Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Drunkards Dream!


F. N. A.  Now dat der is some good fantasy footballin'! The Coors Light Drunk Guys finally got enough high scoring players into an active roster spot this week to claim the Week 5 High Score Prize!  The Drunk Guys got another massive performance from Devonta Freeman (28 pts) who has become an absolute fantasy beast! Carson Palmer and Julian Edelman both added 18 points en-route to Shawn's 102-point week! The Drunk Guys just edged out SofaKinglucky by 2 points to claim the prize. Nice work Shawn! KERS EFFING LIGHT!!

The league standings are quite a jumble now, with the top two teams holding records of 4-1, one team at 3-2, one team at 3-1-1, two teams at 2-2-1,, two teams at 2-3, one team at 1-4 and one team at 0-4-1. The season is still young, so anything can happen. At this point last season, eventual champ SofaKinglucky (or make that SofaKingBackBaby!) had a record of 2-3. Heck, James' record through 10 weeks was 5-5 and he still went on to take the title. It is never too late to start kicking ass! Unless it's Week 17...then it's probably too late.

Also wanted to make a point about the scores from last week. At the end of the Monday night game there was a play where Calvin Johnson caught a pass by the goal line but had it knocked out by a Seattle defender and go out of the end zone right before he scored.  Yahoo! took a while to get this right, as it was originally scored as a lost fumble by Johnson and a fumble recovery by Seattle. That gave my Scottish Rebels a 2-point victory over Vandelay Industries.  Once they finally got it figured out, it was still counted as a lost fumble by Johnson but Seattle did not receive credit for recovery (even though possession did change). But because of that change, it made it a tie game between Louis and I.  Just know that whenever any point corrections like that occur, it is the system doing it, I have no part in that. But now we are stuck with 4 teams that have a tie game in their record...should make for interesting tie breakers come playoff time. Speaking of the playoffs, it is playoff prediction time!  See below for some bold predicting, going farther than ever before...predicting the Championship game matchup!

Now onward!!


THAT IS THE WAY YOU DEBATE
-Josh McCown, QB - Free Agent - 38 pts - Check out what the lowly Browns QB has done over the last three weeks, 19 pts (Wk 3), 25 pts (Wk 4), 38 pts (Wk 5). He was absolutely nuts this week, throwing for a crazy 457 yards and 2 TD's, plus he added a rushing TD. Can I really be contemplating adding McCown to my team?

-Doug Martin, RB – sprouts - 33pts - There's that muscle hamster we've come to know and love! He now has two weeks in a row over 100 yards, and this week he had 2 rushing TD's plus a receiving TD.

-Eli Manning, QB – Z German Overlords - 31pts - Eli completed 41 of 54 passes, which is a 76% completion rate, and tossed 3 TD's while racking up 441 yards.

-Devonta Freeman, RB - Coors Light Drunk Guys - I think it is fair to say that this guy is a fantasy stud. In his last 3 games he has faced Dallas, Houston and Washington who all had strong run defenses, and he shredded all of them. Over those three games he is averaging 32.3 ppg. That is just freaking good!

-Blake Bortles, QB - Free Agent - 28 pts - Quarterbacks from Cleveland and Jacksonville in the top spots for the week? Crazy season!

-Andy Dalton, QB - SofaKinglucky - 26 pts - Even against a strong Seattle defense, Dalton managed to rack up 331 yards, throw 2 TD's and get a rushing TD. Two miscues (one a bad throw that was intercepted and a fumbled handoff that led to a Seattle touchdown) were his only blemishes. He is averaging 23 ppg and currently ranks as the #1 quarterback in fantasy for total points scored.


COME ON MAN
-Alfred Morris, RB - Vandelay lndustries - 1 pt - Here is what Yahoo! has to say about Alf... "The Redskins' backfield is a true three-way timeshare, and Morris has been the least effective member through five games." Harsh. But true. This week he had 15 yards on 8 carries.

-Jason Witten, TE - Coors Light Drunk Guys - 1 pt - Losing a 4th quarter fumble knocked him down from having just a bad week to a terrible week. Brandon Weeden just doesn't have the same connection with Witten as does Romo. Maybe a Mexican vacation needs to happen?

-Coby Fleener, TE - Vandelay lndustries - 0 pts - lf he doesn't find the endzone, Fleener just isn't going to score many points. This is one of those weeks where he didn't find the endzone, so yeah...

-Houston, DEF - Vandelay lndustries - 0 pts - Back to back scoreless weeks. Houston is an absolute bust as a team defense this season. More on this below.

-Owen Daniels, TE - Joe's Pats - 0 pts - Daniels did not catch any of the five balls thrown his way this week. Thanks for trying though...


WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?
It only took five weeks for the Cleveland Browns, the team that we all thought was too shitty to draft any of their players, to show all of us up.  A starting lineup consisting of only Browns players finished Week 5 with 107 points.  That's 5 points better than even our best team could muster.  And that was with the Browns Defense laying a goose egg, so they did it with only 7 players.
Here is that lineup that is better than yours:
Josh McCown Cle - QB 38
Isaiah Crowell Cle - RB 13
Duke Johnson Jr. Cle - RB 7
Travis Benjamin Cle - WR 8
Taylor Gabriel Cle - WR 7
Gary Barnidge Cle - TE 19
Travis Coons Cle - K 15
Cleveland Cle - DEF 0
Total 107

Josh McCown is averaging 27.3 ppg over the last three weeks (since returning from injury), which is a better average than Tom Brady.  Gary Barnidge is the 3rd ranked tight end in total points, behind only Gronkowski and Eifert.  Travis Benjamin is the 5th ranked wide receiver, currently higher than Antonio Brown and AJ Green.  I think it is safe to say that the Browns are not the cesspool of fantasy rejects they were made out to be in the pre-season.


DEFENSE (clap, clap) DEFENSE (clap, clap)
My hypothesis on team defenses at the beginning of the season was that there would be a couple of good teams out of the top 10 expert ranked teams, but that the rest would be a crazy mix.  Thus far, I would say that my hypothesis is mostly true.
Here are the top 10 ranked defenses, and how they are currently performing:
OVERALL
Rank Defense/Special Teams Week 5 RANK
1 Seattle Sea - DEF Rk #6 - 14 pts 2
2 Buffalo Buf - DEF Rk #14 - 9 pts 15
3 Houston Hou - DEF Rk #26 - 0 pts 31
4 Philadelphia Phi - DEF Rk #6 - 14 pts 12
5 St. Louis StL - DEF Rk #14 - 9 pts 5
6 Arizona Ari - DEF Rk #4 - 15 pts 3
7 New England NE - DEF Rk #4 - 15 pts 18
8 Baltimore Bal - DEF Rk #19 - 6 pts 18
9 Green Bay GB - DEF Rk #1 - 23 pts 4
10 Kansas City KC - DEF Rk #10 - 11 pts 21

Seattle, St. Louis, Arizona and Green Bay were all ranked in the top 10 in the preseason and are still in the top 10 as of today.  Houston, New England, Baltimore and Kansas City are all massively underperforming, while Buffalo and Philly are also not living up to expectations.  The current worst defense in fantasy is the 49ers and they were ranked #11 in the preseason.  The top ranked defense is the Denver Broncos who were ranked 17th to begin with.


PLAYOFFS? DON'T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!!
Last season I made my playoff predictions in Week 5, and I was 5 out of 6 for predicting playoff teams.  The one team that I didn’t pick to make the playoffs, ended up being the league champion.  So those teams that I don’t pick to make it to the playoffs should probably feel pretty good about their chances.

This season I’m going to go one further and not only predict which teams are going to make the playoffs, but also predict the Championship Game matchup.  First the playoff qualifiers:

Joe’s Pats – Joe’s record of 3-1-1 has happened two times before in Sacred Sundays history and both times, that team made it in.  Also Joe is the 4th highest scoring team up to this point, which brings with it a playoff qualification percentage of 62.5%.
Scottish Rebels – The highest scoring team through the first five games (Rebels) has qualified for the playoffs 100% of the time.  However, the highest scoring team through the first five games has never won it all.
Bubble Crap Bandits – The second highest scoring team through the first five weeks has qualified for the playoffs 100% of the time.  Tim’s 3-2 record at this point also carries a 69.2% playoff qualification rate.
Coors Light Drunk Guys – A record of 4-1 leads to playoff qualifying 80% of the time.  Also Shawn seems to have a lot of good players stashed on his bench.
SofaKingLucky – James has the same 4-1 record, so he’s got an 80% shot to get in.
Midnight Maulers – The Maulers are the 5th highest scoring team so far, which has a playoff qualification rate of 66.7%.  Weirdly enough, that is a higher qualification rate than the 3rd and 4th ranked teams.

For the Championship Game matchup, my prediction is Midnight Maulers vs. Scottish Rebels!  Did I just predict my own team playing for the championship??  Oh yeah!!


PICKING GAMES
In the League Pick-Em, the only teams that have actually made picks for the last four weeks are Z German Overlords and myself.  I'm guessing that part of the issue has to be that there does not seem to be a way to access the League Pick-Em page and actually make picks with the Yahoo! app.  Picks can only be made when you are viewing the full webpage.  But because of that issue, along with the lack of participation I am discontinuing the reward of moving the person with the most right picks to the top of the waiver list.  Waiver priority will reset each week to the inverse of standings.


BEST BENCH
Not since Joe’s Pats did it back in Week 5 of 2012 have we seen a Best Bench like this week’s.  Prior to that occurrence it had only happened on three other occasions.  Those are the rare instances where a team gets props at the beginning and the end of the weekly write-up, for snagging both the Highest Score Prize and the Best Bench.  Did Shawn actually pull down his fourth Best Bench in only five weeks and do it in the same week where he was the high score?  It gives great honor to announce that, YES!  HE!  DID!!  This week Shawn only needed two roster moves to garner a 31-point improvement: T. Eifert for J. Witten (+20) and A. Boldin for M. Crabtree (+11).
I’m not sure how you keep doing this each week Shawn, but I am loving it!


Bye weeks keep on coming and injuries keep on piling up.  Get your waivers in, and get ready for Week 6!!


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