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| This was the best I could come up with for "Midnight Maulers"... |
First, big congratulations have to go out to Jamie & his Midnight Maulers for rocking it in Week 8 and taking
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| But this wasn't bad either... |
We have quite a discrepancy between the North and South divisions. In the South, there is SOFAKINGGOOD (formerly Channel 4 News Team) and sprouts, then there is everyone else. In the North, there is only a game and a half that separates the top team (American BadAss) from the bottom team (Joe’s Pats). But there are still five more weeks to go in the regular season, so nothing is settled yet!
Alright… let’s get on with this!
NOW THAT’S THE INSIDE STUFF!
-Calvin Johnson, WR – Channel 4 News Team (James) – 39 pts – Megatron scorched the Cowboys defense for 329 yards. It is actually rather amazing with that many yards that he only crossed the goal line one time. Even still, this ranks as the highest score ever recorded for a wide receiver in the Sacred Sundays league. And not to put too fine of a point on this, but this marks two weeks in a row that Calvin Johnson has scored 30 points or more. Last note on this one – Calvin Johnson’s 329 yards outgained 15 entire teams this week.
-Marvin Jones, WR – Free Agent – 36 pts – What in the? Who? Talk about making the most of your opportunities… Marvin Jones is a wide receiver for the Bengals, and he was only in the game this last week for 19 snaps. But in those 19 plays he tallied 122 yards and FOUR touchdowns! Holy bejeezus!!
-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 33 pts – Brees breezed past the Buffalo defense to the tune of 332 yards and five touchdown tosses.
-Andy Dalton, QB – sprouts – 31 pts – 31 pts – Dalton had almost an identical stat line to Brees… 325 yards and five touchdowns. Tossing a single interception was his only mistake.
-Matthew Stafford, QB – Midnight Maulers – 29 pts – The Cowboys pass defense was virtually non-existent as Stafford rang up 488 yards passing. He did have 2 interceptions, but offset that with one TD passing and one TD rushing.
-Colin Kaepernick, QB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 27 pts – This game was out of hand real quick, as the 49ers absolutely stomped the hapless Jags. Kaepernick got into the endzone twice on rushing plays which really helped his point total this week.
-Cam Newton, QB – SOFAKINGGOOD (Timmy) – 27 pts – After a dud of a week in Week 5 (6 points), Cam has gone for 30, 14 and now 27 points! Good run!
COME ON, MAN!
-Tony Gonzalez, TE – Butkus’s Dick – 2 pts – I’m sure Tony is rethinking his decision to come back for one more season in the hopes of having a shot at playing in the Super Bowl. Bet he wishes he could rejoin the Kansas City Chiefs.
-Chris Ivory, RB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 1 pt – Ivory is not used in the passing game, so when the Jets fell behind 14-0 in the first quarter, that pretty much ended his day.
-Anthony Fasano, TE – SOFAKINGGOOD (Timmy) – 1 pt – Even a limited Jimmy Graham is waaay better than a healthy Anthony Fasano.
-Danny Amendola, WR – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – Patriots went run heavy, so Amendola only managed 15 yards. Not good.
-Darren Sproles, RB – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – Sproles caught 4 passes for zero yards. How in the hell do you catch four catches for zero yards?! His only point came from the fact that he had 51 return yards.
-Steven Jackson, RB – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – Here are a few excerpts from the post-game update on Jackson: “…he ran like a poor man’s Peyton Hillis.” “…Slow would be an understatement.” “…this was truly a pathetic performance.” Ouch. I wasn't even going to get that harsh.
-Marques Colston, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – Colston is having a very disappointing year. He currently ranks as the 73rd wide receiver with only 30 points scored. Eddie Royal has twice the amount of points and is a free agent in our league.
-Rueben Randle, WR – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Having a New York Giant on your team this season is a gamble. Could be like Week 5 where Mr. Randle scored 21 points, or could be like this week where he became a ghost.
-Greg Jennings, WR – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Only one catch for 9 yards for Jennings this week. The terrible QB situation in Minnesota has turned Jennings into nothing more than a low-end wide receiver. He ranks as the 51st receiver in fantasy, and most of that is due to his big week in Week 4 when he rang up 21 points. Week 4, coincidentally, is the last time he’s scored a touchdown.
-Michael Vick, QB – Joe’s Pats – -1 pts – As always, I don’t like to pile on when a player gets hurt, but an exception is made when they post a negative point total. Vick’s points for this season look like an airplane that ran out of gas: 25, 37, 15, 13, 11, then -1.
NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE THE DAY…
As I was perusing the final scores for the week, I saw that Joe’s Pats did not have Tom Brady or his recent acquisition, Rob Gronkowski, in his starting line-up. “Oh, the Patriots must’ve been on a bye this week”, I thought. But then I realized, “No wait, they played against Miami! What in the hell is going on?!?” Sure enough, looking at Joe’s bench, there were Brady and Gronk just sitting there. Never would I have thought I would see the day where a team named for the New England Patriots would not have Tom Brady at the helm… strange days, indeed.
MIDTERM GRADES
This is what everyone has been waiting for… I mean who doesn’t love to be judged? So here is a brief explanation of factors that I looked at when coming up with these grades. Of course I looked at overall records and points scored, but I also considered the production from keepers, quality of draft picks and any memorable transactions through the first half of the season. After weighing all those factors, the final element was just an overall gut feeling. So without further adieu… (and these are in a particular order):
SOFAKINGGOOD (Formerly Channel 4 News Team)
Owner – Timmy
Overall Record – 7-1
Total Points Scored – 861
Weekly Points From Keepers – 28.8
Notes – Selecting Jimmy Graham in the 3rd round was a genius move. In spite of Graham missing a week due to injury, he is still the second highest scoring player amongst pass catchers (trailing only Calvin Johnson). Timmy also gets big credit for being the highest scoring team in the league by 113 points.
Mid-term Grade – A+
American BadAss
Owner – Jason
Overall Record – 4-3-1
Weekly Points From Keepers – 34.1
Notes – American BadAss did well by selecting Fred Jackson in the 14th round of the draft. Jackson is the 9th ranked RB in fantasy, and is the highest scoring player from that round of the draft. American BadAss also has the highest weekly production from keepers.
Mid-term Grade – A
sprouts
Owner – Russ
Overall Record – 6-2
Total Points Scored – 748
Weekly Points From Keepers – 28.8
Notes – Sprouts ranks 5th in terms of keeper production, but that production is only coming from one guy, Peyton Manning. So that is very impressive, and was a wise move by Russ to keep him. The one knock against sprouts is that they’ve been fortunate to have the fewest points scored against them this season, a trend that may or may not continue.
Mid-term Grade – A-
Butkus’ Dick
Owner – Jerry
Overall Record – 4-4
Total Points Scored – 705
Weekly Points from Keepers – 26.6
Notes – Selecting Dez Bryant over Julio Jones has turned out to be a very wise decision. Also, the third most points have been scored against me, so to be at 4-4 is a nice achievement.
Mid-term Grade – B
Channel 4 News Team (formerly SOFA KING GOOD)
Owner – James
Overall Record – 4-3-1
Total Points Scored – 657
Weekly Points from Keepers – 29.3
Notes – James did not have a real successful draft, as 3rd and 4th round picks (Steven Jackson and Roddy White) have had terrible seasons thus far. But he did turn those two picks into Matt Ryan, through a trade with Vandelay Industries. Keeping Calvin Johnson was a wise decision.
Mid-term Grade – B
Coors Light Drunk Guys
Owner – Shawn
Overall Record – 3-5
Total Points Scored – 645
Weekly Points from Keepers – 33.0
Notes – The Drunk Guys have the second highest production from keepers, which is mostly due to having Drew Brees. They have also had the 5th most points scored against them this season, which has contributed to the losing record.
Mid-term Grade – B-
Midnight Maulers
Owner – Jamie
Overall Record – 4-4
Total Points Scored – 685
Weekly Points from Keepers – 19.8
Notes – The Maulers have the lowest point production from keepers this season, as Greg Jennings has been non-existent this season. Jamie’s biggest score was picking Matthew Stafford in the 5th round.
Mid-term Grade – C+
Joe’s Pats
Owner – Joe
Overall Record – 3-5
Total Points Scored – 638
Weekly Points from Keepers – 26.0
Notes – As the New England Patriots go, so goes Joe’s Pats. This is the first time I can even remember a season where Tom Brady was not dominating. He is currently the 22nd ranked QB in fantasy…even Terrelle Pryor and Geno Smith have outscored him. Joe has unfortunately had the second highest points scored against him this season which makes it tough to garner wins.
Mid-term Grade – C
Vandelay Industries
Owner – Louis
Overall Record – 2-6
Total Points Scored – 684
Weekly Points from Keepers – 20.2
Notes – Vandelay Industries had a super successful draft, snagging Matt Forte in round 3, and Philip Rivers in round 15. Rivers was an exceptionally good pick, as he is currently the 6th best quarterback in fantasy. The biggest knock against Vandelay is the trade that was completed in Week 5, acquiring Steven Jackson and Roddy White…two players that have barely seen the field. Maybe the second half of the season will prove this to be a better trade.
Grade – C
BoomGoesTheDynamite
Owner – JensOverall Record – 2-6
Total Points Scored – 585
Weekly Points from Keepers – 25.6
Notes – Boom has the double-whammy distinction of having scored the fewest points thus far, and having had the most points scored against him. Also, Boom has been a two-time recipient of the Best Bench. Two runningbacks that were selected have done nothing this season (David Wilson – 7th round, 16 pts; Michael Bush – 12th round, 8 pts). So far, not a good year for the defending champ.
Grade – D
WHO’S THE WORST?
With Michael Vick posting a negative total this week, and Jay Cutler doing it last week, it got me wondering about the worst player in fantasy this season. The lowest total for the season was at -2 points held by five different players until this last week. Kirk Cousins posted -3 points when he came into the game for RG III. Way to go Kirk!! He accomplished this feat by only throwing for 48 yards, but having 2 interceptions. These have been the only points that Cousins has scored all year, so by virtue of that, he is the worst player in fantasy.
His game was pretty bad, but it was still nowhere close to the worst game ever in fantasy which was accomplished by John Skelton. In Week 14 of last season, Skelton threw for only 74 yards and had 4 interceptions and 1 lost fumble for a grand total of -8 points. Now that sucks.
ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
BEST BENCH
There were not a lot of points left on the bench this week. There were a couple teams that even had their optimal lineups in this week. This week’s winner of the Best Bench is actually the lowest Best Bench of the season. And that team is… Channel 4 News Team, formerly SOFA KING GOOD. James could have improved his point total by only 20 points this week with two roster moves: J. Gordon for H. Nicks (+14) and P. Thomas for M. Lynch (+6).
Week 9 here we come! Make your picks and get your teams ready!
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