In the Week 2 matchups, we had 2 games decided by 5 points or less, 2 decided by 30 points or more, and are left with only 2 undefeated teams and 2 winless teams. Last season three teams made it undefeated through Week 2, and we saw the final undefeated team lose by Week 4. Sofa King Back who romped in Week 1, fell off a cliff this week and finished with only 61 points…less than half of their Week 1 league-leading score of 124 points. The Bubble Craps Bandits went the other way, more than doubling their point total from last week (60) en route to a dominating victory over Vandelay Industries 121-74. It looked like Timmy had the Weekly High Score Prize all but wrapped up, until the Chicago defense picked off a Russell Wilson pass on MNF and ran it in for a TD, vaulting Joe’s Pats into the Week 2 top spot!!
Joe had an amazing game from Kirk Cousins (36 pts), and Todd Gurley (29 pts), plus racked up 31 points from his wide receivers (Hilton and Hopkins). Joe’s worst player this week, ironically, was his lone Patriot, Rob Gronkowski, who had an abysmal game scoring only 1 point. The victory moved Joe’s Pats record to 1-1, but in first place for total points scored (209). Well done sir!Just a quick write up this week, where we will take an early season look at keeper production and, of course, award the Best Bench. Let’s do this!
BIG TIME BOOYAH!
- Ben Roethlisberger, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 41 pts – Big Ben chucked the ball 60 times, completed 42 passes for 452 yards, 3 TD’s, plus added a rushing TD and it still wasn’t enough to beat the Chiefs. And while this was a big scoring game for Big Ben, he actually scored 47 points back in Week 8-2014, when he had 522 passing yards and 6 TD’s!
- Patrick Mahomes, QB – Bubble Craps Bandits – 38 pts – Simply amazing… 326 yards and 6, yes 6!!! touchdown passes. And if you haven’t already heard this stat, here it is one more time…Mahomes now holds the NFL record for most TD passes in his first two games with 10. Timmy also holds a new record, as it was the most times he's jizzed in his pants during a football game.
- Kirk Cousins, QB – Joe’s Pats – 36 pts – 425 yards, 4 TD’s, a 2-pt conversion, an interception and a tie game.
- Blake Bortles, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 35 pts – Interesting fact-Blake Bortles now has more victories vs. the Patriots (1) than Tom Brady does (0). Also did you know – Blake Bortles and Tom Brady have combined for 4 Super Bowl titles, 2 NFL MVP awards and 10 Pro Bowl appearances. Impressive!
- Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB – Free Agent – 33 pts – What does a guy have to do to earn a roster spot? Fitzperfect now leads all fantasy scorers with a 35.5 point-per-week average, as he racked up another 402 yards and 4 TD’s this weekend. Someone needs to pull the trigger or I will!
- Todd Gurley, RB – Joe’s Pats – 29 pts – Gurley is a man baby! He only needed 42 yards to rack up 3 TD’s, plus added 30 yards receiving. Oh yeah, and had two 2-point conversions.
COME ON MAN!
- Houston, DEF – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – The Texans basically showed up to this game, and didn’t do much else, as their only notable stat (along with giving up 20 points) was a single sack.
- Jack Doyle, TE – Already PlayingForFirstPick – 2 pts – Two catches for 20 yards is actually probably one of Jack Doyle’s better games.
- Larry Fitzgerald, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – Larry led the Cardinals in receiving and accounted for over 30% of their passing offense. Unfortunately, this meant he had 28 of the Cardinals’ 90 yards passing. Things are bad in Arizona.
- Chris Boswell, K – Vandelay Industries – 2 pts – In a high scoring game versus the Chiefs you would expect kickers to rack up the points, but Boswell missed his only field goal attempt and missed an extra point.
- Rob Gronkowski, TE – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt - The Jags shut Gronk down in a big way… 2 catches for only 15 yards.
- Baltimore, DEF – Longshanks – -1 pts – In 2018 there have been thus far 4 defenses who posted negative point totals, and 3 of those have been on an active roster. How does that happen?
KEEPER CHECK-IN
We are only two weeks into the season, so this really is too early to pass judgement on keepers, but I wanted to give a production update on keepers. Sofa King Back has had the toughest time with keepers, as neither one (Le’Veon Bell or Jerick McKinnon) has scored any points due to contract holdouts and injuries. Other keepers stricken by the injury bug are Devonta Freeman (CL Drunk Guys), Leonard Fournette (sprouts) and Carson Wentz (Longshanks).
The team with the best keeper production so far is returning champ Joe’s Pats with Todd Gurley (48) and DeAndre Hopkins (24), followed by Vandelay Industries with Alvin Kamara (44) and Antonio Brown (21).
Here is the full listing of keeper production so far:
| Team | Owner | Keeper | Points |
| Joe's Pats | Joe | Todd Gurley II | 48 |
| DeAndre Hopkins | 24 | ||
| Vandelay Industries | Rob | Antonio Brown | 21 |
| Alvin Kamara | 44 | ||
| Young Guns | John | JuJu Smith | 29 |
| Deshaun Watson | 33 | ||
| CL Drunk Guys | Shawn | Devonta Freeman | 4 |
| Drew Brees | 51 | ||
| American BadAss | Jason | Ezekiel Elliott | 26 |
| David Johnson | 16 | ||
| Bubble Craps Bandits | Timmy | Travis Kelce | 22 |
| Kareem Hunt | 17 | ||
| Finders Keepers | Jens | Jimmy Garoppolo | 24 |
| Alex Collins | 13 | ||
| sprouts | Russ | Odell Beckham Jr. | 16 |
| Leonard Fournette | 5 | ||
| Longshanks | Jerry | Baltimore | 17 |
| Carson Wentz | 0 | ||
| Sofa King Back | James | Le'Veon Bell | 0 |
| Jerick McKinnon | 0 |
BEST BENCH
This week’s lowest scoring game produced the two contenders for Best Bench. In the game itself, the Coors Light Drunk Guys edged Sofa King Back by 4 points (65-61) and for Best Bench the Drunk Guys also edged King by 2! In the end, Coors Light Drunk Guys could have improved their point total this week by a solid 31 points! Shawn needed only three roster moves to get there: B. Roethlisberger for D. Brees (+24), Jacksonville for Houston (+4) and C. Davis for L. Fitzgerald (+3).
Week 3 means we are only 3 weeks away from playoff predictions!
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