The King Has Returned...

That is one for the record books!  After posting only 25 points in their Week 11 game, the Midnight Maulers own the distinction of having the third lowest weekly point total of all-time.  The only lower totals are held by yours truly (when my Rebels only scored 23 in Week 15, 2007) and American BadAss who scored a paltry 21 points in Week 4, 2008.  Pretty much everything went wrong for Jamie in this game… Matt Ryan threw 5 (yes, 5) interceptions, and had no touchdowns, Jeremy Maclin never touched the ball, Reggie Bush and Frank Gore combined for only 98 yards of rushing, and not one of his offensive players found the endzone.  Add to that, the Chicago Bears defense, which has been absolutely dominating all season, only scored 5 points.  (The Bears were averaging 18 ppg coming in, and had not scored in single digits all season).  Just last week, the Midnight Maulers were the top scoring team, posting 118 points, so this week’s score represented a decline of 78.8%!  You would think that with that big of a drop-off Jamie had started a lot of different players because of injuries or bye weeks or something.  But in fact only one player was different from last week’s highest scoring roster, wide receiver James Jones playing in place of Sidney Rice.  This was literally the confluence of every player’s worst game occurring at the same time.  Don’t worry Jamie, it can’t get much worse…

The congratulations this week, however, belong to SOFA KING GOOD, who was way better than everyone else and posted the second highest score of the season, 130 points!  James got big time performance from RG3 (32 points), Dez Bryant (20 points), Calvin Johnson (18 points) and Marcel Reece (19 points).  Also, he had five players on his bench who were on their bye week, and the other two players on his bench scored zero points.  James actually had no points scored on his bench, so this was another Optimal Line-up Weekly High Score!  Way to go, CAP’N!!

Now with only two weeks left in the regular season, the playoff race is really heating up!  Below I have worked out playoff scenarios for teams that are still alive.  (Spoiler alert – If your team name rhymes with Rottish Scebels, you can skip this section).  Also, I check out an obscure Monday Night stat and give out a big-time Best Bench Award.

Let’s get to it!!

THESE ARE THE PLAYERS YOU WANT

Matt Schaub, QB – BoomGoesTheDynamite – 40 pts – I mean, wow.  Schaub threw for 527 yards and 5 TD’s, but did have 2 interceptions.  That is the most passing yards in a single game this season.  (Eli Manning had 510 back in Week 2).

 Andre Johnson, WR – sprouts – 36 pts – Just over 50% of Schaub’s yards went to Andre Johnson, who finished with an awesome 273 yards and a touchdown.  Pretty good game for a guy who hadn’t scored more than 17 points since Week 1, and came in only averaging 6.4 ppg.

Chad Henne, QB – FA – 33 pts – Apparently Jacksonville players can score points!  Henne looked really good, going for 354 yards, 4 touchdowns and no interceptions.

Justin Blackmon, WR – FA – 32 pts – Blackmon accounted for 67% of Henne’s yardage, going for 236 yards and a touchdown. I’m going to go ahead and classify this as a breakout game, considering his best game this season prior to this one was 9 points in Week 9.

Robert Griffin III, QB – SOFA KING GOOD – 32 pts – RG3 got back on track this week against Philly throwing 4 touchdown passes on 200 yards passing and added 84 yards rushing.  He’s slipped from the top spot in Fantasy, but is only 10 points behind the overall leader Drew Brees (214 to 224).

Rob Gronkowski, TE – sprouts – 25 pts – Gronk continued to dominate (137 yards and 2 TD’s), but it came with a hefty price.  He broke his forearm, and will likely be out for the remainder of the fantasy season.

COME ON, MAN!

Michael Bush, RB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – Five rushes for 9 yards, and one catch for 18 yards.  That’s what you get from a back-up runningback.

Larry Fitzgerald, WR – Frito Pie – 1 pt – Larry should have had a touchdown catch, as his QB missed him when he was wide open.  But other than that, he really didn’t have many opportunities and finished with only 11 yards.

Dustin Keller, TE – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – Keller’s production is going in the wrong direction over the last four weeks:  15 pts, 6 pts, 4 pts, and now 1 pt.  By next week, my prediction is -3 pts.

Mike Wallace, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – Wallace would have finished with 2 points, but his 26 yards were wiped out by a fumble.  Yuck.

PLAYOFFS?! DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!

Only two weeks left of the regular season, and there are only two things that we know for sure:  American BadAss is in, and my Scottish Rebels are out.  All of the remaining eight teams are still alive to make the playoffs!  Amazingly too is that even though BoomGoesTheDynamite is in the lead in the South Division, there is a scenario where they do not make the playoffs.  That just shows how tight we currently stand.  Below are the scenarios for teams to qualify for the playoffs.  Bear in mind that with such tight standings there are very likely multiple scenarios for teams to qualify, and not all tie-breakers have been considered.  These scenarios just represent one or two possible paths to a postseason berth.

In Control of Own Destiny:

• sprouts – Win one game, OR two losses from Joe’s Pats.

• Joe’s Pats – Win one game PLUS two losses from sprouts, OR win two games.

• BoomGoesTheDynamite – Win next two games, OR win one game PLUS one loss from Coors Light Drunk Guys.

• Coors Light Drunk Guys – Win Week 12 game versus Midnight Maulers, OR win Week 13 game PLUS one loss from Midnight Maulers.

In Need of Some Help:

• Frito Pie – Win next two games PLUS one loss from Midnight Maulers and one loss from Coors Light Drunk Guys.

• SOFA KING GOOD – Win next two games PLUS two losses from Joe’s Pats AND one loss from Midnight Maulers and Frito Pie.

• Midnight Maulers – Win next two games PLUS two losses from Coors Light Drunk Guys, OR win next two games PLUS two losses from BoomGoesTheDynamite.

• Gotham’s Reckoning – The longest shot to make it in, but there is still a chance – Win next two games PLUS losses from SOFA KING GOOD, Coors Light Drunk Guys, Frito Pie and Joe’s Pats, and it will come down to tie-breakers.  (In this scenario, I believe that Timmy will grab the final wildcard spot on tiebreakers, but a lot of pieces have to fall into place.)

OBSCURE STATS

The Monday Night crew loves to throw out obscure stats that make you think “Who in the heck keeps track of that stuff?”  Things like, “This is the first time a runningback has scored three touchdowns on less than 10 carries with the kickoff temperature below 40 degrees, playing west of the Mississippi, in an NFC-AFC matchup game in the month of November.”  Stuart Scott had a great one after Monday’s thrashing of the Bears by the 49ers, speaking about Colin Kaepernick:  “This is the third highest margin of victory ever for a quarterback making his NFL starting debut on Monday Night Football.”  Third highest huh?  Nice.

YOU NEED A KICKER!

This week’s top kicker was Josh Scobee of the Jacksonville Jaguars, who finished with 15 points.  He did it by going 3-for-3 on field goal attempts (1 from 30+, and 2 from 40+) and making 4 extra points.  Scobee’s career long field goal is 59 yards, and he is tied for the NFL record of most 50+ field goals in a single game with 3.  Good for you, Josh!

FANTASY vs. REALITY

The Houston Texans had the highest single week point total this season.  In all, Texans players combined for 156 points, thanks to Matt Schaub (40 pts), Andre Johnson (36 pts), Garrett Graham (20 pts), Shayne Graham (14 pts), and everyone else pitching in some as well.  Also, the Jacksonville Jaguars roared to life this week, combining for 127 points mostly thanks to Chad Henne (33 pts) and Justin Blackmon (32 pts).  Here is how the top five scoring teams in reality rank in fantasy:

1)      New England Patriots – 358 pts (Fantasy rank – 1; 1042 pts)

2)      Denver Broncos – 301 pts (Fantasy rank – 2; 943 pts)

3)      Houston Texans – 293 pts (Fantasy rank – 3; 932 pts)

4)      Tampa Bay Buccaneers – 287 pts (Fantasy rank – 8; 848 pts)

5)      New Orleans Saints – 287 pts (Fantasy rank – 5; 898 pts)

Speaking of the Jaguars, and thanks to their scoring this weekend, they no longer rank at the bottom of the scoring lists.  They jumped three teams to move to 29th in reality scoring (164 pts), and climbed one spot to 31st in fantasy scoring (593 pts).  The new cellar dwelling team in both categories is the Kansas City Chiefs, with only 152 reality points and 562 fantasy points.

BEST BENCH

There were quite a few teams that left a good amount of points on the bench this week… BoomGoesTheDynamite could have improved by 30, Frito Pie by 32 and sprouts by 35.  But none could top this week’s winner of the Best Bench… Joe’s Pats!!  Joe only needed three roster moves to achieve a 46-point improvement!  Patriots D for Steelers D (+26), V. Davis for D. Keller (+13) and R. Cobb for M. Colston (+7).

No more bye weeks!  Get ready for Week 12 and the final playoff push!  And eat lots of turkey and have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

 TURKEY!!!