Let the playoffs begin!

2016 playoffs start with a whimper.  Week 14 was the lowest scoring week of the season with only 740 total points scored.  The average weekly points scored this season is 858, so this week was well short.  But it’s still not close to the lowest scoring week of all-time, Week 16 of 2007, when only 644 points were scored. 

So there weren't many points scored in either of the two playoff games this week.  And in a weird coincidence, three of the non-playoff teams outscored all of the playoff teams.  In fact, the combined score of the four non-playoff teams came just 8 points shy of outscoring the combined score of the six playoff teams (366-374).  The Young Guns victory over Beautiful Turds (55-51) goes down as the lowest scoring playoff game ever.  Young Guns moves on to face Joe’s Pats, and Vandelay Industries will take on American BadAss.  In the playoff for 5^th/6^th Shawn and Jens will renew their rivalry as we get treated to another edition of the ‘What Do You Know? Bowl’.  The Turds won the only meeting this year back in Week 2 (98-83), and lead the lifetime series 8-6, but the Drunk Guys still hold the lead in points scored 1,172 to 1,141.

Before going any further, I’ve got to dole out congratulations to sprouts for scoring 114 points and claiming the Week 14 Weekly High Score!!  This is Russ’ third Weekly High Score of the season, tying American BadAss for the most.  In spite of Russ not making it into the playoffs, he is still on his way to being one of the top money winners this season.  This week he had strong performances from Matt Ryan (21 pts), Jeremy Hill (20 pts) and Tyler Eifert (16 pts).  In fact, his only player not to score in double digits was the Denver defense (6 pts).  Excellent work sir!

Now, since we are down to the top four teams, here is a refresher on the playoff prizes and an update on Weekly Prizes won so far:

Champion = $225

Runner-up = $113

3^rd Place = $67

4^th Place = $45

Weekly Prizes:

American BadAss - $150 (Weeks 9, 10, 13)

sprouts - $150 (Weeks 3, 8, 14)

Joe’s Pats - $100 (Weeks 2, 10)

Coors Light Drunk Guys - $50 (Week 5)

Young Guns - $50 (Week 7)

Vandelay Industries - $50 (Week 12)

Beautiful Turds - $25 (Week 6 split)

Scottish Rebels - $25 (Week 6 split)

Onward!

BIG TIME

-Le’Veon Bell, RB – 14inchDitka – 50 pts – Epic performance from Bell… 298 total yards from scrimmage (236 rushing and 62 receiving) to go along with 3 touchdowns.  Over the past 5 weeks, Bell is averaging an astonishing 26.8 points per game.  This 50-point performance ranks as the 3^rd highest score of all-time.  (Jamaal Charles and Doug Martin are tied for the record of most points scored with 54 points.)

-Tom Brady, QB – Bubble Craps Bandits – 29 pts – After a bit of a slow start, Brady came to life and scorched the Ravens for 406 yards and 3 TD’s.  He now ranks as the 16^th QB overall, but remember he was suspended for the first 4 games of the season.  If you look at per game averages from Week 5 on, Brady is averaging 23.1, which is the highest in the league.

-Bilal Powell, RB – Free Agent – 29 pts – Forte left the game with a knee injury after only three plays and Powell filled in handsomely.  In all he finished with 145 yards rushing and 34 yards receiving and had 2 TD’s.

-Carlos Hyde, RB – Vandelay Industries – 28 pts – Hyde had his best production of the season (200 yards, 1 TD) and now ranks as the 12^th best runningback in fantasy.

-Atlanta, DEF – Free Agent – 26 pts – The Falcons were in control of their game with the Rams after only about 7 seconds in when the Rams fumbled the opening kickoff.  (There is no more devastating turnover in football than a fumbled kickoff.)  Falcons went on to win 42-14, but it shouldn’t have even been that close.  They finished the day with 3 sacks, 2 interceptions, 3 fumble recoveries and 2 TD’s.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #1

When Great Britain was part of the Roman Empire, it was ruled by an Emperor.  When Great Britain became a Kingdom, it was ruled by a King.  Now, alas, it’s a country.

COME ON MAN

-Larry Fitzgerald, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – Even if your name was Jerry Rice, you’d have 1 point days with a dude named Carson Palmer throwing to you.  That dude sucks.

-Devonta Freeman, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – The Falcons ended up resting their starters, but this was still quite the disappointing day for Freeman.  He only rushed 6 times for 6 yards, and had 2 catches for 12 yards.

-Dan Bailey, K – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – Baily made a single PAT, and missed his only field goal attempt (52 yards).

-Kelvin Benjamin, WR – Beautiful Turds – 1 pt – Benjamin was playing so poorly at one point, he got pulled from the game and didn’t even play in the final two series.

-Mark Ingram, RB – Young Guns – 1 pt – Ingram’s average per carry was double Devonta Freeman this week.  Unfortunately, that only amounted to 14 yards on 7 carries.

-Jimmy Graham, TE – Beautiful Turds – 1 pt – In what should have been an enticing matchup, Graham only managed 1 catch for 16 yards.

-Coby Fleener, TE – 14inchDitka – 0 pts – Tight ends have been an underwhelming bunch all year.  Case in point – Fleener = 1 catch for 6 yards.

-Dez Bryant, WR – Joe’s Pats – -1 pt – Dez should have just stayed home.  His only catch came on the Cowboy’s final drive, which he promptly fumbled giving away the game to the Giants.

WEEKLY POSITIONAL POINT PRODUCTION

All season I have been tracking the points scored by position for active rosters.  As rosters can fluctuate week to week, I wanted to see how many points are actually being scored by each position.  

Here are the results, through Week 14:

Pos	Avg Pts/Wk	Pts/Player
RB	23.8	11.9
WR	18.86	9.43
QB	18.46	18.46
DEF	8.87	8.87
K	8.23	8.23
TE	6.79	6.79

Tight Ends are the lowest scoring position, averaging 1.44 fewer points than Kickers.  Kickers, to their credit, are only 0.6 points behind Defenses and 1.2 points behind individual wide receivers.

Now, when looking at it by a team perspective, here are the highest averages for each position:

Pos	Avg Pts/Wk	Team
QB	22.4	American BadAss
WR	23.4	Young Guns
RB	35.4	American BadAss
TE	8.4	sprouts
K	9.6	Scottish Rebels
DEF	11.2	Beautiful Turds

American BadAss has the highest average points from both QB’s and RB’s.  Kinda explains why his record was 10-3.  And how about my Rebels being the highest average score for freaking kickers…

Here are the average points scored per week by each team:

American BadAss            94.8

Joe's Pats                          89.4

Coors Light Drunk Guys  86.8

Scottish Rebels             84.9

Young Guns                     84.8

sprouts                            83.4

Beautiful Turds             82.8

Vandelay Industries           82.8

14inchDitka                     81.1

Bubble Craps Bandits  79.6

 These scores are remarkably close from the 3^rd ranked team thru the 8^th ranked team, being only separated by 4 points.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #2

A group of engineers are on a boat and are out on a cigarette break.  However, none of them have a lighter.  One engineer gets a great idea and throws a cigarette off the boat.  Suddenly, the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

2017 DRAFT PREPARATION

It is never too early to start looking to next year.  Just a reminder on the rules for keepers (same as always): Each team may designate up to two players from this year’s final roster as keepers for next year’s team.  Keepers will count as a draft pick for whatever round they were selected this year.  Any keepers being re-kept will count as a first round pick.  Any undrafted players will count as a final round pick.  If two players with the same draft value are being kept, they will count as a pick for that round and for the subsequent round (e.g. Two first round keepers will count as a first and second round pick).  The one exception is if two 15^th round players are kept – those will count as 14^th and 15^th round picks.  Now here is the change for next season:  Keepers will not need to be declared until ONE WEEK PRIOR TO THE DRAFT!  This rule was changed prior to this year’s draft and should give everyone more time and information when selecting keepers.  As has been the recent trend, we will target Labor Day Weekend (or close to it) for the draft. 

DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT

Rotoworld posted the most hilarious update regarding the Jeff Fisher firing.  I copy it here verbatim for your enjoyment:

“In a cruel, ironic twist for the NFL’s pre-eminent loser, the firing comes three days before he was set to pass Dan Reeves for the most coaching losses in league history.  Fisher is so inept he can’t even claim the record that’s been his destiny for over a decade.  The firing is perhaps the most justified of the modern era.  Fisher has had five years to turn around a laughingstock franchise, but instead made it an even bigger joke.  Fisher’s team had truly made zero progress on his first year in 2012.  A wanton waster of draft picks and capital, Fisher is clueless on Sundays, fundamentally misunderstanding offense and overseeing a cavalcade of idiotic penalties.  Fisher doesn’t make adjustments, aside from usually dialing up more personal fouls in the second half.  Try as he may, he never came close to “cleaning up” his chronic, myriad, inexcusable mistakes.  No coach, in any sport anywhere in the world, makes more excuses.  Fisher has almost certainly coached his final NFL game.”  mic drop

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK #3

What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

Timmy would never pay to have a garbanzo bean on his face.

BEST BENCH

With seven teams not even scoring over 75 points this week, I was expecting to see a lot of points riding the pine.  Surprisingly, there weren’t.  Even more surprisingly, my Scottish Rebels DID NOT have the Best Bench this week!  The Week 14 Best Bench, with a 32-point improvement possibility, goes to… Vandelay Industries!  This is Louis’ second Best Bench this year, and he needed a nearly complete roster swap for this one:  M. Stafford for R. Wilson +11, D. Jackson for A. Brown +9, J. Landry for T. Williams +3, J. Doyle for J. Witten +3, J. Lambo for D. Bailey +3 and Chiefs for Eagles +3.

Could it be?  Only two weeks left of fantasy football?  

American BadAss surges toward the playoffs!

The playoffs are set!  The last eight weeks of play have been a mere formality as back in Week 5 the teams I predicted to qualify for the playoffs were:  Midnight Maulers (now Young Guns), Coors Light Drunk Guys, American BadAss, NextYearTriplets (Jens), Joe’s Pats and Vandelay Industries.  That’s right…for the first time ever I called all six playoff teams after only five weeks of play!  More on this in just a bit..

First, we have to dole out some congratulations to American BadAss for claiming a third Weekly High Score Prize with a league-best 107 points!  Jason had six of eight players post double digits, led by David Johnson (29) and Melvin Gordon (19).  The victory also gave BadAss a 10th win on the season, two more than the next closest team (Vandelay Industries with 8).  This win was also significant because it gave BadAss his 71st regular season win since 2007 which ties the Coors Light Drunk Guys for the most regular season wins during that time.  Well done bro!

So my prognostication skills were dialed in for the league this year… how did the Yahoo! bots do in predicting the outcome of our league following the draft?  Here are the standings predicted by Yahoo! back in September:
1 Young Guns 12-1
2 Vandelay Industries 9-4
3 Joe’s Pats 9-4
4 sprouts 7-5-1
5 American BadAss 7-5-1
6 Scottish Rebels 7-6
7 The Team of Many Names 5-7-1
8 SofaKingTerrible 4-8-1
9 Bubble Craps Bandits 3-10
10 Coors Light Drunk Guys 0-13

Here are the actual standings:
1 American BadAss 10-3-0
2 Joe’s Pats 7-5-1
3 Vandelay Industries 8-5-0
4 Young Guns 7-4-2
5 Coors Light Drunk Guys 6-5-2
6 The Team of Many Names 6-6-1
7 sprouts 6-7-0
8 Bubble Craps Bandits 5-7-1
9 Scottish Rebels 4-9-0
10 SofaKingTerrible 2-10-1

Yahoo! only got four of six playoff teams correct, and whiffed badly on the Coors Light Drunk Guys.  But they did correctly predict tie games for Jens and Sofa King Terrible, so that deserves some credit.

Week 14 will be the first round of the playoffs, where American BadAss and Joe’s Pats will have byes as the division winners.  The other matchups will be Young Guns versus Ready for Playoffs and Coors Light Drunk Guys versus Vandelay Industries.

John and Jens played once this season (Week 11), a game in which Young Guns scored their lowest points ever and lost 79-48.  Shawn and Louis have played twice this season, with each winning once.  (Vandelay prevailed 88-84 in Week 1, and the Drunk Guys prevailed 83-74 in Week 11).  So should be some close matchups in those games.  But remember, everyone is still eligible to win the Weekly High Score Prize so make sure you have your line up set.

In the playoffs there are no tie games.  In any game prior to the championship game, a tie game goes to the higher seeded team.  If there is a tie game in the championship game, it will be decided in this manner:  1) Team with the highest scoring quarterback wins, 2) Team with highest scoring runningback wins, 3) Team with highest scoring wide receiver wins, 4) If still tied at that point, co-champions will be declared.


2017 DRAFT PREP
The first four teams to pick in next year’s draft will be:  #1 - 14inchDikta, #2 – Scottish Rebels, #3 – Bubble Craps Bandits, #4 – sprouts.  Those teams have finished 10th, 9th, 8th and 7th, respectively.  Yahoo! will show matchups for these teams over the next three weeks, but those matchups have no bearing on the final standings.  So James…you are on the clock!


ALL UNWANTEDS
At the beginning of the season I put together a team consisting of undrafted Atlanta Falcons, San Francisco 49ers and Baltimore Ravens as each of these teams only had 2 players drafted.  The starting roster has been changed around as the season has gone on, due to injuries and performance, but they have had a remarkable amount of success.  Here was the roster for the final week:
QB Matt Ryan Atl - QB 15
WR Mohamed Sanu Atl - WR 2
WR Steve Smith Sr. Bal - WR 5
RB Terrance West Bal - RB 18
RB Tevin Coleman Atl - RB 4
TE Jacob Tamme Atl - TE 0
K Matt Bryant Atl - K 12
DEF Baltimore Bal - DEF 15
TOTAL - 71
The randomly assigned opponent this week was my Scottish Rebels who only managed 69 points, so the All Unwanteds finish with a win.  Amazingly, this team has only scored 947 points on the season (which is 100 points fewer than the lowest scoring team in our league), yet finishes with a record of 8-5!!  This was because the All Unwanteds only had 942 points scored against them, which would be the 2nd lowest total in the league.  You know what I would give for an 8-5 record right now?!  Really goes to show how important matchups are…


 BEST BENCH
It has gone from being funny to just being sad.  No matter the changes I make, my highest scoring players end up on the pine.  For a 6th time this season, Best Bench goes to my Scottish Rebels.  This time I could have improved my total by 32 points with 3 roster moves:  T. Rawls for L. Miller (+21), M. Crabtree for M. Evans (+8), D. Prescott for D. Brees (+3).  In total, I have left 180 points on the bench this season...


Win or go home, from here on out!

Van-de-lay, Van-de-lay!

The latex import/export business is booming!!  Vandelay Industries cruised to an easy victory this week, not only securing a spot in the playoffs but also becoming the 8^th different team to win a Weekly High Score Prize!  It is pretty incredible to think…no team has been the Weekly High Score more than twice this season, and only Bubble Crap Bandits and 14InchDitka (the Hand Boys!) have not been tops.  Vandelay Industries scored 112 points this week, led by a tandem of 27-point scorers, Antonio Brown and LeSean McCoy, and got a strong defensive performance from the Chiefs (18 points).  Well done Louis!!  Playoffs!

Only one single week remains until the start of the playoffs.  Here is what we now know for sure:

• American BadAss will be the top seed in the South Division.
• Joe’s Pats will be the top seed in the North Division.
• Young Guns is in for sure.
• Vandelay Industries is in for sure.
• Scottish Rebels are out.
• 14InchDitka is out.

Four teams are vying for the final two spots, here are possible scenarios:

• Coors Light Drunk Guys – Win final game.
• Boom-Next Year – Win final game PLUS loss from Bubble Crap Bandits.
• Bubble Craps Bandits – Win final game PLUS loss from Boom-Next Year.
• sprouts – Win final game PLUS losses from Bubble Craps Bandits AND Boom-Next Year.

If the Coors Light Drunk Guys lose this week, things could get interesting… a loss from the Drunks means Boom-Next Year and Bubble Craps Bandits could both get in with wins.  Also a Drunk Guys loss and a Boom loss mean sprouts could get in with a win by virtue of holding the head-to-head tiebreaker over the Drunk Guys.   But there is even a scenario where the Drunks Guys can lose and still get in.  If the Drunk Guys lose and Boom and sprouts both lose, the Drunk Guys will still make it in because of having tied twice this season.  (Ties, of course, count as a half loss, so that affects the overall win percentage ever so slightly). 

Now here’s the really crazy part… of the four teams still in the running for the final playoff spot there is not a head-to-head matchup between them, so it is conceivable all four of the teams could win.  If that happens, the Coors Light Drunk Guys would qualify as the 5th seed, and then there would be a tie for the final spot between Boom-Next Year and Bubble Craps Bandits.  For the first tiebreaker (head-to-head record) it is a tie because Boom and Bandits tied in Week 7 (78-78).  The next tiebreaker is points scored.  Boom holds a 74 point advantage currently (1,007 points scored to 933), which is a fairly sizable lead, but not insurmountable.  If the Bubble Craps Bandits win and by some off-chance outscore Boom-Next Year by 74 points, we will go to the final tie-breaker…the coin flip.  Never in the history of the league have we gone to the coin flip, and this is probably the closest to it we have ever been. 

As always, the Weekly High Score Prizes continue through Week 16 and all teams are eligible.  So make sure you have your roster set each week and are getting your waivers in.

Lastly, it is time for the Best Bench.  One team has d.o.m.i.n.a.t.e.d. Best Bench this season, and it is not even close.  Claiming a league-leading 5^th Best Bench, with a 38-point improvement possibility, the Week 12 Best Bench is… MY Scottish Rebels.  Needed to do a half roster swap this time:  D. Brees for D. Prescott (+12), M. Crabtree for B. Cooks (+11), J. Howard for T. Rawls (+9) and K. Rudolph for R. Gronkowski (+6).  If you sum up all the points from my five Best Benches this season, it comes to 148 points which I have left riding the pine.  The next closest team, which is miles behind me, is the Coors Light Drunk Guys, who have been Best Bench only twice and have left a combined 70 points on the bench.  I guess if you're going to do something, you might as well be the best at it...

Next week I will be back with a full length write-up, which will include a look back at how Yahoo! predicted teams would finish this season following the draft.

Don't make Joe angry!

The defending champ roars to life!  After posting just 78 points in Week 6, Joe’s Pats has been been on a hot streak scoring over 90 points in each of the last four weeks.  Point totals have been 94, 91, 96 and 98, for an average of 94.8 the second highest average in the league over that time span.  This week Joe’s Pats not only scored over 90 points again, they scored the 2nd highest single-week score of the season, which was also the 6th highest score of all-time!  Two of Joe’s players scored over 30 (Kirk Cousins +30, Rob Kelley +31), two scored over 20 (Dez Bryant +20, Pittsburgh +22), and the rest of his team average 10 points per player.  In the end, Joe’s Pats finished with 143 points(!!), crushing my Rebels by 73 points.  (This win avenges Week 4, 2014 when my Rebels defeated Joe’s Pats by 85 points, 133-48.)  Well done Joe!  That was certainly one for the record books…

Now on to the main attraction for this week:
PLAYOFFS?!  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!  PLAYOFFS?!?
With all the tie games we have had this season, it has made for some interesting playoff scenarios which we will get to in just a sec.  First a quick refresher on the playoff rules:

• Top two teams in each division automatically qualify.  The top team in each division receives a first round bye.
• Next two highest ranked teams receive Wildcards.
• Wildcards are not division specific. Both can come from the same division.
• Teams not qualifying for the playoffs are still eligible to win the Weekly High Score prize, but do not compete in head-to-head games
• Final standing at end of regular season determines the order of teams finishing in 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th place.

Here are how divisional standings and wildcards are decided:

Divisional standing ranking:
Overall record
Division record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip

Wildcard standing ranking/tiebreakers:
Overall record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip

If the playoffs were to start this week, the entrants would be:
Divisional entrants:
      American BadAss, Young Guns, Joe’s Pats and USA GREAT AGAIN.

Wild Cards:
      Vandelay Industries and Coors Light Drunk Guys.

Here are the team-by-team statuses any playoff scenarios:
Teams already in
American BadAss – Already qualified for playoffs by winning 8 games.
Young Guns – Already qualified for playoffs by winning 7 games.
Joe’s Pats – Already qualified for playoffs by winning 6 games and tying 1 game.

Teams in control of own destiny
Vandelay Industries – Win one of two remaining games.
Coors Light Drunk Guys – Win one of two remaining games.
USA GREAT AGAIN – Win one of two remaining games.

Teams needing some help
Bubble Craps Bandits – Win both remaining games PLUS two losses from Vandelay Industries.
Scottish Rebels – Win both remaining games PLUS two losses from Vandelay Industries and it will come down to tie-breakers.
Sprouts - Win both remaining games PLUS two losses from Vandelay Industries and it will come down to tie-breakers.

The rest
14inch Ditka – Mathematically eliminated.

It is entirely possible there are more scenarios than what I've laid out above, so those may not be the only paths to the playoffs.  To have nine teams still vying for a spot with only two weeks left is pretty amazing.


Sorry about the short one this week (that’s what she said), but I’ve been having to actually do work when I am at work instead of sitting at my desk writing four-page emails.  So I've got to cut this one off early.  But I would be remiss if I did not award the Best Bench...

WEEK 11 BEST BENCH
Going into this week, four teams had yet to take home the title of Best Bench and now that number is down to three.  Taking home the title for the first time ever...with a solid 39-point improvement possibility, the Week 11 Best Bench goes to… Young Guns!!  John needed four roster moves to make it happen:  J. Crowder for AJ Green +16, M. Mariota for B. Roethlisberger +13, D. Moncrief for D. Adams +5 and T. Hightower for M. Ingram +5.


Remember even though the playoffs start in Week 14, all teams are still eligible to win the Weekly High Score Prize.  Get your rosters set!!

God bless the U.S.A!

Week 9 was the highest scoring week of the season thus far, with a total of 914 points scored!  Crazy to have an accomplishment like that in a week where six NFL teams were on byes.  The highest scoring week of all-time was Week 4, 2011 when 1,000 points were scored.  (Five teams scored over 100 points that week, and all but one team scored over 90 points.)

The congratulations this week go out to American BadAss, who topped everyone by scoring 121 points!  BadAss thrashed his head-to-head opponent, TrainWreck, by 54 points, and managed to hold off Young Guns who finished with 119 points.  BadAss’ runningbacks and quarterback were the key to victory, as Melvin Gordon had 34 points, Latavius Murray scored 30 and Aaron Rodgers added 25.  In all, 89 points from just three players, which by themselves would have defeated five other teams this week.  That’s some domination!  This is Jason’s first Weekly High Score Prize of the season, and it brings the total number of teams to win or tie for a high score to 7.  Well done senor!

Now, we have only four more regular season games to go, so the playoffs are right around the corner.  Here is a quick refresher on the playoff rules:

• Top two teams in each division automatically qualify.  The top team in each division receives a first round bye.
• Next two highest ranked teams receive Wildcards. (Wildcards are not division specific. Both can come from the same division.)
• Teams that do not qualify for the playoffs are still eligible to win the Weekly High Score prize, but do not compete in head-to-head games.
• Final standing at end of regular season determines standings for 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th place.  

Here are the tiebreakers for determining playoff qualifiers: (these may differ from what Yahoo! uses)
Divisional standing ranking
Overall record
Division record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip

Wildcard standing ranking/tiebreakers
Overall record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip

Next week I will start cranking through playoff scenarios for each team.


BEST BENCH
With six teams on byes this week, it was not surprising to see very few bench points sitting idle.  The lowest point total to ever claim the Best Bench title was 16, accomplished by the Midnight Maulers in Week 7, 2011.  This week’s winner wasn’t quite that low, but it did tie for the lowest one this season.  With a 28-point improvement possibility, claiming their 2nd Best Bench of the season, Week 9 goes to… the Coors Light Drunk Guys!  Shawn needed to only make two roster moves to make it happen:  C. Santos for C. Barth +15 and T. Taylor for A. Luck +13.  (Side note – Shawn, I would never recommend carrying a backup kicker, but if you do happen to have one, the one time it would come in handy is when your normal kicker is on a bye week!!!)


The push to the playoffs is on!  Let’s do this!!

Midterms are here!!

Eight weeks of football are in the books, which means it is time for midterm grades!  (Actually last week was time for midterms, but between traveling home from Boise and the Blazers season starting, I had no time to get it done.)  I’ve enhanced grading this year by applying weighting factors to the various criterion, and grades are once again on a curve.  The categories analyzed for grading are:

• Win % - Teams with higher win % awarded more points. (3x factor)
• Points Scored – Teams with more points scored awarded more points.  (2x factor)
• Weekly High Score Prizes – Teams with more high score prizes awarded more points. (2x factor)
• Points Against – Teams with more points scored against them awarded more points.  (This means they have played a tougher schedule).  (1x factor)
• Best Benches – Teams with no or fewer Best Benches awarded more points.  (1x factor)
• Keeper Production – Teams with higher production from keepers awarded more points.  (Teams who did not have two keepers will have their first round picks factored here.) (1x factor)

For each category, points received are multiplied by the associated weighting factor.  Points are awarded as follows:  the top team receives 10 points, 2^nd highest receives 9 points and so on down to 1 point for the bottom team.  Full scoring and grades below.

Before we get into that, I’ve got double duty on handing out congratulations.  Last week, Young Guns came out shooting and posted 108 points to take top honors!  They did it with great performances from the wide receiver position (AJ Green 25 pts, Julio Jones 20 pts), plus had Marcus Mariota and CJ Anderson each tack on 16 points.  This was John’s first Weekly High Score Prize, although technically this is the third high score from this group this season.  The win also extended the Young Guns undefeated start to the season.  Well done John!

This week’s congrats go to sprouts!  Team sprouts had six players score in double digits, led by Matt Ryan with 23 and the Denver Defense with 22.  This was Russ’ second Weekly High Score Prize of the season (the most of any team so far), and with the win he leveled his record at 4-4.  Great work Russ!

Now…onward!

BIG TIME

• Derek Carr, QB – American BadAss – 38 pts – The Raiders set a couple records on Sunday.  The first was Carr setting a Raiders’ team record with 513 yards passing (to go along with 4 TD’s).  The second was an NFL record 24 penalties assessed against the Raiders during the game.  That means the Raiders were called for a penalty every 2 ½ minutes.
• Aaron Rodgers, QB – American BadAss – 33 pts – Jason cornered the market on Week 8 QB’s!  Rodgers looked like Rodgers this week, tossing 4 TD’s, 246 passing yard, 60 rushing yards and getting a 2-pt conversion.
• Blake Bortles, QB – sprouts – 29 pts – In spite of posting a good point total, Bortles received no love this week from Yahoo.  Here is a direct quote: “Bortles was utterly horrendous, and frankly, lucky not to get benched.  His motion has become a cross between side-armed Matthew Stafford and Tim Tebow.  At times it looked like he was trying to toss a fully-baked turkey.  All of Bortles ‘production’ came in garbage time.”  Dang, but tell me how you really feel about him.
• Tom Brady, QB – Bubble Craps Bandits – 29 pts – In the four games since Brady has been back, he is averaging 27 ppg which is the highest of any player across that time span.
• Jordan Howard, RB – Scottish Rebels – 28 pts – Howard was huge on Monday night, piling up 202 total yards and a TD against a tough Minnesota defense.
• Kirk Cousins, QB – Joe’s Pats – 27 pts – This was Cousin’s best game of the year, finishing with 458 yards, 2 TD’s and 1 INT.  Cousins is now the 8^th ranked QB in fantasy.

 

COME ON MAN

• Buffalo, DEF – Bubble Craps Bandits – 2 pts – Giving up 41 points to the Patriots is not going to get the job done.
• TY Hilton, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – Tyrone’s Youngin’ only managed to catch 1 of 6 passes thrown his way. 
• Julio Jones, WR – Young Guns – 2 pts – Julio has bounced back from bad performances well this season… 39 points (in Week 4 after scoring only 1 point in Week 3), and 19 pts (in Week 6 after scoring 2 points in Week 5).  We’ll see if he can do that again this week.
• Greg Olsen, TE – Young Guns – 1 pt – Off the bye week, Olsen has his worst game catching only one pass for 11 yards.
• Tyrell Williams, WR – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – One stinking catch for 4 stinking yards.
• LeSean McCoy, RB – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – Shady was officially inactive prior to the game, yet remained in Vandelay’s active lineup.
• Mark Ingram, RB – Young Guns – -2 pts – Here’s the opposite of a good stat line… 3 carries for -9 yards and a lost fumble.  Yuck.

 

MIDTERMS!

Once again this season, instead of giving out boring ol’ letter grades, I’m giving each team a much more exciting (and nebulous) stock grade.  If you’re unsure what your stock grade means, you are on par with about 99% of the country.  Now, as mentioned earlier, there are six categories in which teams were graded on.  Before getting to each team’s score and grade, I would like to highlight the top scoring team in each category:

Win % - Young Guns.  With a 5-1-2 record, Young Guns have the highest win percentage at 75.0%.

Points Scored – Scottish Rebels.  In spite of being 9^th in the standings, my Rebels have been putting up the points this season having scored 740 so far.

Weekly High Scores – sprouts.  Russ has taken 2 of 8 Weekly High Score Prizes thus far.

Best Benches – Joe’s Pats, Young Guns, SofaKingHorrible and ThatsAllIGotJerry all have not had a Best Bench this season.

Keeper Production – American BadAss.  Keepers Aaron Rodgers and David Johnson are averaging nearly 40 points combined per week.

Young Guns	Points
Win %	30
Points Scored	16
Points Against	1
Weekly High Score	14
Best Bench	7
Keeper Production	8
Total	76

Notes - Young Guns get a big boost by having the best overall record in the league, and being 2^nd in total scoring.

Grade = Strong Buy

ThatsAllIGotJerry	Points
Win %	21
Points Scored	12
Points Against	10
Weekly High Score	10
Best Bench	7
Keeper Production	3
Total	63

Notes - Jens has the third best win percentage in the league, and has the most points scored against him.

Grade = Buy

Coors Light Drunk Guys	Points
Win %	12
Points Scored	18
Points Against	5
Weekly High Score	14
Best Bench	2
Keeper Production	9
Total	60

Notes - The Drunks have scored the second most points this season, and have the 2^nd most production from keepers (when including first round pick Andrew Luck as a keeper along with Devonta Freeman).

Grade = Moderate Buy

Joe's Pats	Points
Win %	21
Points Scored	10
Points Against	6
Weekly High Score	14
Best Bench	7
Keeper Production	2
Total	60

Notes - Joe has the third best win percentage, but also the second worst keeper production (Jordan Reed and Jeremy Langford).

Grade = Moderate Buy

American BadAss	Points
Win %	27
Points Scored	14
Points Against	2
Weekly High Score	2
Best Bench	2
Keeper Production	10
Total	57

Notes - BadAss has the second best win percentage (62.5%) and has the best keeper production.

Grade = Hold

sprouts	Points
Win %	12
Points Scored	8
Points Against	4
Weekly High Score	20
Best Bench	2
Keeper Production	7
Total	53

Notes - Sprouts gets a boost for having snagged two weekly high scores, but ranks 7^th in overall scoring.

Grade = Hold

Scottish Rebels	Points
Win %	6
Points Scored	20
Points Against	8
Weekly High Score	10
Best Bench	1
Keeper Production	6
Total	51

Notes - My Rebels have scored the most points in the league, but have the 2^nd worst win percentage (37.5%).

Grade = Hold

Vandelay Industries	Points
Win %	12
Points Scored	4
Points Against	7
Weekly High Score	2
Best Bench	2
Keeper Production	5
Total	32

Notes - Vandelay ranks 9^th in total scoring and is tied for 5^th in win percentage (50.0%).

Grade = Weak Hold

Bubble Craps Bandits	Points
Win %	9
Points Scored	6
Points Against	3
Weekly High Score	2
Best Bench	2
Keeper Production	4
Total	26

Notes - The Bandits rank 8^th in win percentage, 8^th in points scored and 8^th in points against. 

Grade = Sell

SofaKingHorrible	Points
Win %	3
Points Scored	2
Points Against	9
Weekly High Score	2
Best Bench	7
Keeper Production	1
Total	24

Notes - The King ranks last in win percentage (18.75%), last in points scored and last in keeper production (Le’Veon Bell and Jamaal Charles).

Grade = Strong Sell

BEST BENCH(ES)

Week 7’s Best Bench was the lowest point improvement possibility of the season at only 28 points.  The winner was…sprouts!  Russ needed only two roster moves to make it happen: J. Hill for T. Gurley (+19) and M. Jones for A. Robinson (+9).

This week’s Best Bench was won by a team who is dominating this section this season.  No, not the Coors Light Drunk Guys (I’m as shocked as you are)…claiming a third Best Bench this year is, my Scottish Rebels!  This time I had a 36-point improvement possibility with 5, yes 5!!, roster moves:  J. Howard for R. Mathews (+21), D. Prescott for D. Brees (+6), A. Hurns for B. Cooks (+5), M. Crabtree for M. Evans (+3) and L. Miller for C. Michael (+1).

 There are only five weeks of the regular season left, then it will be time for playoffs!  Let’s do this!!