Jagger can't be stopped!!

Jagger’s moves continue! In a dominating performance, Moves Like Jagger more than doubled his opponent's total and was 21 points ahead of the next closest team! That’s the way you debate! Nice job, Jens… as you said, you are now playing with house money, having taken the high score prize in three of six weeks, and remaining as the only undefeated team. Well done!

In other games, the Midnight Maulers finally ended their five game slide, and finished up on the right side of the scoreboard to log their first victory. My Rebels still can’t figure out this whole foos-ball thing, and are still searching for a win after six long weeks. The rest of the field is super tight, with three teams at 4-2, three teams at 3-3 and one team at 2-4. From the looks of that, it is still anyone’s ballgame. (Except the Maulers and the Rebels, of course :-) ) Check out the full Week Six analysis below to see what your team’s chances look like…

First, the weekly observations:

THERE IT IS!!

• Ahmad Bradshaw, RB – Moves Like Jagger – 30 pts – The only player to cross the 30-point barrier this week, and Jens had him on the bench. Seriously, Bradshaw is probably going to push Brandon Jacobs down the stairs, so he never returns to the line-up.
• Michael Turner, RB – Moves Like Jagger – 25 pts – Turner is following his normal trend of high-low-high-low, having gone for 20 points, then 2, then 20, then 11 and now 25 this week. Facing Detroit next week kinda makes me think this trend will continue…
• Aaron Rodgers, QB – American BadAss – 23 pts – Rodgers is on an absolute mission this season… he is the #1 player in all of fantasy, having scored 163 points so far, which leads 2^nd place (Cam Newton) by 18 points. Wow!
• Devin Hester, WR – Free Agent – 23 pts – After averaging only 5.2 points per game, Hester broke out against the Vikings, logging 91 receiving yards and returning a kick-off 98 yards for a touchdown!

COME ON, MAN…

• Jermichael Finley, TE – Moves Like Jagger – 2 pts – Finley has 47 points on the season, with 26 of those coming in one game (week 3). In the other five games, he’s averaging a pedestrian 4.2 points per game.
• Owen Daniels, TE – SOFA KING GOOD – 1 pt – Really not a good week to be a tight end.
• Denarious Moore, WR – American BadAss – 0 pts – Whatever hope this guy had with Jason Campbell at quarterback is gone, now that Kyle Boller has taken over at the helm.
• Vernon Davis, TE – Lords of Lumberg – 0 pts – Davis had scored at least 10 points in his prior three games, but only caught 2 passes for 8 yards against the Lions this week.

JUST PICK THE WINNERS… SOUNDS SO SIMPLE

Six teams made picks this week on the Weekly Matchups, and remarkably, four picked the same amount of winners. The Coors Light Drunk Guys, sprouts, Moves Like Jagger and the Midnight Maulers all were right with three of their picks. Kudos to Jamie for being the only one to pick his team to win, and then backing it up!

But because there was no leader this week, the waiver order will be set to the reverse of standings.

TMITNBTTAT

Text messaging has literally changed the way we communicate. Thanks to text messaging, HHTYAY is no longer useless jargon, it has become “Happy Holidays To You And Yours”. HITAKS isn’t just a jumble word anymore, it’s “Hang In There And Keep Smiling”. Here’s a couple other good ones that I came across recently: LBUG is “Laughing Because You’re Gay”, ONUD is “Oh No You Didn’t”, and my personal favorite LDIMEDILLIGAF which of course is “Look Deeply Into My Eyes, Does It Look Like I Give A F**k”.

Pretty much anything goes in texting by just typing the first letter of the words you want to say. It’s so easy!! Take a minute to see if you can figure out what my title for this section, written entirely in text messaging lingo. (The answer is at the end of the post.)

And how about one more text-pression, just for Shawn… NASCAR “Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks”. LSHITIPAL!!!

SEASONAL ANALYSIS – SIX WEEKS IN

Since 2007 there have been two teams to start off 6-0, SOFA KING GOOD in 2010 and the Midnight Maulers in 2007. No team has ever started 7-0, so Moves Like Jagger is playing for a spot in history in Week 7. Last week we set a record with two teams starting off 0-5, and now my Scottish Rebels have done that one better, with an unprecedented 0-6 record. I really understand what Jim Mora was talking about when he said “… Playoffs? Playoffs??! I just hope we can win a game.”

To the stats - As mentioned before, two teams have started 6-0 but, amazingly, only one of those made the playoffs… so Jens, you’re still looking at a 50/50 shot! After six weeks, the most common record is 3-3, having occurred 11 times with 6 qualifying for the playoffs (54.5%). The second most common record is 2-4, having occurred 10 times with only 4 teams making the playoffs (40.0%). Two records are shoo-ins to qualify, 5-1 and 1-4-1, both records having occurred 2 times with all teams qualifying for the playoffs. But since neither of those records is represented this year, no team is a lock. The second highest playoff qualification record is 4-2, having occurred 6 times with 5 making it in (83.3%). Three records are guaranteed shut-outs… 2-3-1, 1-5 and 0-5-1 all having occurred once with no playoff appearances.

Based on all that, my playoff prediction teams are: Moves Like Jagger, Joe’s Pats, American BadAss, Lords of Lumberg, Frito Pie and Coors Light Drunk Guys! (Remember, if I didn’t predict your team to make it to the playoffs, don’t fret! Just read last week’s update and you’ll find it there!)

BEST BENCH

Points were hard to come by anywhere this week, let alone on team’s benches. Several teams had their optimal line-ups in, or very near it! (My bench would have only gained me 2 more points…) In the end, the team that took the high score this week also claimed the title for Best Bench… Moves Like Jagger! Jens could have improved his total by 24 points this week, with three roster moves: A. Bradshaw for R. Rice (+14 pts), A. Hernandez for J. Finley (+8 pts) and J. Flacco for B. Roethlisberger (+2 pts). Had Jens made those moves, he would have finished with 149 points, which would have been a league record.

That’s it for Week 6… Big time questions coming up for Week 7: Will Moves Like Jagger set the record by starting 7-0? Will my Scottish Rebels finally win a game? Answers: No and Yes. Hahahaha! What do you know Jensy!?!?

Be sure to make your picks in the Weekly Matchups, and get your team ready for Week 7! Midseason report cards come out next week!!

BTW – “Text Messaging Is The Next Best Thing To Actually Talking”

I never knew that shirtless pelvic gyrations were such a powerful force in football… For the second time this season, Moves Like Jagger take the crown for the Highest Score, and take the top spot in the league with an unblemished 5-0 record! Well-done Jensy! Moves Like Jagger has scored an impressive 531 points this season, but the top spot in the scoring department belongs to SOFA KING GOOD who has put up 535 points this season. In spite of that, SOFA KING GOOD has a record of 2-3! Just goes to show how important match-ups are each week.

Speaking of match-ups, over the last two weeks the team that has scored the most points (227) has also had the most points scored against them (235). That would be my Scottish Rebels, still searching for that elusive first victory. And as they say, misery loves company, so the Midnight Maulers have also not yet tasted the sweet nectar of victory. Six teams are either at 3-2 or 2-3, so the field is still wide open. See below for the stats on Week 5 starting records. Back on the points scored over the last two weeks, one interesting factoid is that the team that has scored the lowest (sprouts with 157 points) has also had the fewest points scored against them (165). That must mean something, I just don't know what! I digress… let’s get to it!!

BIG TIME, BILL! BIG TIME!

• Adrian Peterson, RB – Scottish Rebels – 30 pts – Running like a man possessed, Peterson scored all three of his touchdowns in the first quarter! That is what is known in Fantasy Football as a touchdown orgy.
• Ben Roethlisberger, QB – Moves Like Jagger – 27 pts – Big Ben became the first player in Steelers history to throw for 5 touchdowns in a game for the second time in his career. Even Bradshaw only accomplished that once.
  
• Aaron Rodgers, QB – American BadAss – 26 pts – Rodgers continues on his quest to show that he is the greatest quarterback in the league. He has not scored less than 21 points in a week this year, and is currently averaging 28 points per game. That is big time!
• Ben-Jarvus Green-Ellis, RB – American BadAss – 26 pts – Two weeks ago, The Law Firm scored 1 point. Last week he scored 13. This week he scored 26. Based on this progression, my prediction for his Week 6 total is 40. You heard it here.
• Jahvid Best, RB – Scottish Rebels – 25 pts – It must be fun to run 88 yards down the football field during a game without so much as a defender even breathing in your direction. Best got to do just that on Monday night against the Bears, on what was an absolutely spectacular touchdown run. If he had only found the endzone one more time, I would be trying to convince Rachel to name our kid Jahvid. Guess we’ll have to stick with LaDainian…
• Fred Jackson, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 25 pts – Fred Jackson of the Buffalo Bills is the top runningback in the league. He has scored 97 points through five weeks. That is fourpoints ahead the second best runner, LeSean McCoy. The Drunk Guys took Jackson in the 8th round, after 27 other runningbacks had been selected. Yeah, I’d say that’s getting good value.

WHAT IN THE...

• Jordy Nelson, WR – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – Aaron Rodgers throws the ball a lot, but he also throws it to a lot of receivers. Against the Falcons, Rodgers completed passes to 12 different receivers, and that’s only because linemen are ineligible. Otherwise, I believe it would have been 17 different receivers. Nelson managed to get three catches, but only went for 17 yards.
• Dexter McCluster, RB – Lords of Lumberg – 1 pt – Only 18 total yards for McCluster (8 rushing, 10 receiving). Timmy’s still waiting for the next Priest Holmes…
• Dustin Keller, TE – Scottish Rebels – 0 pts – The leading receiver for the Jets going into the game, and he finished with 1 catch for 7 yards. Dang…Puh-thet-tick.
• Denarious Moore, WR – American BadAss – 0 pts – You know that old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”… here is all Yahoo! had to say about the game Denarious had on Sunday: “WR Denarius Moore had his longest punt return of the season of 21 yards.” HAHAHA…his highlight was a 21-yard punt return. Hilarious!

GAME PICK RECAP

There was a tie for the most correct picks in the Weekly Matchups again this week. Joe’s Pats and SOFA KING GOOD both were correct with three of their picks. Therefore, the waiver order is the reverse order of standings.

Don’t forget to pick the winners of each game to be #1 on the waiver list!!

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM

With the high scores posted the last couple weeks, I got curious about what the highest score possible would be. So below I have assembled the weekly dream team, affectionately named, “The Dreamers”. This week The Dreamers’ roster is full of a lot of unlikely players… Matt Cassel, BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Pierre Garcon and Joel Dressen… all were top performers in their positions. (Kudos to Joel Dressen’s mom for having him in her line-up this week.) The Dreamers netted 194 points for the week. Here is the breakdown of each position…

The Dreamers

QB – Matt Cassel, KC – 27 pts

RB – Adrian Peterson, MIN – 30 pts

RB – BenJarvus Green-Ellis, NE – 26 pts

WR – Pierre Garcon, IND – 24 pts

WR – Dwayne Bowe, KC – 24 pts

TE – Joel Dressen, HOU – 17 pts

K – Sebastian Janikowski, OAK – 20 pts

DEF – Seattle – 26 pts

Total – 194

And, check out the scores from the top free agents this week. “The Unwanteds” rang up a total of 145 points, which would have taken the Weekly High Score by a wide margin. (Pierre Garcon, Joel Dressen and Seattle all share the honor of being on both squads).

The Unwanteds

QB – Curtis Painter, IND – 19 pts

RB – Jackie Battle, KC – 13 pts

RB – Jonathan Dwyer, Pit – 10 pts

WR – Pierre Garcon, IND – 24 pts

WR – Victor Cruz, NYG – 23 pts

TE – Joel Dressen, HOU – 17 pts

K – Stephen Gostkowski, NE – 13 pts

DEF – Seattle – 26 pts

Total – 145

PLAYOFFS… WHERE WINGS TAKE DREAM

Starting 5-0 is impressive, and is also a rarity. Only two times prior to this season has a team started off with that record. Even more rare, is starting off 0-5. Prior to this season there has never been a team to start winless for five weeks, and now we have two in one season! The previous two 5-0 starts ended with one team qualifying for the playoffs and one team missing out. So right now Moves Like Jagger has a 50/50 shot to make it in. Given that there is no history for 0-5, I can honestly say that no team has started 0-5 and not made the playoffs. So I like my chances.

Other stats from five weeks into the season: the most common record is 3-2 having occurred 13 times, with 10 teams qualifying for the playoffs… second most common is 2-3 having occurred 10 times with only 4 of those teams making the playoffs. There are two shoo-in records, 3-1-1 and 1-3-1 each having occurred one time with both teams making the playoffs. The shutout record is 0-4-1, having occurred only one time with no playoff appearance.(Thank god I didn’t tie this week and ruin my chances of making the playoffs!)

Given all of these stats, my playoff prediction teams are: American BadAss, sprouts, Moves Like Jagger, Joe’s Pats, Frito Pie and Coors Light Drunk Guys.

BEST BENCH

With six NFL teams on byes this past week, there were not a whole lot points left sitting on team’s benches. But with a 37-point improvement, the award for Best Bench goes to… American BadAss!! It would have only taken two roster moves, B. Green-Ellis for C. Benson (21 points) and M. Floyd for D. Moore (16 points).

Get your teams ready for Week 6! We are only one week away from mid-season report cards!

IT'S GOOD TO BE THE KING!

What a week it was! One week after SOFA KING GOOD set a record for the highest score ever from a single team, all teams pitched in to have the highest scoring week in the history of Sacred Sundays. The prior record was 993 points set in Week 2 of 2007… this week 1,000 points were scored, mainly because five teams broke into the triple digits! Two of the teams scoring trips did so in losing efforts, the Midnight Maulers and my Scottish Rebels. Scoring over 100 points is usually going to garner a victory, but as with everything, there are exceptions. Below is a complete analysis of 100+ point scorers and how they have fared over the years.

Speaking of high scorers, big congrats to SOFA KING GOOD for claiming the Weekly High Score Prize for the second week in a row!! I really thought that I was going to get my first victory of the season, when leading by 29 points going into the Sunday Night game. But the Baltimore Defense had other plans, and demolished the Jets while racking up 2 sacks, 1 interception, 3 fumble recoveries, 3 touchdowns and only giving up 11 points. All told that netted the Ravens 35 points on the day, giving James a total of 122 points! Well done Cap’n!!

Two teams are left undefeated (Moves Like Jagger and Joe’s Pats) and two teams are left winless (Scottish Rebels and Midnight Maulers) through four weeks of the season. My money says that two of those four teams will make it to the playoffs this year… but not necessarily the undefeated’s. I’ve updated the playoff statistics to examine how things stand after four weeks of play. More on that below as well…

First, as always, the notable notes of the week:

THE WAY FOOTBALL SHOULD BE PLAYED

- Aaron Rodgers, QB – American BadAss – 48 pts – It’s hard to imagine just how good of a day Rodgers had. He threw for 408 yards, rushed for 36 yards and accounted for 6 touchdowns (4 passing, 2 rushing)!! BTW- 48 pts is 1 point shy of the record scored by a single player in a single game (Adrian Peterson and Michael Vick have both scored 49).

- Michael Vick, QB – Scottish Rebels – 32 pts – After two sub-par weeks, Vick came alive against the 49ers posting 416 yards passing with 2 TD’s and 75 yards rushing. Let’s all hope this Vick is here to stay.

- Matt Forte, RB – American BadAss – 31 pts – Forte had the second best day ever for a Chicago runner with 205 yards. He now has over 630 combined yards this year, but has only found the endzone twice.

- Beanie Wells, RB – Frito Pie – 31 pts – Forte needs to learn from Wells, who had just 138 yards on the ground, but took it to the house 3 times against the Giants!!

TRY, TRY AGAIN

- Shonn Greene, RB – Frito Pie – 2 pts – The Ravens D had Greene’s number as he only managed 23 yards on 10 carries and did not catch a pass.

- Jermichael Finley, TE – Moves Like Jagger – 2 pts – On a prolific offense like the Packers, you would think that Finley could manage more than 3 catches for just 28 yards.

- Rob Gronkowski, TE – sprouts – 1 pt – I suppose we can cut him a little slack this week considering he was scoring an average of 18.6 points per game coming into this one.

PLAYOFFS – WHO ARE THE REAL CONTENDERS?

After four weeks of play, the most common record since 2007 is 2-2. That record has happened 13 times, but only 5 of those teams made the playoffs (38.5%). The second most common record is 3-1; having occurred 9 times with 7 of those teams making it in (77.8%). The highest playoff qualification record after four weeks is 1-2-1 having occurred twice with both teams making it to the playoffs. The second highest playoff qualification record after four weeks, surprisingly, is 1-3, having occurred 8 times with 7 of those teams making it to the tournament (87.5%).

Most remarkably, in the last four years, only 2 teams have started off 4-0, and only one of those teams made it to the playoffs (50%). Same goes for an 0-4 record, having only occurred twice, with one of those teams making the playoffs. So 4-0 or 0-4, you've only got a 50% shot to make it in...

Based on this highly scientific analysis, my new playoff team predictions are: the Coors Light Drunk Guys, Moves Like Jagger, Frito Pie, SOFA KING GOOD, Lords of Lumberg and Midnight Maulers. (Next week I plan to predict American BadAss and sprouts to make the playoffs so that at the end of the season regardless of who makes it in, I will have predicted it!)

THE CENTURY CLUB

The 100-point mark is a good goal to have each week, as it normally means victory. Since 2007, in head-to-head match-ups teams have scored triple digits 114 times. In only 12 of those occasions has scoring that many points left a team on the losing side. So scoring over 100 means victory 89.5% of the time.

And just in case you are curious, the highest score for a losing team is 116 points… held by the Coors Light Drunk Guys (who lost 116-132 to Lords of Lumberg in Week 6 2009) and my Scottish Rebels (who just lost this week to SOFA KING GOOD, 116-122).

GAME PICK RECAP

Four teams picked four winners correctly this week (Moves Like Jagger, Lords of Lumberg, Coors Light Drunk Guys, and sprouts). So once again, the waiver order is the reverse order of standings. Don’t forget to pick the winners of each game to be #1 on the waiver list!!

BEST BENCH

In a record-scoring week, it makes sense that there weren’t many points left sitting on team’s benches. The Best Bench award for Week 4 was a tie between Joe’s Pats and sprouts, both of whom could have improved their point total by only 18 points with two roster moves. Joe needed E. Decker for B. Marshall (12 pts) and J. Freeman for T. Brady (6 pts), while Russ needed W. McGahee for P. Hillis (5 pts) and D. Bowe for A. Johnson (13 pts).

Bye weeks start this week so make sure your roster has players who are playing!