ATTACK!!!

Across 9 teams this week, the average score was 78, in a range of 62 to 103.  Then, in a different zip code, was this week’s high scoring team, Attack of Mahomes, with 132 points!   The 29-point margin between that and the second highest scoring team (Big Sack No TD’s) ties for the largest margin we’ve seen this season.  Timmy got there with big games from Patrick Mahomes (20 pts) and Travis Kelce (19 pts), of course, plus got 31 points from runningback Johnathan Taylor!  This is Tim’s 1st Weekly High Score Prize this season and marks the 6th different team to win a prize so far.  Well done Tim-may!!

In playoff matchups, Sofa King American continued his winning streak with a solid 91-81 victory over Joe’s Pats, and will now move on to face sprouts in the semis.  Should be a high scoring game, as both Sofa King and sprouts are averaging nearly 100 points per week.  In the other game, my Longshanks boys overcame a total of 3 points combined from my wide receivers and defense (DJ Chark, Corey Davis and the Ravens each scored just 1 friggin’ point a piece) to beat Young Guns 80-67.  I’ll now move on to face Attack of Mahomes.  It’s down to the top four seeds remaining!

BIG TIME

• Derrick Henry, RB – Vandelay Industries – 36 pts – Henry bulldozed through the Jags defense to a total of 212 yards and 2 TD’s.  I think he must have a fear of the number 13, because check out his scores the last 4 weeks:  Week 11 – 19 pts, Week 12 – 38 pts, Week 13 – 4 pts (??), Week 14 – 36 pts.  
• Lamar Jackson, QB – Vandelay Industries – 34 pts – Ho-hum day for Jackson passing—just 163 yards and 1 TD—but he went crazy on the ground for 124 yards and 2 TD’s!  He is now ranked 10th among QB’s with 247 points scored this year.  Thru Week 14-2019, Jackson had scored 338 points, so he is a bit off pace this season.
• Johnathan Taylor, RB – Attack of Mahomes – 31 pts – He had a solid day rushing for 150 yards and 2 TD’s.  Over his last three games, he has scored 61 points, and now ranks as the 11th highest scoring runningback in fantasy.
• Aaron Rodgers, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 30 pts – Who would have thought Aaron Rodgers could keep doing it all these years?  Shawn f-ing Martin, that’s who!!  Rodgers has been spectacular for the last 8 weeks where he has not scored less than 21 points, and is now the 3rd highest scoring player in all of fantasy.  Only Patrick Mahomes and Kyler Murray have scored more points this season. F-N-A

COME ON MAN

• D.J. Chark, WR – Longshanks – 1 pt – Just nothing…absolutely nothing.
• Corey Davis, WR – Longshanks – 1 pt – He was on track to deliver a whopping 3 points, until he lost a fumble.
• Baltimore, DEF – Longshanks – 1 pt – The Ravens were really bad against the Browns, and should have finished with -1 point, but on an idiotic final play somehow scored a safety and thus avoided the negative points.  They started the year averaging 15 points per week through the first 7 weeks, but are averaging half that (7.2) for the last 7 weeks. 
• James Conner, RB – Sofa King American – 1 pt – Tremendously ineffective and likely still suffering from his quad injury, Conner had 10 carries for just 18 yards.  Not hard to do the math on that to see that he pretty much sucked.
• Devontae Booker, RB – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – Well, it wasn’t from a lack of opportunity… Booker rushed 4 times for just 8 yards and caught 3 passes for just 11 yards.  
• Trey Burton, TE – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – Splitting time with Doyle and Alie-Cox does not leave much for Burton.  He wasn’t even targeted this week.

ALL UNWANTEDS

Those who shalln’t be drafted have had a remarkable finish to their season.  After starting the season 1-5, and hitting rock bottom with a low score of 56 points in Week 5, The Unwanteds scored no less than 71 points from Week 7 on and actually crossed triple digits four times (Weeks 7, 10, 12 and 13).  Over that span, they amassed a record of 6-1 to finish with a record of 7-6!

Here was their Week 14 roster:

QB Gardner Minshew II    Jax 13

WR Keelan Cole Sr.            Jax 12

WR Laviska Shenault Jr.    Jax 4

RB James Robinson          Jax 7

RB J.D. McKissic             Was    7

TE Logan Thomas     Was 4

DEF Washington     Was 25

K Dustin Hopkins     Was 13

TOTAL  = 85

With a final record of 7-6, that would have put the UW’s in a tie with Joe’s Pats to make it into the playoffs.  In total this season, they scored 1,153 points which trailed Joe’s Pats by just 7 points!  Looks like you just edged them out Joe... ;-)

BEST BENCH

Coming into Week 14, three teams had avoided being Best Bench, but now that number is down to 2!  When three players combine to score only 3 points, you’re setting yourself up for some bench improvement.  So for the first time since Week 6, 2019, the Best Bench goes to… Longshanks!  There was much improvement to be had, as I could have improved by 49 points (3rd highest Best Bench this year) with three roster moves:  LA Rams for Ravens (+27), N. Agholor for D. Chark (+15), C. Kupp for C. Davis (+8).  Two weeks left and only two teams have not had a Best Bench: Sofa King American and Vandelay Industries.

Crazy to think we are down to just four team vying for the title, this season has just flown by… get those waivers in for these final games!