Week 5 was the highest scoring week of the season, with four teams cracking triple digits, all higher than 113!  And amazingly none of those four teams faced each other, so all got victories.  The 977 points posted this week were the most since that same amount was achieved in Week 6 way back in 2021.

The big congratulations go to Unlucky Irish who posted a massive 134 points, in spite of having a tight end only score 1 point and a receiver only score 3 points.  You can get by with that, as John did, by having Jahmyr Gibbs score 35, Jason Myers, your kicker, score 23(!), Trevor Lawrence score 21 and the Texans defense score 20.  Four players scoring 20 or more is always a good thing.  To top it off he had Mike Evans nearly get there by scoring 19.  All in all, just a great week, and the highest weekly total we’ve had this season!  Nice work big guy!  This was John’s first Weekly High Score prize this season, and is the fourth different team to claim one this year.  

Across the rest of the league, my Rebels got scalped by Chief Dredd so there are no undefeated teams remaining.  The last time anyone even made it to 5-0 was back in 2013 when Timmy’s Channel 4 News Team actually started off 6-0.  No one has made it past 4-0 since then.  On the other end of the spectrum, American BadAss remains winless after Big Sack No TDs had a Monday Night comeback to win 89-74.  The record for worst starting record belongs to Yours Truly, as twice (in a row I might add) my team started off 0-6 (2011 & 2012).  In other matchups, James’ renamed “Tip Toeing” and Rob’s Wyld Ass Monkeys notched victories to move into winning records at 3-2.

This week is my annual “Way Too Early” Playoff Predictions!  I’m sticking to my same methodology because it’s gotta work this time. More on that below.  Also, we give out a Best Bench at a level not seen in years.  Let’s.  Do.  This!!

BIG TIME

• Drake Maye, QB – American BadAss – 41 pts – This is most points scored in a single week by any player this year!  This was quite the game for Maye, throwing for 374 yards and 4 TD’s, plus he had 25 yards rushing and another TD.
• Jahmyr Gibbs, RB – Unlucky Irish – 35 pts – Another week north of 30 points for Gibbs which gives him 3 this season in just 5 weeks of action.  He was great this week, going for 151 yards and 2 TD’s, plus added 5 catches for 56 yards.  He is now the top ranked runningback in fantasy, and it’s not really close.  He leads the 2nd place RB (Bijan Robinson) by 27 points.
• Bucky Irving, RB – Joe’s Pats – 32 pts – Coming into the week, Bucky had 31 total points on the season.  He just went ahead and doubled that with an amazing week, getting 165 yards on the ground, along with 10 yards receiving and adding both a rushing and receiving TD.
• Jayden Daniels, QB – Unlucky Irish – 30 pts – Who needs a passing game?  Daniels threw for just 199 passing yards and no TD’s.  But he made up for it by rushing for 103 yards plus getting in the endzone twice!
• Jaylen Warren, RB – Chief Dredd – 30 pts – Warren was all about the long plays this week, gaining 101 yards and a TD on just 15 carries, plus gaining 87 yards receiving on just 6 catches.  He averaged nearly 9 yards each time he touched the ball.

COME ON MAN

• Jaylen Waddle, WR – Scottish Rebels – 1 pt – This is the definition of ‘Come On Man’.  He was literally 2 yards away from getting 2 more points.  He caught 2 passes for 19 yards (could you get just 1 more?), plus had one carry for 9 yards (1 more? Maybe??).  Come on man...
• Juwan Johnson, TE – sprouts – 1 pt – Wasn’t for lack of trying… JJ caught 4 of 5 passes thrown his way, but he gained all of 16 yards.
• Jake Ferguson, TE – American BadAss – 1 pt – He did catch 50% of passes thrown his way (3 of 6), but they didn’t go far.  He finished with only 19 yards.
• Colston Loveland, TE – Unlucky Irish – 1 pt – Another weak tight end performance.  Loveland caught 2 balls for 19 yards.  Don’t love that.
• Harold Fanin Jr., TE – Tip Toeing – 0 pts – The tight end failures keep on coming.  After scoring 17 and 8 points in the previous two weeks, Harold just went to sleep this week.  One catch.  Four yards.  Zero points.  
• Ceedee Lamb, WR – Chief Dredd – 0 pts – Lamb did have a quad injury, and I normally don’t call out injured players in this section.  But he actually played after he sustained the injury, so apparently he was healthy enough to continue disappointing everyone.  Even after the goose egg this week, Lamb is still the 3rd highest scoring wide receiver so far this season.

CHRIS COLLINSWORTH AUTO-COMMENT GENERATOR:

“Now here’s a guy [insert the most gay thing you can think of related to Patrick Mahomes]”

JOKE OF THE WEEK – GRAMMAR EDITION

Contractions function almost identically to the full two-word phrase, but are only appropriate in some places in a sentence.  It’s one of the weird quirks of this language we’ve.

JOKE OF THE WEEK #2 – GRAMMAR EDITION

Some people say the English language is confusing.  To which I say, it’s.

PLAYOFFS?  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!!  PLAYOFFS??!

Before we dive into this season’s predictions, a quick look back.  Over the last 8 seasons, my prediction record is 36 correct and 12 wrong, so I’m right at a 75% success rate.  Only once in those 8 seasons have I gone 6-for-6 on my picks, and that was way back in 2020.  I’ve gone 5-1 three times, 4-2 another three times, and in 2023 I had my worst showing at 3-3.  

Last season was one of the 4-2 finishes, partly due to my not picking Unlucky Irish to make the playoffs.  But John’s team became the first team in league history to make it in after starting the season 0-5.  Somehow after that brutal start, John managed to battle back to a 7-7 record which nabbed him the first Wildcard spot.  Absolutely crazy!  So there’s always hope.

In spite of my mixed results, I’m still following the same methodology as in years past:  mostly looking at current records, points scored, schedule difficulty and utilization, but also throwing in some gut feelings.  You know, part science, part art.  

So now without further ado, here are my “Way Too Early” 2026 Playoff Predictions:

Most likely to make it in:  Tip Toeing and Scottish Rebels.  

James and I are tied for most points scored so far this season with 508.  This is the only sure bet left where the top scoring team through 5 weeks has always made it in.  So I’m banking on that trend to continue.

Better chance than not:  Chief Dredd and Unlucky Irish.  

Timmy is tied for the best record in the league at 4-1, which has a 79% playoff qualification rate.  Plus he ranks 5th in scoring, which oddly qualifies 75% of the time.  Two solid indicators.  

John meanwhile ranks 3rd in scoring, literally just one point behind James and I with 507 points.  He also has the easiest remaining schedule.  (I’m not getting fooled again this season, John!)

Will be tight:  Joe’s Pats and sprouts.  

Joe ranks 4th in utilization and 6th in points scored, which qualifies ~53% of the time.  Not exactly overwhelming odds, but Joe usually figures out a way to scrape together enough players to get in.  

For Russ, he ranks 4th in scoring which qualifies ~62% of the time but he does have the most difficult remaining schedule.  So it’s gonna be tight.

Teams Not Expected to Make it:  Wyld Ass Monkeys, J LUV U LONG TIME, Big Sack No TDs and American BadAss.  

For Rob, it was a very tough decision…he has a 3-2 record which is good, and has historically been a good playoff-qualification indicator, but currently ranks 9th in points scored, which is not good.  For Shawn, he has the 2nd worst record (1-4) which has only qualified 21% of the time.  For Jens, he ranks 8th in points and 10th in utilization, both of which hurt qualification chances.  For Jason, he’s got the double whammy of having an 0-4-1 record and is currently the lowest scoring team.  Two other times there have been teams to start 0-4-1, and neither time did they qualify.  Also, the lowest scoring team through Week 5 has only qualified ~16% of the time. 

If history is any guide, I’m probably wrong on two of my picks. The question is, which two? Still a lot of games to be played!

BEST BENCH

Some teams who don’t claim many Best Benches REALLY go for it when they get one.  Such is the case with this week’s winner.  The bench-improvement-possibility taking the crown this week is a MASSIVE 56 points!  This is the highest improvement possibility since Week 2, 2023, over 3 years ago.  The Week 5 Best Bench goes to… American BadAss!

Jason needed only three roster moves to get there:  D. Maye for D. Prescott +29, P. Washington for Z. Flowers +18 and B. Corum for C. Brown +9.  As mentioned, it’s been a while since Jason took a Best Bench, as his last one was in Week 17 of 2024.  It was the second longest non-Best Bench streak in the league.  (One team holds the current record at nearly 2 years of no Best Benches.)

Four NFL teams are on byes this week and injuries are more present than ever, so make sure to set your rosters.  And get those waiver claims in!!

Bourbon Buddy is Top Shelf!

Week 3 was brutal on some matchups, as we had losing teams score 106 and 108, yet had winning teams score 67 and 80.  Five teams scored over 100 points, with the aforementioned two coming in losing efforts.  Sprouts beat Joe’s Pats 117-108 and Bourbon Buddy defeated Unlucky Irish 128-106.  This season the 100-point threshold has been crossed 12 times, with 3 of those coming in defeat.  So thus far this season, scoring in triple digits is only winning 75% of the time, well below the historical average of 86.8%.  Last season, of 37 100-point scores, only 4 ended with a loss.  We are only three weeks in, and we already have three…like I said, brutal!

The big congratulations this week go to Bourbon Buddy!  James snagged not only his first Weekly High Score Prize of the season, but also logged his first victory this season.  His 128 points this week was a real beaut, with six players scoring in double digits led by Bijan Robinson with 35!  James also had Jordan Love score 18, his tight end Harold Fannin Jr score 17, and even his defense (Broncos) put up 16.  Amazingly, James more than doubled his point total from last week…nice work Cap’n!!

In other league happenings, my Scottish Rebels somehow remained undefeated, and American BadAss is the lone winless team.  Sprouts is the highest scoring team thus far (318 points), just ahead of two other teams who have scored over 300 (Bourbon Buddy with 306, and Joe’s Pats with 304).  Five teams sit with a record of 1-2.  The North Division has scored 1,460 points and the South Division 1,246.

This week we’ll take a look at some surprises after 3 weeks and of course award the Best Bench.  Lets. Do. This.

BIG TIME

• Bijan Robinson, RB – Bourbon Buddy – 35 pts – Robinson single-handedly outgained the entire Packers offense in the first half, ultimately finishing with 194 yards and 2 TDs.  The strong bounce back game after last week has him as the 4th ranked RB with 65 points scored this season.
• Jahmyr Gibbs, RB – Unlucky Irish – 33 pts – Gibbs now has an impressive 6 touchdowns on the season after getting in 3 times this week (2 rushing and 1 receiving).  He added 99 yards on the ground and 65 through the air, and with 81 total points scored is the top RB in fantasy.
• Brock Purdy, QB – J LUV U LONG TIME – 30 pts – Purdy looked really good against Arizona, completing 15 passes for 297 yards (nearly 20 yards per completion) plus 4 TD’s.  
• Sam Darnold, QB – Free Agent – 30 pts – Strong outing after sitting out two weeks, completing 31 passes for 379 yards and 4 touchdowns.  But he did have 2 interceptions, one of which being a pick six.

Lumberg f*cked her

COME ON, MAN

• San Francisco 49ers, DEF – Wyld Ass Monkeys – 2 pts – A home game against the Arizona Cardinals sounded like a tasty matchup.  But the 9ers gave up 30 points, had no turnovers, and only managed 2 sacks.
• Dalton Kincaid, TE – J LUV U LONG TIME – 1 pt – Only 2 catches for 38 yards, plus a lost fumble.  All adds up to a weak day.
• Tetairoa McMillan, WR – Unlucky Irish – 1 pt – Just not a good showing on Sunday, catching only 2 passes for a meager 17 yards.
• Hunter Henry, TE – American BadAss – 0 pts – Yes he did play.  No he didn’t get injured.  Yes he was thrown to more than once (twice).  No he did not catch both of them (1 for 2).  And no, it did not go for more than 10 yards (5 yds).

SURPRISES – WEEK 3 EDITION

This season has been quite the doozy, with a lot of early surprises.  Injuries aren’t necessarily surprising in the NFL, but the amount of quarterbacks we saw go down early has certainly raised eyebrows.  The QB injury list is long:  Jaxson Dart, Jayden Daniels, Caleb Williams and Baker Mayfield lead the list.  In running backs, we’ve seen De’Von Achane, Breece Hall and James Conner all get injured.

Here are other surprises thus far this season:

• Derrick Henry is currently the 3rd ranked running back with 66 points scored so far.  The dude is 32 years old, but still looks like an absolute Mack truck running the ball.
• Travis Kelce and George Kittle are the leading tight ends with 35 points scored each.  What is this 2022?!
• Davante Adams is the 5th ranked wide receiver with 49 points scored.  What is this 2020?! Pretty good for a 7th round draft pick by Jens.
• Brock Purdy is the 2nd highest scoring quarterback with 78 points scored this year.  Shawn drafted him in the 12th round!  Excluding keepers, he was the 14th quarterback selected in the draft.
• Drake Maye was the 1st quarterback selected (excluding keepers), and he is currently the 34th ranked QB.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Out of 32 NFL teams, Maye ranks as the 34th best QB due to the fact that Jaxson Dart scored 26 points in Week 1, and Case Keenum just put up 23 in Week 3.  Both of those single week totals are more than Maye has scored in all three weeks combined.  Maye has a whopping 18 points so far this season.
• Jaxon Smith-Njigba has gone from being a really solid receiver to an apparent Hall of Fame candidate.  JSN is the top receiver and has 25 more points than 2nd place.  He is averaging 26 points per game, and 2nd place is averaging 17.  He already has 6 touchdown catches on the season.  And this was without his starting QB for essentially the first 2 weeks.  This could be a legendary season if he keeps it up.
• Lastly, Tyler Shough is currently tied for 3rd amongst quarterbacks with 70 points scored so far.  The surprising thing is his consistency, as he has posted point totals of 25, 22, and 23 so far.  Also surprising is that he is playing in New Orleans and putting up these numbers.   

NFL Teams choosing their alternate jersey colors

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?  To get to the same side.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #2

A mathematician is afraid of negative numbers.  He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

BEST BENCH

First off, shout out to two teams this week with Optimal Line-ups… both Chief Dredd and sprouts had 0-point-improvement possibilities.  Nice work gentlemen!  Secondly, I’ve gotta let Jens off the hook this week, as unfortunately, we didn’t get to see the season start with a three-peat Best Bench. I was really hoping for some history there!  Alas, this week’s Best Bench was a fairly low total, actually the lowest since Week 6 last season, as it was only a 24-point-improvement possibility.  The Week 3 Best Bench goes to… J LUV U LONG TIME!!!

Shawn needed three roster moves to get there: B. Bowers for D. Kincaid +16, W. Robinson for J. Williams +7, and J. Downs for D. Moore +1.  This was his first Best Bench since Week 5 last season.

Get those waiver claims in and get ready for Week 4!!  We are only 2 weeks away from my ‘Way Too Early Week 5 Playoff Predictions’.

All Hail the Chief!!

Congrats to Timmy taking the top spot in Week 2 with 104 points! Chief Dredd narrowly edged Big Sack No TD’s by 1 point to claim the top spot this week. Chief Dredd was led by a huge performance from Ceedee Lamb, scoring 30 points, plus Christian McCaffrey adding 18, and his kicker(!) Harrison Butker scoring 17 points as the third highest scoring player on his team. Quite the kicker production! This is Timmy’s first Weekly High Score since splitting Week 7 last season, or since Week 6-2023 for his last solo victory. Well done TimMAY!! 

In other league happenings, my Scottish Rebels are somehow the only remaining undefeated team, and only two teams have yet to notch a victory. American BadAss tied with sprouts, giving us our first tie game, and the defending Champion (Bourbon Buddy) is the lone team at 0-2. The last time when we’ve had this situation, with only one team at 2-0 and only one team at 0-2 was back in 2021. Oddly, my Scottish Rebels were the only team at 2-0, and it was the Coors Light Drunk Guys at 0-2. In the final standings of 2021, Shawn’s Drunk Guys finished 2nd, and my Rebels finished 4th, so I guess the first two games don’t dictate the season. No reason to panic yet. (Unless you’re the New York Giants, Chicago Bears, or Washington Commanders. Seriously, what is with all those injuries?!) 

So I’ve been traveling and haven’t been able to get my shit together, so I didn’t get the full write up put together this week. I’ll be back next week with a full update, which will include a new segment called “Surprise Performers thru 3 Weeks” (hint – Bryce Young is a leading candidate to be featured), and a check in on the ‘All Unwanted Team’. 

But we can’t leave the week without awarding the Best Bench. Jens took it home in Week 1 with a solid 35 point-improvement-possibility, and What Do You Know?! he improved on his score this week with a very impressive 47 point-improvement-possibility to take the Week 2 Best Bench!! Big Sack No TDs needed three player swaps this week: D. Adams for J. Coker +28, J. Ferguson for T. Kraft +15 and P. Mahomes for M. Stafford +4. The last time there was a team snagging the first two Best Benches was in 2019, when Timmy did it. But those ended up being his only two for the whole season… 

Get rosters ready for Week 3!

2026 Sacred Sundays is upon us!

The 2026 season has begun!!  This marks the 23rd season of Sacred Sundays, and more amazingly, the 10th season with all of the same returning owners!  Truly amazing!  

And what a way to start the season!  Five teams scored over 100 points, with 975 total points scored across the league.  It was the most points scored in a Week 1 since 2013!  But none were better than my Scottish Rebels leading the way with 129 points.  Josh Allen was huge for me, racking up 35 points, and Justin Jefferson was awesome as well adding 23 points.  Four of my other players scored in double digits leading me to a tough victory over Bourbon Buddy 129-114.  

The other Week 1 winners were: J LUV U LONG TIME, sprouts, Joe’s Pats and Wyld Ass Monkeys.  Last season, three of the Week 1 winners qualified for the playoffs, including the eventual champion, Worst to First.  'Congrats' to all the winners, and 'Try Harder' to all the losers.  Hahaha!  What do you know?!?

This week will feature my season primer with a look back at keepers over the last ten seasons, plus my draft breakdown, and of course, we will hand out the season’s first Best Bench!  Let’s get to this!

KEEPERS – THE BACKBONE OF FANTASY GREATNESS

With 10 years logged, it means we have 10 years of keeper data to analyze, and wouldn’t you know it, I did just that!  Here is a breakdown of keepers across the last 10 seasons:

• There have been 199 declared keepers, as only once did a team only declare a single keeper. The sole occurrence was in 2020 when Shawn, then known as the Coors Light Drunk Guys, kept only Drew Brees.
• The 199 keepers are comprised of 125 players, as 40 players have been kept more than once.
• The player who has been kept the most times is Travis Kelce, having been named a keeper 8 times by Timmy.  Second most is Patrick Mahomes with 7 picks, also by Timmy.
• Third place is a tie between Josh Allen and Ezekiel Elliott, both who have been kept 5 times.
• The position kept most is runningback with 79.
• This is followed by wide receivers with 54, then quarterbacks with 49 and tight ends with 15.
• Kickers and Defenses have only been kept once… I kept the Baltimore Ravens Defense in 2018, and Jason kept Kicker Brandon Aubrey in 2024.
• The NFL team with the most keepers is the Kansas City Chiefs with 20.  Second is Dallas Cowboys with 14, and third is a tie between Baltimore and Atlanta with 9 each.
• The teams with the fewest keepers are: New England, Denver, Chicago, and the New York Jets.  The Patriots, Broncos and Bears have only had 3 keepers each, while the New York Jets have only ever had 1 keeper selected.  The lone Jet kept was Breece Hall back in 2024 kept by James.
• In terms of the rounds where keepers have been selected, the 1st round and 15th round lead the way with 69 and 37, respectively.  That is over 53% of keepers being from either the first or the last round.
• The 2nd round has had 25 keepers, and the 3rd round has had 15. 
• Every round between 4-14 has had at least 3 keepers.

Imagine not scoring double digits in Week 1

DRAFT ANALYSIS

This season probably marks the closest timing of our draft date to the first NFL game ever.  We drafted on Monday 9/7/26 and the first game was just two days later on 9/9/26.  So normally I’ll post a draft write-up before the season, but there was no chance!  Thus, here is my normal draft analysis breakdown:

• Wide Receivers were the most selected position with 51, followed by Runningbacks with 43.
• Quarterbacks and Tight Ends tied with 17 selected in the draft.  Three teams picked only one QB: Chief Dredd, Joe’s Pats and Scottish Rebels.  
• One team is going for the oversize goalline package with 3 tight ends drafted: Wyld Ass Monkeys!
• Five NFL teams led with 7 players drafted:  Denver, Detroit, Green Bay, Jacksonville, and New England.
• The NFL teams with the fewest players drafted were: Las Vegas (2), New York Jets (2) and Miami Dolphins (1).  
• No backup Kickers were selected this season.  
• Two backup Defenses were selected, as Unlucky Irish and American BadAss doubled up on Defense picks.
• The most of any one position on any team are 6 wide receivers, on both J LUV U LONG TIME and Chief Dredd.

Yahoo was pretty brutal to all teams this season, doling out nothing higher than a B grade, four D grades and 2 F’s:

The Yahoo predicted records are pretty amusing as well because it has all teams with at least one tie game, four with 2, and Big Sack with 3 tie games.  Never in league history has a team had 3 tie games in a season, only five teams ever have had 2 tie games in a season, and the most teams with ties in a season was 6 back in 2015.  So Yahoo is predicting quite the historic season!

BEST BENCH

This season’s inaugural Best Bench goes to a team who has a remarkable run going of having just a single Best Bench each season for the last four seasons.  It has generally come later in the season (Week 15 in 2025, Week 14 in 2024, Week 8 in 2023, and Week 13 in 2022), so they are just knocking it out early this year!  With a solid 35-point-improvement-possibility, the Week 1 Best Bench goes to… Big Sack No TDs!  Jens needed to swap only two players to get there:  J. Coker for R. Rice +18 and P. Mahomes for M. Stafford +17.

Get your waiver claims in and get ready for Week 2!!

Has anyone seen my pen?

2025 Champion is the Worst!!

Worst to 1st are the 2025 Champions!!  This is the second championship for James in the past three seasons, and gives him 4 Sacred Sundays titles overall which ties him for the most with American BadAss and Joe’s Pats!  In the end, Worst to 1st topped sprouts 100-76 thanks to a huge game from Bijan Robinson (37 pts), plus double-digit scores from Jacoby Brissett (16 pts), Steelers D (13 pts), Puka Nacua (10 pts) and Ka’imi Fairbairn (10 pts).  Congratulations Cap’n!  What a great season!

For Russ’ sprouts it marks the 3rd time coming in 2nd place, the last time being in 2020.  Sprouts led the league in Weekly High Score Prizes this season, claiming 4 weeks, plus were the highest scoring team through all 17 weeks (1,717 points).  Well done sir!

In the matchup for 3rd place my Scottish Rebels improved upon my Week 16 score by a crazy 79 points and rang up a 136-80 victory over American BadAss.  In the process I also claimed the final Weekly High Score Prize of the season, giving me 3 total.  My Rebels were led by Derrick Henry who went full monster mode finishing with 48 points!  That was the 2nd highest single week score by any player this season, trailing only Jonathan Taylor’s 49 point masterpiece in Week 10.  For me, it was the first time I’ve finished in 3rd Place, and for American BadAss it is the first time Jason has finished in 4th place.  Jason still leads the league in top four finishes with a total of 12 (4 championships, 4 runner-ups, 3 thirds and 1 4th).

Alright so this week we’ve got to get to the final money tally, plus final season notes, and of course, the final Best Bench.  Let’s do this!

BIG TIME

-Derrick Henry, RB – Scottish Rebels – 48 pts – King Henry ruled over all!  He was unstoppable in the final fantasy game of the season, gaining 216 yards rushing and 4 TD’s!

-Bijan Robinson, RB – Worst to 1st – 37 pts – What a stat line, racking up 229 total yards from scrimmage (195 rushing, 34 receiving) plus adding 2 TD’s.  The bulk of it came on his 93-yard touchdown run, which is the longest touchdown of his career including college.

-Brock Purdy, QB – Meh – 36 pts – In spite of throwing an early pick-6, Purdy had a phenomenal game.  He completed 24 passes for 303 yards and 3 TD’s, plus added 28 yards and 2 TD’s on the ground.

-Drake Maye, QB – Joe’s Pats – 32 pts – The Patriots destroyed the Jets on Sunday...literally the game was basically over in the first quarter.  Maye was a huge part of it, completing an amazing 19 of 21 passes for 256 yards and 5(!!) touchdowns.  MVP??

-Chase Brown, RB – sprouts – 26 pts – Brown tallied 2 TD’s to go along with 101 yards, giving him 54 points scored in just the last two weeks.  This jumped him up the rankings to finish as the 13th highest scoring runningback this season.

COME ON MAN

-Jakobi Meyers, WR – Wyld Ass Monkeys – 1 pt – He caught 6 passes for 39 yards, but coughed up a fumble.  Oof.

-Michael Pittman, WR – Meh – 1 pt – Just 2 catches for 16 yards, which gives him a total of 6 points over the last 3 weeks.  Meh is right.

-Jared Goff, QB – sprouts – 1 pt – His worse game of the season by far and comes at the most critical point of the season.  He was absolutely terrible throwing for only 197 yards and 1 TD, but in the process throwing 2 interceptions plus losing 3 fumbles.  Yuck.

-Tetrairoa McMillan, WR – Unlucky Irish – 0 pts – He caught 1 of 4 passes thrown his way, and took that solo one for all of 5 yards.  Weak.

-Chris Rodriguez Jr., RB – American BadAss – 0 pts – He was declared inactive prior to the game, yet remained in BadAss’ lineup.

-Matt Prater, K – J LUV U LONG TIME – 0 pts – He was declared inactive prior to the game, yet remained in J LUV’s lineup.

SEASON NOTES

Highest Scoring Player = Josh Allen, QB, BUF – 352 points

Highest Scoring Player (non-QB) = Jonathan Taylor, RB, IND – 309 points.  (Ranked 5th overall)

Highest Scoring Team = sprouts – 1,717 points

Highest Scoring Keepers = Joe’s Pats – 636 points (J. Taylor = 309, Drake Maye = 327)

Best Utilization (i.e. fewest Bench Points) = Wyld Ass Monkeys = 89.6%

Unluckiest Team (i.e. most points against) = J LUV U LONG TIME – 1,322 points against

Most Waivers = Worst to 1st – 32 waiver claims this season

Most Best Benches = Joe’s Pats – 5 (weeks 2, 7, 9, 12 and 16)

Fewest Best Benches = Wyld Ass Monkeys & American BadAss = 0.  Jason’s last Best Bench was Week 17-2024, and Rob’s was Week 7-2024.

EVERYONE NEEDS MONEY, THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT MONEY

Here is the final tally on prizes won this season:

1) James = $650 - Champion ($500), Weekly High Scores (3)

2) Russ = $500 - Runner-up ($300), Weekly High Scores (4)

3) Jerry = $350 - 3rd Place ($200), Weekly High Scores (3)

4) Jason = $200 - 4th Place ($150), Weekly High Score (1)

5) Joe = $100 - Weekly High Scores (2)

6) John = $100 – Weekly High Scores (2)

7) Shawn = $50 – Weekly High Score (1)

8) Rob = $25 – Weekly High Score (0.5)

9) Timmy = $25 – Weekly High Score (0.5)

Congratulations to all the winners!  I’ll reach out to everyone and settle up in the next week.

2026 DRAFT ORDER

The 2026 draft order will be the reverse order of standings from this season, so will be:

1) Shawn

2) Jens

3) Rob

4) Timmy

5) John

6) Joe

7) Jason

8) Jerry

9) Russ

10) James

The same keeper rules will apply – Each team can keep up to two players from this year’s final roster and will count as a draft pick for whatever round they were drafted this season.  Keepers being re-kept will count as a first round pick, and free agent pickups will count as a 15th round pick.  Rosters will be considered final by the end of the NFL regular season, so if there are any players you want to add or drop, get that done this week.  I’ll send out final rosters after the Week 18 NFL games conclude.

TOP FIVES

Here are the top five highest scoring players from each position:

Player	Pos	Team	Pts	Owner
Josh Allen	QB	Buf	352	Scottish Rebels
Matthew Stafford	QB	LAR	328	Wyld Ass Monkeys
Drake Maye	QB	NE	327	Joe's Pats
Dak Prescott	QB	Dal	310	Unlucky Irish
Trevor Lawrence	QB	Jax	298	American BadAss

Surprises here are no Patrick Mahomes, Joe Burrow or Lamar Jackson, and seeing Trevor Lawrence on this list.

 

Player	Pos	Team	Pts	Owner
Jonathan Taylor	RB	Ind	309	Joe's Pats
Christian McCaffrey	RB	SF	295	sprouts
Bijan Robinson	RB	Atl	281	Worst to 1st
Jahmyr Gibbs	RB	Det	262	Unlucky Irish
James Cook	RB	Buf	257	J LUV U LONG TIME

Jonathan Taylor had a fantastic season, and CMC dominated by actually staying healthy.

 

Player	Pos	Team	Pts	Owner
Puka Nacua	WR	LAR	233	Worst to 1st
Jaxon Smith-Njigba	WR	Sea	231	sprouts
George Pickens	WR	Dal	192	American BadAss
Amon-Ra St. Brown	WR	Det	188	sprouts
Ja'Marr Chase	WR	Cin	174	Wyld Ass Monkeys

Russ dominated in wide receivers having 2 in the top 5.  And how about George Pickens finishing 3^rd?  Who saw that coming?

 

Player	Pos	Team	Pts	Owner
Trey McBride	TE	Ari	176	Meh
Dallas Goedert	TE	Phi	118	J LUV U LONG TIME
Kyle Pitts Sr.	TE	Atl	111	sprouts
Travis Kelce	TE	KC	108	Wyld Ass Monkeys
Harold Fannin Jr.	TE	Cle	107	W (Dec 31)

Good to see Taylor’s boyfriend still making the top list for TE’s, but who in the hell is this Harold Fannin guy?  I swear pulling this list is the first time I’ve heard that name.

 

Player	Pos	Team	Pts	Owner
Jason Myers	K	Sea	194	Unlucky Irish
Brandon Aubrey	K	Dal	181	Big Sack No TDs
Ka'imi Fairbairn	K	Hou	168	Worst to 1st
Cameron Dicker	K	LAC	166	sprouts
Cam Little	K	Jax	148	sprouts

Russ hoarding the kickers here with the 4^th and 5^th highest scores on the season.

 

Player	Pos	Team	Pts	Owner
Seattle	DEF	Sea	232	Scottish Rebels
Jacksonville	DEF	Jax	197	sprouts
Houston	DEF	Hou	197	Unlucky Irish
Philadelphia	DEF	Phi	192	W (Dec 31)
Los Angeles Rams	DEF	LAR	185	Joe's Pats

The Seahawks were a crazy surprise, and look at Jacksonville finishing with the 2^nd highest scoring defense.  That has to be the first time in forever.

BEST BENCH

When your starting QB only scores 1 point, that puts you in the driver’s seat to win the Best Bench.  Such was the case this week, as the winning team had a 32-point-improvement-possibility, with half of that coming from the QB position.  Claiming the final Best Bench of 2025 is… sprouts!!

Russ needed only 3 roster moves to get there:  B. Nix for J. Goff +18, C. Little for C. Dicker +11, and Jaguars for Broncos +3.  This was only Russ’ second Best Bench of the season, having also gotten it back in Week 8.

Wow, it is hard to believe another season come and gone in what feels like only a couple weeks.  It’s like when you get the 6-month reminder notice from your dentist, and it feels impossible that 6 months have passed since the last time.  (I was literally just there!!)  Alas, another season in the books.  This marks the 9th season where we have had all of the same 10 owners, truly an impressive streak.  Many thanks to all of you fine gentlemen for sticking with Sacred Sundays all these years!  

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas, and I’m wishing all of you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2026!  

-Commish