Scotland is Free! Week 1!

Winning the first Weekly High Score Prize of the season is a great way to kick off your year.  Over the last five years, here are the teams that have held that distinction along with where they finished overall:
2014 – Vandelay Industries (117 pts) – Runner-up
2013 – sprouts (133 pts) – 3rd Place
2012 – BoomGoesTheDynamite (117 pts) – Champion
2011 – American BadAss (112 pts) – 3rd Place
2010 – Lords of Lumberg (100 pts) – 5th Place
One fifth place finish, two thirds, a second and a Championship.  If history is any indication, my Rebels look poised for a run at the title this year!  Oh yeah!
The winning performance from my boys started on Thursday night with Gronk just obliterating the Steelers defense to the tune of 27 points, and it continued on Sunday with two of my early draft picks delivering strong performances... Seahawks defense (21 points) and Demarco Murray (13 points). Murray only finished with 20 total yards, but managed to find the end zone twice on Monday night. It's like they say in golf...it doesn't matter how, only matters how many!

This week we'll get our first check on the Browns and team defenses, see what perfection looks like from a rookie, and award a double Best Bench. Let's do this!!

NOW WE’RE TALKING!
-Carlos Hyde, RB - Scottish Rebels - 32 pts - Dude just went crazy against a porous Vikings defense racking up 168 yards rushing and 2 TD's, along with 14 receiving yards. Guess who just earned a starting roster spot?
-Tom Brady, QB - Bubble Crap Bandits - 27 pts - After defeating the NFL in federal court, facing the Pittsburgh Steelers must've seemed like a cake walk. Golden Boy sure made it look that way, putting up 288 yards passing and 4 TDs.
-Rob Gronkowski, TE - Scottish Rebels - 27 pts - There was a lot of talk from the Steelers prior to the season opener that they were going to be real physical with Gronk... checking him at the line of scrimmage, double-teaming, etc. Not only did they not do that, they didn't even cover him on one play, essentially letting him walk in for a touchdown. He showed why he is the best tight end in the game, finishing with 94 yards and 3 touchdowns.
-Julio Jones, WR - Z German Overlords - 26 pts - Impressive stats from JJ... 9 catches for 142 yards and 2 TDs!  Would've had even more had two big gains not been called back by penalties. He looks poised for a big year...
-Carson Palmer, QB - Coors Light Drunk Guys - 25 pts - Old man still getting it done! Deep throws, moving around in the pocket, scrambling...he did it all and looked good doing it! Final tally was 307 yards passing, 3 TD's, and 14 yards rushing.
-Tony Romo, QB - SofaKingLoveMyKicker - 25 pts - For all my badmouthing of Romo over the years, I must say that he actually came through big time on this one!  And in the clutch, no less.  I'm still not entirely sure how the Cowboys ended up beating the Giants in that one...seemed like a lost cause.  But all that matters is the score at the end of the game. Not the score with 42 seconds left! Romo put up a solid stat line (356 yards and three TD's), but did also have 2 interceptions. Hey, he is Romo after all...

COME ON, MAN!!
-Adrian Peterson, RB - Joe's Pats - 5 pts - Surely not the scorching start to the season that AP and about a billion fantasy owners were expecting. Sometimes a year off does a player good (see Carson Palmer) and sometimes it makes them slow and hesitant. Unfortunately for AP, it was the latter.
-Peyton Manning, QB - sprouts - 5 pts - Here's another stud who stumbled out of the blocks this year. Manning threw zero TD passes in the game, and had 1 interception. Contrast this to the opening game of 2013 when Manning threw for 7 TD's, 462 yards and 0 INT's on his way to 49 points. Now that is the way you start a season!!
-Steve Smith SR, WR - SofaKingLovemyKicker - 1 pt - Not for a lack of balls coming his way... Smith caught only 2 of 7 passes thrown to him, and only took those 2 for 13 yards.
-Greg Olsen, TE - Midnight Maulers - 1 pt - One catch for 11 yards. And that was against Jacksonville. Yuck.
-Adam Vinatieri, K - Midnight Maulers - 0 pts - Did he get injured? Did he not play? I see that the Colts scored 14 points, so there should have at least been an extra point in there or something. But just...nothing. Kickers man, what can you say?
-Owen Daniels, TE - Joe's Pats - 0 pts – Two for two! Daniels was 2-for-2 on catching balls thrown his way.  Unfortunately, he must have been catching sideways or backwards passes because he only netted 5 yards. Um..what??

ROOKIE PERFECTION
Marcus Mariota's football career is only going to get worse from here. He accomplished something in

his NFL debut that no other quarterback has ever achieved in their debut...he was perfect. His final stat line was 13 for 16, 209 yards and 4 TD's. That gave him a quarterback rating of 158.3. For those of you keeping score, the highest score on the QB rating scale that one can achieve is 158.3. He threw more touchdown passes than he did incompletions. He played so perfectly, and was so dominating that he was actually pulled out of the game in the 4th quarter. I mean, can you imagine?! A rookie QB got pulled out of his first game, not because he was getting killed and throwing pick-sixes, but because the coaches wanted to give the back-up some playing time. Simply amazing.

WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?
As I pointed out in last week's write up, the one NFL team that had no players drafted in our league was the Cleveland Browns. I'll be tracking them this year as my "All Unwanteds"...
Let's see how they did:
Their leading scorer was wide receiver Travis Benjamin, finishing with 14 points (89 yds and a TD).  After that it was Johnny Football with 8 points, and Travis Coons (the kicker) with 4 points.  Here is how the full roster shaped out:

QB	Johnny Manziel Cle - QB	8
RB	Isaiah Crowell Cle - RB	3
RB	Duke Johnson Jr. Cle - RB	2
WR	Travis Benjamin Cle - WR	14
WR	Brian Hartline Cle - WR	2
TE	Gary Barnidge Cle - TE	3
K	Travis Coons Cle - K	4
DEF	Cleveland Cle - DEF	1
	Total	37

Boy that is brutal… fairly obvious this week why these guys are free agents.  Wait, American BadAss actually owns Crowell?  And he started him? Get outta here!  No!!


DE-FENSE, (clap clap), DE-FENSE, (clap clap)
Defense is tough to predict.  You’re not just dealing with one guy…you’ve got 11 guys.  An injury to one guy could spell problems, or could bring in a new guy who kicks ass.  Defenses can be really high scoring (fantasy-wise) one season, and then fall to the bottom of the barrel the next.  Taking a defense early is a major gamble because it is hard to know how they will perform.  This all got me thinking that I need to track defenses from their preseason ranking through the end of the year to see if the "experts" have any idea what they are talking about.
So here are the Top 10 Defenses as ranked by Yahoo! experts on the day before the start of the season, and how they did in Week #1:

Rank	Defense/Special Teams	Week 1
1	Seattle Sea - DEF	Rk #1 - 21 pts
2	Buffalo Buf - DEF	Rk #13 - 9 pts
3	Houston Hou - DEF	Rk #22 - 2 pts
4	Philadelphia Phi - DEF	Rk #29 - 0 pts
5	St. Louis StL - DEF	Rk #5 - 16 pts
6	Arizona Ari - DEF	Rk #16 - 6 pts
7	New England NE - DEF	Rk #18 - 5 pts
8	Baltimore Bal - DEF	Rk #5 - 16 pts
9	Green Bay GB - DEF	Rk #16 - 6 pts
10	Kansas City KC - DEF	Rk #10 - 12 pts

Seattle, St. Louis, Baltimore and Kansas City performed at or above their projected rank.  Houston and Philadelphia were just atrocious and finished among the worst defenses in Week 1, while Buffalo, Arizona, New England and Green Bay all underperformed pretty significantly.  My prediction stands… I predict that there will be 2 or 3 highly ranked preseason defenses (currently SEA, STL and BAL) that finish the season as highly ranked defenses.  The rest will be a big jumble.

BEST BENCH(ES)
Not since Week 12 of 2013 have we had two teams earn the distinction of Best Bench in the same week.  Back then it was my Scottish Rebels and Channel 4 News Team sharing the crown with a 29-point improvement.  The winners this time had solid 35-point improvement possibilities, with quite a few roster changes.  The first was the Coors Light Drunk Guys who needed 5 roster changes to do it, and the second was sprouts who needed 4 roster changes to do it.  Due to space constraints, I’m not going to list out all of the changes this time…just take my word on it.


Okay, starting this week we will begin awarding the owner who picks the most winners from the weekly matchups with the top waiver spot. If you want that to be you, make sure to click on "League Pick Em" and pick which teams you think will be victorious!

Let’s go Week 2!!

2015! Let the games begin!

The draft! Oh the draft! It all seems to fly by so quickly leaving you saying, "Can we just redo that whole thing?" just a few hours later.  Crazy things happen in the draft...kickers go early, back-up quarterbacks get selected, unsigned players get picked, and one NFL team has no players selected. Wait... what? You mean to say that there is an entire team of professional football players in the NFL that doesn't have one player worthy of being selected out of 150 picks?! Yeah, apparently so... we'll get to that in a bit.

First, here are a couple of quick points about this year's draft:

-Most Selected Position - Wide receiver, with 44 selected (including keepers).

-2nd Most Selected Position - Runningback, with 40 selected (including keepers).

-The Most Homogeneous Round - Round 2 which saw 5 RB's and 5 WR's selected.

-The Most Diverse Round(s) - Rounds 10 & 12 which both saw all 6 positions selected (QB, RB, WR, TE, K, DEF).

-Kickers Going Early - 4 kickers were selected by Round 10... Last year that many kickers were not selected until Round 12.

-If You Need a Runningback, See Russ - sprouts loaded up on runningbacks, amassing a total of 6 in the draft, which was the most of any team.

-If You Need a Wide Receiver, Talk to the Champ - SofaKingHateRomo has a lot of guys to throw the ball to having drafted 6 wide receivers, the most of any team.

-Triple Option - Two teams went deep and drafted a 3rd quarterback position: sprouts and Z German Overlords.

-Confidence in Your Tight End - Those same two teams (sprouts and Z German Overlords) must feel confident in their tight end selection, as they only took one. All other teams took two.

-Always Good To Have Options - The Coors Light Drunk Guys and Midnight Maulers both have two kickers on their rosters. Hey, who am I to judge?

-Free Agents and Back-ups - The Ray Rice pick in the 11th round by Vandelay Industries stole the show as the biggest "Huh?" pick, as Rice is still unsigned and is drawing little to no interest. That pick must've thrown James for a loop because with the very next pick he selected RG3, a guy who had already been demoted from the starting position and could very well end up being released.

For something different this year, I took a look at which NFL teams had the most players drafted in our league. In all, 31 teams were represented along with one free agent. Before I get to the forgotten team, here are the teams with the most players picked...

Leading the way with 8 players selected... the Philadelphia Eagles!

Three teams had 7 players picked: the Dallas Cowboys, the Denver Broncos and the New England Patriots.

Three teams had 6 players chosen: the Detroit Lions (what?!), the Green Bay Packers and the Indianapolis Colts.

Eleven teams had five players selected: Arizona, Atlanta, Baltimore, Kansas City (hat tip to Timmy), Minnesota, New York Giants, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Seattle and San Francisco.

So which team was the forgotten team? Have you figured it out yet? Tennessee? Nope, they had 2 players picked. Jacksonville? Ha! Crazy as it sounds, there were actually three Jaguars that got picked. Even the lowly New York Jets had three players picked.  No, the team that had zero players selected in the draft was... the Cleveland Browns. Apparently no one thinks highly of a Josh McCown quarterbacked team, with Isiah Crowell in the backfield and Brian Hartline catching passes. Wow, are they really that bad? Yes, yes they are. However, as perception and reality can oftentimes be quite a ways apart, I would be willing to bet that at least one Cleveland player has a respectable year. (By "respectable" I mean that they will finish in the Top 12 of their respective position). I'll be tracking the Browns this season as my "Unwanteds", so we'll see how these poor rejects fare throughout the year.

Several seasons ago, I tracked kickers from their preseason rankings through the end of the year to see how accurate the "experts" we're at predicting that position. The results = not good. Top ranked kickers at the end of the year were generally ranked outside of the top 10 or even the top 20 during the preseason. (Stephen Gostkowski was the lone exception.) This season, I'm going to do the same with defenses.

It has seemed like over the last several years, the Defense position has become more and more of a crapshoot (I don't speak of craps anymore)...err, more and more of an enigma, where you just never know what you're going to get. Like Forrest's box of chocolates. So I'm going to lock in the Yahoo! Defense rankings as of Sept. 9th, the day before the start of the regular season and see how they fare for the season. My prediction is that there will be 2 or 3 highly ranked preseason defenses that finish as highly ranked defenses and the remaining 29 teams will be a big jumble.

Alright, so that is it for now... James, your title defense is in full swing and we are all gunning for you!! Best of luck to everyone, except when you are playing my team! HAHA!!

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!?!?

The King is Crowned!!

I’ve called him Jameson, Cap’N and MAJOR, and now everyone can simply call him Champ!  James rode Beast-mode to a victory Sunday night to become only the second team in Sacred Sundays history to win the league championship more than once.  James won his first championship back in 2005, and now is back on top nine years later!  Early on this time it was looking doubtful as Marshawn Lynch didn’t start Sunday night’s game for the Seahawks, and didn’t even really appear interested to go into the game as he was apparently suffering from an upset stomach.  But ultimately he got in the game and just thrashed the Cardinals defense, finishing with 23 points and giving Sofa King Back Baby a 4-point victory over Vandelay Industries!  Way to go MAJOR!!!  You are the CHAMPION!!!

Much credit has to go to Louis and Vandelay Industries as well, who in only their second season claimed 2 Weekly High Score Prizes, won the South Division and finished as the 2nd place team overall!  Andrew Luck had been an absolute stud all season, but became an absolute dud in the championship game registering a big fat goose egg.  It is odd how it works out that way sometimes with big-time players not showing up in the big-time moments.  But it was still a super successful season and I tip my hat to you!

Also for the final Weekly high Score Prize of the year, the congratulations go to the X German Overlords who started Ryan Tannehill of all people, who went on to have a career game against the Vikings, throwing for 396 yards and 4 TD’s...finishing with 32 points.  That, along with Odell Beckham Jr.’s 26 points gave Jens 97 for the week which topped all scorers, and secured a third place overall finish.  Well done Jens!  As you said in Week 10, you had your team built to play well in the final weeks of the season, and they did just that.  Not sure how, but they did.  What do you know?!?!?

As far as the rest of the standings, here is how things broke down:
1) Sofa King Back Baby – James
2) Vandelay Industries – Louis
3) X German Overlords – Jens
4) Scottish Rebels – Jerry
5) American BadAss – Jason
6) sprouts – Russ
7) Coors Light Drunk Guys – Shawn
8) Joe’s Pats – Joe
9) Channel 4 News Team – Timmy
10) Midnight Maulers – Jamie

The draft order for 2015 will be the reverse order of those standings, so start prepping now! *LOL*
 Keepers will need to be declared one week after the conclusion of the NFL draft which takes place at the end of April.  I’ll send out emails as we get closer to that.  Also, preliminary plans right now are to have the draft over Labor Day Weekend again and to meet up in Vegas once again!  Shawn has already said that he is going to be there (with his wallet this time), so you don’t want to miss seeing that!  Ha!  Once we get around keeper declaration time, we’ll start looking at making more definitive plans.

Here is the final tally on money winnings for this season:
1) Sofa King Back Baby – James - $375 (3 Weekly High Scores + Championship)
2) X German Overlords – Jens - $217 (3 Weekly High Scores + 3rd Place)
3) Vandelay Industries – Louis - $213 (2 Weekly High Scores + 2nd Place)
4) American BadAss – Jason - $150 (3 Weekly High Scores)
5) Scottish Rebels – Jerry - $145 (2 Weekly High Scores + 4th Place)
6) Coors Light Drunk Guys – Shawn - $100 (2 Weekly High Scores)
7) Joe’s Pats – Joe - $50 (1 Weekly High Score)

Congrats to everyone who won cash!  I will send each of you a separate email to make sure I have your correct address and will get checks mailed out this week.

Lastly, it has been an awesome season…I can’t hardly believe that we have already come to the end.  These 16 weeks of football just seem to fly by!  Many thanks to all you guys for making this league so much fun and giving me an excuse to watch football all day on Sunday.  I’m already looking forward to next year’s draft and season!

But we wouldn’t be complete this year without awarding the final Best Bench…  And it is only fitting that the master of the bench finished the year with his best effort of all!  So for Week 16, and for the sixth time this year, the Best Bench goes to… Joe’s Pats!!  As mentioned before, this was Joe’s best Best Bench of the year with an impressive 57-point improvement possibility.  Four roster moves:  A. Gates for T. Wright (+20), R. Wilson for M. Ryan (+19), A. Jeffery for T. Hilton (+13) and C. Ivory for L. Blount (+5).


So that puts a wrap on this season… Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you and your families!!

Wildcard Weekend!!

Wildcard weekend has wrapped up, so now there are only four teams left vying for the 2014 Championship!  In the first wildcard game, Jens' newly named "Sprouted" sprang to life and amassed an awesome 132 points!  Sprouted did it with great games from the St. Louis Defense (2nd shutout in a row!, 30 pts), Jordy Nelson (26 pts) and Jay Cutler (25 pts, what the hell?!).  Russ' sprouts meanwhile had a rough go of it, primarily because Peyton Manning posted a measly 2 points, and sprouts only player to score double digits was his kicker, Stephen Gostkowski.  But congratulation on the big game Jens!  That is the second highest single-week total this season and is the second Weekly High Score Prize for Where Is Shawn's Wallet/Down Goes Jason/Sofa King Stupid/PappaNobleJr2/BeatsByRay/Brady Gaga/Lovin the Bye Week/Fantasy Nightmare/German Kickers/Brusselsprouts/Starck Industries/3rd Down Cowbell/They Call Him Daddy/Sprouted.

In the second wildcard game, Sofa King Back Baby took out the juggernaut that is American BadAss, and left Jason out of the Final Four for only the 4th time in Sacred Sundays history.  It was a close game too, only separated by 5 points.  Sofa King Back Baby got a huge game from Le'Veon Bell (44 pts) which pretty much carried him to the victory.  For BadAss, Aaron Rodgers nearly closed the gap on Monday night with a solid 27-point performance, but came up just short.

Just a quick write-up this week, so let's get to it!

NOW THAT'S THE INSIDE STUFF
-Le'Veon Bell, RB - Sofa King Back Baby – 44 pts – Games like this don’t happen very often, and to get one in the playoffs is truly a magical thing.  Bell went crazy for 185 yards and 2 TD’s on the ground, plus 50 yards and 1 TD receiving.  This ties for the 12th highest single-week point total for a player all-time, and the 6th highest for a runningback all-time.

-Cam Newton, QB – Channel 4 News Team – 35 pts – This is the dominating Cam Newton that we are used to seeing…dude had 226 yards and 3 TD’s through the air, plus had 83 yards and a TD on the ground.  Love that!

-Julio Jones, WR – Joe’s Pats – 34 pts – Jones came out in the second half against Green Bay like a man possessed and nearly won the game for the Falcons.  He finished with 259 yards (on only 11 catches), plus a TD.  He nearly had a second TD, but got tackled at the 5 yard line on a long run.

-Matt Ryan, QB – Joe’s Pats – 34 pts – Ryan had his best game of the season, throwing for 375 yards and 4 TD’s but added one interception.

-Ben Roethlisberger, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 31 pts – Big Ben got all his points through the air, literally.  Threw for 350 yards plus 3 TD’s, and had 1 carry for -1 yard.  Let’s just say hes not very mobile.


COME ON, MAN!
-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 2 pts – This is the only Come On Man that I can do this week because it is just so shocking.  I’ve kept good week by week player records for the last 3 seasons, and Peyton has only scored in single digits one other time…Week 2 of 2012 when he had 7 points.  Manning’s line this week against the Bills…178 yds, 0 TD’s and 2 interceptions.  Make sure you remember where you were when you saw this, because this is a rarity.

PLAYOFFS??!?
Semi-final matchups this week, and thankfully, the games listed on the website are correct.  My Scottish Rebels will face off against the giant-killing Sofa King Back Baby and Vandelay Industries will battle Sprouted.  Also, to determine the 5th and 6th place finishes, American BadAss will play sprouts.  Remember that all teams are still eligible to win the Weekly High Score Prize, so make sure you have your line-up ready!


BEST BENCH
I’m almost to the point of renaming this segment “Joe’s Bench”, because Joe’s Pats continue to dominate when it comes to bench players.  For the second week in a row, and for the fifth time this season, Joe claims another Best Bench.  And just like last week, he had another 40-point improvement possibility with four roster moves:  J. Jones for E. Sanders +28, M. Ryan for R. Wilson +6, J. Cameron for T. Wright +4 and C. Ivory for L. McCoy +2.


Only two weeks to go this season!!!  It's the final stretch!

Let the playoffs begin!!!

What a way to finish out the regular season!  Five teams broke the 100-point barrier, and three of those teams broke the 120-point barrier!  Also, bucking the trend that we have seen recently, all of the teams that scored over 100 won their games.  That makes a total of 39 times this season that teams have broken the triple-digit mark, with 34 of those resulting in victories.  A win percentage of 87.2% is why I always recommend scoring over 100 if you want to give your team the best chance to win.  Historically speaking, the win percentage for scoring over 100 points is 87.7%, so this season has been practically right in line with that.  Two more notes on the scores this week: 1) This is only the third time in Sacred Sundays history that 5 or more teams scored over 100 points, and 2) the 978 points scored this week mark the 5th highest single-week scoring total ever.

But none were higher this week that Mr. Shawn Martin and his Coors Light Drunk Guys who set a season-high record with a stellar 140-point performance.  F.  N.  A.  Nice!  The Drunk Guys got terrific performances from Drew Brees (30 points) and recent addition DeAndre Hopkins (38 points).  Add to that Arian Foster’s 15 and the Denver D’s 15, and Shawn was unstoppable this week.  Well done senor!

Now everyone's thoughts should be geared toward the playoffs.  The Yahoo! site does not allow me a lot of flexibility in terms of setting playoff match-ups, so don't go by what you see on the site.  See below for actual playoff qualifiers and seeding.

But first, some quick hits...

AWWYEAH!
-Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB - Free Agent - 42 pts - This guy is only owned in 8% of all leagues, and probably only started in like 0.2% of those.  So those four teams that started him were treated to a 6 touchdown, 358 yard performance.  Holy cow! (Get it?...Because the Texans' helmet has a cow on it?...*tap tap* Is this thing on?)

-DeAndre Hopkins, WR - Coors Light Drunk Guys - 38 pts - What a way to welcome a guy to your team?!  238 yards and 2 TD’s…just doesn’t get much better.

-Andrew Luck, QB - Vandelay Industries - 35 pts - Just another day at the office for Luck, tossing a mere 5 TD's and 370 yards.  Luck leads all fantasy scorers by 26 with 307 points scored this year.

-Le'Veon Bell, RB - Sofa King Back - 33 pts - Solid game on the ground for Bell, rushing 21 times for 95 yards and a TD, but he did even better catching the ball 8 times for 159 yards!

-Tre Mason, RB - sprouts - 33 pts - Mason was rolling against the Raiders and finished with 164 total yards (117 rushing, 47 receiving) and 3 touchdowns (2 rushing, 1 receiving).

-St. Louis, DEF – WhatDoYouKnow 2 – 32 pts – After a game like that, the NFL might need to consider installing a mercy rule.  I mean, 52-0?  Six sacks, five turnovers and 1 touchdown.  That just shouldn’t happen at the pro level.  But playing against the Raiders might not qualify as playing against a pro-level team.

-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 30 pts – A quarterback throws five touchdown passes and he’s not the top QB for the week...or even the second best?  This league has gone pass wacky.

-Philip Rivers, QB – Midnight Maulers – 29 pts – This was the week of QB’s.

-Colt McCoy, QB – Free Agent – 29 pts – See what I mean?

-Ben Roethlisberger, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 28 pts – I wasn’t kidding.

-Aaron Rodgers, QB – American BadAss – 27 pts – I can keep going all night.


COME ON, MAN!
-Tim Wright, TE – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – On the flip side, it really sucked to be a tight end this week.

-Delanie Walker, TE – American BadAss – 0 pts – See what I mean?

-Jimmy Graham, TE – Sofa King Back Baby – 0 pts – Really?  Graham?

-Jason Witten, TE – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – You too, Witten?  Come on man!


ALL UNDRAFTEDS
This has been an extremely challenging year for our Undrafted Squad, although they did show a bit of life in Week 12 and finished with 124 points and their second victory of the season.  Week 13 represents their (thankfully) final game of the season.  Here is how these poor chaps fared:
Jake Locker Ten 1
Justin Forsett Bal 11
Mark Ingram NO 12
Greg Jennings Min 10
Allen Hurns Jax 4
Delanie Walker Ten 0
Minnesota Min 27
Matt Bryant Atl 18
Total 83
With the league average of 97.4, this goes down as one final loss, for a final record of 2-11.  There were a few gems on this team this season (Steve Smith Sr, Minnesota D) but by and large I think it was pretty obvious why these guys went undrafted.


PLAYOFFS?? DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!!!
As mentioned earlier, Yahoo! does not provide me with much (or any) flexibility on setting playoff match-ups and does not follow the tie-breakers and seedings that we use for the playoffs.  As we have always done, the top two teams from each division automatically qualify along with two wildcard teams.  So here is how the seeds breakdown:

#1 – Scottish Rebels – North Division Champion and best overall record.
#2 – Vandelay Industries – South Division Champion by virtue of best record in division.
#3 – American BadAss – North Division Runner-up by virtue of division record.
#4 – sprouts – South Division Runner-up by virtue of overall record.
#5 – WhatDoYouKnow 2 – Wildcard #1 by virtue of overall record.
#6 – Sofa King Back Baby – Wildcard #2 by virtue of win-loss record against Coors Light Drunk Guys.

The remaining teams finish in this order:
#7 – Coors Light Drunk Guys – by virtue of overall record.
#8 – Joe’s Pats – by virtue of overall record.
#9 – Channel 4 News Team – by virtue of total points scored.
#10 – Midnight Maulers – rough season.
So this means that Jamie George will be picking first in next season’s draft.  Jamie, you are on the clock!

As far as the matchups go for Week 14, my Rebels and Vandelay Industries have a bye, American BadAss plays Sofa King Back Baby, and sprouts plays WhatDoYouKnow 2.  Remember that in the playoffs there are no tie games…any ties prior to the Championship game go to the higher seeded team.  Tie games in the Championship game will be settled as follows: 1) Team with the highest scoring QB wins, 2) Team with the highest scoring RB wins, 3) Team with the highest scoring WR wins, 4) If still tied at that point, co-champions will be declared.  Now as a reminder what we are playing for, here is a breakdown on the prize money:
Champion - $225
Runner-up - $113
3rd Place - $67
4th Place - $45
Lastly, remember that throughout the playoffs all teams are still eligible to win the Weekly High Score prize, so make sure you have your roster set each week!


ESOTERIC JOKE(S)
I figured I’d do a flashback to a running item from last season:
-It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally.

-There are two types of people in the world: Those who crave closure

And finally, one for Jensy:
-A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini.  The bartender asks, “Dry?”  He replies “Nein, just one.”


BEST BENCH
In 13 weeks, 7 different teams have claimed a Best Bench.  No team has won it more times than this week’s winner, who pulled down their fourth of the season.  So for the fourth time, and with a 40-point improvement possibility, the Week 13 Best Bench goes to…Joe’s Pats.  This time Joe need four roster moves: J. Jones for E. Sanders (+20), A. Jeffrey for TY Hilton (+7), A. Gates for T. Wright (+7) and D. Martin for L. Blount (+6).


Now is when it really counts!  Get ready for Round 1 of the playoffs!!

Double it up!!

That is the way you do it!  Two in a row!  For the first time since Week 4 of last year we have a back-to-back Weekly High Score winner.  Channel 4 News Team was the last one to do it, and now Major James Hand has accomplished the feat with another dominating performance this week.  James had big games from Mike Evans and Le’Veon Bell who both scored over 30 points, and he had Tom Brady add 14.  Well done sir!  And speaking of two-in-a-rows, for the second week in a row the 2nd highest scoring team lost to the highest scoring team.  Sorry Jens...

Now with only two games left in the regular season, everyone should be thinking playoffs.  An interesting thing has happened between the two divisions.  Every team in the North Division has a winning record and only one team in the South Division has a winning record.  Depending on how these final weeks play out, the second place team in the South Division could qualify for the playoffs with a losing record.  How weird would that be?  Check out below for each team’s playoff scenarios.  Also, check out the mind-blowing revelation that I made this week...

So on with it!!


OH YEAH!!
-Jonas Gray, RB – Free Agent – 46 pts – Highest single-game score ever for a New England Patriot.  Crazy.  Did not see this one coming...

-Mike Evans, WR – Sofa King Back Baby – 35 pts – Over the last three games, Evans is averaging nearly 26 points.  That is 8 points better than the next closest wide receiver (Emmanuel Sanders).

-Green Bay, DEF – Free Agent – 32 pts – The Packers dropped the hammer on the Eagles and sacked Dirty Sanchez 3 times, got 2 interceptions and 2 fumble recoveries (2 of which were returned for touchdowns), and had a punt return touchdown.

-Jamaal Charles, RB – Channel 4 News Team – 29 pts – Jamaal scored 2 touchdowns to go along with 159 yards.  That makes 7 touchdowns in his last 6 games.  !Me gusto!

-Aaron Rodgers, QB – American BadAss – 28 pts – Rodgers has scored over 20 points in his last 5 games, and over 25 points in four of those.  That is just utter domination!


COME ON, MAN…
-T.Y. Hilton, WR – Joe’s Pats – 2 pts – On the bright side, this was Tyrone’s Youngin’ worst game of the season.

-Trent Richardson, RB – Channel 4 News Team – 2 pts – Richardson is going to get a chance to shine with Ahmad Bradshaw out.  You are liable to see him score 4 points...maybe...

-Jimmy Graham, TE – Sofa King Back Baby – 2 pts – After going for 11, 14 and 19 points, Graham was bound to cool off.  Just didn’t think it would come on a home game against the Bengals.

-Martavis Bryant, WR – American BadAss – 1 pt – Not a good night for Martavis as he only managed 2 catches for 11 yards.

-Travis Kelce, TE – Channel 4 News Team – 1 pt – Excluding Week 9’s 12-point performance, Kelce has not gotten more than four points in his last 5 games and has posted back-to-back 1-point games.

-Terrance West, RB – Midnight Maulers – 1 pt – West got 12 yards on 5 carries.  But as bad as that sounds, it wasn’t as bad as Browns running back Ben Tate who finished with -9 yards on two carries.  That’s just funny.

-Vernon Davis, TE – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Davis’ season looked so bright in Week 1 after scoring 16 points.  Since then he has scored 9 points.  Nine freaking points in nine games.  Y-U-C-K.


PLAYOFFS?!
It is an unbelievably tight race coming into these final two weeks.  Because of the way it has worked out, both wildcard spots are going to come from the North Division.  Also, the South Division teams are only battling for Division Runner-up as Vandelay has already claimed the division title.  Here are some possible scenarios:
In For Sure:
-Vandelay Industries – Claimed the South Division title.  Three games ahead with only two left means that no one can catch them.
-Scottish Rebels – In the playoffs and can claim the North Division title by winning both remaining games or by winning one game and a loss from American BadAss.
-American BadAss – In the playoffs and can claim the North Division title by winning both remaining games PLUS two losses from Scottish Rebels.

Most Likely Eliminated
-Channel 4 News Team – It appears that even if the News Boys win out, the best case scenario would be a tie with the Midnight Maulers, where they would lose on the division record tie-breaker.

Everyone Else
-Joe’s Pats – Win one game PLUS one loss from Midnight Maulers.
-Midnight Maulers – Win both games PLUS one loss from Joe’s Pats.
-sprouts – Win both games PLUS two losses from Joe’s Pats.
-Sofa King Back Baby – Win both remaining games.
-3rd Down Cowbell – Win both remaining games.
-Coors Light Drunk Guys – Win both remaining games.

From the looks of it, there are going to be a lot of tie-breakers used in the North Division.  Read last week’s column for a summary of the tie-breakers.  Do not refer to the tie-breakers that Yahoo! has listed on the website, as we will not use those.  Bottom line for all teams still in contention – Win both of your remaining games and you will probably make it in.

ARE THOSE BUGLE BOY JEANS?
Prepare to have your mind blown.  The waist size on your pants is not the measurement around your waist.  You know how women’s clothes use a ridiculous sizing method with only one number that is somehow supposed to translate to a length and a width?  Women grab a size 8 pair of pants off the rack, and really have no idea if it will fit or not, as the waist might be perfect but the length is too short, or the length is perfect but the waist is wrong, or both the waist and the length are wrong even though a size 8 fits perfect in a different brand.  The rationale with women’s clothes sizing is that no woman wants to be a size 36 waist, so the manufacturers call that an 8, or a 7, or a 9, or who knows?  Call it “vanity sizing”.  This has always been something that I’ve included on my “Why it’s better to be a man” list, in that men don’t have to fret so much when buying pants because our pants just have the waist and length measurements stamped on the tag.

Well as it turns out, I have been led horribly astray.  Apparently men’s pants have the same “vanity sizing” going on.  Over the weekend, I just happened to grab a tape measure and measure my waist.  To my dismay, it was not 34 inches as my pant size would have me believe…nope, it was a solid 37 inches.  (Healthy boy!!)  A quick internet search turned up the truth that a 34 waist size does not mean a 34-inch waist.  Wait…what?!  Even worse is that it can vary quite dramatically across clothing manufacturers and retailers.  According to one report, a 36 waist size can measure from 37 inches to all the way up to 41 inches!  (The 41-inch size 36 pants can be found at Old Navy).  As mentioned before...my mind is blown.


ALL UNDRAFTEDS
Things have gone from bad to worse for our poor undrafted team… this last week was just a mess as both quarterbacks are not playing, all four wide receivers scored zero (either due to bye weeks or just sucking), and both tight ends were on bye weeks.  So they only managed a measly 35 points, which goes down as another loss, dropping their record to 1-10.


BEST BENCH
They say good things come in three’s, so this week’s Best Bench winner is taking home their third Best Bench this season, and only needed three roster moves to do it.  Also, they had a 31-point improvement possibility (see that “3” in there?).  Without further adieu, this week’s Best Bench goes to…Joe’s Pats!!  All Joe needed to do was swap A. Jeffery for TY Hilton (+17), R. Wilson for M. Ryan (+8) and Steelers for Patriots (+6).


Okay, only two weeks left of the regular season!  This is the last week we have to contend with bye weeks.  Get your waiver claims in and get your rosters ready!!

The King has returned...

It's good to be the king...

As George Costanza famously said, “I’m back in business, baby!”  James is now making that same claim after a dominating Week 10 performance and posting the highest score of the season, 138 points!!  Sofa King Back Baby got great performances from Marshawn Lynch and Dez Bryant who combined for 70 points, along with 19 points from Jimmy Graham.  Not bad when you can get 89 points from just three players.  The victory moves James to a 5-5 record and right in the thick of the playoff hunt.  More on that below.  Awesome job, MAJOR!!

Last week it was Brusselsprouts who put on the big show and pulled down a Weekly high Score Prize with a solid 122-point performance.  Jens did it on the back of Ryan Tannehill (27 pts) and Alfred Morris (22 pts) along with a pair of 18-point performances from Odell Beckham Jr. and Andre Ellington.  Jens’ victory came against sprouts who had the 2nd highest total of the week, which is the second time this season that that has happened to sprouts.  Ouch for Russ, but nice job Jensy!!

Since Jens won a High Score Prize last week, and James won one this week, that makes 7 different teams that have won a prize this season.  Now with only 3 weeks left of the regular season, it is time to start prepping for the playoffs!  Below is a first look at what it will take for each team to get in.

But first, some quick observations…


BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA
-Marshawn Lynch, RB – Sofa King Back Baby – 40 pts – That’s why they call him “Beast Mode”!  Lynch was on fire, rattling off 140 yards and 4!!! touchdowns!  Lynch's performance tied for the 5th best fantasy performance by a runningback in Sacred Sundays history.

-Aaron Rodgers, QB – American BadAss – 36 pts – When you throw for 315 yards and 6 touchdowns, people will say you had a great game.  When you throw for 315 yards and 6 touchdowns in the first half of a game, people will start to wonder if you were playing against a high school defense.  Hard to imagine just how many TD’s Rodgers would have thrown had he played the full game...

-Philadelphia, DEF – American BadAss – 32 pts – The Eagles actually gave up 21 points, but added an astounding 9 sacks, 3 interceptions, 2 fumble recoveries and 2! touchdowns (1 pick six and 1 punt return).  That really is bad ass!

-Jordy Nelson, WR – Starck Industries – 30 pts – Well someone had to catch all those balls that Rodgers was throwing… Nelson helped himself to two of the touchdowns.

-Dez Bryant, WR – Sofa King Back Baby – 30 pts – Dez would not be stopped on his two touchdown catches!  He basically caught those passes and then willed his was to the endzone.  Nice!

-Peyton Manning, QB – sprouts – 29 pts – Check it out...how crazy is it to have a quarterback throw for 340 yards and 5 touchdowns (which Peyton did), and have that not be the top QB performance for the week?  I mean...what?


COME ON, MAN
-A.J. Green, WR – Channel 4 News Team – 2 pts – This one really wasn’t A.J.’s fault as Andy Dalton threw the football with the accuracy of a drunk frat-boy.  Seriously, what was wrong with that guy?

-Steve Smith Sr., WR – Scottish Rebels – 1 pt – After a great start to the season and averaging 12.8 points per game through the first 6 games, Senior Steve is averaging 3.25 per his last four games.

-Lamar Miller, RB – American BadAss – 1 pt – Miller only carried the ball five times, but the Dolphins are insisting that he’s not injured… um, okay…

-Travis Kelce, TE – Channel 4 News Team – 1 pt – Good news...Kelce caught every pass thrown his way.  Bad news...That was only 2 passes for 19 yards.

-Terrance Williams, WR – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – Williams’ response to a 1-point game last week, was a zero point game this week.  Going in the wrong direction there T.

-Montee Ball, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – Tough to score points when they are declared inactive before the game.  Check your roster!!!


PLAYOFFS?!  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!!
Quick refresher - The top 2 teams in each division automatically qualify for the playoffs and two more teams get in with wildcards.  The top team for each division will receive a first round bye.  The wildcard spots are not division-dependent meaning that both wildcards could come from the same division.  Here are the tie-breakers that we will use for determining playoff spots:

Division standings -
1) Overall record
2) Division record
3) Head-to-Head record
4) Points scored
5) Coin flip

Wild Card standings -
1) Overall record
2) Head-to-Head record
3) Points scored
4) Coin flip

If the playoffs started this week these teams would be in:
American BadAss
Vandelay Industries
Scottish Rebels
Joe’s Pats
Starck Industries
Sofa King Back Baby

That means that these six teams are in control of their own destiny and simply need to win out to guarantee that they will make it to the playoffs.

Teams that are right on the bubble:
Coors Light Drunk Guys
Midnight Maulers
With just a scosche of help, Shawn and Jamie should be able to make it in.

Teams that need some help:
sprouts
Channel 4 News Team
There are several scenarios to get sprout in the playoffs, and I even found one scenario where Channel 4 News Team gets in (with some tie-breaker help).  It's slim, but it exists.  So no one has been mathematically eliminated.  Next week I will have the full playoff scenarios for every team.


BEST BENCH
The Midnight Maulers hold the record for the lowest Best Bench Award all-time, when in Week 7-2011, they captured the award with a minuscule 16-point improvement possibility.  This week’s winner was only two points off of that, as there were not many bench points to be had.  So, with an 18-point improvement possibility the Week 10 award for Best Bench goes to…sprouts!  This is Russ’ third Best Bench this season, and this time he only needed swap out his runningbacks to do it:  S. Jackson for R. Hillman (+14) and B. Tate for T. Mason (+4).


Alright, get those waiver claims in and make the final push to the playoffs!!