Championship Time!

The final battle is set! Joe's Pats will face off against my Scottish Rebels for the 2015 Sacred Sundays Championship.  What an interesting turn of events this week with the four playoff teams posting the three highest scores of the week.  Last week it was the non-playoff teams posting the big numbers.

In the first game, Joe's Pats got another masterful performance from Russell Wilson (25 pts), along with great games from Jordan Reed (20 pts) and Brandin Cooks (18 pts). That proved to be more than enough to defeat the Bubble Craps Bandits 115-80.  The Bandits had a rough game…LeSean McCoy only scored 2 points and Danny Amendola finished on the wrong side of zero with -2. The other semifinal game was an epic shootout between my Rebels and American Badass. Badass had a giant game from David Johnson (43 pts) along with a solid performance from Demaryius Thomas (18 pts) to finish with 107 points. But that wasn't enough to top the greatness of Cam Newton (41 pts), Antonio Brown (33 pts) and Stephen Gostkowski (17 pts). Those three players accounted for 74% of my scoring this week, and helped me to a grand total of 123 points along with my fourth Weekly High Score Prize of the season!  Oh yeah! Side note - This is only the second time this season where a team has scored over 100 points and wound up losing.

The other game of note this week was the playoff for 5th and 6th place between the Midnight Maulers and the Coors Light Drunk Guys. The Drunks had double digit performances from six players and ended up besting the Maulers 99-69. That puts the Coors Light Drunk Guys as the fifth place team this season and the Maulers in sixth. Next week I’ll have a full report on the history of finishes going back to 2007.

Hard to believe there is only one week left of games for this fantasy season... let's get to it!!

Oh yeah!

OH YEAH!
-David Johnson, RB - American BadAss - 43 pts - This is what you call a 'career night'.  Johnson was awesome against the Eagles, piling up 187 rushing yards and 3 TD's plus 42 receiving yards. This is the best single-game performance from a runningback this season.

-Cam Newton, QB - Scottish Rebels - 41 pts - It is just ridiculous what Newton is doing this season. He had another 5 TD day, to go along with 340 passing yards and 100(!) rushing yards. Unbelievable.

-Kirk Cousins, QB - SofaKinglucky - 35 pts - RG who? Check out Cousins' points over the last four weeks: 22, 12, 21, 35.  That is the 7th most points during that span among QB’s.  He has moved up the board and is now the 14th ranked QB in fantasy.

-Antonio Brown, WR - Scottish Rebels - 33 pts - This marks the fourth time this season that Brown has posted 30 or more points. And this game was not against a terrible defense like the Browns or Titans. This came against the Denver Broncos, and he still finished with 189 yards and 2 TD's.

-Teddy Bridgewater, QB - Free Agent - 32 pts - Clearly Bridgewaters's best game of the season, as his previous high was 19.  In this one he finished 231 yards passing, 4 TD's plus 17 yards rushing and a rushing TD. That'll do.

-Danny Woodhead, RB - Coors Light Drunk Guys - 30 pts - ln the four games prior to this week, Woodhead's point totals were: 0, 3, 3, 0.  So yeah, this one came as a surprise. The crazy thing is that he only rushed for 10 yards, and caught 6 passes for 50 yards. But somehow in those 60 yards he managed to find the endzone not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR freaking times!!


COME ON MAN...
-Calvin Johnson, WR - Vandelay lndustries - 1 pt - Megatron has now posted single-point games in back-to-back weeks. He currently ranks as the #15 receiver in fantasy. That is just wrong.

-Richard Rodgers, TE - nextyearautodraft - 0 pts - No Hail Mary catches this week. Only 1 catch for seven measly yards.

-Javorius Allen, RB - Scottish Rebels - -1 pt - An untimely fumble ended Buck's day early. He only managed 18 yards on 4 carries up to the fumble.

-Danny Amendola, WR - Bubble Craps Bandits - -2 pts - Normally I would not include a player who was injured in this section, but Amendola played a full half and only managed 1 catch for 3 yards, plus lost a fumble on a punt return. That is not good.

DEFENSE (clap clap) DEFENSE (clap clap)
With only one week left, we should have a pretty good picture of how defenses are going to finish in relation to their preseason ranking.  As a recap, my preseason prediction was that 2 or 3 of the highly ranked defenses at that time would finish as highly ranked defenses.  Here is a summary of the Top Ten preseason defenses:

			OVERALL
Rank	Defense/Special Teams	Week 13	RANK
1	Seattle Sea - DEF	Rk #8 - 10 pts	3
2	Buffalo Buf - DEF	Rk #31 - 0 pts	26
3	Houston Hou - DEF	Rk #7 - 11 pts	18
4	Philadelphia Phi - DEF	Rk #27 - 3 pts	8
5	St. Louis StL - DEF	Rk #16 - 7 pts	11
6	Arizona Ari - DEF	Rk #3 - 18 pts	5
7	New England NE - DEF	Rk #2 - 20 pts	9
8	Baltimore Bal - DEF	Rk #19 - 6 pts	21
9	Green Bay GB - DEF	Rk #4 - 16 pts	15
10	Kansas City KC - DEF	Rk #1 - 21 pts	2

Five of the top 10 teams are still ranked in the top 10, so that is doing better than I predicted.  Final thoughts on this defensive analysis next week.


COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSE (Christmas song edition)
From time to time you'll hear song lyrics that just don't make any sense. One that immediately pops into mind is the U2 song ‘Vertigo’ where Bono starts off by singing "Uno, dos, tres, catorce". Uh, ok... 1, 2, 3, 14... Maybe that's just how they count in Ireland. Sometimes words or phrasing gets changed for rhyming purposes. (e.g. Intergalactic - "I like my sugar with coffee and cream... Gotta keep it going, keep it going full steam...")  Then you have lyrics that just don't make sense from a logical perspective such as the Christmas classic “Do you hear what I hear?”

This song starts off innocent enough, "Said the night wind to the little lamb...Do you see what I see? Way up in the sky little lamb... Do you see what I see?", and goes on to talk about a star. In the second verse it talks about a ‘song high above the trees’ and in the third verse it mentions a shepherd boy speaking to a 'mighty king’. This is where it gets weird.

Here is how the lyrics continue from that point:
In your palace warm mighty king
Do you know what I know
(do you know what I know)
A child, a child
Shivers in the cold
Let us bring him silver and gold
Let us bring him silver and gold

Now don't get me wrong, I love me some silver and gold but if there is a child shivering in the cold, is that really the best thing we could do for him/her?  Perhaps a blanket or a coat would be better? Or, since according to the song, the mighty king has a warm palace, maybe he could offer up a room where the child could stay?  Nope…silver and gold.  And just to make sure it is no mistake, that line is repeated twice. It's a bit like someone telling you their car won't start so you offer them a new TV. Very nice gesture, but jumper cables might be better in this situation.

FLIP IT, FLIP IT FOR REAL
It dawned on me that I failed to update on the results of my game picks based solely on a coin flip. To recap, I'm in a pool where you try to pick the winners of each game each week irrespective of point spreads. In Week 12, I flipped a coin for each game and if it came up heads I picked the home team and if tails I picked the away team. In that week, my picks were 2-14. So the following week, I kept the heads-tails designation the same for home and away, but whichever way it landed meant that team was the losing team. Seems foolproof right? Well, I finished with a record of 9-7 in Week 13 which was well behind the leaders and frankly not much better than a goddamn coin flip. My season record is now 118-104, 29 games behind the first place team. I know what you are thinking... "Jerry-Do you even watch football?" My answer - "Go F yourself, San Diego."


BEST BENCH
Prior to this week, there were only three teams whom had not taken home a Best Bench Award.  The number dips down to two this week, as the Best Bench goes to… the Bubble Craps Bandits!  Timmy could have improved his point total by 53 with only three roster changes:  D. Jackson for D. Amendola (+26), A. Cooper for D. Hopkins (+15) and R. Jennings for L. McCoy (+12).  The two remaining teams who have not been Best Bench?  American BadAss and nextyearautodraft.


It’s the final week!  Merry Christmas!!

Wildcard week dominated by Nextyearautodraft

Jensy's draft strategy for next year.

It is so odd how things can end up and in the first week of the playoffs, two non-playoff teams post the two highest scores for the week!  Sprouts and Nextyearautodraft outscored everyone as only one playoff team, Joe’s Pats, managed to crack triple digits.

Big congratulations this week go to Nextyearautodraft for leading the way and putting up 127 points!  Jens got 58 points from the Manning-Beckham connection (27 for Eli and 31 for ODB), plus both of his runningbacks scored 20 points (DeAngelo Williams and Lamar Miller).  This is Jens’ third Weekly High Score prize of the season after having snagged it in Weeks 7 and 8.  Well done sir!!

In the Wildcard playoff games, both lower seeded teams pulled off upsets with Joe’s Pats knocking off the Midnight Maulers by 13 points and American BadAss pulling out a nail-biter over Coors Light Drunk Guys 78-72.  Joe’s Pats now take on Bubble Crap Bandits and American BadAss will face my Scottish Rebels.

Only two weeks left of the season, who is going to take the championship?!?

Regular Season is Done...Playoff Time!

It's over! Finished! El finito! The regular season is done and six teams will now battle it out in the playoffs!  Here is the seeding:

#1 - Bubble Craps Bandits - Timmy
#2 - Scottish Rebels - Jerry
#3 - Coors Light Drunk Guys - Shawn
#4 - Midnight Maulers - Jamie
#5 - Joe's Pats - Joe
#6 - American BadAss – Jason

Game #1 of the first round matchups will be the Coors Light Drunk Guys vs. American BadAss and Game #2 will be the Midnight Maulers vs. Joe's Pats. The winner of Game #1 will face the Scottish Rebels, and the winner of Game #2 will face the Bubble Craps Bandits. Couple things to remember about the playoffs... first, the Weekly High Score Prize continues each week of the playoffs (Weeks 14, 15 and 16) and all teams are eligible to win. Second, there are no tie games in the playoffs.  If there is a tie in any game prior to the Championship game, the win goes to the higher seeded team.  If there is a tie in the Championship game, the following tie-breakers will be used: 1) Team with the highest scoring QB wins, 2) Team with the highest scoring RB wins, 3) Team with the highest scoring WR wins, 4) lf still tied at that point, co-champions will be declared.

Also, I should point out that the teams who did not make it in to the playoffs will be the first four teams to pick in next season's draft. The order will be: 1) Vandelay lndustries - Louis, 2) sprouts - Russ, 3) SofaKinglucky - James and 4) nextyearautodraft - Jens.  Yahoo! will create matchups next week between these four teams but the outcomes of those games will not affect draft order. The draft order for the playoff teams will be determined by their final standing at the conclusion of the playoffs.

What a way to finish the regular season with a Monday Night game between the Cowboys and Redskins with playoff implications on the line! Defending champion SofaKinglucky needed Darren McFadden to score 12 points, and through 9/10ths of the game he did jack crap. Then when the game appeared to be over (Cowboys just needed to sit on the ball to run the clock out before kicking a field goal), McFadden inexplicably ran in for a TD.  He left more than enough time for the Redskins to score a tying TD, which they did, and it appeared the game was heading to overtime.  Miraculously, the Cowboys managed to get a long kickoff return and kick the game winning field goal with just 6 seconds left. McFadden finished with only 7 points, so not enough to get James into the playoffs.  No repeat champion this year.  Would have been interesting to see what would have happened had the game gone into overtime.

It was a crazy scoring week with nine players posting 30 points or better.  The most players to accomplish that feat in any week prior was six. Somehow though, all of those high scoring players didn't translate to high scores in our league, as this week ranked as only 8th for most points scored this season. My Rebels climbed to the top of the heap for the third time this year with a solid 112-point performance!  It was looking tough without Gronk this week, but Cam Newton came through with 35 points, Antonio Brown had 30, and Javorius (Buck) Allen had 22.  In the process of winning my game and defeating the Coors Light Drunk Guys, I moved into the top spot in the North Division, which is a scenario I had not even considered. My overall record (7-4-2) gives me a win percentage of 0.61538 which ties the Drunk Guys (8-5 = 0.61538), and my divisional win-loss record was 5-3 which was better than Shawn at 3-4, so that put me at the top. What a fantastic week! Let's keep this mojo going!

Onward!

IS GOOD!
-Allen Robinson, WR - Midnight Maulers - 36 pts - With the other Allen out (Hurns) Robinson went nuts on the Titans weak secondary and finished with 153 yards and 3 TD's! Hard to believe, but Robinson has scored in double digits in his last 8 games! He is the 4th ranked wide receiver in fantasy. And he's a Jaguar.

-Ben Roethlisberger, QB - Midnight Maulers - 36 pts - Big Ben was a big man on Sunday night, throwing for 364 yards and 4 TD's plus adding a 2-point conversion. He is averaging nearly 23 ppg. over his last four games.

-Cam Newton, QB - Scottish Rebels - 35 pts - Cam's onslaught continues! He has now crossed the 30-point barrier three times in his last five games and is averaging 26.8 ppg. over that span. Tough matchups ahead as the Panthers play the Falcons twice in their last three games.

-Marcus Mariota, QB - Scottish Rebels - 35 pts - The play of the day was Mariota scrambling 87 yards for a touchdown.  Pretty cool when the fastest guy on the field is a quarterback.

-Russell Wilson, QB - Joe's Pats – 33 pts – Wilson is on an absolute tear!  This is two weeks in a row that he has exceeded 30 points, and he has moved up the rankings to #7 among all quarterbacks.

-Blake Bortles, QB - sprouts - 32 pts - Give it up for Blake Bortles joining the 5-TD club!  He had a great day against Tennessee, throwing for 322 yards, zero interceptions and, yes, 5!! touchdowns!

-Philadelphia, DEF - Midnight Maulers - 30 pts - Would never have predicted this one from the Philly defense playing AT NEW ENGLAND. Here is their final stat line: 4 sacks, 2 interceptions, 2 TD's, 1 blocked kick, plus 1 return TD! Amazing...

-Antonio Brown, WR - Scottish Rebels - 30 pts - Brown caught two TD passes, and ran back a punt for a TD to nearly match his best point total of the season. (He had 31 points in Week 9). With this week's game, Brown is now the #1 ranked wide receiver in fantasy.

-Tom Brady, QB - Bubble Craps Bandits - 30 pts - Pretty good that the Patriots can play their worst game of the season, yet Tom Brady still posts 30 points. He really is the Golden Boy. Timmy-lf you have Chris Drumm's contact info let him know that he is no longer the Golden Boy. Brady is always and forever, the Golden Boy.


MEH...
-Kyle Rudolph, TE - Coors Light Drunk Guys - 1 pt - Not much opportunity for anything as the Seahawks defense dominated the Vikings. Rudolph managed to catch 3 balls for just 13 yards.

-Emmanuel Sanders, WR - Vandelay lndustries - 1 pt - Sanders has shown flashes of brilliance (Week 2 - 20 pts), and flashes of not-much (like this week). Brock Osweiller is no Peyton Manning, but hey, maybe that will be a good thing.

-Adrian Peterson, RB - Joe's Pats - 1 pt - AP only carried the ball 8 times, and gained only 18 yards against the Seahawks. This from a guy who had scored 32 points the week before, and 30 points in Week 10. Maybe he was right when he said that the Vikings got outcoached in "so many ways". What were the coaches thinking? Eight carries?!

-Alfred Morris, RB - Vandelay lndustries - 1 pt - Morris has been a huge bust this season. He has only scored 10 or more points twice (12 pts in Week 2 and 10 pts in Week 10) and currently ranks as the 55th runningback. He got benched on MNF, which the coaches said was "game flow related".  That is coach-speak for "this guy sucks".

-Blair Walsh, K - sprouts- 1 pt - Ah kickers...

-Cairo Santos, K - Bubble Craps Bandits - 1 pt - Why must you be like this?

-Eddie Lacy, RB - nextyearautodraft - 0 pts - Eddie missed a team curfew the night before the Packers' game, so he didn't get to play much.

-Jarvis Landry, WR - American BadAss - 0 pts - Landry only caught 2 passes for 5 yards. Maybe he was out partying the night before with Lacy.

-Houston, DEF - Vandelay lndustries - 0 pts - After four respectable games (14.25 ppg average), the Texans reverted to their early-season ways with this dud. The only thing that saved them from negative points this week was that they managed to record one lonely sack. Yuck.

DEFENSE (clap clap) DEFENSE (clap clap)
My early season prediction about defenses is proving to be a bit too pessimistic.  My prediction was that only 2 or 3 of the top ranked defenses in the preseason would finish the year as top ranked defenses.  Here is how the top 10 preseason defenses ranked for Week 13:

			OVERALL
Rank	Defense/Special Teams	Week 13	RANK
1	Seattle Sea - DEF	Rk #10 - 11 pts	2
2	Buffalo Buf - DEF	Rk #24 - 6 pts	23
3	Houston Hou - DEF	Rk #31 - 0 pts	19
4	Philadelphia Phi - DEF	Rk #1 - 30 pts	8
5	St. Louis StL - DEF	Rk #26 - 5 pts	10
6	Arizona Ari - DEF	Rk #14 - 9 pts	5
7	New England NE - DEF	Rk #29 - 3 pts	17
8	Baltimore Bal - DEF	Rk #17 - 8 pts	15
9	Green Bay GB - DEF	Rk #22 - 6 pts	18
10	Kansas City KC - DEF	Rk #4 - 18 pts	3

The Seahawks continue to be a strong defense, currently ranked #2 overall, as well as the Chiefs (#3 overall), the Cardinals (#5 overall), the Eagles (#8 overall) and the Rams (#10 overall).  So basically half of the top 10 teams from the preseason are in the top 10 now.

This pic highlights the best thing to come out of the Browns season.

WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?
Okay, I know I said that the Browns update from a couple weeks ago would be the last, but I decided to go ahead and see how they finished out the regular season. The Browns are not a playoff team, fantasy-wise or in reality, so this will definitely be the final time we check in on them.

Here is how they did in Week 13:

Austin Davis Cle - QB	5
Isaiah Crowell Cle - RB	6
Duke Johnson Jr. Cle - RB	3
Brian Hartline Cle - WR	8
Darius Jennings Cle - WR	5
Gary Barnidge Cle - TE	5
Travis Coons Cle - K	4
Cleveland Cle - DEF	-1
Total	35

Week 13 was their lowest point total of the season, even including last week when there was only one Browns runningback to score any points.  Alas, the Browns finish the regular season having scored only 784 total points.  That is well below any team in our league this season.  Cleveland Browns – You are not very good at fantasy football.


BEST BENCH
There are some weeks when I am calculating the Best Bench where it just puts a smile on my face.  This is one of those weeks.  First let me tell you that if the winner of the Best Bench this week had put in their optimal lineup, they would have finished with 172 points.  The record for maximum optimal points is held by the Coors Light Drunk Guys, who last season in Week 8 could have scored 190 points (102 points scored with 88 points on the bench).  The record for Best Bench improvement is held by sprouts who had an 89-point improvement possibility in Week 2 of 2009.  This week’s winner came close to that with an 86-point improvement possibility!!  Without further adieu, the Week 13 Best Bench goes to…the Midnight Maulers!

Jamie needed five roster moves to double, yes I said double, his point total from 86 to 172… A. Robinson for A. Jeffery (+28), B. Roethlisberger for M. Stafford (+20), Eagles for Buccaneers (+23), F. Gore for C. Ivory (+10), D. Walker for G. Olsen (+5).


Nothing left now except the PLAYOFFS!!!!!

Week 12 - Third time's a charm for Joe

Only one week left of the regular season, and we still cannot name either a Northern or Southern division champion.  Plus only five of six playoff spots are settled, so there is still a lot up for grabs going into the final week of the regular season. Gotta love it!  Full divisional and wildcard scenarios are listed out below.

But first the big congratulations go out this week to Joe's Pats for posting the 2nd highest score of the season, 134 points, and for being the first team to claim a third Weekly High Score Prize!  Joe had great games from Russell Wilson (34 pts), Adrian Peterson (32 pts) and Brandon Marshall (25 pts). Not bad when the point total from just three of your players (91 pts) outscores all but two teams in the league. Well done sir!! By claiming his third Weekly High Score Prize, Joe is now 'in the money' for this season. Speaking of money, here is a reminder of the prize payouts for this season: Champion - $225, Runner-up - $113, 3rd Place - $67, 4th Place - $45, Weekly High Score Prizes - $50/week. As always, remember that the Weekly High Score Prizes continue through the playoffs and all teams are eligible to win.

Just a quick update this week so let's get to it!


BIG TIME
-Russell Wilson, QB -Joe's Pats - 34 pts - Russell poured it on the Steelers this week, finishing with 345 passing yards and a career-best 5 touchdown passes! He has scored 59 points over the last two weeks, and faces a weak Minnesota secondary this week. Can you say 'must start'?

-Matthew Stafford, QB - Midnight Maulers - 34 pts - Stafford had his best game of the season, and like Wilson, he also had a 5-touchdown game! His came against the floundering Eagles, where he finished with 337 passing yards.

-Doug Baldwin, WR - Free Agent - 32 pts - Coming into this game, Baldwin had only scored in double digits twice this season… in Week 2 and Week 10. He went above and beyond that in this game, hauling in 3 touchdown catches and racking up 145 yards.

-Adrian Peterson, RB - Joe's Pats - 32 pts - Don't look now, but AP is starting to look like AP... He has scored over 30 points twice in the last 3 weeks, and is averaging 22.5 ppg over the last four weeks. Tough tests await him in the next two weeks with Seattle and Arizona coming up.

-Sammy Watkins, WR - Scottish Rebels - 30 pts - Watkins is what you would call a bit 'streaky'. He scored 25 points three weeks ago versus Miami, then scored 1 point against the Jets, then 3 against New England and now 30! Based on that progression, Week 15 should be a big one!!

-Markus Wheaton, WR - Free Agent - 29 pts - Only once this season prior to this week has Wheaton scored in double digits (13 points in Week 5).  Five times he has scored only 1 point, and three times he has been held to zero.  Have to say he outperformed a little bit this week finishing with 201 yards and a touchdown.

-Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB - Free Agent - 29 pts - Four touchdown passes from Fitzy to go along with 277 passing yards and no interceptions. That'll get it done.


WHAT IN THE HEY?
-Pittsburgh, DEF - American BadAss - 2 pts - The Steelers' only productivity came in the form of 2 sacks and a blocked kick. They didn't do much else as they allowed the Seahawks to score 39 points, giving up 5 passing touchdowns in the process.

-Dez Bryant, WR – sprouts - 2pts – Bryant was a non-factor on Thanksgiving and only caught 2 of the passes thrown his way. And now with Romo out…well, don’t expect Dez to suddenly get better.

-LeGarrette Blount, RB - Bubble Craps Bandits - 2 pts - Blount didn't get many chances (9 carries), and didn't do much with them (27 yards). His success comes when he gets in the endzone, but he's only done that twice in his last six games.

-Lamar Miller, RB – Z German Overlords – 1 pt – Miller rushed five times for just 2 yards, and caught three passes for just 11 yards. That is a textbook definition of “non-factor”.

-Philadelphia, DEF - Midnight Maulers - -2 pts - Detroit made Philadelphia just look stupid on Thanksgiving. Philly's final stat line = 2 sacks, 0 Int, 0 Fum Rec, 0 Blk Kick, 0 Safety and 45 points allowed.

PLAYOFFS?! DON'T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!!
There is only one game left of the regular season and here is where we stand. Neither division is a runaway...both division titles (with the accompanying first round byes) are up for grabs. Five teams have already clinched a playoff spot: Coors Light Drunk Guys, Bubble Craps Bandits, Joe's Pats, Midnight Maulers and Scottish Rebels, and two teams are battling for the final wildcard spot: American BadAss and SofaKingLucky.

North Division - The Coors Light Drunk Guys can claim the Northern crown by either winning their game against the Scottish Rebels, or by Z German Overlords defeating Joe's Pats.  If Joe's Pats win and the Coors Light Drunk Guys lose, Joe's Pats will win the crown by virtue of having one fewer loss. My Scottish Rebels can still finish 2nd in the division by winning the final game and having Z German Overlords defeat Joe's Pats.

South Division - The Division champ will be determined in the head-to-head match-up between the Bubble Craps Bandits and the Midnight Maulers. If the game happens to end in a tie, the Bubble Craps Bandits will take the top spot by virtue of having one fewer loss.

Wild Cards - One of the wildcard spots will go to either my Scottish Rebels or Joe's Pats depending on how the North Division finishes out. The other wildcard spot will be settled by the head-to-head matchup between American BadAss and SofaKingLucky. BadAss has the upper hand in this one, wherein if the game finishes in a tie, they will qualify for the playoffs. Z German Overlords have been eliminated from playoff contention, because even if they win their game and end up tied with American BadAss or SofaKinglucky, both of those teams hold the head-to-head tiebreaker versus the Overlords.

As I mentioned last week, Yahoo! uses different tiebreakers for playoff qualification and seeding, so whatever shows up on the website might not be completely accurate. At the conclusion of the Week 13 games, I will send out an email listing out the playoff seeds and matchups.

FLIP IT, FLIP IT FOR REAL
For the past 8 years I have been involved in this NFL pool where participants try to pick the winners of the games each week. The spreads in each game do not matter...only the winning team.  In Week 1 my picks were superb, picking 13 of 16 games correctly and finishing just 1 game behind the winner that week. Since then it has gone bad. Real, real bad.

My overall record has fallen to 91-85 which is 26 games behind the leader. Just a horrendous record, especially considering how much football I watch.

But here's where I may have some hope... Because I am so far out of contention, I’m trying any method I can think of for picking games - picking all home teams, letting Wyatt pick, Magic 8-ball, etc. This last week I borrowed a coin from a buddy at work and let that do my picking. For each game I designated the home team as heads and the visiting team as tails, and whichever way it came up was the team I picked to win.

For Thanksgiving Day games, this method was 0-3. For Sunday morning games, this method was 0-9. For Sunday afternoon games, this method was 0-2.  It wasn't until the Sunday night game, when the Broncos beat the Patriots, that this method got me my first correct pick. (And honestly the Patriots should have won that game...) On Monday night, the coin's pick was Baltimore, which was correct, but just barely. Alas, the coin's final record was 2-14.

Not a good record, but what if I just misinterpreted the information that the coin was giving me? Maybe the coin was picking the losers instead of the winners? If I had just switched that around, I would have finished the week 14-2 and would have won the week!

So guess what my method is going to be for this week? Oh yeah, you know it! The coin is still sitting in my desk drawer at work and on Wednesday I will use it to tell me which teams are going to lose the games, and will make my selections accordingly. Check back here next week for the results...


BEST BENCH
Going into this week there had been 6 different teams that have either won or tied for a Best Bench. The teams that have not carried this dubious distinction are: Z German Overlords, Bubble Crap Bandits, Vandelay Industries, and my Scottish Rebels. Well, that list shrinks by one this week as the Best Bench goes to... my Scottish Rebels.

My bench tied for the 3rd highest Best Bench total this season! With four roster moves, my point total would have improved by 52 points!... S. Watkins for A. Brown (+25 pts), S. Ware for D. Murray (+14 pts), J. Allen for C. Johnson (+12 pts) and M. Mariota for C. Newton (+1 pt).

It'll get you drunk!!

How low can you go? Week 11 goes down as the lowest overall scoring week of the season (only 689 points scored), and the second lowest overall scoring week in Sacred Sundays history. The lowest scoring week of all-time happened in Week 16 of 2007 when only 644 points were scored.  In that week, only 5 teams scored 70 points or better. This week nearly matched that with only six teams managing to score 70 points or better.

This image should make Shawn happy...

The team that managed to climb to the top of this crap pile was the Coors Light Drunk Guys, who posted 85 points. This is the lowest Weekly High Score in Sacred Sundays history, beating a record that has stood since Week 3, 2008 when James, Jason & James all tied for the high score at 88. This week the Drunk Guys got 71% of their scoring from only three players, Carson Palmer (24 pts), Mason Crosby (22 pts!) and Tyler Eifert (14 pts). Let's hear it for the kicker being the 2nd highest scoring player on Shawn's roster! This is Shawn's second Weekly High Score Prize of the season, having previously claimed the prize in Week 5. Also with the win, the Coors Light Drunk Guys have assured a spot in the playoffs! Good job Shawn! F 'n' A!!

Parity has been strong in the league this season, as we have had six different Weekly High Score Prize winners so far, and no one has been the high scorer more than twice.  In terms of league standings, the Coors Light Drunk Guys lead the way with eight wins, but then it gets tight as there are three teams with six wins, two teams with five wins and three teams with four or fewer wins. With only two weeks left of the regular season, it is time to take a deep dive into playoff scenarios! More on that below. Plus this week, I get something off my chest that has been annoying me about all day breakfast at McDonalds. But first some quick observations...

THE GOOD
-Thomas Rawls, RB - Free Agent - 39 pts - It's not very often that a free agent is the top scorer of the week. Rawls annihilated the 49ers defense while filling for an injured Marshawn Lynch, racking up 255 total yards (209 rush, 45 rec) and 2 TD's (1 rushing, 1 receiving). One more performance like this and we may have seen the last of Beast Mode.

-Cam Newton, QB - Scottish Rebels - 30 pts - Over the last three weeks, Newton is averaging 27.3 ppg. He set a personal record this week by tossing 5 touchdown passes!

-Jameis Winston, QB - Free Agent - 29 pts - Another QB who tossed five touchdown passes on Sunday. Winston is actually shaping up to be a "not bad" quarterback, and currently ranks as the 11th QB in all of fantasy.

-Doug Martin, RB - sprouts - 26 pts - Great day yardage-wise for Muscle Hamster, rumbling for 235 yards, but somehow with all that yardage he did not cross the goalline.

-Russell Wilson, QB - Joe's Pats - 25 pts - Russell had his best game of the season, and scored over 20 points for the first time since Week 2.  In all he finished with 250 passing yards, 30 rushing yards and 3 passing TD's.

THE NOT
-Philadelphia, DEF - Midnight Maulers - 1 pt – First the good part… Philly recorded a fumble recovery and one sack.  And now the bad… they gave up 39 points in the process. Yikes!

-Richard Rodgers, TE - Z German Overlords - 0 pts - To his credit, Rodgers did catch 3 of the 5 passes thrown his way.  But, those 3 catches only added up to 7 yards. Wow…that is weak.

-Amari Cooper, WR - Bubble Craps Bandits - 0 pts - Here is the headline on Cooper, which pretty well sums up his day: "1 catch, 4 yards, two drops".

-Blair Walsh, K - sprouts - 0 pts - Walsh's only activity on the day was attempting 2 extra points... one he made and one he missed.

-Danny Woodhead, RB - Coors Light Drunk Guys - 0 pts - The Chargers had zero offense against the Chiefs. Woodhead rushed 6 times and had an average per carry of 1.17 yards.  I'll save you the trouble of doing the math... he only got 7 yards.

-Antonio Gates, TE - SofaKinglucky - 0 pts - This is the sixth time this season that Gates has been bageled. This week he caught one pass for six yards. Puh-theh-tick.


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #1
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

PLAYOFFS?!  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!
As a refresher, here are the rules for the playoffs: Six teams will qualify for the playoffs, and the playoffs will run in Weeks 14, 15 and 16. The top two teams in each division automatically qualify, with the top team in each division receiving a first round bye. The remaining two spots will be awarded as wildcards to the top two remaining teams. Here are the tiebreakers used in determining division standings and wildcard standings:
Division Standings:
1) Overall record
2) Division record
3) Head-to-head record
4) Points scored
5) Coin flip

Wild Card Standing:
1) Overall record
2) Head-to-head record
3) Points scored
4) Coin flip

Note 1 - These differ from what Yahoo! uses as their default, so don't look at the website for tiebreak rules. These are the tiebreakers that we will use.
Note 2 - We have never gotten down to the coin flip tie-breaker... if we ever do, I will make it a live broadcast event!

On to team by team playoff qualification scenarios... if my calculations are correct, getting to seven wins will qualify a team for the playoffs, so that means that the Coors Light Drunk Guys and the Bubble Craps Bandits are in. They are only playing to earn the bye week. Here are how the rest of the teams shake out:

In Control of Own Fate:
Scottish Rebels - Win one of next two games.
Joe's Pats - Win one of next two games.
Midnight Maulers - Win one of next two games.
American BadAss - Win two games OR win one game PLUS one loss from Z German Overlords.
Z German Overlords - Win two games OR win one game PLUS two losses from American BadAss.

In Need of Some Help:

SofaKingLucky - Win two games PLUS two losses from American BadAss AND one loss from Z German Overlords.

All Hope is Gone:
sprouts
Vandelay lndustries
Unfortunately, try as I might I could not work a scenario where sprouts or Vandelay qualify for the playoffs.

Bear in mind that the scenarios illustrated above only represent one possible scenario for each team to qualify for the playoffs. There are likely many more. And remember that the Weekly High Score Prize continues every week even through the playoffs, and all teams are eligible to win. So make sure you have your best lineup in every week!

MCDONALD's RANT
In case you didn't know already, McDonald's has started serving breakfast all day. Along with that they have also started a very annoying ad campaign where they act as if frying eggs at night is a wholly unheard of concept and all their customers are idiots for never thinking of it before. Sorry Ron...you guys are the ones who are behind the times.

First off, the arbitrary cut-off time McDonald's had for their breakfast menu was entirely their own construct. There is not a law deeming 10:31 to be the start of lunchtime. Second, nearly all fast food places that serve breakfast serve it all day long already. Not a new concept there. This goes along with a multitude of sit down restaurants like Village lnn, IHOP, and 500,000 diners across the country that have happily been slinging flapjacks for dinner since the invention of the spatula.

McDonald's should have used this ad campaign to poke fun at themselves (who doesn't love some good self-deprecating humor?) for not realizing that people eat breakfast at all times throughout the day. But instead they are trying to make it seem as though they are the pioneers of some never-before-thought-of idea. "First we changed how you thought about breakfast...now it's time to change when." What an arrogant freakin' tag line. Much better would have been "Breakfast happens on your schedule, not ours. Enjoy breakfast all day at McDonald's. (p.s. Sorry it took us so long to figure out something so goddamn simple)". That last part of the tagline might be a bit long, but I'm just brainstorming here...


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #2
When cannibals ate the missionary, they got a taste of religion.


WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?
This will be my final check in on the Browns this season. As you recall, there was not a single Browns player who was drafted in our league so I have been tracking their progress to see if we were wise for avoiding them. The best game for the Browns came in Week 5 where they totaled 107 points, which was more than any team in the league that week.
Since then it has not been a happy picture, as they have not scored more than 66 points any week. Here is how they fared in Week 10, as they were on a bye this last week:

Johnny Manziel Cle - QB	18
Duke Johnson Jr. Cle - RB	3
Isaiah Crowell Cle - RB	0
Travis Benjamin Cle - WR	11
Brian Hartline Cle - WR	7
Gary Barnidge Cle - TE	12
Travis Coons Cle - K	2
Cleveland Cle - DEF	6
Total	59

The bright spots for this team are clearly Gary Barnidge (4th ranked TE in fantasy), and Travis Benjamin (16th ranked WR in fantasy) and not much else. I would say we were right for avoiding the Browns.

DEFENSE , DEFENSE
All season long I have been tracking defenses to see how closely reality matches up with their preseason Yahoo! ranking. My prediction was, and l'm quoting from my post-draft write-up dated 8-21-2015,
“…there will be 2 or 3 highly ranked preseason defenses that finish as highly ranked defenses and the remaining 29 teams will be a big jumble.”
Here is the full preseason ranking of all 32 teams, and whether they are exceeding expectations, right in line with expectations or failing expectations.
(Note - I considered a team within 2 spots of their preseason rank to be "IN LINE" with expectations.)

Pre		Actual	Pre vs.
Rank	Defense	Rank	Act	Note
1	Seattle Sea	2	(1)	IN LINE
2	Buffalo Buf	19	(17)	FAILING
3	Houston Hou	18	(15)	FAILING
4	Philadelphia Phi	9	(5)	FAILING
5	St. Louis StL	7	(2)	IN LINE
6	Arizona Ari	5	1	IN LINE
7	New England NE	11	(4)	FAILING
8	Baltimore Bal	24	(16)	FAILING
9	Green Bay GB	14	(5)	FAILING
10	Kansas City KC	3	7	EXCEED
11	San Francisco SF	32	(21)	FAILING
12	Carolina Car	4	8	EXCEED
13	Indianapolis Ind	21	(8)	FAILING
14	Miami Mia	17	(3)	FAILING
15	Detroit Det	23	(8)	FAILING
16	Cleveland Cle	26	(10)	FAILING
17	Denver Den	1	16	EXCEED
18	Minnesota Min	15	3	EXCEED
19	Dallas Dal	28	(9)	FAILING
20	Cincinnati Cin	12	8	EXCEED
21	Pittsburgh Pit	9	12	EXCEED
22	New York NYG	6	16	EXCEED
23	Tampa Bay TB	8	15	EXCEED
24	Chicago Chi	30	(6)	FAILING
25	Jacksonville Jax	25	0	IN LINE
26	Atlanta Atl	22	4	EXCEED
27	San Diego SD	31	(4)	FAILING
28	Tennessee Ten	20	8	EXCEED
29	New York NYJ	15	14	EXCEED
30	New Orleans NO	29	1	IN LINE
31	Washington Was	13	18	EXCEED
32	Oakland Oak	27	5	EXCEED

My prediction is pretty close with three Top 10 teams in line with pre-season rankings (Seattle, St. Louis and Arizona), and one team exceeding (Kansas City).  I said there would be 2 or 3, and thru 11 weeks there are four.  Will be interesting to see how this finishes for the season.


BEST QB HAS WORST FANTASY DAY
Peyton Manning is one of the best quarterbacks to ever play in the NFL. However, last week he posted an absolutely atrocious stat line, one so bad that it has only been outdone one other time since l've been keeping records on this stuff.
Against the Chiefs on 11/15, Manning tallied only 35 yards on 20 attempts and threw 4 interceptions before being benched. This gave him a fantasy score of -7. This is a guy who has thrown 7 touchdowns in a game and scored 49 points. Heck, his average points per game last season was 20.5. This was truly an appalling performance, and one I'm sure Peyton would not like to remember.

In case you are wondering, the worst game in Sacred Sundays history was accomplished by John Skelton quarterbacking the Cardinals in Week 14, 2012.  In that game, he had only 74 yards passing, while tossing 4 interceptions and losing a fumble, finishing with a fantasy score of -8 points. So Peyton you were really bad last week, but at least you were not as bad as Skelton.


BEST BENCH
With the low scoring rosters this week you would think that there were a lot of points left on the bench. Well, you would be wrong. Surprisingly, there were not a lot of improvements to be had this week. But one team did rise to the occasion with a 43-point improvement possibility...Joe's Pats! Joe only needed three roster moves to make it happen:  R. Wilson for D. Carr (+19), J. Jones for TY Hilton (+16) and Packers for Jets (+8).


We are getting down to the nitty gritty... only two more weeks until it's PLAYOFF TIME!! Also, we are finally done with bye weeks, so all non-injured players will be active!

Joe's Pats Roar to Life!

There are only four weeks left of the regular season, and the standings have never been closer!  The most wins so far is 7 (held by Coors Light Drunk Guys), then two teams have 5 wins, five teams have 4 wins, one team has 3 wins and one has 2 wins.  Only the top six make it in to the playoffs, and as of now it seems like any team still has a shot.

This week, the congratulations go to Joe’s Pats who bested their total from last week by more than double (51 points last week to 117 this week), and claimed their first Weekly High Score Prize of the season!  Joe got big performances from Derek Carr (26 pts), Adrian Peterson (19 pts), the New York Jets Defense (17 pts) and Jeremy Langford *who?!* (22 pts).  Langford is a runningback for the Bears who piled up 142 total yards and a TD on MNF.  With the win, Joe becomes the sixth person to win a Weekly High Score Prize this season.  Way to go, Joe!

Just a quick update this week, where we’ll check in on team defenses and the Browns and award a Best Bench that almost took a full roster swap…


WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?!
The Browns really blew their load in Week 5 when they scored 107 points, because they haven’t even come close to that again.  Their weekly point totals since then have been 66, 45, 64 and now 42 this week:

Johnny Manziel Cle - QB	13
Duke Johnson Jr. Cle - RB	9
Isaiah Crowell Cle - RB	5
Dwayne Bowe Cle - WR	3
Travis Benjamin Cle - WR	2
Gary Barnidge Cle - TE	3
Travis Coons Cle - K	4
Cleveland Cle - DEF	3
Total	42

Pretty rough when Manziel is your highest scoring player with only 13 points…  Year to date the Browns have scored 621 points which would rank them as the 9th highest scoring team in our league.  We’ll see how this shakes out for the year, but it appears that not drafting Browns wasn’t a terrible thing after all.

DE-FENSE , DE-FENSE
At the start of the season I predicted that a few of the highly ranked defenses in the preseason would end up being good and the rest would be a jumble.  So far it looks like it is a 50/50 split.  Here are the Top 10 Defenses in the preseason rankings, along with how they currently rank:

			OVERALL
Rank	Defense/Special Teams	Week 9	RANK
1	Seattle Sea - DEF	Rk #26 - 0 pts	2
2	Buffalo Buf - DEF	Rk #12 - 7 pts	22
3	Houston Hou - DEF	Rk #30 - 0 pts	25
4	Philadelphia Phi - DEF	Rk #3 - 12 pts	6
5	St. Louis StL - DEF	Rk #19 - 3 pts	4
6	Arizona Ari - DEF	Rk #27 - 0 pts	5
7	New England NE - DEF	Rk #8 - 9 pts	9
8	Baltimore Bal - DEF	Rk #31 - 0 pts	27
9	Green Bay GB - DEF	Rk #32 - -1 pts	12
10	Kansas City KC - DEF	Rk #28 - 0 pts	12

Seattle, Philadelphia, St. Louis, Arizona and New England are all currently ranked in the Top 10, Green Bay and K.C. are just outside of it, but Buffalo, Houston and Baltimore are waaay down.

Here is the current Top 10 Defenses along with their preseason ranking:

Actual Rank	Defense/Special Teams	Actual Pts	Pre-Rank
1	Denver Den - DEF	125	17
2	Seattle Sea - DEF	98	1
3	New York NYG - DEF	97	22
4	St. Louis StL - DEF	94	5
5	Arizona Ari - DEF	91	6
6	Philadelphia Phi - DEF	81	4
6	Carolina Car - DEF	81	12
8	Pittsburgh Pit - DEF	75	21
9	New England NE - DEF	74	7
10	Cincinnati Cin - DEF	72	20

Denver, New York Giants, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati came out of nowhere, and Carolina is having a good showing as well.  Five of the current top 10 teams ranked inside the top 10 in the preseason and five ranked outside the top 10.  I'll draw some meaningful conclusions from this in the coming weeks.

BEST BENCH
When you leave players in your active roster who are on a bye, you really increase your odds of being Best Bench.  The Coors Light Drunk Guys left the Arizona defense in the game, and the Midnight Maulers had two bye players playing.  In the end, that was enough to make Jamie this week’s Best Bench!  Jamie could have improved his point total by 55 points with a five player roster swap: B. Roethlisberger for M. Stafford (+21), A. Vinatieri for S. Hauschka (+12), D. Walker for G. Olsen (+11), A. Robinson for A. Green (+7) and the Eagles for the Falcons (+4).


Four more games until the playoffs!  What, don’t talk about playoffs.. PLAYOFFS?!?

Z Germans Dominate! Plus midterms!

Eight weeks of the 2015 season are already done, which means that it is time to hand out midterm grades! Last season I handed out stock grades to each team, but this season I’m getting back to the strict bell curve which means that there will be 2-A’s, 3-B's, 3-C's and 2-D's. Defending champ SofaKinglucky received a “HOLD” grade at midterms last year, but I’m not quite sure what that means.  SofaKing had a record of 3-5 in Week 8 and went on to take it all… so where you are now doesn’t really matter.  The categories and criteria used for establishing the grades this year were: keeper production, draft quality, total points scored, and overall record.

Before we get into that, I have to give out double congratulations to Z German Overlords who claimed their second Weekly High Score Prize in as many weeks! Jens got his guys pumped up for the "What Do You Know?!? Bowl" last week, and that fiery intensity continued this week as the Overlords posted an impressive 126 points. The Overlord wide receivers accounted for 54 points (Odell Beckham - 31 pts and Julio Jones - 23 pts), plus their kicker (Justin Tucker) tacked on 20 points. It didn't even matter that the Overlord tight end (Richard Rogers) only had 1-point...total domination everywhere else! Last week, Jens was the only team to crack triple digits, mostly thanks to a 38-point game from Lamar Miller and a 26-point game from the St. Louis defense. That victory against the Coors Light Drunk Guys last week puts the "What Do You Know?!? Bowl" series record at 7-6 in favor of Mr. Bolleyer.  Jens - Nice work!!  Shawn – How could you let this happen?!  What do YOOOOUUUU KNOW??!??

In the matchups this week, the highest scoring game by far was between the Bubble Crap Bandits and the Coors Light Drunk Guys with the Drunk Guys narrowly pulling out a 120-117 victory. The reason I point this out is because this is the first time this season that a team has scored over 100 points and not netted a victory. Prior to that game, teams had scored over 100 15 times with all resulting in victory. (Historically speaking, scoring over 100 points results in a victory 88.1% of the time.)  The victory percentage for this season now stands at 94.1%.  Since 2007, 2008 is the only season where no team scored over 100 points and lost… I was hoping we were going to see that again this year, but alas.

As far as the standings go, the Coors Light Drunk Guys are in the driver's seat for the #1 playoff seed and Vandelay lndustries is eyeing the #1 draft choice for 2016, but other than that everything is wide open.  Three teams have 4 wins, and four teams have 3 wins, so there is only 1 game separating 7 teams.  Should be an interesting finish!

This week, along with handing out midterm grades, I get to give out two Best Bench awards! Onward!

FANTASY PERFECTION
QB - Drew Brees - Coors Light Drunk Guys - 49 pts - Really wanted to see this game go into overtime to see if Brees could have thrown one more TD to set the single-game NFL record with 8. I guess he'll have to just be happy with throwing only 7 TD passes in the game. In case you are wondering, this ties the record for best performance by a QB in Sacred Sundays history (Peyton Manning & Michael Vick have also scored 49), and it was only 5 points off the record for most points ever by a player in a single week, held by Doug Martin.

RB - Todd Gurley - sprouts - 20 pts - Gurley should change his name to Manley because he is absolutely killing it over his last four games - 15 pts, 18 pts, 27 pts and now 20 pts. His last game was against the 49ers but still, he has now set the NFL record for most rushing yards in a player's first four career starts.

RB - Ronnie Hillman - Scottish Rebels - 18 pts - He only managed to gain 50 yards on the ground, but he found the endzone twice versus the Packers!  Oh yeah!

WR - Odell Beckham Jr - Z German Overlords - 31 pts - ln a game where there were 13 TD passes thrown, you know a receiver had to have had a big game. OBJ delivered on that, hauling in 3 TD catches and amassing 130 yards.

WR - Julio Jones - Z German Overlords - 23 pts - Jones racked up 99 yards in the first half and finished with 162 yards and a TD. He also caught 12 of 13 passes thrown his way.

TE - Benjamin Watson - Free Agent - 20 pts - Perhaps tight ends just do well in New Orleans? Watson hauled in 9-of-10 passes thrown his way, and rumbled for 147 yards and a TD.

K - Justin Tucker - Z German Overlords - 20 pts - Tucker was 5-for-5 on field goal attempts (including 3 from 40-49) and 2-for-2 on PAT's.

DEF - Houston - Vandelay lndustries - 21 pts - Who knew the Texans defense would finally show up? They got to face Zach Mettenberger, who is starting in place of the injured Marcus Mariota, and finished with 7 sacks, 1 interception, 2 fumble recoveries and only allowed 6 points. If only they could play the Titans every week...


FANTASY FAILURE
QB - Aaron Rodgers - American BadAss - 6 pts - Rodgers came into this game averaging over 20 ppg, but could not get anything going. He finished with only 77 yards passing, plus lost a fumble that was recovered for a safety.

RB – Christine Michael – Vandelay lndustries – 2 pts – No this isn't a chick playing football... it is actually a dude named Christine. And no, he did not have a good game.

RB - Giovani Bernard - Vandelay lndustries - 3 pts - Bernard actually averaged 11.3 yards each time he touched the ball...unfortunately he only touched the ball three times.

WR – Travis Benjamin – sprouts – 2 pts – After a red-hot start to the season, Benjamin has posted 2 points two weeks in a row.

WR - Emmanuel Sanders - Vandelay lndustries - 2 pts - This was Sanders worst production of the season, as he took a back seat to Demaryius Thomas. He ended up with only 2 catches for 22 yards.

TE - Richard Rodgers - Z German Overlords - 1 pt - Denver shut down both Rodgers this week, stifling this Rodgers to the tune of 2 catches for only 15 yards.

K – Stephen Hauschka – Midnight Maulers – 7 pts – Hauschka was the lowest scoring of the active kickers this week, only connecting on 2 short field goals and 1 PAT.

DEF - New York Jets - Joe's Pats - (-)1 pts - The Jets recorded no sacks, no interceptions, no fumble recoveries, no blocked kicks and gave up 34 points. No they weren't playing the Patriots...that was against the Oakland Raiders.  Whew...that's bad.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #1
The midget fortune teller who escaped prison was a small medium at large.


MID TERM GRADES
Mid-term grades were based on four categories this season: Keeper Production, Draft Quality, Points Scored and Overall Record.  For each category, all teams were ranked and those that ranked #1 received 10 points, #2 received 9 points, and so on down to the 10th ranked team receiving 1 point for the category.  If teams were tied at any position the points were divided between the teams.  The total points earned by each team then determined their grade on the bell curve (2 A’s, 3 B’s, 3 C’s, and 2 D’s).  Scores for each category and overall grades are listed below…

Bubble Crap Bandits – Timmy
Keepers - 10
Draft - 6.5
Pts Scored - 10
Record – 9
The Bandits have scored the most points and have the second best record.  Also, the keepers for the Bandits have been the best when looking at average points per week and overall ranking.  Timmy could have issues going forward since Jamaal Charles is out for the year, but this grade is for what has happened up to this point in the season.
Grade – A

Coors Light Drunk Guys – Shawn
Keepers - 3
Draft - 9
Pts Scored - 6
Record – 10
The Drunk Guys have the best record in the league and has scored the fifth most points.  Shawn gets a bonus on his draft points for picking up Devonta Freeman off of waivers.  That was huge.  Bad luck with Foster as a keeper knocked the score down there.
Grade – A

Midnight Maulers – Jamie
Keepers - 7
Draft - 6.5
Pts Scored - 8
Record - 5.5
The Maulers have scored the third most points this year and have collected two Weekly High Score prizes.  Frank Gore and Jonathan Stewart have been a pleasant surprise as keepers.
Grade – B

American BadAss – Jason
Keepers - 4.5
Draft - 8
Pts Scored - 7
Record – 4
ABA gets a boost in the Draft category thanks to drafting Philip Rivers in the 10th round and the Denver defense in the 14th round.  Also, ABA has the fourth most points scored so far this season.
Grade – B

Scottish Rebels – Jerry
Keepers - 4.5
Draft - 4
Pts Scored - 9
Record - 5.5
My Rebels get a boost in the Points category thanks to a blistering start where I nabbed the first two Weekly High Score Prizes of the season.  My draft was horrible where some of my picks were actually for Colin Kaepernick, Nelson Algohor (who?!) and Vernon Davis.
Grade – B

Joe’s Pats – Joe
Keepers - 9
Draft - 3
Pts Scored - 3
Record - 7.5
Having keepers of TY Hilton and Russell Wilson for 7th and 9th round picks has paid off handsomely for Joe.  But Joe had a tough draft, with AP not producing like he was expected, and using a 4th round pick on Andre Ellington.
Grade – C

SofaKingLucky – James
Keepers - 7
Draft - 1
Pts Scored - 4
Record - 7.5
The King had about the worst draft you could have, picking players like Mike Evans in the 3rd round, DeSean Jackson in the 6th, Victor Cruz in the 9th, Tony Romo in the 7th, RGIII in the 11th… Aaaahh!   Thankfully your keepers (Bell and Lynch) have been solid.
Grade – C

Z German Overlords – Jens
Keepers - 1
Draft - 10
Pts Scored - 5
Record - 2.5
Eddie Lacy is the 42nd ranked runningback in the league.  Not what you want to get for a first round keeper.  Also, the record of 3-5 did not help the point total.  But Jens had a spectacular draft, nabbing Julio Jones, Lamar Miller, Eli Manning and Matt Ryan.
Grade – C

Vandelay Industries – Louis
Keepers - 7
Draft - 3
Pts Scored - 1
Record – 1
Vandelay Industries has the lowest point total and the worst record in the league.  Draft picks of Julius Thomas in the 5th and Ray Rice in the 11th didn’t help either.
Grade – D

Sprouts – Russ
 Keepers - 2
Draft - 2
Pts Scored - 2
Record - 2.5
Sprouts has the second lowest point total of the season and the second worst record in the league.  Peyton Manning ranks as the 28th QB in the league and Randall Cobb is the 30th WR…rough for 1st and 4th round keepers.  Also, early draft picks of Dez Bryant (2nd round), Jimmy Graham (3rd round) and Latavius Murray (5th round) haven’t worked out as hoped.
Grade – D


ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #2
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationary.

BEST BENCH(ES)
Shawn Martin, you are just awesome man.  You have the best record in the league, and added your fifth Best Bench in Week 7.  That means that you should have the best record and the most points scored.  Week 7 was only a modest improvement of 25 points with three roster changes… M. Crabtree for A. Boldin (+9), D. Woodhead for D. Freeman (+9), and C. Palmer for D. Brees (+7).

This week’s Best Bench was the lowest point improvement possibility of the season at only 23 points.  Somehow everyone managed to have pretty decent lineups in the game.  But the Week 8 Best Bench goes to.. SofaKingLucky!  James needed four roster changes to get it done… E. Decker for M. Evans (+8), S. Diggs for S. Smith (+7), M. Ingram for L. Bell (+6), and D. McFadden for M. Lynch (+2).


Only five more weeks until the playoffs begin!!  Say whaaat??