The latex industry is booming! Vandelay Industries has claimed the 2016
Sacred Sundays championship, knocking off Young Guns 116-97 in a competitive
back-and-forth finale! It all came down
to the Monday Night Cowboys-Lions game, where Vandelay had a tight end and
kicker playing and Young Guns had a kicker.
Funny how after everything this season, it came down to the two least
significant positions (TE and K) to settle it all. Both teams in the finale brought their best,
with Vandelay Industries only having a +3 point improvement possibility from
the bench and Young Guns only having a +4 point improvement possibility. Great game, gentlemen, and congratulations to
both of you!
To go along with claiming the grand prize, Vandelay
Industries also took the final Weekly High Score Prize of the season, narrowly
edging American BadAss and Bubble Craps Bandits by 1 point (116 to 115). Vandelay had big games from Russell Wilson
(36 pts), Lesean McCoy (19 pts), and Antonio Brown (15 pts). Last season, Joe’s Pats accomplished the same
feat of winning both the championship game and the Weekly High Score Prize, so
I’m starting to see a trend. But it was
good to see all of the high scores this week (5 teams scored in triple
figures), after the last several low scoring weeks. Week 16 ended up as the highest scoring week
of 2016 (977 total points scored), and actually ranks as the 7th
highest scoring week of all time. For
Vandelay Industries, it was their highest scoring week of the season, earning
Louis a 2nd Weekly High Score Prize.
Well done sir! Way to bring it
when it counts!!
Okay, so this week we’ll take a look at the final money
tally, unpack a few random odds and ends from this season, and crown the final
Best Bench!
Let’s go!
EVERYONE NEEDS MONEY…THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT MONEY
Here is a final tally on prize money:
|
MONEY TOTAL
|
|
Weekly High
|
Playoffs
|
Total
|
|
1
|
Louis
|
$100
|
$225
|
$325
|
|
2
|
Jason
|
$150
|
$67
|
$217
|
|
3
|
John
|
$50
|
$113
|
$163
|
|
4
|
Russ
|
$150
|
$0
|
$150
|
|
5
|
Joe
|
$100
|
$45
|
$145
|
|
6
|
Jerry
|
$75
|
$0
|
$75
|
|
7
|
Shawn
|
$50
|
$0
|
$50
|
|
8
|
Jens
|
$25
|
$0
|
$25
|
Also, bear in mind that all teams (except for Young Guns)
get $10 back for the two weeks won by the Midnight Maulers. I’ll contact each of you separately to see how
you would like to receive your winnings, and will get those processed as soon
as possible.
ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #1
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a
man in a trench coat walked over and flashed them! Two of the little old ladies immediately had
a stroke, but the third one didn’t want to touch it.
2016 SEASON TIDBITS
- American BadAss was the highest scoring team (counting all weeks including playoffs), having scored 1,500 points. Second highest was Joe’s Pats with 1,437 points. And in third place, if you can believe it, was my Scottish Rebels with 1,392 points.
- The highest scoring undrafted player was Matt Ryan who finished with 311 points, ranking him as the 3rd highest scoring quarterback (4th highest overall).
- The top 8 highest scoring non-drafted players were all quarterbacks. The 9th highest scoring non-drafted player was a kicker, Matt Bryant. Bryant ended up as the 2nd highest scoring kicker in fantasy, only trailing the top kicker, Justin Tucker, by 1 point (171-170).
- From our 2016 draft, 31 players drafted are now no longer on any team, owing to injury and sucking.
- Three players drafted ended up scoring zero points this season: Josh Gordon (CLE-WR) 10th round, Tony Romo (DAL-QB) 11th round, and Connor Barth (NO-K) 14th round.
- The highest scoring keeper was Aaron Rodgers, who scored 337 points on the season, and was the top scoring player in fantasy.
- The highest individual player game score this season was accomplished by Le’Veon Bell who scored 50 point in Week 14.
- Over the last 5 seasons, the top seeded team has failed to win the championship. You have to go back to 2011 when the Coors Light Drunk Guys entered the playoffs as the #1 seed and took the title.
- The longest win streak by any team this season was 6, accomplished by American BadAss (Week 8 to Week 13).
- The longest losing streak of the season was 5, accomplished by Scottish Rebels and 14inchDitka both opening the season 0-5.
- The Coors Light Drunk Guys are the first team in history to record back-to-back tie games (Week 6 and Week 7).
- The highest team score in single game this season was 150 points, accomplished by Yahoo! managing the Midnight Maulers in Week 4.
- The largest margin of victory this season was 88 points, accomplished by the Midnight Maulers in Week 4 defeating NextYearUndefeated 150-62.
- The lowest score in a single game this season was 45 points, accomplished by my Scottish Rebels in Week 4.
ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #2
I have an EpiPen. My
friend gave it to me as he was dying. It
seemed very important to him that I have it.
2017 DRAFT
The draft order for 2017 is set:
1)
14inchDitka – James
2)
Scottish Rebels – Jerry
3)
Bubble Craps Bandits – Timmy
4)
sprouts – Russ
5)
Beautiful Turds – Jens
6)
Coors Light Drunk Guys – Shawn
7)
Joe’s Pats – Joe
8)
American BadAss – Jason
9)
Young Guns – John
10) Vandelay
Industries – Louis
Same rules apply for keepers: Each team can designate up to two players as
keepers from this year’s final roster for next year’s roster. Players designated as keepers will count as a
draft pick in whatever round they were drafted this season. Players who were keepers in 2016 will count
as 1st round picks in 2017.
Undrafted players will count as 15th round picks. If two players are kept who have the same
draft value, they will count as a pick in that round and the subsequent round
(e.g. two first round keepers will count as 1st and 2nd
round picks). The exception to this is
if two 15th round keepers are selected—those will count as 14th
and 15th round picks. Rosters
will be considered final as of Friday,
December 30th. I will
send out a spreadsheet listing all final rosters, 2016 point totals and 2017
draft values.
ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #3
A guy was nailing his interview when the employer said, “Well
everything looks great but I see here there was a 7 year gap since your last job—what
happened there?” The guy says, “Oh I
went to Yale”. The employer says, “Oh
great! Well you’re hired, you start
Monday.” Guy: “Yay!
I got a yob!”
BEST BENCH
This season there were three teams who never received a Best
Bench: 14inchDitka, Joe’s Pats and
Beautiful Turds. Nice work to each of you on managing your rosters well. The final Best Bench of
the season is the 2nd Best Bench for…sprouts! Russ could have improved by 37 points this
week with four roster swaps: T. Gurley
for J. Hill +14, S. Watkins for A. Robinson +10, Rams for Broncos +7 and B.
Bortles for M. Ryan +6.
Alas, sixteen weeks of football have come and gone in what
feels like an instant. Many, many thanks
to all of you for making this league great year after year. It is hard to believe we just wrapped up our
13th season…here’s to 13 more!
Wishing you all a safe, prosperous and awesome 2017!!
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