Wednesday, September 14, 2016

The Clock Strikes Midnight!


And we’re off!  Big scoring in the first week of the season, in fact this is the highest scoring Week 1 since 2013, and the third highest scoring opening week in Sacred Sundays history.  There were 877 total points scored this week, which is a lot, but the Week 1 record is from 2013 when there were 991 total points scored!  In that amazing week, American BadAss scored 124 points and BoomGoesTheDynamite scored 129 points but neither one took the High Score Prize.  Nope, the prize went to sprouts who posted an opening week record 133 points!

The congratulations this year go to the Midnight Maulers for smashing the competition and putting up 125 points.  Jamie beat the next highest scoring team (NextYearElPatio) by 17 and won his game by 75!  Utter domination!  Well done Jamie!

Now the question is, does winning the Weekly High Score Prize in Week 1 mean anything?  Well, I’ve looked back at results thru 2007, and since 2008 the highest scoring team in Week 1 has finished no worse than 5th, and over the last 5 years has finished in the top 3.  However, only once has the team who won the Week 1 Weekly High Score Prize gone on to win the championship… Jens accomplished that feat in the 2012 season.  So the precedent is there for Jamie to have a great season. 

Okay, enough jibber jabber… let’s get to this!!



BIG TIME BABY!
-Andrew Luck, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 38 pts – In a game featuring no defense, Luck tossed 4 TD’s and 0 interceptions while amassing 385 yards in the air and 21 yards on the ground.  Luck could be poised for a big year…well worth the first round pick.

-Drew Brees, QB – NextYearElPatio – 33 pts – In another game with ghost defenses, Brees also tossed 4 TD’s (but lost one fumble), while piling up 424 yards.  It is a quarterback’s world these days…

-Alex Smith, QB – Bubble Craps Bandits – 30 pts – Always nice to have a quarterback add a rushing TD to pad the stats.  Even sweeter when that rushing TD comes in overtime to win the game.  Nice.

-DeAngelo Williams, RB – NextYearElPatio – 28 pts – Williams just walked all over what was supposed to be an improved Redskins team.  By the end he had 171 total yards and 2 TD’s, and it just looked easy.

-A.J. Green, WR – Midnight Maulers – 27 pts – This dude is just awesome.  He catches nearly everything thrown his way (12 completions on 13 targets), and racks up the yards (180 yards).

-Brandin Cooks, WR – Scottish Rebels – 27 pts – Cooks registered the longest touchdown in Saints history, catching a 98-yard bomb from Brees for his 2nd TD of the day.


SMALL BALLS

-Adrian Peterson, RB – NextYearElPatio – 3 pts – AP posted a pathetic 1.6 yards per carry (31 yards on 19 carries).  Could he finally be slowing down?

-Los Angeles, DEF – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – Only through the grace of a fumble recovery did the Rams D post any positive numbers.  What a train wreck of a team…

-Kansas City, DEF – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – The lone point here scored by the Chefs came from the single sack they served up.  This defense might be better suited for the food service industry.

-Gary Barnidge, TE – Scottish Rebels – 0 pts – As a pass catcher, you need to catch passes.  Ol’ Gary forgot about that part of his job description and dropped his two targets on the day.  He might have another drop coming in his future.

-Zach Miller, TE – NextYearElPatio – 0 pts – Three catches for 14 small yards.  Terrible.

-Dez Bryant, WR – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Two guys with names like Dak and Dez should be like peas in a pod, but they never got on the same page.  Dez finished with only 1 catch for 8 yards, in spite of Dak throwing 45 passes.

-Coby Fleener, TE – SofaKingLucky – 0 pts – Once catch for 6 yards.  Almost better to just not catch that one.  Jeez…


TO ICE OR NOT TO ICE
Icing the kicker is one of those things in the same vein as the "Hack-a-Shaq" strategy in basketball.  You love it when it works in your team’s favor, but hate it when it works against you.  The debate rages on as to whether or not icing is an effective strategy, but thanks to Graham Gano’s foot in the season opener, we are likely to see a lot more of it this season.  Gano, of course, made his initial kick but then missed the second one after the timeout had been called.  So the icing worked like a charm.  But I can remember a time when Nick Folk (kicking for the Cowboys) missed his initial kick and then made the second attempt after the timeout.  So it can work both ways.  I’m going to do my best this season to keep track of “iced kicks”…those are where there are two attempts (i.e. the timeout was called right before the ball was snapped, and a kick actually happens), to see if it is an effective strategy.


STAR SPANGLED DEBACLE

If you caught the start of the 2nd Monday Night game this week between Los Angeles and San Francisco, you got treated to one of the weirdest renditions of the Star Spangled Banner in recent memory.  With all the hubbub about players kneeling, standing, fist pumping or whatever during the anthem, the folks at Levi stadium apparently thought it would be cool to have the anthem performed on a violin, with every other note being a tweedle.  (I don’t know how else to describe that thing violinists can do on some notes where they kinda play several notes at the end of a phrase.  It is the violin equivalent of a drum fill.)  The song was hard to follow to begin with, and I’m pretty sure during the “..and the rocket’s red glare” part it just went into a different song entirely and only came back to something mildly recognizable by the “…Oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave…” part. 

To make it even worse, rather than showing the violinist performing, or the flag, or a military person in uniform, or the fans, ESPN kept the camera trained on a kneeling Kaepernick for 90% of the song.  I mean, good on Colin for getting some airtime in a game in which he did absolutely didly squat, but really ESPN?  This is what we get to see?  Just weird.
 

LEAGUE PICK ‘EM & WAIVER ORDER
In years past we have made the rule to where the person who picks the most correct winners of the games in our league gets moved to the top of the waiver order for the following week.  I’ve decided against doing that this season for a couple reasons: 1) There is no way to pick winners through the Yahoo! app, unless I am missing something; and 2) It always just seemed like it was me picking against Jensy each week.  Thus the waiver order this year will simply reset each week to the reverse order of standings.


ALL UN-WANTED TEAM
Here was the roster I put together for the Week 1 All-Unwanted team:
QB
Matt Ryan Atl
24
WR
Steve Smith Sr. Bal
1
WR
Mohamed Sanu Atl
16
RB
Terrance West Bal
3
RB
Shaun Draughn SF
6
TE
Jacob Tamme Atl
5
K
Matt Bryant Atl
10
DEF
Baltimore Bal
6
71
It went well at the QB position, and the Sanu pick was a nice surprise, but overall it is fairly apparent why these players were not drafted.  Since the average score in the league this week was 87.7, this goes down as a loss.


BEST BENCH
They say the only sure things life are death and taxes, but I need to add one more thing to the list:  Coors Light Drunk Guys have the Best Bench!  I’m not sure why I still check everyone’s roster…there is only one you need to check, and that is Mr. Shawn Martin’s.  Last year in Week 1, the Drunk Guys tied sprouts for Best Bench, but this year it is a solo title, with a solid 42-point improvement possibility!
Only three roster moves were needed:  W. Snead for TY Hilton +19, D. Woodhead for D. Freeman +13 and L. Fitzgerald for A. Jeffery +10.


Get those waiver claims in and get ready for Week 2!!

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