MID-TERMS!!

Eight weeks in and we have five teams tied for the best record!  Yes, five!  Looking back and the only season which comes close to this was 2022 when there were four teams tied at the top with a 5-3 record.  So we are in some uncharted parity territory!  Also, eight weeks in and we’ve had 7 different teams snag a high score (or at least half of one).  That ties the 2021 and 2016 seasons for the most teams to be on top thus far.  Six more weeks of regular season games to go, so everything is still way up in the air.

The big congrats this week go out to Joe’s Pats who ran away with the high score, racking up 134 which is the highest single week score we’ve had this season!  Joe had huge games from his runningbacks, with Jonathan Taylor scoring 38 and Breece Hall tallying 30, plus his QB, Drake Maye, rang up 26.  That’s 94 points from just three players, which would have beaten six other teams right there.  This is Joe’s first Weekly High Score since Week 3 of last season.  Great work sir!

Alright, we’ve got a lot to get to this week, with two Best Benches and of course MID TERMS!  Let’s do this!

BIG TIME

• Jonathan Taylor, RB – Joe’s Pats – 38 pts – Absolutely massive season for Taylor, as he has now scored 14 touchdowns on the year.  Week 8 was the third time this season where he had 3 TD’s in a single game!  He added 153 yards rushing and 21 yards receiving as well.  He leads all fantasy scorers with 192 points, four points ahead of Patrick “Points Machine” Mahomes.  (In terms of overall points, Taylor is the only non-QB in the top 10.  Impressive!)
• James Cook III, RB – J LUV U LONG TIME – 36 pts – Cook gained 216 yards on just 19 carries (11.4 yard average), plus added 2 TD’s.   
• Saquon Barkley, RB – Big Sack No TD’s – 32 pts – Look at all these runningbacks putting up these big numbers!  What is this 2015?  After a couple low scoring weeks (5 pts and 4 pts), ‘Quon ran all over his former team, racking up 150 yards rushing and 24 yards receiving, plus added both a rushing and receiving TD.
• Jordan Love, QB – sprouts – 31 pts – Love had his best game of the season so far in a dominating win over the Steelers.  He finished with 360 yards and 3 TD’s, while completing 78.3% of his passes.  He did end up have -1 yards rushing, but that was only due to kneel down at the end of the game.  
• Breece Hall, RB – Joe’s Pats – 30 pts – Another 30-point-scoring runningback! How about that?! Hall had two rushing TD’s, plus threw a pass for a score!  

COME ON MAN

• Eddy Pineiro, K – American BadAss – 1 pt – Pineiro came in to this week averaging 15.3 points per game over the last three games.  But the Texans held the 49ers to just 15 points, and all Eddy got was one extra point.
• Quentin Johnston, WR – Scottish Rebels – 0 pts – QJ exceeded 70 receiving yards in each of the first four weeks this season while scoring 4 TD’s, but in his last 3 games he has just 70 yards total. TO-TAL.  He wasn’t even targeted this week, finishing with a big ol’ nothing burger.
• Jordan Mason, RB – J LUV U LONG TIME – 0 pts – The Vikings had Aaron Jones return from injury which basically relegated Mason back to a limited role.  He had just 4 carries for all of 3 yards.  Yuck.
• Jake Ferguson, TE – Worst to 1st – 0 pts – As part of the Cowboys goal to make every team they play look like Superbowl contenders, Ferguson played his part perfectly.  He was targeted only once, and it fell incomplete.

MID-TERM GRADES

We’ve reached the midpoint of the season, so it is time to hand out midterms!  Midterms grades have been given out since 2017, and the same grading criterion has been used since 2019.  Teams are graded across eight different categories, with points awarded for how each ranks in each category.  A top ranking in a category earns 10 points, and a bottom ranking earns 1 point. (Three categories are scored at half this rate… more details below).  Ties in ranking earn a split amount of points across the tied teams.

The categories each team is ranked on are:

• Overall Record: This season there are five teams tied for the best record at 5-3, with each of those teams earning 8 points.
• Points For:  sprouts has scored the most points this season with 838, while J LUV U LONG TIME has only scored 660.
• Points Against:  (Max points = 5).  J LUV U LONG TIME has had the most points scored against them this year, with 769, while sprouts has had the least with only 620.
• High Scores: sprouts is the only team with multiple Weekly High Scores this season (3), four teams have snagged one, and Wyld Ass Monkeys and NASCAR Café Honey Mustard split one.
• Best Bench: (Max points = 5).  Fewer Best Benches earns more points, and this season there are five teams who have yet to snag a Best Bench.  J LUV U LONG TIME leads with the most so far, 3.
• Waivers:  (Max points = 5).  Unlucky Irish and NASCAR Café Honey Mustard are tied for the most waiver claims with 17, while J LUV U LONG TIME has the fewest with only 4.  
• Keepers:  The one change this season is this category is based on ‘Keeper Value’, not just the points scored.  ‘Keeper Value’ factors in the round used for the keeper, thus a later round keeper is more valuable than an earlier round keeper if both have scored the same amount of points so far.  Joe’s Pats is dominating with a keeper value of 375, well ahead of NASCAR Café Honey Mustard in second place with 254.
• Utilization:  This awards the most points to the team who has left the fewest points on the bench.  Wyld Ass Monkeys lead the way with a 91.4% utilization rate, with American BadAss close behind at 91.3%.  NASCAR Café Honey Mustard has the lowest utilization rate so far at 81.7%.

As always, midterm grades are doled out on a strict curve, with 2 A’s, 2 B’s, 2 C’s, 2 D’s and 2 F’s.  It’s all scientific…there are no gut feelings.  Now, without further ado, here are the 2025 Midterm grades:

The last two seasons, the team who received the A+ midterm grade went on to win the Championship (my Rebels last season and Sofa King Great in 2023).  In 2022, Joe’s Pats received the A+ and finished 2nd, while Luck of the Irish received a “D” and won the championship.  So top graded teams do tend to finish well, but it is hardly a set conclusion.  Still a lot of football left to be played!

CONTRANYMS

English is such an odd language, that we have words which can mean one thing, and mean the exact opposite.  These are called contranyms.  Some examples:

-Dust: To remove dust or to add fine particles (e.g. powdered sugar).

-Garnish: To add as a decoration or to take away (as in a deduction from a paycheck).

-Oversight: Supervision or failure to notice something.

-Sanction: To approve or to penalize.

-Seed: To sow seeds or to remove seeds.

-Wind up: To end or to start up.

History dodged

BEST BENCH(es)

The highest total on a Best Bench was in Week 2, when Joe’s Pats tallied a solid 50-point-improvement possibility.  Basically if Joe is gonna take the crown, he likes to go big!  Thus last week, claiming his 2nd Best Bench and the 2nd highest total so far, the Week 7 Best Bench goes to… Joe’s Pats!  Joe could have improved by 48 points this time, and needed a half roster swap to get there:  C. Olave for N. Collins +19, D. Adams for D. London +17, R. Stevenson for B. Hall +10 and Houston for LA Rams +2.

This week there were not nearly as many points on benches, plus three teams had optimal line ups.  But with a 24-point-improvement possibility, the Week 8 Best Bench goes to… sprouts!  Russ needed only two roster swaps:  C. Brown for C. McCaffrey +16 and J. Love for B. Nix +8.  This was the 2nd lowest Best Bench total of the season, and is Russ’ first crown since Week 16 last season.

Okay just four teams on byes for Week 9, so get those waiver claims in and get your rosters ready!

Sprouts dominates again!

Welcome to the Year of the Sprouts!  In another impressive showing, Russ’ sprouts finished as top dog for the 3rd time this season with a solid 124 point Week 6 performance!  Russ seems to dominate on the even number weeks, as he has now snagged the Weekly High Score in Weeks 2, 4 & 6.  (Looking ahead to Week 8, and he’ll be playing against American BadAss, so good luck with all that bro. Ha!)  This week sprouts’ top performers were Josh Jacobs (26 pts), Jaxon Smith-Njigba (25 pts), Cameron Dicker (17 pts), Denver Def (17 pts) and Christian McCaffrey (16 pts).  The 124 points posted was also the highest point total we’ve seen this season!  On the week’s where Russ has been tops, he is averaging 121 points, and in the odd number weeks he’s averaging 85.  So a bit of a roller-coaster ride going on.  But nice work once again senor!

In other games around the league, the winless are no more as Unlucky Irish pummeled my hapless Rebels 86-63 to move to a 1-5 record.  In the South Division, three teams are tied for best record at 4-2, Worst to 1st, Joe’s Pats and Big Sack No TD’s.  In the North Division, American BadAss sports the league’s best record at 5-1 after a convincing 114-73 victory over J LUV U LONG TIME.  Interestingly, sprouts leads everyone in scoring by a big margin (618 points scored versus 550 for next closest), but only has a 3-3 record.  

Injuries are really starting to mount up as well, as we see big name players like Lamar Jackson, Kyler Murray, Marvin Harrison Jr., Mike Evans, CeeDee Lamb, Bucky Irving, Chuba Hubbard, Brock Bowers, and others not in action.  You can tell there have been a lot of injuries, because there have already been 42 waiver claims processed so far this season, along with 35 free agent pick-ups!  That’s over half the number of players drafted at the start of the year… insane!

Just a quick update this week, but no week is complete without a Best Bench…

BEST BENCH

There were not a lot of points on benches this week, as the league average was just 10.8.  Wyld Ass Monkeys even had an optimal line up!  But, with a 21-point-improvement-possibility, the Week 6 Best Bench goes to… my Scottish Rebels!

Shawn avoided setting the four-week-in-a-row record by only having 10 points on his bench this week.  For me, it is my first Best Bench since Week 6 last season.  I needed only two roster moves to get there… D. Swift for T. Etienne Jr +18 and T. Lawrence for J. Allen +3.  My Rebels had the longest streak without a Best Bench, and now that record shifts to the Wyld Ass Monkeys who last had a one in Week 7 last year.  We’ll see how long Rob can hang on.

Get those waivers in and get ready for Week 7!  Mid-terms are only two weeks away!!

  

American BadAss Takes Week 5!

The last two weeks have been crazy!  In both weeks, four of the games were single digit victories and the fifth game was an absolute blow out.  In Week 4, the first four games were decided by: 7 points, 5 points, 4 points and 4 points, while the last game was a 72 point domination!  This week, the first four games were decided by: 8 points, 5 points 1 point and 1 point, and the last game by a 41 point difference!   

Last week’s big congrats go to Russ’ sprouts who were on the winning side of the 72 point victory, besting not only his opponent (Wyld Ass Monkeys) but also everyone else in the league.  Russ had big performances from Josh Jacobs (27 points), Bo Nix (25 points), Amon-Ra St. Brown (19 points) and Christian McCaffrey (19 points).  (The 72 point victory tied for the 12th largest margin of victory in league history).  Russ also became the first team to snag two Weekly High Score prizes this season!  Nice work sir!

This week’s big congrats go to Jason’s American BadAss who pulled out a 1-point victory over Wyld Ass Monkeys 98-97.  (Rob seems to be bringing out the best of his opponents, having played the top scorer for the last two weeks.)  Jason got there courtesy of a big game from Baker Mayfield (29 points) and having five of his other players score in double digits.  Nice work bro!  This is Jason’s first Weekly High Score Prize this season, and his first since Week 16 last season.

Week 4 saw the last of the undefeated teams go down, as Big Sack No TD’s lost in a nail biter to American BadAss.  And unfortunately there is still one winless team, Unlucky Irish, as John has lost two close ones the last two weeks, losing by just 4 points in Week 4 and 8 points in Week 5.  There’s still time to turn it around, as we still have nine weeks of the regular season to go!

Now since we are five weeks into the season, it is time for my Way Too Early Playoff Predictions!  Plus one team has been absolutely DOMINATING the Best Bench.  So let’s get to this!

WAY TOO EARLY PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS

Last season 5 of the 6 teams I predicted to qualify for the playoffs made it in, with only Wyld Ass Monkeys not coming through.  Luck of the Irish made it in, even though my prediction model had them finishing 9th.  Looking back through the years, and only twice have I been perfect in my predictions, most recently in 2020.  The worst I’ve done was in 2023 when I only got 3 of 6 picked correctly.  I mean, I could probably randomly draw names out of a hat and do better than 3 out of 6.  In fact, I’ll do that this year along with my normal picks and see if all my analysis actually does any better than just random draws.

In determining playoff qualifying picks, there are several categories being considered: Overall Record, Points Scored Rank, Remaining Schedule Difficulty, and Utilization Rate.

Among these categories, there are two sure bets: the team who has scored the most points through the first five weeks has qualified for the playoffs every time, and the second highest scoring team has qualified 88.9% of the time.  With 494 points scored, sprouts leads all teams in scoring and are thus my first pick to make the playoffs.  Not too far behind is Worst to 1st who has scored 475 points thus far, and is my second pick to make the playoffs.  (Those two teams are also ranked #1 and #2 in Utilization Rate so far this season, which also bodes well for making it in.)

The next team I’m picking to make it in to the playoffs is American BadAss, as they are currently tied for the best record in the league (which qualifies 80% of the time), plus are the 4th highest scoring team and rank #3 in Utilization.

The fourth team I’m picking is my Scottish Rebels, for two reasons.  1) I currently have the easiest remaining schedule for the regular season, and 2) I’m currently the 3rd highest scoring team.  But recent performances from my team, plus injuries have me concerned to say the least.

The fifth team I’m picking to make it is, Mr. What Do You Know?! himself, Jens’ Big Sack No TD’s!  Jens is tied for the best record in the league and is tied for 4th in points scored.  He does have the 8th hardest remaining schedule, and is 6th in Utilization, so it could still be a tough road.

The final team I’m picking is NASCAR Café Honey Mustard.  This was a very close pick between several teams, but Timmy gets the nod due to having the 2nd easiest remaining schedule, and bearing the name of the greatest condiment ever created.

So those are my six picks for this season:  sprouts, Worst to 1st, American BadAss, Scottish Rebels, Big Sack No TD’s and NASCAR Café Honey Mustard.  If I picked your team, go out there and make me proud!  If I didn’t, go out there and prove me wrong!  

Now for the random picks out of a hat… in no particular order, they are:

    Worst to 1st (James)

    NASCAR Café Honey Mustard (Timmy)

    Joe’s Pats (Joe)

    sprouts (Russ)

    American BadAss (Jason)

    J LUV U LONG TIME (Shawn)

We’ll see if my deep analysis or random chance does a better job picking.

ESOTERIC JOKE OF THE WEEK

6:30 is the best time on a clock.

Hands down.

ALL UNWANTEDS

After the hot start to the season, the All Unwanteds have really cooled off.  In Week 4, they had a decent showing putting up a total of 90 points, but that would have only defeated three teams in the league, so it goes down as a loss.  

Here is their line-up for this week:

Again, a decent showing, but zeroes from Trey Benson and Zach Ertz did not help the cause.  Also, the AU’s will be going with Slye as their kicker for the remainder of the season after Spencer Shrader got injured.  Overall for Week 5 they would have beaten only 4 teams in the league, so this goes down as another loss, making their record 2-3 for the season.

BEST BENCH(es)

Before we get into the Best Bench(es), just wanted to point out that we have had only 1 Optimal Line-up so far this season, which was American BadAss in Week 4.  The 97 points ABA posted could not have been improved upon with any roster changes.  Last year through the first 5 weeks there had been 2 Optimal Line-ups and we finished the year with it being accomplished 11 times.

On the other end of the spectrum, the team with the most points on the bench is making my job really easy because I've only have to write one name for a while.  With an unbelievable third week in a row, the Week 5 Best Bench goes to… J LUV U LONG TIME!

This week Shawn could have improved by 30 points with three roster moves:  C. Ridley for J. Jeudy +12, D. Montgomery for J. Cook +12 and J. Fields for J. Hurts +6.  Last week Shawn could have improved by +21 points with three roster moves: D. Goedert for TJ Hockenson +12, J. Fields for J. Hurts +8 and J. Jeudy for C. Ridley +1.  Since 2019, there has only been one other time where a team has snagged 3 Best Benches in a row, so we are in rarified air.  Four in a row would be an all-time record!

Get your rosters set and get ready for Week 6!!