Week One has Sprouted!

Is it not remarkable that a guy can be with his second team, in the 16th year of his career, only two years removed from neck surgery that kept him out for a full season, and can come out and play the greatest game of his career?!  Peyton Manning completely blasted the defending Super Bowl champions en route to a game that will go down in NFL history… 7 TD’s, 462 yards and 0 interceptions.  If Peyton keeps up this kind of play, Denver Bronco fans will start saying “Elway who?”  Manning’s performance ranks as the 2nd best individual fantasy performance in Sacred Sunday’s history (tied with two others – Adrian Peterson and Michael Vick), and ties Vick for the best performance ever by a quarterback.  Quite a way to start the season!!

And what a way to start the season fantasy-wise!  There was a total of 991 points scored, which is the third highest weekly total ever.  Three teams scored over 120 points, with sprouts leading the way with 133!!  Russ had monster games from the aforementioned Manning (49 pts), A.J. Green (31 pts) and Julian Thomas (23 pts), and also got a solid performance from Brandon Marshall (16 pts).  Props also go to Russ for having his optimal line-up in the game this week!  Well done sir!

But perhaps the most important thing that happened this week was that my team started the season 1-0.  There will be no 0-6 start to my season this year!  Heck yeah!!  Alright, enough dilly-dallying, let’s get to this!!

BOOM SHAKA LAKA!!

-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 49 pts – About the only negative thing that can be said for Peyton in this game was that he netted -2 rushing yards.  But 462 yards passing and 7 touchdowns more than makes up for that.

-Colin Kaepernick, QB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 33 pts – Green Bay was bound and determined not to let Kaepernick run in this game.  And they were successful, as he only gained 22 yards on the ground.  But they must’ve forgot that he could also throw, because he did that to the tune of 412 yards and 3 TD’s.  Yeah, kinda didn’t work out like the Packers had hoped.

-A.J. Green, WR – sprouts – 31 pts – Green was dominant, while averaging 18 yards per catch (162 yards total) and adding 2 touchdowns.  This guy is the real deal.

-Eli Manning, QB – SOFA KING GOOD – 31 pts – For not looking all that great (and crying quite a bit), Eli had quite a good day for fantasy owners.  He had 450 yards and 4 TD’s.  But he also tossed 3 picks.

-Demaryius Thomas, WR – American BadAss – 31 pts – Thomas had 5 catches for 161 yards, which is an amazing 32.2 yards per catch!  Add in 2 touchdowns, and yeah, he had a pretty good day.

- Anquan Boldin, WR – Channel 4 News Team – 29 pts – Did I not tell you that we were all going to wish we had drafted this guy?  Why Baltimore let him get away is anyone’s guess…  Guess they couldn’t use 208 yards and a touchdown.

-Victor Cruz, WR – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 29 pts – Cruz rattled off 118 yards and grabbed 3 touchdowns.  That means that we had to see his stupid dance three times.  Can a defense please just cover this guy?

-Adrian Peterson, RB – Butkus’ Dick – 28 pts – After AP’s first play from scrimmage (77 yard TD run), he was on pace to set the single season rushing record by the 3^rd quarter.  Unfortunately he finished with only 93, but added 2 rushing TD’s and 1 receiving TD. 

-Kansas City, DEF – Channel 4 News Team – The KC Defense was only started in 3% of Yahoo! leagues in Week 1, and those 6 teams benefitted from a dominate performance.  Six sacks, 2 interceptions, 1 touchdown and only 2 points against.  I wonder if this is a testament of how good the Kansas City defense is, or just how bad the Jacksonville offense is?

COME ON MAN…

-Stevan Ridley, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – Ridley got benched for the second half after he had a two fumbles.  Luckily for him (and Shawn), Shane Vereen is out, so Belichick will have to stick with him as his starter.

-Dez Bryant, WR – Butkus’ Dick – 2 pts – Double teams have a way of limiting a player’s production, and that combined with Tony Romo at quarterback spell disaster for any player.

-Roddy White, WR – SOFA KING GOOD – 1 pt – If he’s hurt, he shouldn’t play.  Because if a player like Roddy White is playing, you’ve got to expect more than this paltry performance.

-James Jones, WR – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Jones didn’t catch any balls, and I’m not sure if Rodgers even threw one his way.  That doesn’t bode well for a team that passes as much as the Packers do.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK

Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”

TEBOW HAS A DREAM, WHICH IS TO RELIVE HIS DREAM

As you know, Tim Tebow was cut from the New England Patriots before the start of the season.  Shortly thereafter, he tweeted “…I will remain in relentless pursuit of continuing my lifelong dream of being an NFL quarterback.”  Apparently he’s already forgotten the 2011 season when he was with the Denver Broncos and WAS an NFL quarterback that actually WON a playoff game!  You can’t say that it is your lifelong dream to be an NFL quarterback when you’ve already been an NFL quarterback and accomplished something that the Kansas City Chiefs haven’t done in nearly two decades!  It would be like Buzz Aldrin coming out and saying that he is pursuing his lifelong dream to walk on the moon… uh, Buzz, you kinda already did that.

LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE TIGHT ENDS

BoomGoesTheDynamite had quite the performance from the tight end position, with Jason Witten racking up 19 points, but that wasn’t even his highest scoring tight end.  That honor went to Vernon Davis on Boom’s bench, who tallied 21 points on Sunday.  But get this, that wasn’t even the highest scoring tight end in the match-up between Boom and the Midnight Maulers… that honor went to Jared Cook who rang up 24 points, but was (unfortunately) on the Maulers’ bench.  Overall there were four tight ends in the top 25 scoring players from Week 1, which is more than I can ever remember.  Maybe tight end isn’t just a throw-away position.

LEAGUE PICK ‘EM

There were only three teams that picked winners in the weekly matchups this week, and Joe’s Pats made the most correct (3).  (Timmy was a homer with his picks, as he only picked his game…Tim-There are 5 matchups each week, and you need to pick a winner in all of them.  Lol!)  But by virtue of getting three correct, Joe was moved to first on the waiver list.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK – BONUS!

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

BEST BENCH

With a high scoring week, there is always going to be more than a few points left on the bench.  SOFA KING GOOD and the Channel 4 News Team made a respectable showing this week, with a 28-point and 30-point improvement possibility, respectively, but that wasn’t enough to take the crown this week.  With a big time 34-point improvement, the Week 1 2013 Best Bench Award goes to… the Midnight Maulers!  Jamie only needed 3 roster moves to get it done: J. Cook for G. Olsen (+19), D. Moore for J. Jones (+10) and the Buccaneers for the Bears (+5).

One week down and only fifteen to go!  Make sure you get your lineups set as early as possible each week, as it looks like there is a Thursday night game every week.  That is unless you’re playing against my team, in which case you should wait until Sunday night. J