team – 0 pts – One catch for 4 yards.  Yuck.  But the Chiefs are winning, so I guess something is working…


FUMBLE RECOVERY TD…SWEET FOR THE DEFENSE!  EH, NOT SO FAST…
In their game against the Packers, the Bengals defense scored a touchdown on a fumble recovery.  However, the original player that recovered the fumble (Reggie Nelson), re-fumbled the ball while being tackled, at which point it was picked up by Terence Newman and run in for the touchdown.  Here is an explanation from Yahoo! about how that play was scored fantasy-wise:
Bengals DEF/ST
Once possession changes following an interception or fumble, the defensive team is considered to be on offense for the purposes of NFL statistical record-keeping.  As a result, when Terence Newman recovered teammate Reggie Nelson's fumble following Nelson's recovery of a Packers fumble, the Bengals no longer were on defense by NFL rule, but on offense.  When Newman returned his teammate's fumble for a touchdown, it was not recorded as a defensive touchdown, but as an offensive fumble return TD.

Gotta love football!

Offensive Fumble Return TD is an individual stat category in Yahoo Sports Fantasy Football. DEF/ST's are not eligible to receive points for this stat category.  If your league uses the Touchdown stat category for DEF/ST, the Bengals will not be credited for Newman's return touchdown.  If your league uses the Fumble Recovery stat category for DEF/ST, the Bengals will only be credited for Nelson's original fumble recovery.


GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT, WHAT ARE MY CHANCES?  LIKE 1 IN 100?  I’D SAY MORE LIKE 1 IN A MILLION…
Last season Adrian Peterson came within 8 yards of tying the single season rushing record that has stood since 1984.  Eric Dickerson still holds the record with 2,105 yards, while AP is now second with 2,097.  This offseason, Peterson made a bold prediction that he was going to rush for 2,500 yards this year.  That prediction seems awfully lofty and now looks unattainable given the fact that he has only cracked 100 yards one time so far in the first three games… right?  Well, not when you look at how he started last season...

In the first three weeks of 2012, Peterson rush for 84 yards, 60 yards and 86 yards, for a total 230 yards.  This season he has started out with 93 yards, 100 yards, and 88 yards, for a total of 281 yards.  So he is actually 51 yards ahead of the pace that he set last year.  That works out to 22% ahead of last year’s pace.  If he continues to beat last year’s production by 22%, he will finish with 2,562 yards, break the single season record by Week 15, and achieve his goal of 2,500 yards.  Plus, that pace gives him a 62 yard buffer to attain his goal.  From this point on, he needs to average 171 yards per game in order to reach 2,500.  Can he do that?  Well check this out...

Last year he had 7 games where he rushed for over 150 yards (6 of those in the second half of the season), in 5 of those he rushed for more than 170 yards (all 5 in the second half of the season), and in 2 of those he rushed for more than 200 yards (210 in Wk 13, 212 in Wk 15).  In Week 17 he rushed for 199 yards, so he nearly had 3 games over 200 yards.  Suffice it to say, if he can turn it on like he did last year, and maybe a week or two earlier, then he could have a shot at his goal.  However, you do have to factor in how crappy the Vikings are this year, and that they will be in catch up mode for most of their games… so odds are not in AP’s favor.  But you’re telling me there’s a chance…


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage.  The photon replies: “No, I’m traveling light”.


EARLY SEASON PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS
Rather than actually predict which teams I believe will make the playoffs (which I will do next week), I figured I would just give the historic percentages of teams making it in with the starting records that we currently see.  There are only 3 different records right now, so here is how teams have done in our league starting off with those records dating back to the 2007 season:
3-0 = 80% qualified for playoffs (10 teams have started 3-0, 8 qualified)
2-1 = 46.2% qualified for playoffs (13 teams have started 2-1, 6 qualified)
1-2 = 62.5% qualified for playoffs (24 teams have started 1-2, 15 qualified)
Unfortunately, no team is 1-1-1 at this point, because that would mean that they would be a lock to make it to the playoffs.  Three teams have started the season with that record, and all three have made it in.


PICK 'EM
This week there were 3 managers that made picks on the weekly match-ups.  This time yours truly picked 3 correct, which was more than the other managers, so Butkus' Dick was moved to the top of the waiver list.
Everyone is eligible to do this... you just have to pick the most winners of the weekly match-ups.  To make your selections, look at the match-ups each week, and check the team that you think will win each one.  If there is a tie between two teams picking the most winners, the waiver order will default to the reverse order of standings.


BEST BENCH
If this had been one of the first two weeks of the season, either of these two teams would have taken the Best Bench Award:  The Midnight Maulers had a 42-point improvement possibility, and BoomGoesTheDynamite had an impressive 47-point improvement possibility.  But neither of those teams even wins the title this week!  That honor goes to… sprouts!  With only three roster moves, Russ could have improved his point total by a very solid 56 points!!  A. Brown for B. Marshall (+29 pts), Cincinnati DEF for Buffalo (+16 pts), and M. Jones-Drew for C.J. Spiller (+11 pts).  Russ is no stranger to big bench improvements as he actually holds the record from Week 2-2009, when he had a nearly unbelievable 89-point improvement possibility.


Get ready for Week 4, and watch out for those byes!!

Week 2 in brief...

Two weeks in and only one undefeated team remains.  The entire North Division is knotted a 1-1.  Six teams have scored between 172 and 192 points.  How is that for parity?!

The big congrats this week go to the Channel 4 News Team, hitting the magic number of 133 points.  Apparently that is the number that you’ve got to get to in order to claim a Weekly High Score Prize.  Timmy did it with monster performances from DeSean Jackson (28 pts) and Jimmy Graham (26 pts), and four players scoring over 15 (Newton, Nelson, Charles and Foster).  No one else was even close to overtaking him this week, with the next closest teams, Joe’s Pats and SOFA KING GOOD, only reaching 99 points.  That is just straight up domination!  Well done, Tim-Tim!!

I don’t have much to cover this week, and I’ve been short on time with family in town, so this week’s wrap-up is a short one.  But next week will be back a full force, with my first round of playoff predictions!  Definitely don’t want to miss that!

But no week could be complete without awarding the Best Bench.  For Week 2, the honor of Best Bench goes to…American BadAss!!  Jason only needed three roster swaps to gain a 29-point improvement.  P. Garcon for L Fitzgerald (+17), F. Jackson for E. Lacy (+10) and V. Jackson for D. Thomas (+2).

Get your waivers in, and get your line-up set for Week 3!!

Week One has Sprouted!

Is it not remarkable that a guy can be with his second team, in the 16th year of his career, only two years removed from neck surgery that kept him out for a full season, and can come out and play the greatest game of his career?!  Peyton Manning completely blasted the defending Super Bowl champions en route to a game that will go down in NFL history… 7 TD’s, 462 yards and 0 interceptions.  If Peyton keeps up this kind of play, Denver Bronco fans will start saying “Elway who?”  Manning’s performance ranks as the 2nd best individual fantasy performance in Sacred Sunday’s history (tied with two others – Adrian Peterson and Michael Vick), and ties Vick for the best performance ever by a quarterback.  Quite a way to start the season!!

And what a way to start the season fantasy-wise!  There was a total of 991 points scored, which is the third highest weekly total ever.  Three teams scored over 120 points, with sprouts leading the way with 133!!  Russ had monster games from the aforementioned Manning (49 pts), A.J. Green (31 pts) and Julian Thomas (23 pts), and also got a solid performance from Brandon Marshall (16 pts).  Props also go to Russ for having his optimal line-up in the game this week!  Well done sir!

But perhaps the most important thing that happened this week was that my team started the season 1-0.  There will be no 0-6 start to my season this year!  Heck yeah!!  Alright, enough dilly-dallying, let’s get to this!!

BOOM SHAKA LAKA!!

-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 49 pts – About the only negative thing that can be said for Peyton in this game was that he netted -2 rushing yards.  But 462 yards passing and 7 touchdowns more than makes up for that.

-Colin Kaepernick, QB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 33 pts – Green Bay was bound and determined not to let Kaepernick run in this game.  And they were successful, as he only gained 22 yards on the ground.  But they must’ve forgot that he could also throw, because he did that to the tune of 412 yards and 3 TD’s.  Yeah, kinda didn’t work out like the Packers had hoped.

-A.J. Green, WR – sprouts – 31 pts – Green was dominant, while averaging 18 yards per catch (162 yards total) and adding 2 touchdowns.  This guy is the real deal.

-Eli Manning, QB – SOFA KING GOOD – 31 pts – For not looking all that great (and crying quite a bit), Eli had quite a good day for fantasy owners.  He had 450 yards and 4 TD’s.  But he also tossed 3 picks.

-Demaryius Thomas, WR – American BadAss – 31 pts – Thomas had 5 catches for 161 yards, which is an amazing 32.2 yards per catch!  Add in 2 touchdowns, and yeah, he had a pretty good day.

- Anquan Boldin, WR – Channel 4 News Team – 29 pts – Did I not tell you that we were all going to wish we had drafted this guy?  Why Baltimore let him get away is anyone’s guess…  Guess they couldn’t use 208 yards and a touchdown.

-Victor Cruz, WR – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 29 pts – Cruz rattled off 118 yards and grabbed 3 touchdowns.  That means that we had to see his stupid dance three times.  Can a defense please just cover this guy?

-Adrian Peterson, RB – Butkus’ Dick – 28 pts – After AP’s first play from scrimmage (77 yard TD run), he was on pace to set the single season rushing record by the 3^rd quarter.  Unfortunately he finished with only 93, but added 2 rushing TD’s and 1 receiving TD. 

-Kansas City, DEF – Channel 4 News Team – The KC Defense was only started in 3% of Yahoo! leagues in Week 1, and those 6 teams benefitted from a dominate performance.  Six sacks, 2 interceptions, 1 touchdown and only 2 points against.  I wonder if this is a testament of how good the Kansas City defense is, or just how bad the Jacksonville offense is?

COME ON MAN…

-Stevan Ridley, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – Ridley got benched for the second half after he had a two fumbles.  Luckily for him (and Shawn), Shane Vereen is out, so Belichick will have to stick with him as his starter.

-Dez Bryant, WR – Butkus’ Dick – 2 pts – Double teams have a way of limiting a player’s production, and that combined with Tony Romo at quarterback spell disaster for any player.

-Roddy White, WR – SOFA KING GOOD – 1 pt – If he’s hurt, he shouldn’t play.  Because if a player like Roddy White is playing, you’ve got to expect more than this paltry performance.

-James Jones, WR – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Jones didn’t catch any balls, and I’m not sure if Rodgers even threw one his way.  That doesn’t bode well for a team that passes as much as the Packers do.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK

Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”

TEBOW HAS A DREAM, WHICH IS TO RELIVE HIS DREAM

As you know, Tim Tebow was cut from the New England Patriots before the start of the season.  Shortly thereafter, he tweeted “…I will remain in relentless pursuit of continuing my lifelong dream of being an NFL quarterback.”  Apparently he’s already forgotten the 2011 season when he was with the Denver Broncos and WAS an NFL quarterback that actually WON a playoff game!  You can’t say that it is your lifelong dream to be an NFL quarterback when you’ve already been an NFL quarterback and accomplished something that the Kansas City Chiefs haven’t done in nearly two decades!  It would be like Buzz Aldrin coming out and saying that he is pursuing his lifelong dream to walk on the moon… uh, Buzz, you kinda already did that.

LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE TIGHT ENDS

BoomGoesTheDynamite had quite the performance from the tight end position, with Jason Witten racking up 19 points, but that wasn’t even his highest scoring tight end.  That honor went to Vernon Davis on Boom’s bench, who tallied 21 points on Sunday.  But get this, that wasn’t even the highest scoring tight end in the match-up between Boom and the Midnight Maulers… that honor went to Jared Cook who rang up 24 points, but was (unfortunately) on the Maulers’ bench.  Overall there were four tight ends in the top 25 scoring players from Week 1, which is more than I can ever remember.  Maybe tight end isn’t just a throw-away position.

LEAGUE PICK ‘EM

There were only three teams that picked winners in the weekly matchups this week, and Joe’s Pats made the most correct (3).  (Timmy was a homer with his picks, as he only picked his game…Tim-There are 5 matchups each week, and you need to pick a winner in all of them.  Lol!)  But by virtue of getting three correct, Joe was moved to first on the waiver list.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK – BONUS!

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

BEST BENCH

With a high scoring week, there is always going to be more than a few points left on the bench.  SOFA KING GOOD and the Channel 4 News Team made a respectable showing this week, with a 28-point and 30-point improvement possibility, respectively, but that wasn’t enough to take the crown this week.  With a big time 34-point improvement, the Week 1 2013 Best Bench Award goes to… the Midnight Maulers!  Jamie only needed 3 roster moves to get it done: J. Cook for G. Olsen (+19), D. Moore for J. Jones (+10) and the Buccaneers for the Bears (+5).

One week down and only fifteen to go!  Make sure you get your lineups set as early as possible each week, as it looks like there is a Thursday night game every week.  That is unless you’re playing against my team, in which case you should wait until Sunday night. J

The Dawn of A New Season

And it begins!  The 9^th season of the Sacred Sundays Fantasy Football League!  For a little trip down memory lane, here are the teams from the 2005 (inaugural) season:

Hindenburgs (now defunct)

Midnight Maulers (still going strong)

Chief Dredd (now Channel 4 News Team)

Goldschlager Chupacabras (now defunct)

EarthWindFire (now BoomGoesTheDynamite)

Coors Light Drunk Guys (still rockin' it)

Big White Scary Monsters (now defunct)

Scottish Rebels (now Butkus’ Dick)

SOFA KING GOOD (back to the original)

BadAss (now American BadAss)

Seven teams from that first season are still going strong, three still under the exact same name!  That is pretty impressive. 

Here were the keepers from the end of that season for those seven teams:

SOFA KING GOOD – Tiki Barber, RB and Eli Manning, QB

Coors Light Drunk Guys – Clinton Portis, RB and Edgerrin James, RB

Chief Dredd – Larry Johnson, RB and Marvin Harrison, WR

Scottish Rebels – Rudi Johnson, RB and Terrell Owens, WR

Midnight Maulers – Ladainian Tomlinson, RB

EarthWindFire – Shaun Alexander, RB and Steven Jackson, RB

BadAss – Steve Smith, WR and Domanick Davis, RB

This shows a couple things:  a) James’ love affair with Eli goes way back.

b) Only three players above are still even in the league – Eli Manning, Steven Jackson and Steve Smith.  How quickly things change…

c) Jamie only had one keeper, because he only needed one man—LT!!  (Jamie basically had Ladainain Tomlinson on his team for all of his productive years.  Kinda like how Frank Gore is for him now.)

d) Clinton Portis!!?! – I mean, this guy was freaking great back in those days!  Absolute Fantasy gold!!

e) And of course, one of my first ever keepers had to be T.O.  Good times!

The draft this year only took about an hour and twenty minutes, but that was still enough time for Shawn to put down four beers (F’N’A!!!), and plenty of trash to be talked.  Here are some of the memorable moments:

Best Background Comment – “That was a mistake.” spoken by one of Louis’ kids after Vandelay Industries selected Antonio Gates in the 9^th round.

Best CYA Moment – After selecting Ben Roethlisberger in Round 11, James was repeatedly asked “Was that a mistake?” and “Did you mean to make that pick?”  To which he replied “I will NEVER admit to that.”

Best Personal Request Made to the Vegas Boys – “Please, just FaceTime us one stripper nipple.”

Best ‘It Was Meant To Be’ Moment – A timeout had to be called to undo SOFA KING GOOD’s selection of Fred Davis, only to have Fred Davis auto-selected for him 3 rounds later.

Best Unknown Player Selection – Joe’s Pats, selecting Zach Sudfeld, (NE – TE), in the 13^th round.  (Honestly, I had 47 tight ends ranked on my research sheets and I had not heard of this guy.  Well done Joe!!)

Best Pick That All Teams Will Wish They Had Made Before He Did – Channel 4 News Team, selecting Anquan Boldin (SF – WR) in the 10^th round.  Seriously, how did everyone let that guy slip to the 84^th pick of the draft?

Here are some stats and notes from the draft:

Players selected (including keepers)

QB’s = 21

RB’s = 42

WR’s = 43

TE’s = 20

DEF’s = 15

K’s = 9

Teams with 5 RB’s = Channel 4 News, sprouts, American BadAss

Team with the most QB’s = Vandelay Industries – 3

Team with the most TE’s = sprouts – 3

Team with the fewest K’s = Channel 4 News – 0

The Round of the Wide Receiver = Round 4… eight WR’s were chosen (including D. Thomas as a keeper).

The Round of the Tight End = Round 6…five TE’s were chosen.

DRAFT GRADES - RANKING

Yahoo! already assigned draft grades to each team, so I figured that I would rank teams from 10 to 1 in terms of how I thought each team did and based on some analysis of all the draft picks.

In establishing draft rankings, I looked at three areas: 1) Keeper Value, 2) Draft picks vs. Yahoo! ADP, and 3) Overall feel of the team.  Keeper value and draft pick value both looked at the cost of each pick versus where those players are being selected on average in other Yahoo! drafts.  For Instance, Demaryius Thomas is being pick on average at #23.3, and as a keeper cost the 32nd pick, so he scores as a +8.7 for American BadAss.

As far as keeper ranking, here are how the teams stacked up:

1) Butkus' Dick - +201.4

2) BoomGoesTheDynamite - +153.4

3) sprouts - +89.4

4) Channel 4 News Team - +12.2

5) SOFA KING GOOD - +7.7

6) American BadAss - +3.5

7) Vandelay Industries - -5.5

8) Joe's Pats - -25

9) Coors Light Drunk Guys - -25.1

10) Midnight Maulers - -107.7

(The thing that hurt the Midnight Maulers was having Greg Jennings as a 2nd round keeper.  Jennings is being drafted on average at pick 91.6, versus the cost of the 15th pick in our draft).

For the remaining draft picks, I assigned a modified variance value to each.  The modified variance takes the overall variance value and subtracts the number of picks between their actual pick and the team's subsequent pick.  (Basically, if a player is chosen as the 25th pick in the draft, but has an ADP of 32, that would look like a reach, because the player was selected 7 spots too early.  But if that team's next pick was not until the 36th pick, then that was actually a good pick because, theoretically, the player would have been selected before they were able to pick again.)  Under this modified variance value system, here are how the teams ranked on the draft picks that were made (these numbers exclude keepers):

1) SOFA KING GOOD - +129.9

2) sprouts - +109.2

3) BoomGoesTheDynamite - +79.7

4) Coors Light Drunk Guys - +67.3

5) American BadAss - +39.1

6) Butkus' Dick - +28

7) Vandelay Industries - +26.2

8) Joe's Pats - -1.7

9) Midnight Maulers - -24.3

10) Channel 4 News Team - -146.2

(Ch. 4 was hurt by drafting the Chiefs D which is way down on the list, and by taking Dexter McCluster, who appears to have only been drafted on two teams, Timmy's and Dexter McClusters' mom's team.)

So, after taking all of that madness into consideration, and probably putting way too much time, effort and analysis into it, here are my preseason rankings for this season:

10) Midnight Maulers - Wide receiver production could be an issue for the Maulers, but if Reggie Bush clicks with Matthew Stafford, that could more than make up for shortcomings.

9) Joe's Pats - It is hard to go against any team with Tom Brady leading the way, but Joe neglected RB's too long and ended up with Darren McFadden, Shane Vereen and Daryl Richardson backing up LeSean McCoy.  Richardson could end up being the real deal, but there is definitely cause for concern here.

8) Vandelay Industries - The league rookie had a good draft, that netted the 49er Defense and Antonio Gates as a back-up TE.  (That's right, as a back-up TE).  But runningback depth will definitely be an issue, as his only bench RB is Montee Ball.

7) Channel 4 News Team - Durability is the question here -- Can Jamaal Charles and Arian Foster be healthy for the whole season?  If that answer is a yes, then this is your championship team right here.

6) American BadAss - By adding Eddie Lacy to go along with Aaron Rodgers to his roster, ABA has all but assured himself that any TD scored by the Packers will net him points. 

5) Coors Light Drunk Guys - Shawn nabbed a lot of good picks in the late rounds (Steve Smith, Lance Moore, The Law Firm), and has the Brees-Colston connection working again this year.  If the Saints regain 2011 form, this will be a very good combo.

4) SOFA KING GOOD - The King probably has four of the best starters you can have in Calvin Johnson, Roddy White, Marshawn Lynch and Steven Jackson.  Those are just steady starters, week-in week-out.  Quarterback could be a weakness here, but James has his trusty ally in Eli Manning.

3) BoomGoesThe Dynamite - Boom is strong at RB, and TE and has one of the biggest home-run threats in the league with Colin Kaepernick.  I have no doubt though, that Jensy will find a way to screw up his title defense.

2) sprouts - For the first 10 rounds of the draft, Russ made great picks -- CJ Spiller, MJD, AJ Green, Gronkowski-- his starting line-up is about as good as you can get.  Depth could be an issue, but for now, this is a scary team to match-up against.

1) Butkus’ Dick – This is surely the kiss of death to rank my own team #1, but I couldn’t honestly justify any other position.  My line-up is chock full of superstars, and my back-up roster would make a solid starting line-up!  Mark my words – This is the year I rise from the ashes!!!

HERE’S A COMMENT SPOKEN BY NO PERSON EVER

“Oh dang it!  They accidentally put an extra slice of bacon on my cheeseburger…”

DRAFT PROGNOSTICATION

As promised, I made a prediction on the first SIX rounds of the draft… yeah, pretty ambitious, I know… but a worthy endeavor none-the-less.  There were 14 keeper picks in the first 6 rounds, so there were a total of 46 picks to be predicted.

Let’s start with the good stuff:  My picks were exactly correct for 11 of the picks!  That is a 23.9% accuracy on predicting the future!  Booyah!  Those picks were:

#1 – Adrian Peterson – Butkus’ Dick

#7 – CJ Spiller – sprouts

#10 – Trent Richardson – BoomGoesTheDynamite

#11 – Ray Rice – BoomGoesTheDynamite

#14 – AJ Green – sprouts

#21 – RG3 – Butkus’ Dick

#30 – Victor Cruz – BoomGoesTheDynamite

#39 – Dwayne Bowe – Channel 4 News Team

#40 – Andre Johnson – Butkus’ Dick

#41 – Seattle – Butkus’ Dick

#59 – Jordy Nelson – Channel 4 News Team

The first 4 picks were pretty much a given, but check out how I nailed 4 of my first 5 picks!  The only reason I wasn’t 5 for 5 was that I missed on my pick of Dez Bryant because I had Vandelay Industries taking him at pick #17.  And how about nailing pick #59 in the sixth round for Channel 4 News Team?!?  The Unimind is as strong as ever!

There were an additional 6 players selected where my prediction was only off by 1 or 2 spots:

Matt Forte – I had pegged at #23 to SOFA KING GOOD, went at #24 to Vandelay Industries.

Brandon Marshall – Predicted at #26 to Midnight Maulers, went at #27 to sprouts.

Roddy White – Predicted to go #36 to Joe’s Pats, went at #38 to SOFA KING GOOD.

Darren McFadden – Predicted to go #46 to Midnight Maulers, went at #45 to Joe’s Pats.

Jason Witten – Predicted #52 to American BadAss, went #51 to Boom.

Greg Olsen – Predicted #56 to Joe’s Pats, went #55 to Midnight Maulers.

So that’s 18 players where my prediction was off by no more than 2 spots… a 37% accuracy!

Also, here are the players that I thought would be drafted, but did not get taken in those first 46 picks:  San Francisco, Chicago, Houston, David Wilson and Giovani Bernard.

My predictions for the season now:  James will complete the most trades, Timmy will have the most waiver moves, and Shawn will win the most Best Bench awards!  Haha!! 

In any event, it’s gonna be a hell of a good time…. so:

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!?!?!?