American BadAss Reigns!

American BadAss is the top dog once again!  Jason claimed his 4th Sacred Sundays Championship with an unlikely victory over Channel 4 News Team.  I say unlikely because the News Team had been dominant all season, averaging 102 points per game for the whole season, and having scored 125 and 149 points in the two weeks leading up to the Championship game.  Things just didn’t go right for Timmy in the Championship, as the News Boys only managed 55 points which was their lowest total all season.  But things couldn’t have been any better for Jason as he won the championship game and claimed the final Weekly High Score Prize of the season!  Once again he did it with solid performance all-around, with three players scoring over 20 points, and all but his tight end posting double digits.  Nice job bro!

American BadAss won championships in 2004, 2007 and 2008 prior to this season.  In 2011, they finished 3rd, last year they finished 2nd, and now this year it’s back on top.  Although there was that five year gap between championships, this is as close to a dynasty as we have in Sacred Sundays history.  If American BadAss finishes in the top three for 2014, I will officially bestow that title and refer to American BadAss as “The American BadAss Dynasty” going forward.

It is truly amazing how quickly 16 weeks can fly by…  it has been a blast once again!  And for the first time ever I have managed to get a write-up posted every single week this season!  How about that?!  So here we go for one final time…


BIG YEAR
-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 404 pts – To say that Peyton had a good year, would be an understatement.  To say he had a phenomenal year might not even do it justice.  This one has to go down as a legendary year.  Last season’s top scorer was Drew Brees who put up 323 points, and Manning blew that out of the water.    He averaged nearly 27 points per game this year and scored over 30 points 5 times.  That is how you get it done!

-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 326 pts – Call him Captain Consistency!  As mentioned above, he posted 323 points last season and now 326.  Were it not for Manning’s ridiculous year, Brees would have been the best in fantasy for two years in a row.  Still, finishing in 2nd place is pretty freaking good.

-Jamaal Charles, RB – Channel 4 News Team – 301 pts – Look at what this guy can do when he stays healthy all season!  Charles gets the extra nod this season for being the player to score the most points in a single game when he racked up 54 in Week 15.  Nice work!  (Side note – no runningback broke 300 points last season, so this is quite an achievement).

-Matt Stafford, QB – Midnight Maulers – 269 pts – In spite of struggling at times, Stafford still had a great season finishing with 10 points more than he did last year.

-Philip Rivers, QB – Vandelay Industries – 269 pts – Out of nowhere, Rivers had an awesome season and finished tied for fourth highest scoring player in fantasy.  He increased his production from last year by 42% (189 to 269 points).  I honestly thought Louis was crazy for drafting this guy, but that pick really paid dividends.

-Kansas City Defense, DEF – Channel 4 News Team – 234 pts – The KC defense was on an absolute tear through the first 9 weeks, averaging over 18 points per game, and on pace to score 290 points.  Unfortunately, they only averaged 11 points after their Week 10 bye, but still finished as the top defense.

-Josh Gordon, WR – Sofa King Good – 222 pts – Can you believe that this guy was the top scoring wide receiver in fantasy this season?  Dude wasn’t even drafted, and didn’t even score a point until Week 3!  He ended up ranked 19th out of all fantasy players.

-Jimmy Graham, TE – Channel 4 News Team – 201 pts – Jimmy Graham was to tight ends what Peyton Manning was to quarterbacks this season.  There was Graham, then 52 points later there was the second place guy (Vernon Davis).

-Stephen Gostkowski, K – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 164 pts – Gotta give a little love to the top scoring kicker.  Gostkowski averaged 10.9 points per game, never scoring less than 7 in any given week.  He actually finished as the 48th highest scoring player this season, which was better than Andre Johnson, Reggie Bush, Eli Manning, and Aaron Rodgers.


EVERYONE NEEDS MONEY, THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT MONEY
Here is the final prize money tally for 2013:
1) Timmy – Channel 4 News Team - $290 – Runner-up plus 5 Weekly High Score Prizes (Weeks 2, 3, 4, 6, 15)
2) Jason – American BadAss – $260 – Champion plus 2 Weekly High Score Prizes (Weeks 14, 16)
3) Russ – sprouts - $214 – Third place plus 4 Weekly High Score Prizes (Weeks 1, 7, 10, 12)
4) James – Sofa King Good - $76 – Fourth place plus 1 Weekly High Score Prize (Week 11)
5) Louis – Vandelay Industries - $40 – 1 Weekly High Score Prize (Week 5)
6) Jamie – Midnight Maulers - $40 – 1 Weekly High Score Prize (Week 8)
7) Joe – Joe’s Pats - $40 – 1 Weekly High Score Prize (Week 13)
8) Jerry – Butkus’ Dick - $40 –1 Weekly High Score Prize(Week 9)

Well done everyone!!


KEEPERS FOR 2014
Once again this year, each team will be able to keep two players from this season’s final roster for next season.  Players that are kept will count as the draft pick in next year’s draft where they were picked in 2013.  Players that were keepers in 2013 will count as a first round draft pick for 2014.  Players that were claimed off waivers or picked up as a free agent will count as a 15th round pick.  I will send out a separate email to everyone with the final rosters for 2013 along with the keeper costs for each player.

The draft order for 2014 will be the reverse of the final standings for 2013.  So the draft order will be:
1)      BoomGoesTheDynamite – Jens
2)      Coors Light Drunk Guys – Shawn
3)      Vandelay Industries – Louis
4)      Joe’s Pats – Joe
5)      Midnight Maulers – Jamie
6)      Butkus’ Dick – Jerry
7)      Sofa King Good – James
8)      sprouts – Russ
9)      Channel 4 News Team – Timmy
10)   American BadAss – Jason

Keepers will need to be declared about a week after the NFL draft, which usually falls around the end of April.  I will send out emails as we get closer to that date.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realize you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.”


BONUS ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish.


BEST BENCH
Before awarding the final Best Bench Award for the season, I want to recap a few Best Bench stats for the season…
Team with the Most Best Bench Awards – American BadAss (3)
Team with the Highest Best Bench – sprouts (56)
Team with the Lowest Best Bench – Sofa King Good (20)
Team that went the longest without getting a Best Bench – Coors Light Drunk Guys (Week 14)

Now, without further adieu, the winner of the Week 16 Best Bench Award is… the Channel 4 News Team!  Timmy could have improved his point total this week with only 2 roster moves: D. Brown for D. Johnson (+20 pts) and A. Boldin for D. Jackson (+10 pts).


So that be it for this season!  Thanks again to all of you guys for making the season so much fun!  I’m honestly not sure I would do with my down time at work if I didn't have fantasy football… I might have to do actual work.  Banish the thought!

And for those of you who won money, I’ll send separate emails to confirm that I have your correct address and will get checks sent out this week.

Happy New Year!!!

And then there were two...

It is Championship time!!  Just like last season, the top two seeds will be facing off for the Sacred Sundays title this year.  Last year, American BadAss went in as the top seed and fell to BoomGoesTheDynamite, who was seeded second.  This season, Channel 4 News Team goes in as top dog after an unprecendented regular season, (no team has ever finished at 11-2), and through 15 weeks of play have scored 163 more total points than the next closest team!  That has to be some kind of record!

Speaking of records, this past week Channel 4 News Team set the record for the highest score ever posted in a game in Sacred Sundays history.  The prior record of 148 had been achieved twice, most recently in Week 14 of 2012 by BoomGoesTheDynamite.  Timmy did one better than that this week, finishing with 149 points, courtesy of another record…a single player record for most points in a week.  Jamaal Charles tied the single game record of 54 points (Doug Martin did it last year in Week 9), by gaining 195 receiving yards, 20 rushing yards and 5 total touchdowns!!  Tim-Tim also sets a record this week for most Weekly High Score Prizes won in a season by being the highest for the FIFTH time this year!  Last note on the News Team – had Tim had in his optimal roster, he would have finished with 173 points!  That would have only required changing Alex Smith for Cam Newton and Rashard Mendenhall for Ben Tate.  I don’t think I have ever seen a possible score that high.  Well done Timmy!  Well done indeed!

The match-up for 3rd and 4th place should be an interesting one to watch as well, with sprouts and SOFA KING GOOD battling it out.  Sprouts has four Weekly High Score Prizes this season, and has outscored SOFA KING GOOD by 55 points on the season.  However, over the last three weeks, SOFA KING GOOD is averaging 106 points per game, while sprouts is averaging 98.  So this game has the makings for a real nail-biter.  Remember that 3rd place wins $54 and 4th gets $36.

Well with the holiday season in full force and with family visits, caroling, ristra-making, etcetera, this is just a quick update.  But I would be remiss if I didn’t give out the Best Bench Award for this week.  After going all season without snagging a Best Bench Award, Shawn Martin has now made it two in a row!  With four roster moves, the Coors Light Drunk Guys could have improved their point total by 31 points.  J. Edelman for S. Smith (+17), M. Colston for E. Decker (+11), B. Pettigrew for J. Gresham (+2) and the Giants for the Patriots (+1).

Fifteen weeks gone by and only one left!  Who will take the crown this season?!?!

Money Round!!

The first round of the playoffs are done, so the teams that are remaining are in the money!  Remember that this season, top prize is $180, Runner-up gets $90, 3rd gets $54 and 4th gets $36.  So Timmy, Jason, James and Russ – even if you score 0 points from here on out, you’ve got more cash coming your way!

The big congrats this week go to American BadAss for finally putting it all together and snagging a Weekly High Score Prize!  Jason becomes the 8th person this year to take home a prize by scoring 133 points this week.  He did it the old-fashioned way by having solid performances throughout his line-up.  His lowest scoring player (Vincent Jackson) finished with 13 points and his highest scoring player (Ben Roethlis-something) finished with 23.  His only player to not score a touchdown (besides his kicker) was DeMarco Murray, but he ran for 146 yards to make up for it.  Even his Defense (Arizona) had a touchdown. And his kicker scored 17 points, thanks in part to a 64-yard field goal that sets the NFL record for longest ever.  That practically counts as scoring a touchdown!  All in all, that is just solid production and definitely what you want going into the playoffs.  Well done!!

Hard to believe that there are only two weeks left of the fantasy season… so let’s get to this!


BIG TIME
-Josh McCown, QB – Free Agent – 38 pts – When a team doesn't play defense, this sort of thing can happen.  McCown walked all over the Cowboys to the tune of 348 yards passing, 4 TD’s plus 16 yards rushing and a touchdown.

-LeSean McCoy, RB – Joe’s Pats – 36 pts – Philadelphia needs to have a snow machine installed in their stadium and play every game in 18 inches of the white stuff!  McCoy went off for 217 yards and 2 TD’s!

-Petyon Manning, QB – sprouts – 34 pts – Peyton is now so far ahead of all other players in scoring that he could probably sit out the next 3 weeks and still be the top dog.  He has 352 points and the next closest (Drew Brees) only has 293.  Manning is averaging, averaging!, 27.1 points per week.  That is just remarkable.

-Jason Campbell, QB – Free Agent – 32 pts – Clearly the Patriots did not view the Browns as a worthy opponent, because they did not seem at all prepared.  Campbell took advantage, throwing for 391 yards(!) and 3 TD’s and nearly pulling off a major upset.

-Andrew Luck, QB – Vandelay Industries – 32 pts – The Colts are such an enigma because they hardly even play in the first half, then come out like madmen in the second half.  The second half was where Luck did his damage in this one, throwing 326 yards and 4 TD’s.

-Kansas City, DEF – Channel 4 News Team – 32 pts – In the battle of the indians, Chiefs proved superior to Redskins.  The Chiefs D only gave up 10 points while recording 6 sacks, 2 turnovers and 2 TD’s.

-Jamaal Charles, RB – Channel 4 News Team – 30 pts – Charles is finally having that season that was supposed to happen half a decade ago because he has remained healthy.  He is currently tops among fantasy runningbacks, having tallied 228 points on the season.


REALLY?
-Mike Wallace, WR – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 1 pt – You would’ve thought Wallace would want to prove something going against his old teammates in Pittsburgh, but you would’ve thought wrong.  He struck out with only 19 yards on 2 catches.

-James Jones, WR – Midnight Maulers – 1 pt – After a promising start to the season and scoring 45 points in Weeks 2 – 5, Jones has not produced much.  He hasn’t even scored in double digits since that Week 5 game.

-T.Y. Hilton, WR – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – Targeted 5 times…2 catches… 7 yards.  That is an ugly stat line.

-David Akers, K – Joe’s Pats – -1 pts – For the first time since 1957 there was an NFL game where no points were registered by a kicker.  Akers lost a point here for missing a PAT.

NO POINTS FOR YOU!
As mentioned above, the Philly/Detroit game was the first game since 1957 in which no points were scored by a kicker.  The 1957 game ended 6-0.  As I was researching this, I came across a listing of professional football games in which there were no points scored at all.  The last time this happened was in 1943 when the New York Giants and Detroit Lions finished with a 0-0 tie.  WTF?!  Is that a soccer score?  I haven’t read the NFL’s new overtime rules in their entirety, but I would hope that it includes a stipulation that no game can ever, EVER, end with the score of 0-0.  Can you imagine sitting through a game that finishes with a 0-0 tie?  That would have to be the most boring game in history.  We’re talking 6th grade girl’s basketball boring.

But apparently back in the 1920’s and 30’s, people didn’t mind games finishing 0-0, because it happened 73 times!  No wonder they implemented the forward pass, people were falling asleep at these games.  Now check out the names of some of the teams involved in these games from back in the days of yore:  Rochester Jeffersons, Fort Wayne Friars, Detroit Heralds, Rochester Scalpers, Toledo Maroons, Dayton Triangles and, I kid you not, Washington Glee Club.  You had to feel really crappy about yourself if you played in a football game and lost to the Washington Glee Club.  (Side note – Do you think the PC crowd these days would go along with the “Scalpers” as a team mascot? LMAO!)


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”


BEST BENCH
With all the touchdowns that were scored this week, you would have thought that more points would have been left on the bench.  But this week’s Best Bench ties for the second lowest total of the season.  So without further adieu, the Week 14 winner of the Best Bench is… the Coors Light Drunk Guys!  Shawn could have improved his point total by a perfect 27 with only two roster moves:  M. Colston for S. Smith (+14) and B. Green-Ellis for S. Ridley (+13).


Two more chances to claim a High Score prize, and only two more weeks until we crown a champion!!!

Let the playoffs begin!

And the playoffs are set!  Going into this week only one playoff spot remained unfilled, with Joe’s Pats and my team fighting for it.  Joe’s Pats held the tie-breaker advantage based on the head-to-head record, so I needed a win over Midnight Maulers or a loss from Joe to make it in.  Joe’s Pats exploded this week, tying for the 3rd highest score in the league this season, so it all came down to Russell Wilson on Monday Night.  Luckily for me, Wilson played his best game of the season, throwing 3 touchdowns, and finishing with 28 points to give me a 3-point win over the Maulers!  After not making it to the big dance for the last two seasons, it feels good to be back!

Speaking of the playoffs, in Week 5 I made my predictions for which teams were going to make it in.  At that time, I predicted Channel 4 News Team, American BadAss, sprouts, Midnight Maulers, Butkus’ Dick and Vandelay Industries.  So I went 5 for 6, with my only miss being that Sofa King Good made it in instead of Vandelay Industries.  Next season, I should have all the bugs worked out and will accurately predict all six playoff teams by Week 5.  You heard it here.

Now before we go any further, the big congratulations this week go to Joe’s Pats, who racked up 133 points this week which ties two other teams this season for the 3rd highest single-week point total.  The most points scored in a single week this season was 140 in Week 6 by Channel 4 News Team.  Joe got there by having a massive game from Alshon Jeffery (39 pts), solid work from Tom Brady (23 pts) and Gronk (18 pts), and a surprising near shut-out from the Miami defense who scored 19 pts.  Well done Joe!  Joe’s Pats becomes the 7th different team to take home a Weekly High Score Prize this season.  Remember that all teams, including those that did not make it in to the playoffs, are still eligible to win the Weekly High Score Prizes for these last three weeks of the season.

Okay, let’s get to this!!


YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
-Eric Decker, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 44 pts – Wide receiver domination continues this season, led this week by Decker.  This is now the highest score ever from a wide receiver in Sacred Sundays history, breaking Andre Johnson’s record of only 4 weeks ago!  Decker had an absolutely astonishing game, racking up 174 yards and 4, yes 4!!! touchdowns.  Now that is just good!  (Side note – Decker’s production this week accounted for half of the Coors Light Drunk Guys points.  Not bad for a wide receiver…)

-Josh Gordon, WR – Sofa King Good – 41 pts – Gordon had the Jacksonville defense figured out as he went crazy for 261 yards and 2 TD’s.

-Alshon Jeffery, WR – Joe’s Pats – 39 pts – Three wide receivers as the top three point scorers this week?!  It’s a passing league these days!  Jeffery nearly matched Gordon’s total with 249 yards and 2 touchdowns.

-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 35 pts – Manning scores 35 points and he’s the fourth highest scoring player that week?  Things are weird this season.  But Manning continued his domination of the fantasy world by throwing for 403 yards and 5 TD’s.  He also had 2 interceptions which hurt his total this week.  But owing to the lackluster performance by Drew Brees this week, Manning is now the highest scorer in fantasy by 53 points (318 total points, with Brees second at 265).

-Russell Wilson, QB – Butkus’ Dick – 28 pts – What a performance for a second-year QB on Monday Night Football.  Wilson passed for 310 yards, 3 TD’s, 0 interceptions, and rushed for 47 yards while the Seahawks stomped the Saints.  He has compiled 213 points on the year, which is good enough for 6th overall.


COME ON MAN!
-Antonio Gates, TE – Vandelay Industries – 2 pts – Gates had 41 yards for the game, but lost a fumble costing him two points.  All told, this has not been his season, as he has only found the endzone three times all year.

-Martellus Bennett, TE – Butkus’ Dick – 1 pt – Only could muster 2 catches for 14 yards.

-Jordy Nelson, WR – Channel 4 News Team – 1 pt – Only could muster 2 catches for 14 yards.  Didn’t I just say that?

-Garrett Hartley, K – sprouts – 1 pt – The Saints were seriously outmatched in Seattle and so Hartley only saw the field three times… two kickoffs and one extra point.

-Jermaine Gresham, TE – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – Four times this season, Gresham has gone without scoring a point and hasn’t scored more than 8 in a single week.  This is the epitome of “Come on man!”.


JENS, YOU ARE ON THE CLOCK
With the regular season now concluded, we know how the bottom four teams rank for the season:
7 – Joe’s Pats
8 – Vandelay Industries
9 – Coors Light Drunk Guys
10 – BoomGoesTheDynamite
Going from 1st place to 10th place has never happened in Sacred Sundays history, but cheer up Jensy, you’ve got the first pick for 2014!  What do you know!?!?


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.


2013 REGULAR SEASON HIGHLIGHTS
Here are some stats from this year’s regular season:
Highest Single Player Weekly Score – 49 – Peyton Manning, Week 1

Highest Team Weekly Score – 140 – Channel 4 News Team, Week 6

Highest Overall Scoring Week – Week 1 – 991 total points scored

Largest Margin of Victory – 96 – Week 6 – Channel 4 News Team defeated BoomGoesTheDynamite 140-44

Number of times teams have scored over 100 points – 27

Number of times teams have scored over 100 points in a loss – 3

Highest Scoring Team – Channel 4 News Team – 1,304 pts

Most Scored Upon Team – Butkus’ Dick – 1,196 pts against

Most Waiver Moves – 25 – Joe’s Pats

Highest Best Bench – sprouts – 56 pts, Week 3

Lowest Best Bench – 20 – Sofa King Good, Week 8

Most Best Bench Awards – 3 – American BadAss, Weeks 2, 9 and 11


BEST BENCH
Going into this week only two teams have not been the recipient of the Best Bench Award for the week, the Coors Light Drunk Guys and Vandelay Industries.  That number has dwindled to only one, as this week’s Best Bench goes to… Vandelay Industries!!  Louis could have improved his point total by 29 points this week with three roster moves:  S. Jackson for D. Woodhead (+17), R. White for TY Hilton (+10) and D. Amendola for W. Welker (+2).  Pretty good run to go for 12 weeks without snagging one of these awards.


The battle for the championship has begun!!  Get your rosters ready for Week 1 of the playoffs!!

Last week of the regular season!

Sprouts nickname should be “Rollercoaster”.  Over the last three weeks, Russ’ team has averaged 100.3 points per week, but those points have come in quite the wide range.  He has gone from 127 to 64 to 110.  Up, down, up… could we see 55 points this coming week?   Regardless, Week 12 marked his fourth High Score Prize of season!!  Russ got massive production from his runningbacks, with Knowshon Moreno racking up 31 and Maurice Jones-Drew (yeah, remember that guy?) rattled off 20.  Well done sir!!

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I just have a quick update this week where we’ll go through the final playoff scenarios and give out one of the rarest awards of all… A Double Best Bench Award!  Woohoo!  You only see these about as often as you see a victory from BoomGoesTheDynamite.  HAHA!  What do you know?!?

But first, some observations…

BIG TIME

-Josh Gordon, WR – Sofa King Good – 32 pts – Gordon had a remarkable 17 targets and caught 14 of those for 237 yards and a touchdown.  The catches tied a Browns franchise record for most catches in a game.

-Knowshow Moreno, RB – sprouts – 31 pts – Russ has always seemed to manage big scores from Denver Broncos… when Peyton Manning only manages 12 in a week, Knowshon Moreno comes through with a massive performance, going for 224 yards and a touchdown.  This was Moreno’s biggest game of the season, but may have come at a cost as he was seen on crutches and in a walking boot after the game.

-Philip Rivers, QB – Vandelay Industries – 30 pts – Old Man Rivers can still get the job done, as he proved against the touch KC defense, going off for 392 yards and three touchdown passes!

-Jamaal Charles, RB – Channel 4 News Team – 27 pts – Charles has really lived up to his potential this season, as he is the top ranked RB in fantasy, now currently averaging 16.5 points per game.  We’ll see if he can do better than the 7 points he scored in their first meeting when the Chiefs have a rematch with the Broncos in Week 13.

COME ON, MAN!

-Cleveland, DEF – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – The Browns got no sacks, no turnovers, no touchdowns and gave up 27 points.  No, they weren’t playing the Broncos… this lackluster performance came against the Steelers.  Yuck.

-Kansas City, DEF -  Channel 4 News Team – 1 pt – After averaging 19.4 ppg in their first 7 games, the Chiefs D is only averaging 8.0 per game over their last four.

-Victor Cruz, WR – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 0 pts – Cruz actually caught two balls for 27 yards, but lost a fumble to negate that.  The best part was that he was held out of the endzone this week, so all of us were spared from watching salsa dancing.

-Brian Leonard, RB – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Leonard’s best game all season has been scoring 6 points (he’s done that twice), but has also been held scoreless four other times not counting this week.  So it can’t be too surprising that he finished with only 3 yards rushing and 3 yards receiving.  But it still sucks…

-Aaron Dobson, WR – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Dobson was only on the field for 2 plays after halftime after being in for 35 in the first half, yet he wasn’t on an injury report.  It’s hard to score points from the sideline.

-Eric Decker, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – On a cold night in New England, passing yards were hard to come by.  Especially so for Decker who only finished with one catch for 5 yards.

-Chicago, DEF – Midnight Maulers – -1 pts – The Bears D got used and abused by St. Louis, giving up 42 points and only recording 2 sacks.

PLAYOFFS!

The games this week settled quite a bit in the playoff picture.  Five teams are in for sure: Channel 4 News Team, sprouts, Sofa King Good, American BadAss and Midnight Maulers.  Three teams are out of contention: BoomGoesTheDynamite, Vandelay Industries and Coors Light Drunk Guys.  That leaves only two teams vying for the final wildcard spot:

Butkus’ Dick – WIN final game against Midnight Maulers, OR Joe’s Pats lose to Sofa King Good.

Joe’s Pats -  WIN final game against Sofa King Good PLUS Butkus’ Dick lose to Midnight Maulers.

For the divisional standings, it looks like the top seed in the South Division will be Channel 4 News Team.  Even if sprouts prevails in their head-to-head game this week, the News Team will still have a better divisional record, so will claim the top spot.  In the North Division, the top seed is still up for grabs between Sofa King Good and American BadAss.  If Sofa King Good wins, they will be the top seed… if they lose and American BadAss wins, BadAss will be the top seed.  The Maulers will go into the playoffs as a wildcard regardless of the outcome of games this week.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK

186,282 miles per second: It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!

BEST BENCH

For the first time since Week of 2011, and only the third time since I’ve been keeping track, we have a Double Best Bench!  That means that two teams could have improved point totals this week by 29 points, with three roster moves for each.  The two teams are…. Channel 4 News Team and Butkus’ Dick!  Timmy needed to swap A. Boldin for J. Nelson (+16), R. Mendenhall for B. Tate (+11) and A. Smith for C. Newton (+2).  I needed to change T. Austin for A. Johnson (+12), L. Fitzgerald for D. Bryant (+9) and M. Bennett for T. Gonzales (+8).  The unimind is alive and well.

Last week of the regular season coming up!  Hard to believe that we have already gotten this far…  Next week I’ll do a recap of this season’s milestonses.

Lastly…

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!  Eat plenty of turkey, and have an extra slice of pumpkin pie for me!  And if you are going to be traveling, be safe.

The King has Returned

At long last at runningback is the highest scoring player for a single week!  Only his name is not LeSean McCoy, or Adrian Peterson, or Jamaal Charles or Marshawn Lynch.  Heck, it’s not even Matt Forte or Chris Johnson.  The first runningback to lead all scorers for a single week is a gentleman by the name of Bobby Rainey.  Rainey is a runningback for the Buccaneers who is mainly getting his shot due to Doug Martin being out for the season.  And he definitely made the most of it this week going for 161 yards and 2 TD’s on the ground, along with a 4-yard catch for a TD!  In all he racked up 37 points this week, which is the highest single week production from any runningback.  I never would have guessed that it would have taken until Week 11 for a runningback to break one off... but fantasy football is strange like that.

Also strange is that last week’s high scorer (sprouts) only managed half the points that he scored a week ago.  The big congrats go to Sofa King Good who blew away everyone this week with 120 points!  The next closest was 92 points.  James did it with a huge game from Megatron (32 points) and Marshawn Lynch (23 points).   Sofa King Good is the sixth different team to take home a Weekly High Score Prize this season.  Well don Cap’n!!

So the big thing this week is the push to playoffs with only two games left!  Let’s get right to it!

PLAYOFFS?!  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!
Two teams are already in and have been for a while now.  Channel 4 News Team and sprouts are just playing to see who will be the South Division champion and be the top seed in the playoffs.  The News Team is in the driver’s seat in this race.

Two teams have also been eliminated from making the post-season.  Vandelay Industries and Coors Light Drunk Guys don’t have a path to get in as far as I can tell.  Because of the tie games that have happened, even if these two teams win out, and the other bubble teams lose out, they won’t be able to have a better overall record.  However, all teams are still eligible to win Weekly High Score Prizes.

The remaining six teams are all on the bubble, and still have a shot to make it in.  Here are some possible scenarios for these teams to qualify.  (There may be more scenarios than just these listed here…):
-Sofa King Good – Win one of next two games OR Lose both games Plus losses from Butkus’ Dick, American BadAss and Joe’s Pats and it will come down to tiebreakers.
-Midnight Maulers – Win one of next two games
-Butkus’ Dick – Win next two games, OR Win one game PLUS a loss by Joe’s Pats or American BadAss
-American BadAss – Win next two games, OR Win one game PLUS a loss by Butkus’ Dick or Joe’s Pats
-BoomGoesTheDynamite – Win next two games PLUS losses from Butkus’ Dick or American BadAss and Joe’s Pats
-Joe’s Pats – Win next two games PLUS losses from American BadAss and Butkus’ Dick and it will come down to tiebreakers.
Here is a refresher on the tie-breakers to determine final standings and playoff seeding:
For Divisional standings:
Overall record
Division record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip

For Wild Card spots:
Overall record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip


BEST BENCH
There has been one team to rack up more Best Benches this season than any other.  With his third Best Bench of the season, this week’s winner is…  American BadAss!!  Jason could have improved his point total by 39 points this week with three roster moves:  V. Jackson for P. Garcon (+19), G. Graham for J. Cameron (+15), and Broncos for Titans +5

Two weeks of regular season play left!  And this is the last week to contend with bye weeks…

Sprouts owns Week 10

The league is starting to become a two-team show!  Channel 4 News Team (version 2 now) and sprouts both have the impressive record of 8-2, with the next best teams only having 5 wins.  Timmy’s News Team is also the first and only team thus far to crack 1,000 total points for the season.  Well done guys!

The big congrats for Week 10 go to the aforementioned sprouts, who destroyed my team in the week’s biggest blowout.  Russ got big time performances from Peyton Manning (as always), and also got 49 points from his receiver duo of AJ Green (24 pts) and Brandon Marshall (25 pts).  Julius Thomas also pitched in a cool 15 points from the tight end position, giving sprouts 127 points for the week!  That marks the 3rd Weekly High Score Prize for Russ this season, and his 6th win in a row.  Nice job!

So just a quick update this week to talk about the playoffs and get ready for a push to the end of the regular season…

On with it!!


NICE!
-Tavon Austin, WR – Free Agent – 34 pts – What in Sam Hill is going on?  Again this week, the top scoring player (well, tied for top score) is a wide receiver.  Tavon Austin gets the honors this week, who while the Rams were humiliating the Colts caught passes for 138 yards and 2 TD’s, along with 172 return yards and 1 return TD.  (Btw – the highest scoring running back this week was Pierre Thomas who only notched 22 points.)
-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 34 pts – Brees is having quite a run, having scored over 30 points in 2 of his last 3 outings.  (33 pts in Week 8, 22 in Week 9).  However, he still trails Peyton for the total fantasy lead by 32 points.
-Rams, DEF – Sofa King Good – The Rams clobbered the Colts, in what has to be one of the biggest surprises of the season.  In all, they only allowed 8 points, got 3 sacks, 5 turnovers (4 interceptions, 1 fumble), and had 2 return TD’s (1 punt return, 1 off of a turnover).

-Demaryius Thomas, WR – American BadAss – 28 pts – Another wide receiver at the top of scoring!  Just a ho-hum game for Thomas, racking up 108 yards and 3 TD’s!
-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 27 pts – Mr. Manning is now averaging 28.6 points per game, with his lowest score being 13 points in Week 6.  Truly impressive.


COME ON MAN!
I’m only giving out one “Come on, man!” this week, and it goes to:
-Coors Light Drunk Guys – THREE players on their bye week in the starting line-up.  Shawn has apparently fallen asleep at the wheel as this is the second week in a row where the Drunk Guys have started a player who was on a bye.  You can’t score points if your players aren’t playing!!


PLAYOFFS?!  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!  PLAYOFFS?!?!
Hard to believe that it is already getting down to crunch time for playoffs, but with only 3 regular season games remaining, that is exactly where we find ourselves.  Here is a quick refresher on the playoffs:  the top six teams qualify; the top two in each division automatically qualify; the top team in each division gets a bye in the first round; the remaining two spots are awarded as wildcards; wildcards are not division dependent (i.e. the two wildcard teams could both come from the same division).  For a refresher on tie-breakers, refer to last week’s column.

So here is what we know about the playoffs:
ALREADY IN – Channel 4 News Team2 and sprouts.  Both with a record of 8-2, Timmy and Russ are merely playing to see who gets the top spot in the South Division.

IN CONTROL – American BadAss, Sofa King Good, Butkus’ Dick, Midnight Maulers.  These four teams just need to win the remainder of their games in order to qualify for the playoffs.

IN NEED OF HELP – Joe’s Pats, Vandelay Industries, Coors Light Drunk Guys, BoomGoesTheDynamite.  All four of these teams are still alive to make it in, but they will need to win out plus have losses by other teams (namely those in the “IN CONTROL” section).

Starting next week, I will go through the actual scenarios that need to happen for each team that has not qualified to make it in.  Best of luck to everyone!!

DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS
If you exclude quarterbacks, do you know who is the highest scoring player in Sacred Sundays?  Okay, kind of a trick question, because it is a group of players actually.  That distinction belongs to the Kansas City Chiefs, who have posted 164 points so far this season.  They have scored that many points, and lead all other non-quarterbacks, in spite of having a bye week this last week.  The next closest player is a tie between LeSean McCoy and Jamaal Charles who have scored 147 points so far.  The Chiefs D has had point totals of 27, 25, 21, 26 and 23 this season and average 18.2 per week.  That, my friends, is some Tenacious D.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer.


BEST BENCH
Shawn Martin and the Drunk Guys had lots of holes in their starting roster this week, owing to three players being on byes.  But he only had a 32-point improvement possibility, which wasn’t the highest for this week.  The Best Bench improvement this week was 36 points and it goes to… Sofa King Good!!  James only need two roster moves to achieve this one: Rams for Colts (+28 pts) and P. Thomas for L. Bell (+8 pts).


Here's to making a strong kick toward the playoffs!!