Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Sprouts owns Week 10


The league is starting to become a two-team show!  Channel 4 News Team (version 2 now) and sprouts both have the impressive record of 8-2, with the next best teams only having 5 wins.  Timmy’s News Team is also the first and only team thus far to crack 1,000 total points for the season.  Well done guys!

The big congrats for Week 10 go to the aforementioned sprouts, who destroyed my team in the week’s biggest blowout.  Russ got big time performances from Peyton Manning (as always), and also got 49 points from his receiver duo of AJ Green (24 pts) and Brandon Marshall (25 pts).  Julius Thomas also pitched in a cool 15 points from the tight end position, giving sprouts 127 points for the week!  That marks the 3rd Weekly High Score Prize for Russ this season, and his 6th win in a row.  Nice job!

So just a quick update this week to talk about the playoffs and get ready for a push to the end of the regular season…

On with it!!


NICE!
-Tavon Austin, WR – Free Agent – 34 pts – What in Sam Hill is going on?  Again this week, the top scoring player (well, tied for top score) is a wide receiver.  Tavon Austin gets the honors this week, who while the Rams were humiliating the Colts caught passes for 138 yards and 2 TD’s, along with 172 return yards and 1 return TD.  (Btw – the highest scoring running back this week was Pierre Thomas who only notched 22 points.)
-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 34 pts – Brees is having quite a run, having scored over 30 points in 2 of his last 3 outings.  (33 pts in Week 8, 22 in Week 9).  However, he still trails Peyton for the total fantasy lead by 32 points.
-Rams, DEF – Sofa King Good – The Rams clobbered the Colts, in what has to be one of the biggest surprises of the season.  In all, they only allowed 8 points, got 3 sacks, 5 turnovers (4 interceptions, 1 fumble), and had 2 return TD’s (1 punt return, 1 off of a turnover).
-Demaryius Thomas, WR – American BadAss – 28 pts – Another wide receiver at the top of scoring!  Just a ho-hum game for Thomas, racking up 108 yards and 3 TD’s!
-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 27 pts – Mr. Manning is now averaging 28.6 points per game, with his lowest score being 13 points in Week 6.  Truly impressive.


COME ON MAN!
I’m only giving out one “Come on, man!” this week, and it goes to:
-Coors Light Drunk Guys – THREE players on their bye week in the starting line-up.  Shawn has apparently fallen asleep at the wheel as this is the second week in a row where the Drunk Guys have started a player who was on a bye.  You can’t score points if your players aren’t playing!!


PLAYOFFS?!  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!  PLAYOFFS?!?!
Hard to believe that it is already getting down to crunch time for playoffs, but with only 3 regular season games remaining, that is exactly where we find ourselves.  Here is a quick refresher on the playoffs:  the top six teams qualify; the top two in each division automatically qualify; the top team in each division gets a bye in the first round; the remaining two spots are awarded as wildcards; wildcards are not division dependent (i.e. the two wildcard teams could both come from the same division).  For a refresher on tie-breakers, refer to last week’s column.

So here is what we know about the playoffs:
ALREADY IN – Channel 4 News Team2 and sprouts.  Both with a record of 8-2, Timmy and Russ are merely playing to see who gets the top spot in the South Division.

IN CONTROL – American BadAss, Sofa King Good, Butkus’ Dick, Midnight Maulers.  These four teams just need to win the remainder of their games in order to qualify for the playoffs.

IN NEED OF HELP – Joe’s Pats, Vandelay Industries, Coors Light Drunk Guys, BoomGoesTheDynamite.  All four of these teams are still alive to make it in, but they will need to win out plus have losses by other teams (namely those in the “IN CONTROL” section).

Starting next week, I will go through the actual scenarios that need to happen for each team that has not qualified to make it in.  Best of luck to everyone!!


DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS
If you exclude quarterbacks, do you know who is the highest scoring player in Sacred Sundays?  Okay, kind of a trick question, because it is a group of players actually.  That distinction belongs to the Kansas City Chiefs, who have posted 164 points so far this season.  They have scored that many points, and lead all other non-quarterbacks, in spite of having a bye week this last week.  The next closest player is a tie between LeSean McCoy and Jamaal Charles who have scored 147 points so far.  The Chiefs D has had point totals of 27, 25, 21, 26 and 23 this season and average 18.2 per week.  That, my friends, is some Tenacious D.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer.


BEST BENCH
Shawn Martin and the Drunk Guys had lots of holes in their starting roster this week, owing to three players being on byes.  But he only had a 32-point improvement possibility, which wasn’t the highest for this week.  The Best Bench improvement this week was 36 points and it goes to… Sofa King Good!!  James only need two roster moves to achieve this one: Rams for Colts (+28 pts) and P. Thomas for L. Bell (+8 pts).


Here's to making a strong kick toward the playoffs!!


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