Last week of the regular season!

Sprouts nickname should be “Rollercoaster”.  Over the last three weeks, Russ’ team has averaged 100.3 points per week, but those points have come in quite the wide range.  He has gone from 127 to 64 to 110.  Up, down, up… could we see 55 points this coming week?   Regardless, Week 12 marked his fourth High Score Prize of season!!  Russ got massive production from his runningbacks, with Knowshon Moreno racking up 31 and Maurice Jones-Drew (yeah, remember that guy?) rattled off 20.  Well done sir!!

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I just have a quick update this week where we’ll go through the final playoff scenarios and give out one of the rarest awards of all… A Double Best Bench Award!  Woohoo!  You only see these about as often as you see a victory from BoomGoesTheDynamite.  HAHA!  What do you know?!?

But first, some observations…

BIG TIME

-Josh Gordon, WR – Sofa King Good – 32 pts – Gordon had a remarkable 17 targets and caught 14 of those for 237 yards and a touchdown.  The catches tied a Browns franchise record for most catches in a game.

-Knowshow Moreno, RB – sprouts – 31 pts – Russ has always seemed to manage big scores from Denver Broncos… when Peyton Manning only manages 12 in a week, Knowshon Moreno comes through with a massive performance, going for 224 yards and a touchdown.  This was Moreno’s biggest game of the season, but may have come at a cost as he was seen on crutches and in a walking boot after the game.

-Philip Rivers, QB – Vandelay Industries – 30 pts – Old Man Rivers can still get the job done, as he proved against the touch KC defense, going off for 392 yards and three touchdown passes!

-Jamaal Charles, RB – Channel 4 News Team – 27 pts – Charles has really lived up to his potential this season, as he is the top ranked RB in fantasy, now currently averaging 16.5 points per game.  We’ll see if he can do better than the 7 points he scored in their first meeting when the Chiefs have a rematch with the Broncos in Week 13.

COME ON, MAN!

-Cleveland, DEF – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – The Browns got no sacks, no turnovers, no touchdowns and gave up 27 points.  No, they weren’t playing the Broncos… this lackluster performance came against the Steelers.  Yuck.

-Kansas City, DEF -  Channel 4 News Team – 1 pt – After averaging 19.4 ppg in their first 7 games, the Chiefs D is only averaging 8.0 per game over their last four.

-Victor Cruz, WR – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 0 pts – Cruz actually caught two balls for 27 yards, but lost a fumble to negate that.  The best part was that he was held out of the endzone this week, so all of us were spared from watching salsa dancing.

-Brian Leonard, RB – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Leonard’s best game all season has been scoring 6 points (he’s done that twice), but has also been held scoreless four other times not counting this week.  So it can’t be too surprising that he finished with only 3 yards rushing and 3 yards receiving.  But it still sucks…

-Aaron Dobson, WR – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Dobson was only on the field for 2 plays after halftime after being in for 35 in the first half, yet he wasn’t on an injury report.  It’s hard to score points from the sideline.

-Eric Decker, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – On a cold night in New England, passing yards were hard to come by.  Especially so for Decker who only finished with one catch for 5 yards.

-Chicago, DEF – Midnight Maulers – -1 pts – The Bears D got used and abused by St. Louis, giving up 42 points and only recording 2 sacks.

PLAYOFFS!

The games this week settled quite a bit in the playoff picture.  Five teams are in for sure: Channel 4 News Team, sprouts, Sofa King Good, American BadAss and Midnight Maulers.  Three teams are out of contention: BoomGoesTheDynamite, Vandelay Industries and Coors Light Drunk Guys.  That leaves only two teams vying for the final wildcard spot:

Butkus’ Dick – WIN final game against Midnight Maulers, OR Joe’s Pats lose to Sofa King Good.

Joe’s Pats -  WIN final game against Sofa King Good PLUS Butkus’ Dick lose to Midnight Maulers.

For the divisional standings, it looks like the top seed in the South Division will be Channel 4 News Team.  Even if sprouts prevails in their head-to-head game this week, the News Team will still have a better divisional record, so will claim the top spot.  In the North Division, the top seed is still up for grabs between Sofa King Good and American BadAss.  If Sofa King Good wins, they will be the top seed… if they lose and American BadAss wins, BadAss will be the top seed.  The Maulers will go into the playoffs as a wildcard regardless of the outcome of games this week.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK

186,282 miles per second: It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!

BEST BENCH

For the first time since Week of 2011, and only the third time since I’ve been keeping track, we have a Double Best Bench!  That means that two teams could have improved point totals this week by 29 points, with three roster moves for each.  The two teams are…. Channel 4 News Team and Butkus’ Dick!  Timmy needed to swap A. Boldin for J. Nelson (+16), R. Mendenhall for B. Tate (+11) and A. Smith for C. Newton (+2).  I needed to change T. Austin for A. Johnson (+12), L. Fitzgerald for D. Bryant (+9) and M. Bennett for T. Gonzales (+8).  The unimind is alive and well.

Last week of the regular season coming up!  Hard to believe that we have already gotten this far…  Next week I’ll do a recap of this season’s milestonses.

Lastly…

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!  Eat plenty of turkey, and have an extra slice of pumpkin pie for me!  And if you are going to be traveling, be safe.