American BadAss Reigns!

American BadAss is the top dog once again!  Jason claimed his 4th Sacred Sundays Championship with an unlikely victory over Channel 4 News Team.  I say unlikely because the News Team had been dominant all season, averaging 102 points per game for the whole season, and having scored 125 and 149 points in the two weeks leading up to the Championship game.  Things just didn’t go right for Timmy in the Championship, as the News Boys only managed 55 points which was their lowest total all season.  But things couldn’t have been any better for Jason as he won the championship game and claimed the final Weekly High Score Prize of the season!  Once again he did it with solid performance all-around, with three players scoring over 20 points, and all but his tight end posting double digits.  Nice job bro!

American BadAss won championships in 2004, 2007 and 2008 prior to this season.  In 2011, they finished 3rd, last year they finished 2nd, and now this year it’s back on top.  Although there was that five year gap between championships, this is as close to a dynasty as we have in Sacred Sundays history.  If American BadAss finishes in the top three for 2014, I will officially bestow that title and refer to American BadAss as “The American BadAss Dynasty” going forward.

It is truly amazing how quickly 16 weeks can fly by…  it has been a blast once again!  And for the first time ever I have managed to get a write-up posted every single week this season!  How about that?!  So here we go for one final time…


BIG YEAR
-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 404 pts – To say that Peyton had a good year, would be an understatement.  To say he had a phenomenal year might not even do it justice.  This one has to go down as a legendary year.  Last season’s top scorer was Drew Brees who put up 323 points, and Manning blew that out of the water.    He averaged nearly 27 points per game this year and scored over 30 points 5 times.  That is how you get it done!

-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 326 pts – Call him Captain Consistency!  As mentioned above, he posted 323 points last season and now 326.  Were it not for Manning’s ridiculous year, Brees would have been the best in fantasy for two years in a row.  Still, finishing in 2nd place is pretty freaking good.

-Jamaal Charles, RB – Channel 4 News Team – 301 pts – Look at what this guy can do when he stays healthy all season!  Charles gets the extra nod this season for being the player to score the most points in a single game when he racked up 54 in Week 15.  Nice work!  (Side note – no runningback broke 300 points last season, so this is quite an achievement).

-Matt Stafford, QB – Midnight Maulers – 269 pts – In spite of struggling at times, Stafford still had a great season finishing with 10 points more than he did last year.

-Philip Rivers, QB – Vandelay Industries – 269 pts – Out of nowhere, Rivers had an awesome season and finished tied for fourth highest scoring player in fantasy.  He increased his production from last year by 42% (189 to 269 points).  I honestly thought Louis was crazy for drafting this guy, but that pick really paid dividends.

-Kansas City Defense, DEF – Channel 4 News Team – 234 pts – The KC defense was on an absolute tear through the first 9 weeks, averaging over 18 points per game, and on pace to score 290 points.  Unfortunately, they only averaged 11 points after their Week 10 bye, but still finished as the top defense.

-Josh Gordon, WR – Sofa King Good – 222 pts – Can you believe that this guy was the top scoring wide receiver in fantasy this season?  Dude wasn’t even drafted, and didn’t even score a point until Week 3!  He ended up ranked 19th out of all fantasy players.

-Jimmy Graham, TE – Channel 4 News Team – 201 pts – Jimmy Graham was to tight ends what Peyton Manning was to quarterbacks this season.  There was Graham, then 52 points later there was the second place guy (Vernon Davis).

-Stephen Gostkowski, K – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 164 pts – Gotta give a little love to the top scoring kicker.  Gostkowski averaged 10.9 points per game, never scoring less than 7 in any given week.  He actually finished as the 48th highest scoring player this season, which was better than Andre Johnson, Reggie Bush, Eli Manning, and Aaron Rodgers.


EVERYONE NEEDS MONEY, THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT MONEY
Here is the final prize money tally for 2013:
1) Timmy – Channel 4 News Team - $290 – Runner-up plus 5 Weekly High Score Prizes (Weeks 2, 3, 4, 6, 15)
2) Jason – American BadAss – $260 – Champion plus 2 Weekly High Score Prizes (Weeks 14, 16)
3) Russ – sprouts - $214 – Third place plus 4 Weekly High Score Prizes (Weeks 1, 7, 10, 12)
4) James – Sofa King Good - $76 – Fourth place plus 1 Weekly High Score Prize (Week 11)
5) Louis – Vandelay Industries - $40 – 1 Weekly High Score Prize (Week 5)
6) Jamie – Midnight Maulers - $40 – 1 Weekly High Score Prize (Week 8)
7) Joe – Joe’s Pats - $40 – 1 Weekly High Score Prize (Week 13)
8) Jerry – Butkus’ Dick - $40 –1 Weekly High Score Prize(Week 9)

Well done everyone!!


KEEPERS FOR 2014
Once again this year, each team will be able to keep two players from this season’s final roster for next season.  Players that are kept will count as the draft pick in next year’s draft where they were picked in 2013.  Players that were keepers in 2013 will count as a first round draft pick for 2014.  Players that were claimed off waivers or picked up as a free agent will count as a 15th round pick.  I will send out a separate email to everyone with the final rosters for 2013 along with the keeper costs for each player.

The draft order for 2014 will be the reverse of the final standings for 2013.  So the draft order will be:
1)      BoomGoesTheDynamite – Jens
2)      Coors Light Drunk Guys – Shawn
3)      Vandelay Industries – Louis
4)      Joe’s Pats – Joe
5)      Midnight Maulers – Jamie
6)      Butkus’ Dick – Jerry
7)      Sofa King Good – James
8)      sprouts – Russ
9)      Channel 4 News Team – Timmy
10)   American BadAss – Jason

Keepers will need to be declared about a week after the NFL draft, which usually falls around the end of April.  I will send out emails as we get closer to that date.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realize you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.”


BONUS ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish.


BEST BENCH
Before awarding the final Best Bench Award for the season, I want to recap a few Best Bench stats for the season…
Team with the Most Best Bench Awards – American BadAss (3)
Team with the Highest Best Bench – sprouts (56)
Team with the Lowest Best Bench – Sofa King Good (20)
Team that went the longest without getting a Best Bench – Coors Light Drunk Guys (Week 14)

Now, without further adieu, the winner of the Week 16 Best Bench Award is… the Channel 4 News Team!  Timmy could have improved his point total this week with only 2 roster moves: D. Brown for D. Johnson (+20 pts) and A. Boldin for D. Jackson (+10 pts).


So that be it for this season!  Thanks again to all of you guys for making the season so much fun!  I’m honestly not sure I would do with my down time at work if I didn't have fantasy football… I might have to do actual work.  Banish the thought!

And for those of you who won money, I’ll send separate emails to confirm that I have your correct address and will get checks sent out this week.

Happy New Year!!!

And then there were two...

It is Championship time!!  Just like last season, the top two seeds will be facing off for the Sacred Sundays title this year.  Last year, American BadAss went in as the top seed and fell to BoomGoesTheDynamite, who was seeded second.  This season, Channel 4 News Team goes in as top dog after an unprecendented regular season, (no team has ever finished at 11-2), and through 15 weeks of play have scored 163 more total points than the next closest team!  That has to be some kind of record!

Speaking of records, this past week Channel 4 News Team set the record for the highest score ever posted in a game in Sacred Sundays history.  The prior record of 148 had been achieved twice, most recently in Week 14 of 2012 by BoomGoesTheDynamite.  Timmy did one better than that this week, finishing with 149 points, courtesy of another record…a single player record for most points in a week.  Jamaal Charles tied the single game record of 54 points (Doug Martin did it last year in Week 9), by gaining 195 receiving yards, 20 rushing yards and 5 total touchdowns!!  Tim-Tim also sets a record this week for most Weekly High Score Prizes won in a season by being the highest for the FIFTH time this year!  Last note on the News Team – had Tim had in his optimal roster, he would have finished with 173 points!  That would have only required changing Alex Smith for Cam Newton and Rashard Mendenhall for Ben Tate.  I don’t think I have ever seen a possible score that high.  Well done Timmy!  Well done indeed!

The match-up for 3rd and 4th place should be an interesting one to watch as well, with sprouts and SOFA KING GOOD battling it out.  Sprouts has four Weekly High Score Prizes this season, and has outscored SOFA KING GOOD by 55 points on the season.  However, over the last three weeks, SOFA KING GOOD is averaging 106 points per game, while sprouts is averaging 98.  So this game has the makings for a real nail-biter.  Remember that 3rd place wins $54 and 4th gets $36.

Well with the holiday season in full force and with family visits, caroling, ristra-making, etcetera, this is just a quick update.  But I would be remiss if I didn’t give out the Best Bench Award for this week.  After going all season without snagging a Best Bench Award, Shawn Martin has now made it two in a row!  With four roster moves, the Coors Light Drunk Guys could have improved their point total by 31 points.  J. Edelman for S. Smith (+17), M. Colston for E. Decker (+11), B. Pettigrew for J. Gresham (+2) and the Giants for the Patriots (+1).

Fifteen weeks gone by and only one left!  Who will take the crown this season?!?!

Money Round!!

The first round of the playoffs are done, so the teams that are remaining are in the money!  Remember that this season, top prize is $180, Runner-up gets $90, 3rd gets $54 and 4th gets $36.  So Timmy, Jason, James and Russ – even if you score 0 points from here on out, you’ve got more cash coming your way!

The big congrats this week go to American BadAss for finally putting it all together and snagging a Weekly High Score Prize!  Jason becomes the 8th person this year to take home a prize by scoring 133 points this week.  He did it the old-fashioned way by having solid performances throughout his line-up.  His lowest scoring player (Vincent Jackson) finished with 13 points and his highest scoring player (Ben Roethlis-something) finished with 23.  His only player to not score a touchdown (besides his kicker) was DeMarco Murray, but he ran for 146 yards to make up for it.  Even his Defense (Arizona) had a touchdown. And his kicker scored 17 points, thanks in part to a 64-yard field goal that sets the NFL record for longest ever.  That practically counts as scoring a touchdown!  All in all, that is just solid production and definitely what you want going into the playoffs.  Well done!!

Hard to believe that there are only two weeks left of the fantasy season… so let’s get to this!


BIG TIME
-Josh McCown, QB – Free Agent – 38 pts – When a team doesn't play defense, this sort of thing can happen.  McCown walked all over the Cowboys to the tune of 348 yards passing, 4 TD’s plus 16 yards rushing and a touchdown.

-LeSean McCoy, RB – Joe’s Pats – 36 pts – Philadelphia needs to have a snow machine installed in their stadium and play every game in 18 inches of the white stuff!  McCoy went off for 217 yards and 2 TD’s!

-Petyon Manning, QB – sprouts – 34 pts – Peyton is now so far ahead of all other players in scoring that he could probably sit out the next 3 weeks and still be the top dog.  He has 352 points and the next closest (Drew Brees) only has 293.  Manning is averaging, averaging!, 27.1 points per week.  That is just remarkable.

-Jason Campbell, QB – Free Agent – 32 pts – Clearly the Patriots did not view the Browns as a worthy opponent, because they did not seem at all prepared.  Campbell took advantage, throwing for 391 yards(!) and 3 TD’s and nearly pulling off a major upset.

-Andrew Luck, QB – Vandelay Industries – 32 pts – The Colts are such an enigma because they hardly even play in the first half, then come out like madmen in the second half.  The second half was where Luck did his damage in this one, throwing 326 yards and 4 TD’s.

-Kansas City, DEF – Channel 4 News Team – 32 pts – In the battle of the indians, Chiefs proved superior to Redskins.  The Chiefs D only gave up 10 points while recording 6 sacks, 2 turnovers and 2 TD’s.

-Jamaal Charles, RB – Channel 4 News Team – 30 pts – Charles is finally having that season that was supposed to happen half a decade ago because he has remained healthy.  He is currently tops among fantasy runningbacks, having tallied 228 points on the season.


REALLY?
-Mike Wallace, WR – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 1 pt – You would’ve thought Wallace would want to prove something going against his old teammates in Pittsburgh, but you would’ve thought wrong.  He struck out with only 19 yards on 2 catches.

-James Jones, WR – Midnight Maulers – 1 pt – After a promising start to the season and scoring 45 points in Weeks 2 – 5, Jones has not produced much.  He hasn’t even scored in double digits since that Week 5 game.

-T.Y. Hilton, WR – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – Targeted 5 times…2 catches… 7 yards.  That is an ugly stat line.

-David Akers, K – Joe’s Pats – -1 pts – For the first time since 1957 there was an NFL game where no points were registered by a kicker.  Akers lost a point here for missing a PAT.

NO POINTS FOR YOU!
As mentioned above, the Philly/Detroit game was the first game since 1957 in which no points were scored by a kicker.  The 1957 game ended 6-0.  As I was researching this, I came across a listing of professional football games in which there were no points scored at all.  The last time this happened was in 1943 when the New York Giants and Detroit Lions finished with a 0-0 tie.  WTF?!  Is that a soccer score?  I haven’t read the NFL’s new overtime rules in their entirety, but I would hope that it includes a stipulation that no game can ever, EVER, end with the score of 0-0.  Can you imagine sitting through a game that finishes with a 0-0 tie?  That would have to be the most boring game in history.  We’re talking 6th grade girl’s basketball boring.

But apparently back in the 1920’s and 30’s, people didn’t mind games finishing 0-0, because it happened 73 times!  No wonder they implemented the forward pass, people were falling asleep at these games.  Now check out the names of some of the teams involved in these games from back in the days of yore:  Rochester Jeffersons, Fort Wayne Friars, Detroit Heralds, Rochester Scalpers, Toledo Maroons, Dayton Triangles and, I kid you not, Washington Glee Club.  You had to feel really crappy about yourself if you played in a football game and lost to the Washington Glee Club.  (Side note – Do you think the PC crowd these days would go along with the “Scalpers” as a team mascot? LMAO!)


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”


BEST BENCH
With all the touchdowns that were scored this week, you would have thought that more points would have been left on the bench.  But this week’s Best Bench ties for the second lowest total of the season.  So without further adieu, the Week 14 winner of the Best Bench is… the Coors Light Drunk Guys!  Shawn could have improved his point total by a perfect 27 with only two roster moves:  M. Colston for S. Smith (+14) and B. Green-Ellis for S. Ridley (+13).


Two more chances to claim a High Score prize, and only two more weeks until we crown a champion!!!

Let the playoffs begin!

And the playoffs are set!  Going into this week only one playoff spot remained unfilled, with Joe’s Pats and my team fighting for it.  Joe’s Pats held the tie-breaker advantage based on the head-to-head record, so I needed a win over Midnight Maulers or a loss from Joe to make it in.  Joe’s Pats exploded this week, tying for the 3rd highest score in the league this season, so it all came down to Russell Wilson on Monday Night.  Luckily for me, Wilson played his best game of the season, throwing 3 touchdowns, and finishing with 28 points to give me a 3-point win over the Maulers!  After not making it to the big dance for the last two seasons, it feels good to be back!

Speaking of the playoffs, in Week 5 I made my predictions for which teams were going to make it in.  At that time, I predicted Channel 4 News Team, American BadAss, sprouts, Midnight Maulers, Butkus’ Dick and Vandelay Industries.  So I went 5 for 6, with my only miss being that Sofa King Good made it in instead of Vandelay Industries.  Next season, I should have all the bugs worked out and will accurately predict all six playoff teams by Week 5.  You heard it here.

Now before we go any further, the big congratulations this week go to Joe’s Pats, who racked up 133 points this week which ties two other teams this season for the 3rd highest single-week point total.  The most points scored in a single week this season was 140 in Week 6 by Channel 4 News Team.  Joe got there by having a massive game from Alshon Jeffery (39 pts), solid work from Tom Brady (23 pts) and Gronk (18 pts), and a surprising near shut-out from the Miami defense who scored 19 pts.  Well done Joe!  Joe’s Pats becomes the 7th different team to take home a Weekly High Score Prize this season.  Remember that all teams, including those that did not make it in to the playoffs, are still eligible to win the Weekly High Score Prizes for these last three weeks of the season.

Okay, let’s get to this!!


YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
-Eric Decker, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 44 pts – Wide receiver domination continues this season, led this week by Decker.  This is now the highest score ever from a wide receiver in Sacred Sundays history, breaking Andre Johnson’s record of only 4 weeks ago!  Decker had an absolutely astonishing game, racking up 174 yards and 4, yes 4!!! touchdowns.  Now that is just good!  (Side note – Decker’s production this week accounted for half of the Coors Light Drunk Guys points.  Not bad for a wide receiver…)

-Josh Gordon, WR – Sofa King Good – 41 pts – Gordon had the Jacksonville defense figured out as he went crazy for 261 yards and 2 TD’s.

-Alshon Jeffery, WR – Joe’s Pats – 39 pts – Three wide receivers as the top three point scorers this week?!  It’s a passing league these days!  Jeffery nearly matched Gordon’s total with 249 yards and 2 touchdowns.

-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 35 pts – Manning scores 35 points and he’s the fourth highest scoring player that week?  Things are weird this season.  But Manning continued his domination of the fantasy world by throwing for 403 yards and 5 TD’s.  He also had 2 interceptions which hurt his total this week.  But owing to the lackluster performance by Drew Brees this week, Manning is now the highest scorer in fantasy by 53 points (318 total points, with Brees second at 265).

-Russell Wilson, QB – Butkus’ Dick – 28 pts – What a performance for a second-year QB on Monday Night Football.  Wilson passed for 310 yards, 3 TD’s, 0 interceptions, and rushed for 47 yards while the Seahawks stomped the Saints.  He has compiled 213 points on the year, which is good enough for 6th overall.


COME ON MAN!
-Antonio Gates, TE – Vandelay Industries – 2 pts – Gates had 41 yards for the game, but lost a fumble costing him two points.  All told, this has not been his season, as he has only found the endzone three times all year.

-Martellus Bennett, TE – Butkus’ Dick – 1 pt – Only could muster 2 catches for 14 yards.

-Jordy Nelson, WR – Channel 4 News Team – 1 pt – Only could muster 2 catches for 14 yards.  Didn’t I just say that?

-Garrett Hartley, K – sprouts – 1 pt – The Saints were seriously outmatched in Seattle and so Hartley only saw the field three times… two kickoffs and one extra point.

-Jermaine Gresham, TE – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – Four times this season, Gresham has gone without scoring a point and hasn’t scored more than 8 in a single week.  This is the epitome of “Come on man!”.


JENS, YOU ARE ON THE CLOCK
With the regular season now concluded, we know how the bottom four teams rank for the season:
7 – Joe’s Pats
8 – Vandelay Industries
9 – Coors Light Drunk Guys
10 – BoomGoesTheDynamite
Going from 1st place to 10th place has never happened in Sacred Sundays history, but cheer up Jensy, you’ve got the first pick for 2014!  What do you know!?!?


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.


2013 REGULAR SEASON HIGHLIGHTS
Here are some stats from this year’s regular season:
Highest Single Player Weekly Score – 49 – Peyton Manning, Week 1

Highest Team Weekly Score – 140 – Channel 4 News Team, Week 6

Highest Overall Scoring Week – Week 1 – 991 total points scored

Largest Margin of Victory – 96 – Week 6 – Channel 4 News Team defeated BoomGoesTheDynamite 140-44

Number of times teams have scored over 100 points – 27

Number of times teams have scored over 100 points in a loss – 3

Highest Scoring Team – Channel 4 News Team – 1,304 pts

Most Scored Upon Team – Butkus’ Dick – 1,196 pts against

Most Waiver Moves – 25 – Joe’s Pats

Highest Best Bench – sprouts – 56 pts, Week 3

Lowest Best Bench – 20 – Sofa King Good, Week 8

Most Best Bench Awards – 3 – American BadAss, Weeks 2, 9 and 11


BEST BENCH
Going into this week only two teams have not been the recipient of the Best Bench Award for the week, the Coors Light Drunk Guys and Vandelay Industries.  That number has dwindled to only one, as this week’s Best Bench goes to… Vandelay Industries!!  Louis could have improved his point total by 29 points this week with three roster moves:  S. Jackson for D. Woodhead (+17), R. White for TY Hilton (+10) and D. Amendola for W. Welker (+2).  Pretty good run to go for 12 weeks without snagging one of these awards.


The battle for the championship has begun!!  Get your rosters ready for Week 1 of the playoffs!!

Last week of the regular season!

Sprouts nickname should be “Rollercoaster”.  Over the last three weeks, Russ’ team has averaged 100.3 points per week, but those points have come in quite the wide range.  He has gone from 127 to 64 to 110.  Up, down, up… could we see 55 points this coming week?   Regardless, Week 12 marked his fourth High Score Prize of season!!  Russ got massive production from his runningbacks, with Knowshon Moreno racking up 31 and Maurice Jones-Drew (yeah, remember that guy?) rattled off 20.  Well done sir!!

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I just have a quick update this week where we’ll go through the final playoff scenarios and give out one of the rarest awards of all… A Double Best Bench Award!  Woohoo!  You only see these about as often as you see a victory from BoomGoesTheDynamite.  HAHA!  What do you know?!?

But first, some observations…

BIG TIME

-Josh Gordon, WR – Sofa King Good – 32 pts – Gordon had a remarkable 17 targets and caught 14 of those for 237 yards and a touchdown.  The catches tied a Browns franchise record for most catches in a game.

-Knowshow Moreno, RB – sprouts – 31 pts – Russ has always seemed to manage big scores from Denver Broncos… when Peyton Manning only manages 12 in a week, Knowshon Moreno comes through with a massive performance, going for 224 yards and a touchdown.  This was Moreno’s biggest game of the season, but may have come at a cost as he was seen on crutches and in a walking boot after the game.

-Philip Rivers, QB – Vandelay Industries – 30 pts – Old Man Rivers can still get the job done, as he proved against the touch KC defense, going off for 392 yards and three touchdown passes!

-Jamaal Charles, RB – Channel 4 News Team – 27 pts – Charles has really lived up to his potential this season, as he is the top ranked RB in fantasy, now currently averaging 16.5 points per game.  We’ll see if he can do better than the 7 points he scored in their first meeting when the Chiefs have a rematch with the Broncos in Week 13.

COME ON, MAN!

-Cleveland, DEF – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – The Browns got no sacks, no turnovers, no touchdowns and gave up 27 points.  No, they weren’t playing the Broncos… this lackluster performance came against the Steelers.  Yuck.

-Kansas City, DEF -  Channel 4 News Team – 1 pt – After averaging 19.4 ppg in their first 7 games, the Chiefs D is only averaging 8.0 per game over their last four.

-Victor Cruz, WR – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 0 pts – Cruz actually caught two balls for 27 yards, but lost a fumble to negate that.  The best part was that he was held out of the endzone this week, so all of us were spared from watching salsa dancing.

-Brian Leonard, RB – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Leonard’s best game all season has been scoring 6 points (he’s done that twice), but has also been held scoreless four other times not counting this week.  So it can’t be too surprising that he finished with only 3 yards rushing and 3 yards receiving.  But it still sucks…

-Aaron Dobson, WR – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Dobson was only on the field for 2 plays after halftime after being in for 35 in the first half, yet he wasn’t on an injury report.  It’s hard to score points from the sideline.

-Eric Decker, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – On a cold night in New England, passing yards were hard to come by.  Especially so for Decker who only finished with one catch for 5 yards.

-Chicago, DEF – Midnight Maulers – -1 pts – The Bears D got used and abused by St. Louis, giving up 42 points and only recording 2 sacks.

PLAYOFFS!

The games this week settled quite a bit in the playoff picture.  Five teams are in for sure: Channel 4 News Team, sprouts, Sofa King Good, American BadAss and Midnight Maulers.  Three teams are out of contention: BoomGoesTheDynamite, Vandelay Industries and Coors Light Drunk Guys.  That leaves only two teams vying for the final wildcard spot:

Butkus’ Dick – WIN final game against Midnight Maulers, OR Joe’s Pats lose to Sofa King Good.

Joe’s Pats -  WIN final game against Sofa King Good PLUS Butkus’ Dick lose to Midnight Maulers.

For the divisional standings, it looks like the top seed in the South Division will be Channel 4 News Team.  Even if sprouts prevails in their head-to-head game this week, the News Team will still have a better divisional record, so will claim the top spot.  In the North Division, the top seed is still up for grabs between Sofa King Good and American BadAss.  If Sofa King Good wins, they will be the top seed… if they lose and American BadAss wins, BadAss will be the top seed.  The Maulers will go into the playoffs as a wildcard regardless of the outcome of games this week.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK

186,282 miles per second: It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!

BEST BENCH

For the first time since Week of 2011, and only the third time since I’ve been keeping track, we have a Double Best Bench!  That means that two teams could have improved point totals this week by 29 points, with three roster moves for each.  The two teams are…. Channel 4 News Team and Butkus’ Dick!  Timmy needed to swap A. Boldin for J. Nelson (+16), R. Mendenhall for B. Tate (+11) and A. Smith for C. Newton (+2).  I needed to change T. Austin for A. Johnson (+12), L. Fitzgerald for D. Bryant (+9) and M. Bennett for T. Gonzales (+8).  The unimind is alive and well.

Last week of the regular season coming up!  Hard to believe that we have already gotten this far…  Next week I’ll do a recap of this season’s milestonses.

Lastly…

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!  Eat plenty of turkey, and have an extra slice of pumpkin pie for me!  And if you are going to be traveling, be safe.

The King has Returned

At long last at runningback is the highest scoring player for a single week!  Only his name is not LeSean McCoy, or Adrian Peterson, or Jamaal Charles or Marshawn Lynch.  Heck, it’s not even Matt Forte or Chris Johnson.  The first runningback to lead all scorers for a single week is a gentleman by the name of Bobby Rainey.  Rainey is a runningback for the Buccaneers who is mainly getting his shot due to Doug Martin being out for the season.  And he definitely made the most of it this week going for 161 yards and 2 TD’s on the ground, along with a 4-yard catch for a TD!  In all he racked up 37 points this week, which is the highest single week production from any runningback.  I never would have guessed that it would have taken until Week 11 for a runningback to break one off... but fantasy football is strange like that.

Also strange is that last week’s high scorer (sprouts) only managed half the points that he scored a week ago.  The big congrats go to Sofa King Good who blew away everyone this week with 120 points!  The next closest was 92 points.  James did it with a huge game from Megatron (32 points) and Marshawn Lynch (23 points).   Sofa King Good is the sixth different team to take home a Weekly High Score Prize this season.  Well don Cap’n!!

So the big thing this week is the push to playoffs with only two games left!  Let’s get right to it!

PLAYOFFS?!  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!
Two teams are already in and have been for a while now.  Channel 4 News Team and sprouts are just playing to see who will be the South Division champion and be the top seed in the playoffs.  The News Team is in the driver’s seat in this race.

Two teams have also been eliminated from making the post-season.  Vandelay Industries and Coors Light Drunk Guys don’t have a path to get in as far as I can tell.  Because of the tie games that have happened, even if these two teams win out, and the other bubble teams lose out, they won’t be able to have a better overall record.  However, all teams are still eligible to win Weekly High Score Prizes.

The remaining six teams are all on the bubble, and still have a shot to make it in.  Here are some possible scenarios for these teams to qualify.  (There may be more scenarios than just these listed here…):
-Sofa King Good – Win one of next two games OR Lose both games Plus losses from Butkus’ Dick, American BadAss and Joe’s Pats and it will come down to tiebreakers.
-Midnight Maulers – Win one of next two games
-Butkus’ Dick – Win next two games, OR Win one game PLUS a loss by Joe’s Pats or American BadAss
-American BadAss – Win next two games, OR Win one game PLUS a loss by Butkus’ Dick or Joe’s Pats
-BoomGoesTheDynamite – Win next two games PLUS losses from Butkus’ Dick or American BadAss and Joe’s Pats
-Joe’s Pats – Win next two games PLUS losses from American BadAss and Butkus’ Dick and it will come down to tiebreakers.
Here is a refresher on the tie-breakers to determine final standings and playoff seeding:
For Divisional standings:
Overall record
Division record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip

For Wild Card spots:
Overall record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip


BEST BENCH
There has been one team to rack up more Best Benches this season than any other.  With his third Best Bench of the season, this week’s winner is…  American BadAss!!  Jason could have improved his point total by 39 points this week with three roster moves:  V. Jackson for P. Garcon (+19), G. Graham for J. Cameron (+15), and Broncos for Titans +5

Two weeks of regular season play left!  And this is the last week to contend with bye weeks…

Sprouts owns Week 10

The league is starting to become a two-team show!  Channel 4 News Team (version 2 now) and sprouts both have the impressive record of 8-2, with the next best teams only having 5 wins.  Timmy’s News Team is also the first and only team thus far to crack 1,000 total points for the season.  Well done guys!

The big congrats for Week 10 go to the aforementioned sprouts, who destroyed my team in the week’s biggest blowout.  Russ got big time performances from Peyton Manning (as always), and also got 49 points from his receiver duo of AJ Green (24 pts) and Brandon Marshall (25 pts).  Julius Thomas also pitched in a cool 15 points from the tight end position, giving sprouts 127 points for the week!  That marks the 3rd Weekly High Score Prize for Russ this season, and his 6th win in a row.  Nice job!

So just a quick update this week to talk about the playoffs and get ready for a push to the end of the regular season…

On with it!!


NICE!
-Tavon Austin, WR – Free Agent – 34 pts – What in Sam Hill is going on?  Again this week, the top scoring player (well, tied for top score) is a wide receiver.  Tavon Austin gets the honors this week, who while the Rams were humiliating the Colts caught passes for 138 yards and 2 TD’s, along with 172 return yards and 1 return TD.  (Btw – the highest scoring running back this week was Pierre Thomas who only notched 22 points.)
-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 34 pts – Brees is having quite a run, having scored over 30 points in 2 of his last 3 outings.  (33 pts in Week 8, 22 in Week 9).  However, he still trails Peyton for the total fantasy lead by 32 points.
-Rams, DEF – Sofa King Good – The Rams clobbered the Colts, in what has to be one of the biggest surprises of the season.  In all, they only allowed 8 points, got 3 sacks, 5 turnovers (4 interceptions, 1 fumble), and had 2 return TD’s (1 punt return, 1 off of a turnover).

-Demaryius Thomas, WR – American BadAss – 28 pts – Another wide receiver at the top of scoring!  Just a ho-hum game for Thomas, racking up 108 yards and 3 TD’s!
-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 27 pts – Mr. Manning is now averaging 28.6 points per game, with his lowest score being 13 points in Week 6.  Truly impressive.


COME ON MAN!
I’m only giving out one “Come on, man!” this week, and it goes to:
-Coors Light Drunk Guys – THREE players on their bye week in the starting line-up.  Shawn has apparently fallen asleep at the wheel as this is the second week in a row where the Drunk Guys have started a player who was on a bye.  You can’t score points if your players aren’t playing!!


PLAYOFFS?!  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!  PLAYOFFS?!?!
Hard to believe that it is already getting down to crunch time for playoffs, but with only 3 regular season games remaining, that is exactly where we find ourselves.  Here is a quick refresher on the playoffs:  the top six teams qualify; the top two in each division automatically qualify; the top team in each division gets a bye in the first round; the remaining two spots are awarded as wildcards; wildcards are not division dependent (i.e. the two wildcard teams could both come from the same division).  For a refresher on tie-breakers, refer to last week’s column.

So here is what we know about the playoffs:
ALREADY IN – Channel 4 News Team2 and sprouts.  Both with a record of 8-2, Timmy and Russ are merely playing to see who gets the top spot in the South Division.

IN CONTROL – American BadAss, Sofa King Good, Butkus’ Dick, Midnight Maulers.  These four teams just need to win the remainder of their games in order to qualify for the playoffs.

IN NEED OF HELP – Joe’s Pats, Vandelay Industries, Coors Light Drunk Guys, BoomGoesTheDynamite.  All four of these teams are still alive to make it in, but they will need to win out plus have losses by other teams (namely those in the “IN CONTROL” section).

Starting next week, I will go through the actual scenarios that need to happen for each team that has not qualified to make it in.  Best of luck to everyone!!

DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS
If you exclude quarterbacks, do you know who is the highest scoring player in Sacred Sundays?  Okay, kind of a trick question, because it is a group of players actually.  That distinction belongs to the Kansas City Chiefs, who have posted 164 points so far this season.  They have scored that many points, and lead all other non-quarterbacks, in spite of having a bye week this last week.  The next closest player is a tie between LeSean McCoy and Jamaal Charles who have scored 147 points so far.  The Chiefs D has had point totals of 27, 25, 21, 26 and 23 this season and average 18.2 per week.  That, my friends, is some Tenacious D.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer.


BEST BENCH
Shawn Martin and the Drunk Guys had lots of holes in their starting roster this week, owing to three players being on byes.  But he only had a 32-point improvement possibility, which wasn’t the highest for this week.  The Best Bench improvement this week was 36 points and it goes to… Sofa King Good!!  James only need two roster moves to achieve this one: Rams for Colts (+28 pts) and P. Thomas for L. Bell (+8 pts).


Here's to making a strong kick toward the playoffs!!

Week 9 magic!

The whole nine yards... A stitch in time saves nine... Dressed to the nines... There is something special about the number 9. (It is not as cool of a number as 27, but hey, not many things are…) Week 9 proved to be a magical week, with players scoring craptons of points, and the race to the playoffs heating up big time! More on that below...

This week my team finally lived up to all the preseason hype, and posted a super solid 138 points! That is the second highest total that we have seen all season. (Timmy posted 140 in Week 6). My team was boosted by Andre Johnson having a career day in basically the 1st half of his game. Johnson had all 3 of his touchdowns and all but 39 of his 229 yards in the first 2 quarters. Not bad for 30 minutes of work! I also got big games from Russell Wilson and Tony Gonzalez. Well done chaps! Let's keep that going for another couple weeks!!

This week I do a refresher on the playoff rules, put together the best free agent team of all time, and explore a paradigm shift that may be occurring in fantasy football right now.

Onward and upward!!


BIG TIME!
-Nick Foles, QB – Free Agent – 48 pts – Foles gets to notch his name in the NFL record books as only the 7th player to throw 7 touchdown passes in a game.  He made the Raiders secondary look like the Raiders.

-Andre Johnson, WR – Butkus’ Dick – 43 pts – Johnson had 229 yards and three touchdowns en route to the highest scoring game by a wide receiver in Sacred Sundays history.  This bested the 39 points put up by his brother Calvin from last week.

-Tom Brady, QB – Joe’s Pats – 36 pts – You know there was some ridiculousness going on when a quarterback has a game throwing for 432 yards and 4 touchdowns is not the best game for a quarterback that week.

-Chris Johnson, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 32 pts – Best performance by a runningback this season, going for 150 yards and 2 TD’s plus 20 yards receiving.  Johnson doubled his points from the last time he played (16 in Week 7, on a bye in Week 8), so he should get 64 next week.

-Riley Cooper, WR – Free Agent – 32 pts – Cooper had the game of his life, catching 3 TD’s and 139 yards.

-Case Keenum, QB – Free Agent – 31 pts – Keenum made a “case” to take over the starting job for the Texans.  Ok, that was bad, but his performance wasn’t, throwing for 350 yards and 3 TD’s.

-T.Y. Hilton, WR – Vandelay Industries – 30 pts – Another wide receiver with 3 TD’s this week?  Oh yeah!  Tyrone’s Youngin’ did that while racking up 121 yards.

-Zac Stacy, RB – American BadAss – 29 pts – Good game for the rookie, rushing for 127 yards and 2 TD’s, and adding 51 yards receiving.  That’ll do.


COME ON, MAN…
-Bernard Pierce, RB – sprouts – 1 pt – Pierce has only gained 33 yards on 18 carries over the last three games, so yeah, he’s not seeing much playing time.

-Vincent Jackson, WR – American BadAss – 1 pt – Nothing doing for V Jax this week against the Seahawks, with only 2 catches for 11 yards.

-Brandon Pettigrew, TE – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – Hard to have a guy score points for you when he’s on a bye…

-Jordan Cameron, TE – American BadAss – 0 pts – Only one catch for four yards this week.


FREE AGENT DOMINATION
Talk about the power of the un-wanteds.  Four of the top five quarterbacks in Week 9 were free agents: Nick Foles, PHI (48 pts), Case Keenum, HOU (31 pts), Ben Roethlisberger (29 pts) and Jason Campbell, CLE (24 pts);  two of the top four wide receivers were free agents: Riley Cooper, PHI (32 pts), Jerricho Cotchery, PIT (27 pts); the fourth ranked runningback was a free agent: Rashad Jennings, OAK (23 pts); and the top defense was a free agent: Miami (23 pts).  Just look at the free agent team I put together for this week:
QB: Nick Foles, PHI – 48 pts
RB: Rashad Jennings, OAK – 23 pts
RB: Darrel Young, WSH – 19 pts
WR: Riley Cooper, PHI – 32 pts
WR: Jerricho Cotchery, PIT – 27 pts
TE: Tim Wright, TB – 11 pts
K: Nick Folk, NYJ – 16 pts
DEF: Miami – 23 pts
GRAND TOTAL – 199 points!  Best Free Agent team ever!!


CHANGING PARADIGM
Wide receivers have been having some massive weeks lately.  Calvin Johnson led all scorers in Weeks 7 and 8, scoring 30 and 39 points… Antonio Brown was the top scorer in Week 3 with 34 points.  Vernon Davis, a Tight End, even led all scorers in Week 6 with 33 points!  So where are the runningbacks this season?  Thus far this year, no runningback has been top scorer in a week.  Quarterbacks have done it 5 times, wide receivers 3 times and tight ends once.

In the past, the conventional wisdom has always been to get a good runningback and a good quarterback because that is where your main points will come from.  I believe we are seeing a paradigm shift, where that might not be the only way to fantasy success.  A top notch quarterback is still going to deliver buckets of points each week, but more and more it’s the guys catching those balls that are becoming ever more valuable.  I don’t know if it’s due to runningback injuries, runningback by committee, or just the NFL going pass-wacky, but wide receivers have really closed the gap in terms of scoring production.  Looking at the Top 5 RB’s versus the Top 5 WR’s, we see only a point and a half difference in their weekly production (RB = 14.6 pts, WR = 13.1 pts), and it drops to only 1.1 points difference amongst the Top 10 at each position (RB = 13.1 pts, WR = 12.0 pts).  So the difference between a Top 10 runningback and a Top 10 wide receiver is only about a point per week.

But here’s the real difference… as mentioned earlier, wide receivers this season have provided the home run threat.  Amongst the Top 20 runningbacks, the highest weekly score has been 32 points put up by Chris Johnson this last week.  If you look at the Top 20 wide receivers, they have scored at or above 32 points 4 times this year.  Prior to Chris Johnson this week, the best week by a runningback was Week 2 when Marshawn Lynch scored 30.  The Top 20 wide receivers have scored at or above 30 nine times this season!  So wide receivers as a group are posting bigger totals than runningbacks.  My whole draft strategy might have to get revamped if this trend continues…

PLAYOFFS?!
There are four more weeks until the playoffs start.  Playoffs will begin in Week 14 and conclude in Week 16.  Here is a recap on the rules for getting into the playoffs, and the tie-breakers that will be used.  (The Yahoo! Fantasy Football site has their own set of tie-breakers, but we do not use those.  The tie-breakers for our league will be the ones listed here)
-Six teams qualify for the playoffs.  The top two teams from each division automatically qualify, the other two spots are wildcards and are not division specific (i.e. both wildcard teams can come from the same division).
For the divisional standings, here are the tie-breakers that determine the ranking:
                -Overall record
                -Divisional record
                -Head-to-head record
                -Points scored
                -Coin flip
For the wildcard standings, here are the tie-breakers that determine the ranking:
                -Overall record
                -Head-to-head record
                -Points scored
                -Coin flip
Other playoff notes:
-The two divisional winners will receive byes in the first round (Week 14) of the playoffs.
-Throughout the playoffs (Weeks 14-16), all teams are still eligible to win the Weekly High Score prize.
-The final standings at the end of the regular season will determine the final standings for teams in 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th place.  (Yahoo! does a playoff bracket with those teams, but it does not determine the final standings for those teams.)
-There are no tie games in the playoffs.  If there is a tie game in any playoff game prior to the Championship game, the higher seeded team will be declared the winner.  If there is a tie in the Championship game, the following tie-breakers will be used:
                1) Team with the highest scoring quarterback wins;
                2) Team with the highest scoring runningback wins;
                3) Team with the highest scoring wide receiver wins;
                4) If still tied at that point, co-Champions will be declared.
Starting next week, I’ll work on playoff scenarios to show how each team can still qualify.  As of right now, only one team is in for sure (SOFAKINGGOOD (formerly Channel 4 News Team)), and everyone else is still alive to make it in!


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t.


BEST BENCH
 Posting a low score doesn’t guarantee that a team will win the Best Bench, but it definitely leaves a lot of room for improvement.  This week’s winner proved that point to a T.  With a stout 51-point improvement possibility, the winner of the Best Bench for Week 9 is… American BadAss!!  That’s right, Jason could have improved his point total to 94 points with four roster moves: Z. Stacy for D. Murray (+25 pts), P. Garcon for V. Jackson (+19 pts), G. Graham for J. Cameron (+4 pts) and Titans for Saints (+3 pts).


Get ready for Week 10!  Next week playoff scenarios will begin…

At least there is something worth watching in Jacksonville...

Midterms!! Week 8

This was the best I could come up with for "Midnight Maulers"...

There are eight weeks down and we are at the halfway point of the season, which means only one thing… how in the hell is it Halloween already??!  Oh yeah, and it means that it is time for midterm grades!  Couple things to keep in mind about the grades given out here:  a) grades are on a curve, b) grades are 90% subjective, and c) the grades don’t factor in to the final standings.  Whichever team ends of winning the league receives a defacto “A+” come January.  So we’ll get to all the grades in just a bit.

First, big congratulations have to go out to Jamie & his Midnight Maulers for rocking it in Week 8 and taking

But this wasn't bad either...

home the Weekly High Score Prize!!  There was a Monday night surge from American BadAss, but Jamie held on to win his first prize of the season.  For the second time this season, the highest scoring team has had a player post zero points, yet still manage to bring home the bacon.  Timmy did it in Week 6 when Jimmy Graham had zero, and now Jamie did it in spite of Greg Jennings laying a goose egg.  Also, Midnight Maulers were the lowest scoring team of a week ago, and now are the top dog this week.  How about that for a turn around?!  Well done Jamie!!

We have quite a discrepancy between the North and South divisions.  In the South, there is SOFAKINGGOOD (formerly Channel 4 News Team) and sprouts, then there is everyone else.  In the North, there is only a game and a half that separates the top team (American BadAss) from the bottom team (Joe’s Pats).  But there are still five more weeks to go in the regular season, so nothing is settled yet!

Alright… let’s get on with this!


NOW THAT’S THE INSIDE STUFF!
-Calvin Johnson, WR – Channel 4 News Team (James) – 39 pts – Megatron scorched the Cowboys defense for 329 yards.  It is actually rather amazing with that many yards that he only crossed the goal line one time.  Even still, this ranks as the highest score ever recorded for a wide receiver in the Sacred Sundays league.  And not to put too fine of a point on this, but this marks two weeks in a row that Calvin Johnson has scored 30 points or more.  Last note on this one – Calvin Johnson’s 329 yards outgained 15 entire teams this week.

-Marvin Jones, WR – Free Agent – 36 pts – What in the? Who?  Talk about making the most of your opportunities… Marvin Jones is a wide receiver for the Bengals, and he was only in the game this last week for 19 snaps.  But in those 19 plays he tallied 122 yards and FOUR touchdowns!  Holy bejeezus!!
-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 33 pts – Brees breezed past the Buffalo defense to the tune of 332 yards and five touchdown tosses.

-Andy Dalton, QB – sprouts – 31 pts – 31 pts – Dalton had almost an identical stat line to Brees… 325 yards and five touchdowns.  Tossing a single interception was his only mistake.
-Matthew Stafford, QB – Midnight Maulers – 29 pts – The Cowboys pass defense was virtually non-existent as Stafford rang up 488 yards passing.  He did have 2 interceptions, but offset that with one TD passing and one TD rushing.

-Colin Kaepernick, QB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 27 pts – This game was out of hand real quick, as the 49ers absolutely stomped the hapless Jags.  Kaepernick got into the endzone twice on rushing plays which really helped his point total this week.

-Cam Newton, QB – SOFAKINGGOOD (Timmy) – 27 pts – After a dud of a week in Week 5 (6 points), Cam has gone for 30, 14 and now 27 points!  Good run!

COME ON, MAN!
-Tony Gonzalez, TE – Butkus’s Dick – 2 pts – I’m sure Tony is rethinking his decision to come back for one more season in the hopes of having a shot at playing in the Super Bowl.  Bet he wishes he could rejoin the Kansas City Chiefs.

-Chris Ivory, RB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 1 pt – Ivory is not used in the passing game, so when the Jets fell behind 14-0 in the first quarter, that pretty much ended his day.

-Anthony Fasano, TE – SOFAKINGGOOD (Timmy) – 1 pt – Even a limited Jimmy Graham is waaay better than a healthy Anthony Fasano.

-Danny Amendola, WR – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – Patriots went run heavy, so Amendola only managed 15 yards.  Not good.

-Darren Sproles, RB – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – Sproles caught 4 passes for zero yards.  How in the hell do you catch four catches for zero yards?!  His only point came from the fact that he had 51 return yards.

-Steven Jackson, RB – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – Here are a few excerpts from the post-game update on Jackson: “…he ran like a poor man’s Peyton Hillis.”  “…Slow would be an understatement.”  “…this was truly a pathetic performance.”  Ouch.  I wasn't even going to get that harsh.

-Marques Colston, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – Colston is having a very disappointing year.  He currently ranks as the 73rd wide receiver with only 30 points scored.  Eddie Royal has twice the amount of points and is a free agent in our league.

-Rueben Randle, WR – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Having a New York Giant on your team this season is a gamble.  Could be like Week 5 where Mr. Randle scored 21 points, or could be like this week where he became a ghost.

-Greg Jennings, WR – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Only one catch for 9 yards for Jennings this week.  The terrible QB situation in Minnesota has turned Jennings into nothing more than a low-end wide receiver.  He ranks as the 51st receiver in fantasy, and most of that is due to his big week in Week 4 when he rang up 21 points.  Week 4, coincidentally, is the last time he’s scored a touchdown.

-Michael Vick, QB – Joe’s Pats – -1 pts – As always, I don’t like to pile on when a player gets hurt, but an exception is made when they post a negative point total.  Vick’s points for this season look like an airplane that ran out of gas: 25, 37, 15, 13, 11, then -1.
 

NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE THE DAY…
As I was perusing the final scores for the week, I saw that Joe’s Pats did not have Tom Brady or his recent acquisition, Rob Gronkowski, in his starting line-up.  “Oh, the Patriots must’ve been on a bye this week”, I thought.  But then I realized, “No wait, they played against Miami!  What in the hell is going on?!?”  Sure enough, looking at Joe’s bench, there were Brady and Gronk just sitting there.  Never would I have thought I would see the day where a team named for the New England Patriots would not have Tom Brady at the helm… strange days, indeed.


MIDTERM GRADES
This is what everyone has been waiting for… I mean who doesn’t love to be judged?  So here is a brief explanation of factors that I looked at when coming up with these grades.  Of course I looked at overall records and points scored, but I also considered the production from keepers, quality of draft picks and any memorable transactions through the first half of the season.  After weighing all those factors, the final element was just an overall gut feeling.  So without further adieu… (and these are in a particular order):

SOFAKINGGOOD (Formerly Channel 4 News Team)
Owner – Timmy
Overall Record – 7-1
Total Points Scored – 861
Weekly Points From Keepers – 28.8
Notes – Selecting Jimmy Graham in the 3rd round was a genius move.  In spite of Graham missing a week due to injury, he is still the second highest scoring player amongst pass catchers (trailing only Calvin Johnson).  Timmy also gets big credit for being the highest scoring team in the league by 113 points.
Mid-term Grade – A+

American BadAss
Owner – Jason
Overall Record – 4-3-1

Total Points Scored – 748
Weekly Points From Keepers – 34.1
Notes – American BadAss did well by selecting Fred Jackson in the 14th round of the draft.  Jackson is the 9th ranked RB in fantasy, and is the highest scoring player from that round of the draft.  American BadAss also has the highest weekly production from keepers.
Mid-term Grade – A

sprouts
Owner – Russ
Overall Record – 6-2
Total Points Scored – 748
Weekly Points From Keepers – 28.8
Notes – Sprouts ranks 5th in terms of keeper production, but that production is only coming from one guy, Peyton Manning.  So that is very impressive, and was a wise move by Russ to keep him.  The one knock against sprouts is that they’ve been fortunate to have the fewest points scored against them this season, a trend that may or may not continue.
Mid-term Grade – A-

Butkus’ Dick
Owner – Jerry
Overall Record – 4-4
Total Points Scored – 705
Weekly Points from Keepers – 26.6
Notes – Selecting Dez Bryant over Julio Jones has turned out to be a very wise decision.  Also, the third most points have been scored against me, so to be at 4-4 is a nice achievement.
Mid-term Grade – B

Channel 4 News Team (formerly SOFA KING GOOD)
Owner – James
Overall Record – 4-3-1
Total Points Scored – 657
Weekly Points from Keepers – 29.3
Notes – James did not have a real successful draft, as 3rd and 4th round picks (Steven Jackson and Roddy White) have had terrible seasons thus far.  But he did turn those two picks into Matt Ryan, through a trade with Vandelay Industries.  Keeping Calvin Johnson was a wise decision.
Mid-term Grade – B

Coors Light Drunk Guys
Owner – Shawn
Overall Record – 3-5
Total Points Scored – 645
Weekly Points from Keepers – 33.0
Notes – The Drunk Guys have the second highest production from keepers, which is mostly due to having Drew Brees.  They have also had the 5th most points scored against them this season, which has contributed to the losing record.
Mid-term Grade – B-

Midnight Maulers
Owner – Jamie
Overall Record – 4-4
Total Points Scored – 685
Weekly Points from Keepers – 19.8
Notes – The Maulers have the lowest point production from keepers this season, as Greg Jennings has been non-existent this season.  Jamie’s biggest score was picking Matthew Stafford in the 5th round.
Mid-term Grade – C+

Joe’s Pats
Owner – Joe
Overall Record – 3-5
Total Points Scored – 638
Weekly Points from Keepers – 26.0
Notes – As the New England Patriots go, so goes Joe’s Pats.  This is the first time I can even remember a season where Tom Brady was not dominating.  He is currently the 22nd ranked QB in fantasy…even Terrelle Pryor and Geno Smith have outscored him.   Joe has unfortunately had the second highest points scored against him this season which makes it tough to garner wins.
Mid-term Grade – C

Vandelay Industries
Owner – Louis
Overall Record – 2-6
Total Points Scored – 684
Weekly Points from Keepers – 20.2
Notes – Vandelay Industries had a super successful draft, snagging Matt Forte in round 3, and Philip Rivers in round 15.  Rivers was an exceptionally good pick, as he is currently the 6th best quarterback in fantasy.  The biggest knock against Vandelay is the trade that was completed in Week 5, acquiring Steven Jackson and Roddy White…two players that have barely seen the field.  Maybe the second half of the season will prove this to be a better trade.
Grade – C

BoomGoesTheDynamite
Owner – Jens
Overall Record – 2-6
Total Points Scored – 585
Weekly Points from Keepers – 25.6
Notes – Boom has the double-whammy distinction of having scored the fewest points thus far, and having had the most points scored against him.  Also, Boom has been a two-time recipient of the Best Bench.  Two runningbacks that were selected have done nothing this season (David Wilson – 7th round, 16 pts; Michael Bush – 12th round, 8 pts).  So far, not a good year for the defending champ.
Grade – D


WHO’S THE WORST?
With Michael Vick posting a negative total this week, and Jay Cutler doing it last week, it got me wondering about the worst player in fantasy this season.  The lowest total for the season was at -2 points held by five different players until this last week.  Kirk Cousins posted -3 points when he came into the game for RG III.  Way to go Kirk!!  He accomplished this feat by only throwing for 48 yards, but having 2 interceptions.  These have been the only points that Cousins has scored all year, so by virtue of that, he is the worst player in fantasy.  
His game was pretty bad, but it was still nowhere close to the worst game ever in fantasy which was accomplished by John Skelton.  In Week 14 of last season, Skelton threw for only 74 yards and had 4 interceptions and 1 lost fumble for a grand total of -8 points.  Now that sucks.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.


BEST BENCH
There were not a lot of points left on the bench this week.  There were a couple teams that even had their optimal lineups in this week.  This week’s winner of the Best Bench is actually the lowest Best Bench of the season.  And that team is… Channel 4 News Team, formerly SOFA KING GOOD.  James could have improved his point total by only 20 points this week with two roster moves: J. Gordon for H. Nicks (+14) and P. Thomas for M. Lynch (+6).


Week 9 here we come!  Make your picks and get your teams ready!

Sprouts make it happen in Week 7!

Teams will always try to play their best when they’re going up against the defending champion.  That has never been more true than for the last two weeks as the high scoring team of the week has been whoever is playing BoomGoesTheDynamite.  Last week it was Timmy’s Channel 4 News Team, and this week it’s Russ’ sprouts!  Sprouts was the only team this week that managed to break the triple digit mark, led by the highest scoring QB in the league (Peyton Manning) and the highest scoring wide receiver (A.J. Green).  Manning and Green made up for weak performances from sprouts runningbacks, and led Russ to his second Weekly High Score Prize of the season!!  Well done sir!

As mentioned, BoomGoesTheDynamite has had a knack for bringing out the best in teams for the past two weeks.  In addition to playing the highest scoring team, Boom has also had the distinct honor of being on the losing side of the biggest blowouts for the past two weeks.  Ouch!  Coming up in Week 8, Boom faces Timmy’s Channel 4 News Team once again so there is a good chance that they will face the highest scoring team for three weeks in a row.  Jens is showing just how hard it is to repeat as champion.  Not since American BadAss did it in the 2007 & 2008 seasons has this feat been accomplished.

This week we saw the last undefeated team go down, as Timmy’s Channel 4 News Team (aka SOFAKINGGOOD) couldn’t handle Butkus’ Dick.  So the league record for best starting record stands at 6-0.  Speaking of the Channel 4 News Team and SOFA KING GOOD, if you were confused when you logged in on Sunday, you were not the only one.  Timmy and James decided to engage in an experiment to test whether it is the team name or the team players that bring victories.  So SOFA KING GOOD (this is James’ team with spaces between the words) became Channel 4 News Team, and Channel 4 News Team (Timmy’s team) became SOFAKINGGOOD (with no spaces).  The results of the experiment were clear – players don’t really matter…it’s all about the team name!!  Also this week we had our first tie game of the season, between American BadAss and SOFA KING GOOD (aka Channel 4 News Team).  Tie games can feel like a waste, but they always seem to have a way of coming into play on playoff qualification.  Last year American BadAss tied with BoomGoesTheDynamite and those two teams ended up playing in the Championship game.  Going back to 2007, the only season where there has not been a tie game was 2011.

Okay, let’s get to this!


THESE GUYS ARE GOOD
-Calvin Johnson, WR – SOFA KING GOOD – 30 pts – Calvin put the “Mega” in Megatron this week, going off for 155 yards and 2 TD’s.  Last week he looked slowed by the knee injury but this week he looked as good as new.

-Andrew Luck, QB – Vandelay Industries – 29 pts – Luck accounted for 4 total TD’s (3 passing, 1 rushing), as well as 257 total yards (228 passing, 29 rushing), on the way to defeating the previously unstoppable Denver Broncos.

-Andy Dalton, QB – Free Agent – 29 pts – Dalton seems to be hitting his stride, going for 24 points last week, and now 29 points this week.

-Matthew Stafford, QB – Midnight Maulers – 29 pts – Stafford attempted 51 passes on Sunday, and completed 28 of them.  He’s on pace to throw 34 touchdowns this season, 14 better than his total last year.

-Matt Forte, RB – Vandelay Industries – 28 pts – Forte didn’t rack up a ton of yards this week (91 rushing, 18 receiving), but found the endzone three times!!  That’ll do!

-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 28 pts – Even in a losing effort, this guy still wins.  All told, he threw for 386 yards and three TD’s.  Had he not thrown one interception, he would have been tied for the most points for the week.  Peyton still leads all scorers in fantasy, having scored 205 points so far, with the next closest player trailing by 60.  Yes, you read that right… Manning has 60 more points that the 2nd highest scoring player, Matthew Stafford, who has 145.  Peyton is averaging 29 points per week…only 25 players in the league have even scored 29 points in a single week.


COME ON MAN
-DeSean Jackson, WR – Channel 4 News Team – 2 pts – Jackson and his QB Nick Foles never seemed to be on the same page.  Foles would be rolling right, and Jackson would be running left or vice versa.  Should be good for Jackson to get Vick back this week.

-TY Hilton, WR – Vandelay Industries – 2 pts – Targeted 11 times, but only managed 2 catches.  Pretty well sums up his night.

-BenJarvus Green-Ellis, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – Law Firm is playing second fiddle to Giovani Bernard, and only managed to get 24 yards.

-Trent Richardson, RB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 1 pt – Quite the regression we’re seeing from Richardson, as he only managed 37 yards on 14 carries (2.6 avg) and lost a fumble.  Donald Brown looks like the better option among Colts runningbacks.

-Kenbrell Thompkins, WR – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – Tom Brady will be looking for one guy in the passing game now, and that guy’s name is Rob Gronkowski.  Pretty sure that Brady will forget that Thompkins even exists.

-Jay Cutler, QB – Midnight Maulers – -1 pt – I don’t normally highlight guys that scored low because they got injured in the game, but an exception is made when the score is in the negative territory.  And honestly, I can’t think of a more painful sounding injury than what Cutler suffered: “torn groin”.  The word “ouch” just doesn’t even come close to describing that one…


INJURY BUG COMETH
What a week for terrible injuries to big names:
-Sam Bradford, QB, STL – Torn ACL; out for season.
-Jay Cutler, QB, CHI – Torn groin; out 4-6 weeks.
-Lance Briggs, LB, CHI – Shoulder injury; out 4-6 weeks.
-Reggie Wayne, WR, IND – Torn ACL; out for season.
-Jermichael Finley, TE, GB – Neck injury; likely out for season.
-Doug Martin, RB, TB – Torn labrum; likely out for season.
I’m expecting quite a bit of activity on the waiver wire this week…


TRADE TRACKER
The cut-off date for completing trades this season is November 22nd, which is the Friday before Thanksgiving.  If you want to get any trading done, do it before that date!
To this point in the season there have been two trades: Vandelay Industries & SOFA KING GOOD and Butkus’ Dick & American BadAss.  Here is how those have worked out so far:

Week 5 Trade:
Vandelay Industries – Players received: Roddy White, WR, ATL; Darren Sproles, RB, NO; Steven Jackson, RB, ATL.
Total points since trade: 15 (5.00/week)
SOFA KING GOOD – Players received: Doug Martin, RB, TB; Matt Ryan, QB, ATL; Montee Ball, RB, DEN.
Total points since trade: 52 (17.33/week)
Winner so far: SOFA KING GOOD

Week 6 Trade:
Butkus’ Dick – Players received: Larry Fitzgerald, WR, ARI
Total points since trade: 16 (8.00/week)
American BadAss – Players received: Jordan Cameron, TE, CLE
Total points since trade: 17 (8.50/week)
Winner so far: American BadAss


OREGON – FUN WITH TAXPAYER MONEY
During the recent government shutdown, many federal workers that were furloughed applied for unemployment benefits.  Once these workers were reinstated, and back pay was granted, those in Washington (the state, not DC) were informed that they would have to pay back any unemployment money they received.  Not so in Oregon!  Oregon announced that the federal workers could keep their unemployment checks because, and I quote: “The federal workers didn’t know if they were going to get paid for the time they were furloughed.”  So these people got to have a week and a half off of work, got paid for it, didn’t have to use any leave time AND received unemployment checks.  They must be wishing for a government shutdown every other week.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality.


FOREVER (increasing) STAMPS
Pop quiz – Do you know the current price of a stamp?  Postage stamps used to have the denomination printed right on them, so it was easy to tell how much a stamp cost.  Now with the proliferation of the Forever Stamps, you never see the price of the stamp anymore, you just see “Forever”.  Forever Stamps were introduced in May 2007 along with an increase in postage from 39 cents to 41 cents.  At the time, and still to this day, Forever Stamps seem like a good deal for consumers because it was always a big hassle to have to get 1 cent or 2 cent stamps, and it was especially annoying to get a letter returned due to insufficient postage.  But I got to thinking about the flip side of the coin…

Since the introduction of the Forever Stamp, first class postage has increased four times to where it now stands at 46 cents.  (There’s your answer to the earlier question.)  Most likely you didn’t even notice that postage was increased in January of this year.  Part of this is surely due to the fact that people don’t mail letters nearly as often as in the past, but also it is surely in part due to the fact that we don’t see the price anymore!  Postage has been increased five times in the last 6 years, which is the most increases over any span of time since the Postal Service began in its current form in 1863.  Essentially what the Forever Stamp has done is give the Postal Service free reign on increasing postage, because no one sees or feels the change anymore.

So it is 46 cents to mail a letter these days.  But don’t get too locked in on that price because, you guessed it, postage rates will be going up again in January 2014 to 49 cents.  That will make it 6 increases in 7 years… 39 cents to 49 cents or a 25.6% increase since Forever Stamps hit the scene (not that anyone is noticing).


BEST BENCH
Having a player score in the negatives is always going to make you a candidate for Best Bench, especially when that player is your starting quarterback.  So the award for Best Bench in Week 7 goes to… the Midnight Maulers!  Jamie only need 3 roster moves to improve his point total by a solid 42 points!  M. Stafford for J. Cutler (+30 pts), S. Rice for A. Dodson (+8 pts) and C. Shorts for G. Jennings (+4 pts).


There are 6 teams on a bye week for Week 8, so make sure you get your roster set.  And bring your #2 pencil and answer sheet next week because it’s time for midterms!!