Jagger can't be stopped!!

Jagger’s moves continue! In a dominating performance, Moves Like Jagger more than doubled his opponent's total and was 21 points ahead of the next closest team! That’s the way you debate! Nice job, Jens… as you said, you are now playing with house money, having taken the high score prize in three of six weeks, and remaining as the only undefeated team. Well done!

In other games, the Midnight Maulers finally ended their five game slide, and finished up on the right side of the scoreboard to log their first victory. My Rebels still can’t figure out this whole foos-ball thing, and are still searching for a win after six long weeks. The rest of the field is super tight, with three teams at 4-2, three teams at 3-3 and one team at 2-4. From the looks of that, it is still anyone’s ballgame. (Except the Maulers and the Rebels, of course :-) ) Check out the full Week Six analysis below to see what your team’s chances look like…

First, the weekly observations:

THERE IT IS!!

• Ahmad Bradshaw, RB – Moves Like Jagger – 30 pts – The only player to cross the 30-point barrier this week, and Jens had him on the bench. Seriously, Bradshaw is probably going to push Brandon Jacobs down the stairs, so he never returns to the line-up.
• Michael Turner, RB – Moves Like Jagger – 25 pts – Turner is following his normal trend of high-low-high-low, having gone for 20 points, then 2, then 20, then 11 and now 25 this week. Facing Detroit next week kinda makes me think this trend will continue…
• Aaron Rodgers, QB – American BadAss – 23 pts – Rodgers is on an absolute mission this season… he is the #1 player in all of fantasy, having scored 163 points so far, which leads 2^nd place (Cam Newton) by 18 points. Wow!
• Devin Hester, WR – Free Agent – 23 pts – After averaging only 5.2 points per game, Hester broke out against the Vikings, logging 91 receiving yards and returning a kick-off 98 yards for a touchdown!

COME ON, MAN…

• Jermichael Finley, TE – Moves Like Jagger – 2 pts – Finley has 47 points on the season, with 26 of those coming in one game (week 3). In the other five games, he’s averaging a pedestrian 4.2 points per game.
• Owen Daniels, TE – SOFA KING GOOD – 1 pt – Really not a good week to be a tight end.
• Denarious Moore, WR – American BadAss – 0 pts – Whatever hope this guy had with Jason Campbell at quarterback is gone, now that Kyle Boller has taken over at the helm.
• Vernon Davis, TE – Lords of Lumberg – 0 pts – Davis had scored at least 10 points in his prior three games, but only caught 2 passes for 8 yards against the Lions this week.

JUST PICK THE WINNERS… SOUNDS SO SIMPLE

Six teams made picks this week on the Weekly Matchups, and remarkably, four picked the same amount of winners. The Coors Light Drunk Guys, sprouts, Moves Like Jagger and the Midnight Maulers all were right with three of their picks. Kudos to Jamie for being the only one to pick his team to win, and then backing it up!

But because there was no leader this week, the waiver order will be set to the reverse of standings.

TMITNBTTAT

Text messaging has literally changed the way we communicate. Thanks to text messaging, HHTYAY is no longer useless jargon, it has become “Happy Holidays To You And Yours”. HITAKS isn’t just a jumble word anymore, it’s “Hang In There And Keep Smiling”. Here’s a couple other good ones that I came across recently: LBUG is “Laughing Because You’re Gay”, ONUD is “Oh No You Didn’t”, and my personal favorite LDIMEDILLIGAF which of course is “Look Deeply Into My Eyes, Does It Look Like I Give A F**k”.

Pretty much anything goes in texting by just typing the first letter of the words you want to say. It’s so easy!! Take a minute to see if you can figure out what my title for this section, written entirely in text messaging lingo. (The answer is at the end of the post.)

And how about one more text-pression, just for Shawn… NASCAR “Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks”. LSHITIPAL!!!

SEASONAL ANALYSIS – SIX WEEKS IN

Since 2007 there have been two teams to start off 6-0, SOFA KING GOOD in 2010 and the Midnight Maulers in 2007. No team has ever started 7-0, so Moves Like Jagger is playing for a spot in history in Week 7. Last week we set a record with two teams starting off 0-5, and now my Scottish Rebels have done that one better, with an unprecedented 0-6 record. I really understand what Jim Mora was talking about when he said “… Playoffs? Playoffs??! I just hope we can win a game.”

To the stats - As mentioned before, two teams have started 6-0 but, amazingly, only one of those made the playoffs… so Jens, you’re still looking at a 50/50 shot! After six weeks, the most common record is 3-3, having occurred 11 times with 6 qualifying for the playoffs (54.5%). The second most common record is 2-4, having occurred 10 times with only 4 teams making the playoffs (40.0%). Two records are shoo-ins to qualify, 5-1 and 1-4-1, both records having occurred 2 times with all teams qualifying for the playoffs. But since neither of those records is represented this year, no team is a lock. The second highest playoff qualification record is 4-2, having occurred 6 times with 5 making it in (83.3%). Three records are guaranteed shut-outs… 2-3-1, 1-5 and 0-5-1 all having occurred once with no playoff appearances.

Based on all that, my playoff prediction teams are: Moves Like Jagger, Joe’s Pats, American BadAss, Lords of Lumberg, Frito Pie and Coors Light Drunk Guys! (Remember, if I didn’t predict your team to make it to the playoffs, don’t fret! Just read last week’s update and you’ll find it there!)

BEST BENCH

Points were hard to come by anywhere this week, let alone on team’s benches. Several teams had their optimal line-ups in, or very near it! (My bench would have only gained me 2 more points…) In the end, the team that took the high score this week also claimed the title for Best Bench… Moves Like Jagger! Jens could have improved his total by 24 points this week, with three roster moves: A. Bradshaw for R. Rice (+14 pts), A. Hernandez for J. Finley (+8 pts) and J. Flacco for B. Roethlisberger (+2 pts). Had Jens made those moves, he would have finished with 149 points, which would have been a league record.

That’s it for Week 6… Big time questions coming up for Week 7: Will Moves Like Jagger set the record by starting 7-0? Will my Scottish Rebels finally win a game? Answers: No and Yes. Hahahaha! What do you know Jensy!?!?

Be sure to make your picks in the Weekly Matchups, and get your team ready for Week 7! Midseason report cards come out next week!!

BTW – “Text Messaging Is The Next Best Thing To Actually Talking”