PLAYOFFS!!!

It’s playoff time!!  Teams that made it in:  American BadAss, BoomGoesTheDynamite, Joe’s Pats, sprouts, Midnight Maulers and Coors Light Drunk Guys.  Congratulations to all of you!  Each of you has earned a $20 bonus for qualifying.  Now you are playing for the big bucks, with the Champion taking home $100 and Runner-up getting $50.

But the big congrats this week go to American BadAss and BoomGoesTheDynamite, who tied for the Weekly High Score prize with 120 points!  This is the first tie for the Weekly High Score Prize that we have had all year, and it only seems fitting that it was between the two division winners.  The last time we had a tie for high score was back in Week 15 of 2008, when Jason and Timmy tied with 98 points.  But well done Jason and Jens!  Let’s see if you can carry that scoring into the playoffs…

I’m gonna be swamped this week at work with 2013 budgeting, so just a few quick notes:

•  Two teams have scored over 100 points in each of the last three weeks:  SOFA KING GOOD and my Scottish Rebels.  How is it that two teams peaking at just the right time are out of the playoffs?  Just doesn’t seem right.

• SOFA KING GOOD was the top scoring team for the regular season (1,223 points) but also had the most points scored against them (1,345).  In terms of the points scored lead, KING outscored the next closest (Boom) by 26, but in points against, KING had 99 more points against than the next closest (Scottish Rebels).  That there is just some bad luck.

• Rob Gronkowski has not scored a single point for the last 2 weeks due to injury, but is still the top scoring tight end in all of fantasy. 

• All teams are still eligible to win the Weekly High Score Prize, so make sure you have your line-up set each week!

• If you need a refresher on the playoff tiebreakers, read any of the past couple weeks articles, or refer to the email that I sent out this week.

Now, no week would be complete without a Best Bench being awarded.  This week it wasn’t even close… with a big 50-point improvement, the Best Bench goes to: the Coors Light Drunk Guys!  This is Shawn’s 5^th Best Bench of the season!  He just really loves leaving points on the bench!  Lol!  This time only three roster moves were necessary:  A. Luck for D. Brees (+28), Arizona for Green Bay (+12) and A. Boldin for M Wallace (+10).  But don’t feel too bad Shawn, even with your optimal line-up, you still would’ve lost Round 2 of the What Do You Know?! Bowl.

Get ready for Week 14!  Man this thing sure flies by…

Final push to the playoffs!

Scoring over 100 points just isn’t what it used to be…  This week four teams managed to break into the triple digits, and all were matched up against each other!  In the highest scoring game of the season (236 total points scored), BoomGoesTheDynamite edged SOFA KING GOOD 123-113, and in the other matchup Joe’s Pats defeated my Rebels 126-103.  These scores marked the 28th time teams have scored over 100 points this season, with only 4 of those occurring in a losing effort.  Going back to 2007, scoring over 100 points means victory 88.4% of the time, so to have two teams lose with over 100 points in the same week is not a common occurrence, having happened only three times prior.  In fact, SOFA KING GOOD’s 113 points is the 3rd highest score ever posted in a loss.

The congrats for the High Score this week go to Joe’s Pats who as mentioned above scored 126 points, largely due to three players: Tom Brady, Bryce Brown and the New England Defense.  Those three combined for 87 points, or 69% of Joe’s total score!  And it was a good thing too, because Joe’s tight end (Vernon Davis) had zero points this week.  So Joe essentially took the high score with only seven players!  This is his third high score prize of the season, tying sprouts for the most high scores this year.  Also, for the second week in a row, the high scoring team was playing against my Scottish Rebels.  So something that I’m doing seems to be bringing out the best in teams…lol!  (Sprouts might well be poised for their fourth Weekly High Score Prize next week as they are my opponent to close out the season.)  But congratulations, Joe!  The win has secured you a spot in the playoffs!

Speaking of the playoffs… with only one week left, there are four teams in and still 5 teams alive to make it in!  It doesn’t get much better than that!  See below for scenarios on what it will take to qualify.  But first, some observations…

OH YEAH!

-Cam Newton, QB – Scottish Rebels – 37 pts – After a roller-coaster start to the season, Cam has looked good over the last four weeks, averaging 22.25 ppg.  Monday night was his best performance of the season, where he threw for two touchdowns and ran for two.

-Tony Romo, QB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 30 pts – Romo attempted 62 passes on Thanksgiving, completing 37 for 441 yards, 3 touchdowns and 2 interceptions.  This was Romo’s best performance of the season, in spite of losing to the Redskins.

-Tom Brady, QB – Joe’s Pats – 30 pts – The Patriots thumped the Jets on Thanksgiving, led by Brady who had an immaculate stat line – 323 passing yards, 3 passing TD’s, 0 interceptions, 5 rushing yards and 1 rushing TD.  Brady has scored 30 or more points twice this season, and has never scored less than 14.

-Bryce Brown, RB – Joe’s Pats – 29 pts – Out of nowhere, this guy went off for 178 yards and 2 touchdowns while filling in for LeSean McCoy.  And he did this on only 19 carries…an incredible 9.37 yards/carry!  However, he did lose two fumbles so that hurts, and could hurt his playing time down the road.  Side note- this guy is so new and unknown, that Yahoo! doesn’t even have a picture for him on his player profile.

-Matthew Stafford, QB – Gotham’s Reckoning – 28 pts – With 441 yards on Turkey Day, Stafford surpassed 11,000 yards for his career.  (His career has only been 40 games).  Kurt Warner is the only quarterback who reached 11,000 yards in fewer games.  Stafford’s 441 yards also set a record as the most yards thrown by a Lion’s QB on Thanksgiving.

-RG3, QB – SOFA KING GOOD – 28 pts – Pretty sure the Rookie of the Year voting is a foregone conclusion.  RG3 lit it up again, throwing for 311 yards, 4 touchdowns and 1 interception.

COME ON, MAN

-Green Bay, DEF – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – The Packers surrendered 38 points, and only managed 1 sack against the Giants.  They did get 188 return yards, which was the only thing that kept them in the positive numbers this week.

-Vernon Davis, TE – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – After a big week last week scoring 14 points, Davis was held without a single catch this week.

-Mike Wallace, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – Wallace had one catch for 9 yards and it came on the final play of the game against Cleveland.  That just sucks.

-James Jones, WR – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – It is hard to record any catches when your quarterback doesn’t even throw the ball your way.  That’s exactly what happened to Jones… not one single target in Green Bay’s loss to the Giants.

PLAYOFFS

Only one week to go, and we now officially have four teams that have qualified for the playoffs!  American BadAss, sprouts, Joe’s Pats and BoomGoesTheDynamite are all in, and have earned the extra $20 bonus for qualifying.  Only one team is officially out… that would be my Scottish Rebels.  The remaining five teams all still have a shot to make it in.  In a crazy scenario, we could end up with all five of those teams (SOFA KING GOOD, Coors Light Drunk Guys, Midnight Maulers, Frito Pie and Gotham’s Reckoning) finishing with records of 6-7.  So before we get into the individual team scenarios, let’s take a look at who would qualify if that were to happen…

 

For that scenario to happen, BoomGoesTheDynamite would need to beat the Coors Light Drunk Guys, SOFA KING GOOD would need to beat American BadAss and Frito Pie would need to beat the Midnight Maulers.  That would leave the Drunk Guys, Maulers, Frito Pie and Gotham all in a tie for runner-up in the South Division.  By virtue of division record, the Drunk Guys and Gotham would come out ahead with division records of 4-3.  The Drunk Guys defeated Gotham in both of their meetings this season, so they would take the runner-up position.  That would leave four teams tied for the final wild card spot: SOFA KING GOOD, Midnight Maulers, Frito Pie, and Gotham’s Reckoning.  In head-to-head matchups, none of these teams have swept the other three, so it would come down to points scored.  SOFA KING GOOD currently has an 82-point edge in points scored, so more than likely they would qualify, but with the way things have gone this season that is no sure thing.

Here are the individual team scenarios for the five remaining teams:

In Control of Own Destiny:

-Coors Light Drunk Guys – Win “What Do You Know?! Bowl” part 2.

-Midnight Maulers – Win final game against Frito Pie.

In Need of Some Assistance:

-SOFA KING GOOD – Win final game PLUS loss by Midnight Maulers.

-Frito Pie – Win final game against Midnight Maulers by a margin of 68 points AND losses by SOFA KING GOOD and Gotham’s Reckoning.

-Gotham’s Reckoning – Win final game PLUS losses by SOFA KING GOOD and Midnight Maulers AND outscore Midnight Maulers by 3 points.

 BEST BENCH

Across the board there were not many points left on the bench this week, and this week’s Best Bench had the lowest improvement total of the season.  But this is also the fourth time this season that this week's winner has taken the crown for Best Bench… and that team is the Coors Light Drunk Guys!!  Shawn could have had a 20-point improvement this week by making three roster moves:  M. Bush for C.J. Spiller (+8 pts), Cardinals for Packers (+8 pts) and A. Boldin for M. Wallace (+4 pts).

Next week we’ll know who is in and who is out!  Get your rosters set!!!

The King Has Returned...

That is one for the record books!  After posting only 25 points in their Week 11 game, the Midnight Maulers own the distinction of having the third lowest weekly point total of all-time.  The only lower totals are held by yours truly (when my Rebels only scored 23 in Week 15, 2007) and American BadAss who scored a paltry 21 points in Week 4, 2008.  Pretty much everything went wrong for Jamie in this game… Matt Ryan threw 5 (yes, 5) interceptions, and had no touchdowns, Jeremy Maclin never touched the ball, Reggie Bush and Frank Gore combined for only 98 yards of rushing, and not one of his offensive players found the endzone.  Add to that, the Chicago Bears defense, which has been absolutely dominating all season, only scored 5 points.  (The Bears were averaging 18 ppg coming in, and had not scored in single digits all season).  Just last week, the Midnight Maulers were the top scoring team, posting 118 points, so this week’s score represented a decline of 78.8%!  You would think that with that big of a drop-off Jamie had started a lot of different players because of injuries or bye weeks or something.  But in fact only one player was different from last week’s highest scoring roster, wide receiver James Jones playing in place of Sidney Rice.  This was literally the confluence of every player’s worst game occurring at the same time.  Don’t worry Jamie, it can’t get much worse…

The congratulations this week, however, belong to SOFA KING GOOD, who was way better than everyone else and posted the second highest score of the season, 130 points!  James got big time performance from RG3 (32 points), Dez Bryant (20 points), Calvin Johnson (18 points) and Marcel Reece (19 points).  Also, he had five players on his bench who were on their bye week, and the other two players on his bench scored zero points.  James actually had no points scored on his bench, so this was another Optimal Line-up Weekly High Score!  Way to go, CAP’N!!

Now with only two weeks left in the regular season, the playoff race is really heating up!  Below I have worked out playoff scenarios for teams that are still alive.  (Spoiler alert – If your team name rhymes with Rottish Scebels, you can skip this section).  Also, I check out an obscure Monday Night stat and give out a big-time Best Bench Award.

Let’s get to it!!

THESE ARE THE PLAYERS YOU WANT

Matt Schaub, QB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 40 pts – I mean, wow.  Schaub threw for 527 yards and 5 TD’s, but did have 2 interceptions.  That is the most passing yards in a single game this season.  (Eli Manning had 510 back in Week 2).

 Andre Johnson, WR – sprouts – 36 pts – Just over 50% of Schaub’s yards went to Andre Johnson, who finished with an awesome 273 yards and a touchdown.  Pretty good game for a guy who hadn’t scored more than 17 points since Week 1, and came in only averaging 6.4 ppg.

Chad Henne, QB – FA – 33 pts – Apparently Jacksonville players can score points!  Henne looked really good, going for 354 yards, 4 touchdowns and no interceptions.

Justin Blackmon, WR – FA – 32 pts – Blackmon accounted for 67% of Henne’s yardage, going for 236 yards and a touchdown. I’m going to go ahead and classify this as a breakout game, considering his best game this season prior to this one was 9 points in Week 9.

Robert Griffin III, QB – SOFA KING GOOD – 32 pts – RG3 got back on track this week against Philly throwing 4 touchdown passes on 200 yards passing and added 84 yards rushing.  He’s slipped from the top spot in Fantasy, but is only 10 points behind the overall leader Drew Brees (214 to 224).

Rob Gronkowski, TE – sprouts – 25 pts – Gronk continued to dominate (137 yards and 2 TD’s), but it came with a hefty price.  He broke his forearm, and will likely be out for the remainder of the fantasy season.

COME ON, MAN!

Michael Bush, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – Five rushes for 9 yards, and one catch for 18 yards.  That’s what you get from a back-up runningback.

Larry Fitzgerald, WR – Frito Pie – 1 pt – Larry should have had a touchdown catch, as his QB missed him when he was wide open.  But other than that, he really didn’t have many opportunities and finished with only 11 yards.

Dustin Keller, TE – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – Keller’s production is going in the wrong direction over the last four weeks:  15 pts, 6 pts, 4 pts, and now 1 pt.  By next week, my prediction is -3 pts.

Mike Wallace, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – Wallace would have finished with 2 points, but his 26 yards were wiped out by a fumble.  Yuck.

PLAYOFFS?! DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!

Only two weeks left of the regular season, and there are only two things that we know for sure:  American BadAss is in, and my Scottish Rebels are out.  All of the remaining eight teams are still alive to make the playoffs!  Amazingly too is that even though BoomGoesTheDynamite is in the lead in the South Division, there is a scenario where they do not make the playoffs.  That just shows how tight we currently stand.  Below are the scenarios for teams to qualify for the playoffs.  Bear in mind that with such tight standings there are very likely multiple scenarios for teams to qualify, and not all tie-breakers have been considered.  These scenarios just represent one or two possible paths to a postseason berth.

In Control of Own Destiny:

• sprouts – Win one game, OR two losses from Joe’s Pats.

• Joe’s Pats – Win one game PLUS two losses from sprouts, OR win two games.

• BoomGoesTheDynamite – Win next two games, OR win one game PLUS one loss from Coors Light Drunk Guys.

• Coors Light Drunk Guys – Win Week 12 game versus Midnight Maulers, OR win Week 13 game PLUS one loss from Midnight Maulers.

In Need of Some Help:

• Frito Pie – Win next two games PLUS one loss from Midnight Maulers and one loss from Coors Light Drunk Guys.

• SOFA KING GOOD – Win next two games PLUS two losses from Joe’s Pats AND one loss from Midnight Maulers and Frito Pie.

• Midnight Maulers – Win next two games PLUS two losses from Coors Light Drunk Guys, OR win next two games PLUS two losses from BoomGoesTheDynamite.

• Gotham’s Reckoning – The longest shot to make it in, but there is still a chance – Win next two games PLUS losses from SOFA KING GOOD, Coors Light Drunk Guys, Frito Pie and Joe’s Pats, and it will come down to tie-breakers.  (In this scenario, I believe that Timmy will grab the final wildcard spot on tiebreakers, but a lot of pieces have to fall into place.)

OBSCURE STATS

The Monday Night crew loves to throw out obscure stats that make you think “Who in the heck keeps track of that stuff?”  Things like, “This is the first time a runningback has scored three touchdowns on less than 10 carries with the kickoff temperature below 40 degrees, playing west of the Mississippi, in an NFC-AFC matchup game in the month of November.”  Stuart Scott had a great one after Monday’s thrashing of the Bears by the 49ers, speaking about Colin Kaepernick:  “This is the third highest margin of victory ever for a quarterback making his NFL starting debut on Monday Night Football.”  Third highest huh?  Nice.

YOU NEED A KICKER!

This week’s top kicker was Josh Scobee of the Jacksonville Jaguars, who finished with 15 points.  He did it by going 3-for-3 on field goal attempts (1 from 30+, and 2 from 40+) and making 4 extra points.  Scobee’s career long field goal is 59 yards, and he is tied for the NFL record of most 50+ field goals in a single game with 3.  Good for you, Josh!

FANTASY vs. REALITY

The Houston Texans had the highest single week point total this season.  In all, Texans players combined for 156 points, thanks to Matt Schaub (40 pts), Andre Johnson (36 pts), Garrett Graham (20 pts), Shayne Graham (14 pts), and everyone else pitching in some as well.  Also, the Jacksonville Jaguars roared to life this week, combining for 127 points mostly thanks to Chad Henne (33 pts) and Justin Blackmon (32 pts).  Here is how the top five scoring teams in reality rank in fantasy:

1)      New England Patriots – 358 pts (Fantasy rank – 1; 1042 pts)

2)      Denver Broncos – 301 pts (Fantasy rank – 2; 943 pts)

3)      Houston Texans – 293 pts (Fantasy rank – 3; 932 pts)

4)      Tampa Bay Buccaneers – 287 pts (Fantasy rank – 8; 848 pts)

5)      New Orleans Saints – 287 pts (Fantasy rank – 5; 898 pts)

Speaking of the Jaguars, and thanks to their scoring this weekend, they no longer rank at the bottom of the scoring lists.  They jumped three teams to move to 29th in reality scoring (164 pts), and climbed one spot to 31st in fantasy scoring (593 pts).  The new cellar dwelling team in both categories is the Kansas City Chiefs, with only 152 reality points and 562 fantasy points.

BEST BENCH

There were quite a few teams that left a good amount of points on the bench this week… BoomGoesTheDynamite could have improved by 30, Frito Pie by 32 and sprouts by 35.  But none could top this week’s winner of the Best Bench… Joe’s Pats!!  Joe only needed three roster moves to achieve a 46-point improvement!  Patriots D for Steelers D (+26), V. Davis for D. Keller (+13) and R. Cobb for M. Colston (+7).

No more bye weeks!  Get ready for Week 12 and the final playoff push!  And eat lots of turkey and have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

 TURKEY!!!

Midnight Maulers March!

There are always a lot of obstacles to overcome to achieve victory… you have to pick the right match ups, deal with player injuries, manage around player bye weeks, and hope that the website hosting your league isn’t down on Sunday morning when critical game-time decisions need to be made.   Shawn took an interesting approach this week on dealing with byes, by merely acting as if they don’t exist.  And it paid off!  In a rarely seen move, the Coors Light Drunk Guys started two players on their bye week (the Packers Defense and Mason Crosby) and still managed to pull out a victory!  You must be doing some clean living, Mr. Martin!

The big congratulations this week go to Jamie George and his Midnight Maulers, who smashed the competition, scoring 23 more points than the nearest team and being the only team to break into the triple digits this week with 118!  This was also one of those extra special high scores because it was done with an optimal lineup!  Well done Jamie!  Six different teams have now claimed a Weekly High Score Prize this season…

This week we’ll start talking about the playoffs, see which NFL team is in the lead in fantasy scoring, and I give a salute to one of the greatest American athletes of all time.  But first, some player observations…

THAT IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

-Denver, DEF – Scottish Rebels – 36 pts – Denver straight up Chicagoed the Panthers.  (That is the new term for a defense that humiliates an opponent by scoring over 30 points).  In all, Denver had 7 sacks, 2 interceptions (1 returned for a touchdown), plus a punt return touchdown and 169 return yards.  Oh yeah, and just for good measure they added a safety.  Boo, yah.

-Joe Flacco, QB – Midnight Maulers – 29 pts – Flacco put on a show against the Raiders, throwing for 341 yards, 3 TD’s, and 1 int, and also adding a 1-yard rushing touchdown.  Apparently he really loves playing at home this season where he has scored 114 total points (22.8 ppg), versus on the road where he has scored only 32 total points (8 ppg).

-Matt Ryan, QB – Midnight Maulers – 29 pts – Good to get in a shootout with the Saints!  Ryan finished with 411 yards and 3 touchdowns in the Falcons first loss.

-Adrian Peterson, RB – Scottish Rebels – 28 pts – Over the last four weeks, AP is averaging 25.5 points per game, and is the current NFL rushing leader with 1,128 yards.

-Dallas, DEF – Free Agent – 28 pts – This was just fun to watch, wasn’t it?!  Three defensive touchdowns?  You kidding me?!  Oh yeah!!  Love it!!  How ‘bout them Cowboys?!?!

-Calvin Johnson, WR – SOFA KING GOOD – 27 pts – Nerve damage…concussion…knee problems… it doesn’t matter.  Megatron looked like his old dominant self in this one.

-Jimmy Graham, TE – SOFA KING GOOD – 26 pts – Graham went for 146 yards and two TD’s against an undefeated Atlanta team.  Should be even easier next week going against the Raiders defense.  Look out!

COME ON, MAN!

-Rashad Jennings, RB – Scottish Rebels – 2 pts – I should know better than to start a Jaguar on my team.  What has my ‘Fantasy vs. Reality’ analysis been showing all year?  That freakin’ Jacksonville DOES NOT SCORE POINTS!  Do not forget this when setting your own roster…

-Eli Manning, QB – SOFA KING GOOD – 2 pts – Not sure what is going on with Eli and the Giants.  He has only scored 10 points over the last three weeks (with no touchdown passes).

-Victor Cruz, WR – SOFA KING GOOD – 2 pts – If Eli’s not throwing touchdowns, Cruz ain’t catching them.  So yeah, the Giants are having some problems.

-Eric Decker, WR – sprouts – 1 pt – Quite a drop-off after scoring 15, 16, and 21 points in the weeks leading up to this game.  But with Peyton looking good, I would think he’ll rebound nicely.

-Michael Bush, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – I guess scoring only one point shouldn’t be too much of a surprise considering the guy hasn’t scored more than 4 points since Week 3 when he somehow scored 12.

-Michael Turner, RB – American BadAss – 1 pt – This looked like a dream match up going in with New Orleans giving up the 3rd most points to runningbacks, and Turner coming off a 16 point performance from the week before.  But he never got going in this one, gaining a measly 15 yards on 13 carries, and even got stuffed from the one-yard line on his only opportunity to score.  Ouch.

-Reggie Bush, RB – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Reggie only got four carries and was benched for fumbling.  Not a good development.

PLAYOFFS?  DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!

There are three regular season games left before playoffs start.  Four teams in the South Division have 5 wins, and Gotham’s Reckoning is only one game behind that.  So, the South Division is wide open.  There are two inter-divisional matchups in the South this week (BoomGoesTheDynamite vs. Midnight Maulers and Gotham’s Reckoning vs. Coors Light Drunk Guys), so we should know a lot more next week.  But for now, I’m just going to say that all teams in the South Division control their own fate to make it in to the playoffs.

The North Division has the team with the league’s best record (American BadAss, 7-2-1) and the league’s worst record (Scottish Rebels, 2-8).  My Rebels have officially been mathematically eliminated from making the playoffs, and it looks like American BadAss should be in.  For sure if American BadAss gets one more victory in the next three games they will definitely be in.  The remaining three teams in the North (sprouts, Joe’s Pats and SOFA KING GOOD) are all still alive to make it in.  Joe’s Pats and sprouts control their own destiny, while SOFA KING GOOD will still need some help.  I’ll have full scenarios for each team next week.

Playoffs Note #1: Don’t forget, this season there is a $20 bonus to each team that qualifies for the playoffs.

Playoffs Note #2:  I just wanted to mention that in Week 6 the teams that I predicted to make the playoffs were: Joe’s Pats, American BadAss, sprouts, SOFA KING GOOD, Frito Pie and Gotham’s Reckoning.  So it looks like I’m on track to be 100% correct!

Playoffs Note #3: Round 2 of the “What Do You Know?! Bowl” (BoomGoesTheDynamite vs. Coors Light Drunk Guys) will occur in the final week of the regular season.  How sweet will that be if the winner of that game makes it in and the loser is out?  What do YOU know!?!?!?

GREAT AMERICAN HERO

Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his Tour de France titles because he allegedly used steroids or something.  Frankly, I don’t care.  I am so tired of athletes getting in trouble for using “performance enhancing drugs”, when the drugs they are using are just the most effective drugs.  Every sporting league has lists of “approved” drugs, and “non-approved” drugs, with the main difference being how well the drug works.  But let’s take a look at the reality of the Lance Armstrong situation.

Lance Armstrong was a guy who had cancer, and had it bad.  By all accounts, his prognosis was bleak.  But, miraculously, he beat it.  And he didn’t go on to just live a regular life.  He went and won the toughest bicycle race in the world.  Then he won it again.  Then he won it again.  Then to prove it wasn’t a fluke, he won it again.  Then again.  And again.  And to top it off, again.  Just think about that…he not only beat cancer, he emerged from cancer as one of the strongest, most remarkable human beings that the world has ever seen!

Now, let’s assume that he did go through some sort of doping regiment throughout his recovery.  If he did, humanity better hope that he took extensive notes on exactly what he did, because apparently he stumbled on the cure for cancer.  Instead of crucifying him for cheating, we should all be thanking him for his enormous gift to all of us.  Every cancer patient should be following whatever alleged regiment he was on, because that shit works.  Thank you, Lance Armstrong.  You are an outstanding human being, and I will forever salute you.

I have the same sentiment for athletes like Roger Clemens who ridiculously got called in front of Congress for using drugs.  Once again, here is a guy who at age, what, like 50 was able to pitch at the Major League level!  I don’t give two craps about what he was on, how about we give everyone some of that?! I mean, I can go out and play tennis for a couple hours and still be sore three days later.  And I’m just playing against old white dudes, not young Cubans in their prime.  The fact that Clemens was able to do that is beyond remarkable.  It’s time to stop persecuting these athletes, and start revering them as pioneers in the science of curing diseases and enhancing human peak performance.

FANTASY vs. REALITY

The top team remains unchanged in Fantasy and Reality, the New England Patriots.  They have scored 299 points in reality and 906 in fantasy.  The Denver Broncos have taken over the 2nd spot in reality scoring (271 points), and have moved up to 3rd in fantasy scoring with 848.  The NY Giants are 3rd in reality (267 pts) and 2nd in fantasy (855 pts).  In fourth place, surprisingly, is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers with 260 reality points, but they currently rank 9th in fantasy points with 765.  In fifth place for reality is Baltimore (254 points, up from 12th place last week), and they currently rank 7th in fantasy scoring with 784.

The bottom five teams in fantasy scoring are:

28th – Carolina Panthers – 579 pts (Reality= 27th)

29th – New York Jets – 568 pts (Reality= 24th)

30th – St. Louis Rams – 560 pts (Reality= 28th)

31st – Kansas City Chiefs – 527 pts (Reality=30th)

32nd – Jacksonville Jaguars – 466 pts (Reality= 32nd)

TIES ARE FOR SOCCER AND CHURCH

It is comical to have football players argue with refs or rant after games about bad calls when they don’t even know the most basic rules of the sport that they are playing.  Donovan McNabb made an idiot of himself in 2008 when he famously stated that he didn’t know that games could end in a tie.  You would think that after that, and after all the finagling that has been done with overtime rules recently, that all players would know this by now.  But you would be wrong.  At the conclusion of overtime on Sunday, with San Francisco and St. Louis still tied, Niners’ safety Dashon Goldson said, “I didn’t know you could tie.  When I saw both sides walking onto the field, I was like “Where’s everybody going?”  Same for Danny Amendola (STL, WR), who was actually a member of the Eagles in 2008 when they tied, he told Peter King after the game that he thought there was going to be a second overtime.  Hilarious.

Speaking of ties, here are the tiebreaker rules that will be used in determining which teams qualify for the playoffs:

Division Champions and Runner-ups: (One Division Champ, and one Runner-up from each division)

1) Overall record

2) Division record

3) Head-to-Head record

4) Points scored

5) Coin flip     

Wild Cards: (Two wild card teams, regardless of division)

1) Overall record

2) Head-to-Head record

3) Points scored

4) Coin flip

Once we are in the playoffs, here are the tiebreakers that will be used in the event of any tie game:

-In any round prior to the championship game, ties go to the higher seeded team.

-In the championship game, if there is a tie, it will be broken in the following manner:

                -Team with the highest scoring quarterback wins,

                -Team with the highest scoring runningback wins,

                -Team with the highest scoring wide receiver wins,

                -If still tied at that point, co-champions will be declared

BEST BENCH

When you can’t win high scores, or regular games for that matter, it is nice to still win something!  So for the second week in a row, the Best Bench goes to…. my Scottish Rebels!  With a roster overhaul of over half my players, I could have improved my point total by 41 this week.  Broncos for Ravens (+14), A. Gates for O. Daniels (+11), C. Palmer for C. Newton (+8), L. Moore for B. Lloyd (+5) and B. Green-Ellis for R. Jennings (+3).

The playoff push is on!  Thursday night games continue, but this is the last week of byes…

Here comes BOOM!

There are big games, and there are monumental games.  Big games are like when Ronnie Brown put up 43 points in Week 3 of 2008.  Or when Chris Johnson put up 48 in Week 2 of 2009.  The biggest of the big games was when Adrian Peterson posted 49 points in Week 9 of 2007.  Michael Vick matched that number in Week 10 of 2010.  But records, as they say, are meant to be broken.  What Doug Martin did on Sunday can only be described as a monumental game, going for 251 rushing yards, 21 receiving yards and 4 touchdowns, coming to a grand total of 54 points!  This is one for the ages…Truly outstanding!

But the big boom this week goes out to BoomGoesTheDynamite, who dropped a bomb and exploded for 118 points!  Jens had a big game from Brandon Marshall (30 points), and 15 points from his kicker, giving him two more points than Frito Pie.  With the win, that gives Boom a 4-4-1 record, which moves him to 1st place in the South Division, and in the driver’s seat to qualify for the playoffs.  Well done Jensy!

And I would be remiss if I did not congratulate sprouts for taking the high score in Week 8, with a massive 138 points!  That is the most points scored in a single week all season, and the highest total since the Coors Light Drunk Guys posted 139 back in Week 14 last season.  Russ’ victory also marked three weeks in a row of taking the Weekly High Score prize.  That is some good fantasy footballin’!! 

The league standings are crazy right now… four teams in the South Division have records of 4-5, and those teams are only a half-game behind the division leader.  So to say that the South Division is wide open would be an understatement.  It is literally anyone’s game at this point.  The North Division is quite a different story with American BadAss leading the way with a super strong record of 7-1-1, and both sprouts and Joe’s Pats with 6-3 records.  Hard to believe that there are only 4 games left until we start the playoffs.

So this week, we’ll get caught up on some outstanding items from last week and hand out two Best Bench awards.

BIG TIME

• Doug Martin, RB – Frito Pie – 54 pts – Out of 494 players that have scored a point so far this season, there are only 160 that have scored over 54 points.  Doug Martin did that in one game.  Unbelievable.

• Adrian Peterson, RB – Scottish Rebels – 34 pts – You don’t expect a player scoring 34 points to be outscored by 20 on a normal basis.  But AP still had a tremendous game, going for 182 yards and 2 touchdowns on the ground, plus 11 receiving yards.

• Carson Palmer, QB – Scottish Rebels – 31 pts – 414 yards and four touchdowns is a pretty freakin’ good day.  But he also tossed 3 picks, so there’s that.

• Chicago, DEF – Midnight Maulers – 30 pts – I have never seen a defense have a season like this… this is the third time this year that the Bears’ D has scored over 30 points, and they are now averaging 23 points per game.  Also, they are the second highest scoring player in all of fantasy, only trailing Aaron Rodgers by 9 points.  But Rodgers has not had a bye week, and the Bears have, so they are technically outscoring everyone this year.

• New Orleans, DEF – Free Agent – 30 pts – Who dat?  Anyone need a defense that can score 30 points?  Here’s one.

• Brandon Marshall, WR – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 30 pts – Marshall caught 9 passes for 122 yards and 3 touchdowns.  Yeah, that’ll play.

 

• Andrew Luck, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 28 pts – Luck is looking like he just might be able to play football at the pro level.  He is averaging 20.3 points per game over the last three weeks, and is the 7th ranked QB overall.  Shawn, you might have yourself a quarterback controversy brewing…  Brees and Luck have both scored 61 points over the last three weeks.

COME ON MAN!

• Jeremy Maclin, WR – Midnight Maulers – 2 pts – Only 2 catches for 28 yards this week, giving him only 356 yards and 3 touchdowns for the season.  Surely not what Jamie was hoping for out of his 4th round pick.

• Jared Cook, TE – American BadAss - -2 pts – Cook had 2 catches for a grand total of 6 yards, plus a lost fumble.  It really doesn’t get much worse.

FANTASY vs. REALITY

The top three teams in reality scoring are also the top three teams in fantasy scoring.  New England is tops in reality (with 262 points), and ranks second in Fantasy with 807 points.  The New York Giants are second in reality (254 points) and first in Fantasy (814 points).  Green Bay ranks third in both categories with 239 points in reality and 789 points in Fantasyland.  (Side note – my spell check does not recognize “Fantasyland” as a misspelled word).  But the crazy thing is that New England has had a bye week (Week 9), yet the Giants and Green Bay have not.  So that just goes to show how much scoring the Patriots are doing this year!  (I guess you have to score a lot with a secondary like they have…)

Rounding out the top five are the Houston Texans who are 4th in reality with 237 pts and 6th in Fantasy with 730 points, and the Chicago Bears ranking 5th in reality with 713 points and 8th in Fantasy with 713 points.  (Side note about Chicago – The Bears Defense is not only dominating the league, but they are dominating the other Bears players… the Defense has 184 points on the season with the next closest Bear (Brandon Marshall) only having 118.)

Final note in the Fantasy versus reality – The Jacksonville Jaguars continue to live in the basement in both categories with only 117 reality points and 413 fantasy points.

TRADE DEADLINE AND PLAYOFFS

The trade deadline is Friday, November 16th.  If you want to make a trade after that date, both teams will have to drop the players and hope that no one else picks them up off of waivers.  And there are only four more games until the playoffs start!  Next week we’ll start looking at qualification scenarios.

NFL GAMES ABROAD

Last week (Week 8), the New England Patriots took on the St. Louis Rams at Wembley Stadium in England.  I just found it amusing to have a team named the “New England Patriots” playing in England.  “New” England, which is better than “Old” England, and the “Patriots”, named in honor of Americans who kicked the crap out of the British back in the day.  Simply awesome.

MARK TWAIN QUOTE OF THE WEEK

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

ELECTION RESULTS

Tuesday’s election results were a nightmarish train wreck of epic proportions, but it wasn’t all bad.  Here are a couple of positive things that will come out of this:

1)      We’ll finally get to learn what number comes after a trillion.

2)      We’ll get to find out what President Obama meant when he told that Russian diplomat that he needed more “flexibility”.

3)      We’ll all learn how to speak Chinese.

You always have to look at the bright side of things…

BEST BENCHES

Week 8 did not see much in the way of points being left on the bench… the winner of the Best Bench only improved by 25 points, which is the lowest Best Bench improvement for this season.  That team was…. Frito Pie!  Rachel only needed two roster changes to accomplish this: Titus Young for Wes Welker (+18) and Dan Bailey for Greg Zuerlein (+7).

For the Best Bench Award this week, the traveling trophy did not have to go far as my Scottish Rebels took home the crown!  I could have improved my point total by 30 points with four roster moves:  Denver for Baltimore (+12), Carson Palmer for Cam Newton (+10), Lance Moore for Percy Harvin (+4), and Ben-Jarvus Green-Ellis for Alfred Morris (+4).

Can it really be Week 10 already?... sheesh...

Week 7 - Midterms!

Congratulations to sprouts!  For the second week in a row, sprouts has been the only team capable of posting triple digits, this week logging 119 points! (That is the third highest single week total of the season.)  Russ did it with big games from Jordy Nelson, Rob Gronkowski and Josh Freeman, who was just picked up off of waivers this week.  Not bad to pick a guy up off the street and have him score 31 points for you.  Well done Russ!!

The league standings have really changed shape over the last couple weeks, with Joe’s Pats suffering two losses and American BadAss now in the lead in the North.  American BadAss has been looking good each week (averaging 88.1 points per game), but has also benefitted from being the team with the least points scored against them.  Only 462 points have been scored against BadAss, with the next closest team having 552 points against.  The league average for points against is 550.6, so Jason is really doing something to bring out the worst in his opponents.  In the South Division there is only one team with a winning record (Coors Light Drunk Guys at 4-3), so that still looks wide open for division champ.

And of course, I must mention the fact that my Rebels finally are out of the doldrums and logged a victory this week.  Booyah!! There will be no record-setting 0-7 worst-start-ever this season!  Not on my watch!

We are now seven weeks in, so that means one thing… it is time for midterm grades!  I’ve added some new categories for grading teams this year (keeper production, Weekly High Scores), and am following a bell curve this time.  Much more on that below, should be fun… but first, some observations from the week:

BIG TIME

-Chris Johnson, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 34 pts – Chris Johnson’s story for the last 3 seasons has been to underwhelm for weeks and weeks, then turn it on when it no longer matters.  Maybe this time he’s turning it on a bit sooner than normal.  He sure looked good going for 195 yards and 2 touchdowns.

-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 32 pts – Brees breezed through the Bucs defense, scorching them for 377 yards and 4 touchdowns.

-Josh Freeman, QB – sprouts – 31 pts – Freeman had to try to keep pace with Brees!  He actually bested Brees’ yardage total by 43, and threw three TD’s of his own.  

-Vincent Jackson, WR – American BadAss – 30 pts – Over half of Freeman’s 420 yards went to Jackson… he finished with 216 yards and 1 touchdown.  And he should’ve had another touchdown, but was caught from behind at the 5-yard line on a long bomb.

YOU KIDDING ME?!

-Anquan Boldin, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – Boldin only caught 3 of the eight passes thrown his way, and only gained 24 yards.  He’s only caught one TD pass this year.

-Larry Fitzgerald, WR – Frito Pie – 2 pts – Larry decided to copy his ex-teammate (Boldin) and only scored two points on Sunday (on 29 yards receiving).

-Trent Richardson, RB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 1 pt – Richardson only managed 8 yards on the ground and 11 yards in the air against the Colts.  That’s not too good.

-Jason Hanson, K – Scottish Rebels – 1 pt – His one extra point was not up to his normal excellence, but I’m sure he’ll bounce back.

-Jermaine Gresham, TE – Frito Pie – 1 pt – Gresham was a non-factor for Cincinnati only gaining 19 yards.

-Dez Bryant, WR – American BadAss – 1 pt – First the good news: Dez caught 66% of the passes thrown his way.  And the bad news: it was only thrown his way 3 times.

-Phil Dawson, K – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – You can’t expect Browns players to put up many points, so I guess this was not totally out of the blue.

-LeGarrette Blount, RB – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – LeGarrette had no one but himself to punch in the face after this horrific performance… he rushed for negative (-)2 yards on the day.

-Vernon Davis, TE – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Joe’s Pats had a kicker score only 1 point, and had his runningback and tight end shut out.  When it rains, it pours…

-Kyle Rudolph, TE – Gotham’s Reckoning – 0 pts – You gotta catch the ball to score points.  Rudolph was 0-4 in that regard.

MARK TWAIN QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

YOU NEED A KICKER!

The Best Boot for Week 7 belongs to Nick Folk of the New York Jets.  He scored 18 points this week by kicking four field goals (1 from 50+, and 2 from 40+) and two extra points.

Just in time for Thanksgiving: Folk is a direct descendant from the Mayflower, as William Bradford was his mother’s “umpteenth-great grandfather”.

He is waaay better than:  Cam Newton (15 pts), Eli Manning (13 pts), CJ Spiller (10 pts), and Andre Johnson (8 pts).

DO YOU THINK THEY MIGHT BE RELATED?

After 7 weeks of games, Peyton Manning and Eli Manning have both scored 118 points.  That can’t just be a coincidence.

MID-TERM GRADES

So here we go… time to be judged.  I looked at a lot of factors when determining mid-term grades, with more emphasis applied to points scored, keeper production and of course, overall record.  Also, just to make it more fun this year, I followed a strict bell curve on grade assignment.  That means only 1 A, 2 B’s, 4 C’s, 2 D’s and 1 F.   If you don’t like your grade remember that there is still time to improve, and frankly all that matters is who hoists the trophy at the end of the season.

American BadAss - Jason

Current Record: 5-1-1

Points Scored: 617

2012 Weekly High Scores: 0

Last Weekly High Score: Week 1, 2011

Keeper production: 166 pts – Aaron Rodgers (1^st; 155 pts), Laurent Robinson (15^th; 11 pts).

Should have kept:  San Francisco DEF (15^th; 91 pts) instead of Robinson.

Best Move:  Keeping Aaron Rodgers.

Need to re-think: Keeping Laurent Robinson.

Grade:  B

BoomGoesTheDynamite – Jens

Current Record:  2-4-1

Points Scored: 579

2012 Weekly High Scores: 1

Last Weekly High Score: Week 1, 2012

Keeper production: 125 pts – Ray Rice (1^st; 100 pts), Aaron Hernandez (15^th; 25 pts).

Should have kept:  Joe Flacco (11^th; 105 pts) instead of Hernandez.

Highlight:  Dominating in Week 1.

Live in the now!: Jens’ team slogan is still referencing the glory days from Week 1.  It’s Week 8 now… time to move forward.

Grade:  D

Coors Light Drunk Guys – Shawn

Current Record:  4-3

Points Scored: 590

2012 Weekly High Scores: 1

Last Weekly High Score: Week 2, 2012

Keeper production: 213 pts – Drew Brees (1^st; 154 pts), Maurice Jones-Drew (3^rd; 59 pts).

Should have kept:  Marshawn Lynch (15^th; 80 pts) instead of MJD.

Best Move:  Winning the “What Do You Know Bowl” in Week 7.

Need to re-think:  Drafting two wide receivers from Pittsburgh as starters.

Grade:  C

Frito Pie – Rachel

Current Record:  3-4

Points Scored: 539

2012 Weekly High Scores: 0

Last Weekly High Score: Week 14, 2010

Keeper production: 84 pts – Wes Welker (4^th; 76 pts), Beanie Wells (9^th; 8 pts)

Should have kept:  Alex Smith (15^th; 88 pts) instead of Wells.

Best Move:  Drafting A.J. Green in the third round.

Dime-a-dozen: Carrying a back-up kicker is a wasted roster spot.

Grade:  D

Gotham’s Reckoning – Timmy

Current Record:  3-4

Points Scored: 648

2012 Weekly High Scores: 1

Last Weekly High Score: Week 3, 2012

Keeper production: 228 pts – Matt Stafford (10^th; 98 pts), Arian Foster (1^st; 130 pts).

Should have kept: Slight improvement by keeping A.J. Green (11^th; 106 pts) instead of Stafford, but that’s really splitting hairs.

Churning the roster:  Thirteen waiver claims leads the league. 

Note:  Timmy  takes the prize for having the most productive keepers thus far!

Grade:  C

Joe’s Pats – Joe

Current Record:  5-2

Points Scored: 631

2012 Weekly High Scores: 2

Last Weekly High Score: Week 5, 2012

Keeper production: 203 pts – Tom Brady (1^st; 137 pts), LeSean McCoy (1^st; 66 pts).

Should have kept:  Tony Gonzales (9^th; 66 pts) instead of McCoy.  Only a marginal improvement here on draft choices surrendered for equally productive player.

Best Move:  Keeping a death grip on Tom Brady.

Bad luck: Three players combining for 1 point in Week 7.  Ouch.

Grade:  A

Midnight Maulers – Jamie

Current Record:  3-4

Points Scored: 651

2012 Weekly High Scores: 0

Last Weekly High Score: Week 8, 2011

Keeper production: 100 pts – Greg Jennings (1^st; 12 pts), Frank Gore (1^st; 88 pts).

Should have kept:  Carson Palmer (15^th; 97 pts) instead of Jennings.

Best Move:  Drafting Chicago’s defense. 

How’s the weather up there?: The Maulers are the top scoring team in the league!

Grade:  C

Scottish Rebels – Jerry

Current Record:  1-6

Points Scored: 590

2012 Weekly High Scores: 0

Last Weekly High Score: Week 9, 2011

Keeper production: 193 pts – Cam Newton (11^th; 98 pts), Adrian Peterson (1^st; 95 pts).

Should have kept:  Kept players are the most productive from last year’s roster.

Best Move:  Picking up Alfred Morris off the waiver wire.

Need to re-think: Not starting Roddy White in Week 4 when he scored 31 points.

Grade:  F

SOFA KING GOOD – James

Current Record:  3-4

Points Scored: 640

2012 Weekly High Scores: 0

Last Weekly High Score: Week 12, 2011

Keeper production: 150 pts – Victor Cruz (15^th; 104 pts), DeMarco Murray (14^th, 46 pts).

Should have kept:  C.J. Spiller (11^th; 93 pts) instead of Murray.

Best Move:  RG3 .

Note:  James has the unlucky distinction of having had the most points scored against him.

Grade:  C

sprouts – Russ

Current Record:  5-2

Points Scored: 621

2012 Weekly High Scores: 2

Last Weekly High Score: This week!

Keeper production: 138 pts – Willis McGahee (15^th; 69 pts), Rob Gronkowski (13^th, 69 pts).

Should have kept:  Kept players are the most productive from last year’s roster.

Best Move:  Having the confidence to draft Peyton Manning.

Grade:  B

SHAWN-- TRADE BOLDIN TO JAMIE

I just realized that Jamie has almost re-created his 2011 roster in 2012.  The only difference from his ending roster in 2011 was that he had Anquan Boldin as his 2^nd receiver, and this season he has Josh Gordon.  Considering that the Maulers finished last year at 3-10, I’m not sure that it was the best strategy, but it seems to be working so far this season.

FANTASY VS. REALITY

The top five scoring teams in fantasy are:

1)      New England Patriots – 691 pts (Reality #1 – 217 pts)

2)      New York Giants – 681 pts (Reality #3 – 205 pts)

3)      Houston Texans – 642 pts (Reality #2 – 216 pts)

4)      Green Bay Packers – 641 pts (Reality #5 – 184 pts)

5)      Baltimore Ravens – 585 pts (Reality #7 – 174 pts)

The team rankings for reality scoring has been correlating pretty closely to the fantasy points scored by team.  The largest discrepancy is the Detroit Lions who are currently 15^th in Fantasy scoring (501 pts), but rank 21^st in reality scoring (133 pts).  Jacksonville continues to be the worst in both categories, with only 307 fantasy points scored, and 88 reality points scored.

BEST BENCH

While Joe’s Pats and sprouts have both won two Weekly High Score Prizes this season, one team has done even better than that when it comes to the Best Bench.  Taking home their third Best Bench Award this season is… the Coors Light Drunk Guys!!  Shawn previously won the Best Bench in Weeks 1 and 3. This time Shawn could have improved his point total by 44 with three roster changes – C. Johnson for M. Jones-Drew (+34), A. Brown for A. Boldin (+8) and the Cardinals for the Packers (+2). 

Thursday night games and bye weeks continue.  Make sure you have your rosters set!!