2016 playoffs start with a whimper. Week 14 was the lowest scoring week of the
season with only 740 total points scored.
The average weekly points scored this season is 858, so this week was
well short. But it’s still not close to
the lowest scoring week of all-time, Week 16 of 2007, when only 644 points were
scored.
So there weren't many points scored in either of the two playoff games this week. And in a weird coincidence, three of the non-playoff teams
outscored all of the playoff teams. In
fact, the combined score of the four
non-playoff teams came just 8 points shy of outscoring the combined score of
the six playoff teams (366-374). The Young Guns victory over Beautiful Turds
(55-51) goes down as the lowest scoring playoff game ever. Young Guns moves on to face Joe’s Pats, and
Vandelay Industries will take on American BadAss. In the playoff for 5th/6th
Shawn and Jens will renew their rivalry as we get treated to another edition of
the ‘What Do You Know? Bowl’. The Turds
won the only meeting this year back in Week 2 (98-83), and lead the lifetime
series 8-6, but the Drunk Guys still hold the lead in points scored 1,172 to
1,141.
Before going any further, I’ve got to dole out
congratulations to sprouts for scoring 114 points and claiming the Week 14 Weekly High Score!! This is Russ’ third Weekly High Score of the
season, tying American BadAss for the most.
In spite of Russ not making it into the playoffs, he is still on his way
to being one of the top money winners this season. This week he had strong performances from
Matt Ryan (21 pts), Jeremy Hill (20 pts) and Tyler Eifert (16 pts). In fact, his only player not to score in
double digits was the Denver defense (6 pts).
Excellent work sir!
Now, since we are down to the top four teams, here is a
refresher on the playoff prizes and an update on Weekly Prizes won so far:
Champion = $225
Runner-up = $113
3rd Place = $67
4th Place = $45
Weekly Prizes:
American BadAss - $150 (Weeks 9, 10, 13)
sprouts - $150 (Weeks 3, 8, 14)
Joe’s Pats - $100 (Weeks 2, 10)
Coors Light Drunk Guys - $50 (Week 5)
Young Guns - $50 (Week 7)
Vandelay Industries - $50 (Week 12)
Beautiful Turds - $25 (Week 6 split)
Scottish Rebels - $25 (Week 6 split)
Onward!
BIG TIME
-Le’Veon Bell, RB – 14inchDitka – 50 pts – Epic performance
from Bell… 298 total yards from scrimmage (236 rushing and 62 receiving) to go
along with 3 touchdowns. Over the past 5
weeks, Bell is averaging an astonishing 26.8 points per game. This 50-point performance ranks as the 3rd
highest score of all-time. (Jamaal Charles
and Doug Martin are tied for the record of most points scored with 54 points.)
-Tom Brady, QB – Bubble Craps Bandits – 29 pts – After a bit
of a slow start, Brady came to life and scorched the Ravens for 406 yards and 3
TD’s. He now ranks as the 16th
QB overall, but remember he was suspended for the first 4 games of the
season. If you look at per game averages
from Week 5 on, Brady is averaging 23.1, which is the highest in the league.
-Bilal Powell, RB – Free Agent – 29 pts – Forte left the
game with a knee injury after only three plays and Powell filled in
handsomely. In all he finished with 145
yards rushing and 34 yards receiving and had 2 TD’s.
-Carlos Hyde, RB – Vandelay Industries – 28 pts – Hyde had
his best production of the season (200 yards, 1 TD) and now ranks as the 12th
best runningback in fantasy.
-Atlanta, DEF – Free Agent – 26 pts – The Falcons were in
control of their game with the Rams after only about 7 seconds in when the Rams
fumbled the opening kickoff. (There is no
more devastating turnover in football than a fumbled kickoff.) Falcons went on to win 42-14, but it shouldn’t
have even been that close. They finished
the day with 3 sacks, 2 interceptions, 3 fumble recoveries and 2 TD’s.
ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #1
When Great Britain was part of the Roman Empire, it was
ruled by an Emperor. When Great Britain
became a Kingdom, it was ruled by a King.
Now, alas, it’s a country.
COME ON MAN
-Larry Fitzgerald, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – Even
if your name was Jerry Rice, you’d have 1 point days with a dude named Carson
Palmer throwing to you. That dude sucks.
-Devonta Freeman, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – The Falcons
ended up resting their starters, but this was still quite the disappointing day
for Freeman. He only rushed 6 times for
6 yards, and had 2 catches for 12 yards.
-Dan Bailey, K – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – Baily made a
single PAT, and missed his only field goal attempt (52 yards).
-Kelvin Benjamin, WR – Beautiful Turds – 1 pt – Benjamin was
playing so poorly at one point, he got pulled from the game and didn’t even
play in the final two series.
-Mark Ingram, RB – Young Guns – 1 pt – Ingram’s average per
carry was double Devonta Freeman this week.
Unfortunately, that only amounted to 14 yards on 7 carries.
-Jimmy Graham, TE – Beautiful Turds – 1 pt – In what should
have been an enticing matchup, Graham only managed 1 catch for 16 yards.
-Coby Fleener, TE – 14inchDitka – 0 pts – Tight ends have
been an underwhelming bunch all year.
Case in point – Fleener = 1 catch for 6 yards.
-Dez Bryant, WR – Joe’s Pats – -1 pt – Dez should have just
stayed home. His only catch came on the
Cowboy’s final drive, which he promptly fumbled giving away the game to the Giants.
WEEKLY POSITIONAL POINT PRODUCTION
All season I have been tracking the points scored by
position for active rosters. As rosters
can fluctuate week to week, I wanted to see how many points are actually being
scored by each position.
Here are the
results, through Week 14:
|
Pos
|
Avg Pts/Wk
|
Pts/Player
|
|
RB
|
23.8
|
11.9
|
|
WR
|
18.86
|
9.43
|
|
QB
|
18.46
|
18.46
|
|
DEF
|
8.87
|
8.87
|
|
K
|
8.23
|
8.23
|
|
TE
|
6.79
|
6.79
|
Now, when looking at it by a team perspective, here are the
highest averages for each position:
|
Pos
|
Avg Pts/Wk
|
Team
|
|
QB
|
22.4
|
American BadAss
|
|
WR
|
23.4
|
Young Guns
|
|
RB
|
35.4
|
American BadAss
|
|
TE
|
8.4
|
sprouts
|
|
K
|
9.6
|
Scottish Rebels
|
|
DEF
|
11.2
|
Beautiful Turds
|
American BadAss has the highest average points from both QB’s
and RB’s. Kinda explains why his record
was 10-3. And how about my Rebels being
the highest average score for freaking kickers…
Here are the average points scored per week by each team:
American BadAss 94.8
Joe's Pats 89.4
Coors Light Drunk Guys 86.8
Scottish Rebels 84.9
Young Guns 84.8
sprouts 83.4
Beautiful Turds 82.8
Vandelay Industries 82.8
14inchDitka 81.1
Bubble Craps Bandits 79.6
These scores are remarkably close from the 3rd
ranked team thru the 8th ranked team, being only separated by 4
points.
ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #2
A group of engineers are on a boat and are out on a
cigarette break. However, none of them
have a lighter. One engineer gets a
great idea and throws a cigarette off the boat.
Suddenly, the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
2017 DRAFT PREPARATION
It is never too early to start looking to next year. Just a reminder on the rules for keepers
(same as always): Each team may designate up to two players from this year’s
final roster as keepers for next year’s team.
Keepers will count as a draft pick for whatever round they were selected
this year. Any keepers being re-kept
will count as a first round pick. Any
undrafted players will count as a final round pick. If two players with the same draft value are
being kept, they will count as a pick for that round and for the subsequent
round (e.g. Two first round keepers will count as a first and second round
pick). The one exception is if two 15th
round players are kept – those will count as 14th and 15th
round picks. Now here is the change for
next season: Keepers will not need to be declared until ONE WEEK PRIOR TO THE
DRAFT! This rule was changed
prior to this year’s draft and should give everyone more time and information
when selecting keepers. As has been the
recent trend, we will target Labor Day Weekend (or close to it) for the
draft.
DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT
Rotoworld posted the most hilarious update
regarding the Jeff Fisher firing. I copy
it here verbatim for your enjoyment:
“In a cruel, ironic twist for the NFL’s pre-eminent loser,
the firing comes three days before he was set to pass Dan Reeves for the most
coaching losses in league history.
Fisher is so inept he can’t even claim the record that’s been his
destiny for over a decade. The firing is
perhaps the most justified of the modern era.
Fisher has had five years to turn around a laughingstock franchise, but
instead made it an even bigger joke.
Fisher’s team had truly made zero progress on his first year in 2012. A wanton waster of draft picks and capital,
Fisher is clueless on Sundays, fundamentally misunderstanding offense and
overseeing a cavalcade of idiotic penalties.
Fisher doesn’t make adjustments, aside from usually dialing up more
personal fouls in the second half. Try
as he may, he never came close to “cleaning up” his chronic, myriad,
inexcusable mistakes. No coach, in any
sport anywhere in the world, makes more excuses. Fisher has almost certainly coached his final
NFL game.” mic drop
ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #3
What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a
chickpea?
Timmy would never pay to have a garbanzo bean on his face.
BEST BENCH
With seven teams not even scoring over 75 points this week,
I was expecting to see a lot of points riding the pine. Surprisingly, there weren’t. Even more surprisingly, my Scottish Rebels
DID NOT have the Best Bench this week!
The Week 14 Best Bench, with a 32-point improvement possibility, goes to…
Vandelay Industries! This is Louis’
second Best Bench this year, and he needed a nearly complete roster swap for
this one: M. Stafford for R. Wilson +11,
D. Jackson for A. Brown +9, J. Landry for T. Williams +3, J. Doyle for J.
Witten +3, J. Lambo for D. Bailey +3 and Chiefs for Eagles +3.
Could it be? Only two
weeks left of fantasy football?
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