Make it two for sprouts!

Two in a row!  Sprouts are on an absolute tear, having won their last two games by an average margin of 63 points, and scoring an incredible 279 points over the last two weeks which is 57 more points than the next closest team (American BadAss with 222) and nearly 100 points more than the league average (181.9 points).  Last week, sprouts had a huge game from Mike Evans (40 pts), plus over 20 points from: Chicago (24 pts), Cooper Kupp (22 pts) and Matt Ryan (22 pts). It all added up to 154 points, which ranks as the 2nd highest Weekly High Score of all time!  This week, Russ overcame zero points from his tight end (Greg Olsen) to still score 125 thanks to a huge game from Nick Chubb (38 pts), and double digit scores from 6 other positions.  Nice job, Russ!  Keep it going!

In league standings, Attack of Mahomes leads the way as the only undefeated team at 4-0.  Three teams have only one loss (American BadAss, sprouts and Bella Dancers).  Joe’s Pats is the lone winless team, sitting at 0-4.  Don’t worry Joe…I still hold the record for (twice!) starting off 0-6, so you’ve still got a ways to go.

Just a quick update this week… onward!!

BIG TIME
-Nick Chubb, RB – sprouts – 38 pts – Massive performance from Chubb, going off for 183 total yards and 3 TD’s!  He's scored in double digits the last three weeks and currently ranks as the 4th highest scoring running back.
-Chris Godwin, WR – Big Sack – 32 pts – Godwin benefitted big time from the game turning into a shootout.  He finished with 172 yards on 12 catches plus 2 TD’s.
-Jameis Winston, QB – Big Sack – 32 pts – Winston is improving each week, having scored 6, 12, 28 and now 32 points this week.  Perhaps Bruce Arians is the quarterback whisperer, like people say.

COME ON MAN
-Juju Smith-Schuster, WR – Young Guns – 1 pt – The Steelers rout the Bengals 27-3, yet somehow JSS caught 3 passes for only 15 yards. 
-Greg Olsen, TE – sprouts – 0 pts – After a 2 touchdown performance last week, Olsen was held to a pathetic 5 yards on 2 catches.
-Adam Thielen, WR – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Just 2 catches for 6 yards, in a very lackluster game against the Bears. 
-Delanie Walker, TE – Big Sack – 0 pts – One catch for 4 yards.  Not so much.
-Green Bay, DEF – Coors Light Drunk Guys – -1 pts – The Packer defense recorded no defensive stats and gave up 34 points to the Eagles.  Wow that’s bad.

PLAYOFFS?
It is never too early to start thinking about the playoffs, right?  Well get ready because next week will be my annual “5 Weeks In Playoff Predictions”.  Last year I was correct on 5 of 6…can I make it 6 for 6 this season?

BEST BENCH
Two best benches to award this week, and both go to “J” names so you are safe this time, Timmy!  Week 3 saw a couple big bench improvements, but none bigger than from my team, Longshanks.  With just three roster moves: P. Lindsay for P. Barber (+20), D. Moore for S. Diggs (+11) and W. Dissly for G. Kittle (+7), I could have improved by 38 points!  (38 is the highest best bench total for this season).
This week was interesting because we actually had the lowest point improvements overall, and the winner has the lowest improvement total for the season.  With a 30-point improvement possibility, the Week 4 Best Bench goes to… Young Guns!  John only needed three roster moves:  R. Woods for T. McLarin (+19), D. Williams for C. Hyde (+10), and M. Brown for J. Smith-Schuster (+1)

Sorry to cut it short this week...just haven’t had my normal time at work to get some writing in.  Don’t you hate it when your boss makes you do actual work?  What in the hell?! 
We’ll be back to a full length write-up next week.  Until then, get those waivers in and get ready for Week 5!!!

All-American Week 2

Two weeks in and we have just two teams at 2-0 and two teams at 0-2.  Attack of Mahomes is top dog, leading the way with 221 points scored thus far, which ranks as the 3rd most points scored in the first two weeks in Sacred Sundays history.  (Channel 4 News Team—Tim’s 2013 incarnation--holds the record of 231 points scored in the first two weeks).  Keep on rocking, Timmy!  Defending champ Joe’s Pats, is at the other end of the spectrum, having yet to find a victory and having only scored 147 points.  Of course, two weeks is not a lot of time and there is plenty of football left to be played.  Last year, after two weeks Young Guns were in 9th place and they ended up finishing in 3rd, while Coors Light Drunk Guys and sprouts were both 2-0 and ended up missing the playoffs.  So it’s still anyone’s game…

Player rankings are crazy right now too…!  Any guesses on the highest scoring wide receiver?  That would be John Ross III, wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals who has scored 47 points so far.  Top three runningbacks?  Dalvin Cook (50 pts), Austin Ekeler (48 pts) and Derrick Henry (42 pts).  Top tight end?  How does Mark Andrews sound to you?  Mark freaking Andrews??  (For those wondering, Andrews plays for the Ravens and has scored 33 points this year, which is 9 more than Travis Kelce.)  And my favorite position of all…Kickers.  The top kicker right now is Joey Slye.  Gold star to anyone who can correctly guess Mr. Slye’s team.  (Answer at the bottom).

The Weekly High Score honors this week go to American BadAss who is living the mantra “Defense wins championships!”  ABA annihilated the field this week posting an impressive 130 points, 19 more than the next closest team and 50 points higher than the average score this week.  Jason had a legendary defensive performance from the Patriots, racking up 41 points, along with big games from Dak Prescott (26 pts), Ezekiel Elliott (17 pts) and his kicker Joey Slye (16 pts).  This week’s high score is the highest we’ve seen since Week 10 last season, when American BadAss had 158.  Nice work once again, bro!

This week we’ll see how good of a free agent team I can put together and find out which team is dominating the bench this season.  Onward!

BIG TIME
-New England, DEF – American BadAss – 41 pts – It was pretty well assumed the Patriots would lay the smack down on the Dolphins, but even this felt a bit excessive.  Seven sacks, 4 interceptions, 2 TD’s, 2 4th down stops and ZERO points surrendered!  This is the 3rd best defensive performance in Sacred Sundays history, with only Seattle (45 pts, Week 14-2012) and Philly (43 pts, Week 1-2009) having scored more in a single game. 
-Patrick Mahomes, QB – Attack of Mahomes – 34 pts – Once again, Mahomes 1st half would be considered a great full game by any other quarterback.  This week he had 313 yard and 4 TD’s IN THE FIRST HALF!  What this guy is doing is simply unprecedented.
-Demarcus Robinson, WR – Free Agent – 32 pts – Don’t feel bad if you don’t know who this guy is…even Timmy didn’t have him on his roster.  So to get everyone up to speed, Demarcus Robinson is a wide receiver for the Chiefs who just caught 6-of-6 passes for 172 yards and 2 TD’s.  Just an average game for a guy catching passes from a guy named Patrick Mahomes.
-Lamar Jackson, QB – Vandelay Industries – 30 pts – Jackson threw for 272 yards, ran for 120 plus threw 2 TD’s.  He’s scored only 2 fewer points than Mahomes so far, so he is on an absolutely blistering pace, averaging 31 points per game.

COME ON MAN!
-Josh Gordon, WR – Big Sack – 1 pt – Only two catches for 19 yards.  He is part of a now very crowded receiving corps in New England.
-TJ Hockenson, TE – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – After looking like the 2nd coming of Tony Gonzalez last week (131 yards and a TD), TJ played like a true Detroit Lion and scored zero this week.  He did manage one catch, but it only went for 7 yards.
-OJ Howard, TE – Joe’s Pats – 0 pts – Howard caught one pass, but negated it with his own offensive pass interference penalty.  Not quite the production Joe was expecting from the 1st pick of the 4th round…

REALISTIC COMPANY SLOGANS
Denny’s – Because it’s 2:30 a.m., you’re drunk and want pancakes.
Facebook – We know more about you than you do.
US Government - …And we’ll take that info.
Internet Explorer – Your No. 1 browser for downloading other browsers.
Java – You don’t know what I am, update me anyway.

FREE AGENT DOMINATION
Check out the team of free agents I was able to cobble together this week:

Josh Allen Buf - QB	22
Demarcus Robinson KC - WR	32
Nelson Agholor Phi - WR	16
Raheem Mostert SF - RB	20
Jeff Wilson Jr. SF - RB	15
Will Dissly Sea - TE	17
Eddy Pineiro Chi - K	15
Tampa Bay TB - DEF	15
Total -	152

Of those, I think Agholor has been on a team once, and maybe Tampa Bay.  All of the others are complete newbies.  How about a Buffalo Bill QB being up there, and not one, but two running backs from San Fran.  Weird stuff man...

ESOTERIC JOKE(S) OF THE WEEK
There’s a band called 1023MB.  Unfortunately, they haven’t had any gigs yet.

Two hydrogen atoms sit on a curb.  One of them is sad
“What’s the problem, bud?”
“I think an electron left me.”
“Are you certain?  They’re small, they’re easy to miss…”
“No, no, I’m positive.”

What do you call 8 hobbits?  A hobbyte.

BEST BENCH
So this may be the craziest Best Bench situation I’ve ever seen… Last week Attack of Mahomes had the best bench, needing to swap in Sammy Watkins and LeSean McCoy for Kenny Golladay and Aaron Jones.  So Tim did just that this week, starting Watkins and McCoy.  However, fast forward to this week, and Attack of Mahomes once again claims the Best Bench, but two of the players needed to swap out are Watkins and McCoy back in favor of Golladay and Jones!  Are you freaking kidding me?
The total point improvement possibility was 37, and Timmy needed 3 roster moves:  A. Jones for L. McCoy +18, K. Golladay for S. Watkins +13, and C. Ridley for A. Cooper +6.  Attack of Mahomes is currently leading in points scored, and in Bench points… simply a point-making machine!

That’s all for Week 2… get those waivers in!!
Trivia answer – Joey Slye is a proud kicker for the Carolina Panthers.  Jason – I doubt even you got that right.  Ha!

Sacred Sundays 2019!! Version XVI

The 16th season of Sacred Sundays is underway!  Sixteen years of fantasy football… man how things have changed.  Back in 2004, players were extolled for big hits and collisions in ESPN’s ‘Jacked UP!’ segment, and now those players draw fines and suspensions for those hits.  In 2004, extra points were merely an afterthought after a touchdown, and now you’ve gotta hope and pray your kicker doesn’t F up an extra point and lose the game.  In 2004, Tom Brady was just coming off of leading the Patriots to a Superbowl title, and now, well… so yeah, I guess not everything has changed.

Week 1 2019 belongs to Attack of Mahomes!  Timmy had monster performances from Patrick Mahomes (30 pts), Dalvin Cook (23 pts) and his kicker, Harrison Butker (17 pts), to lead all scorers with 112 points!  This is the exact opposite start to Timmy’s season from last year-- in Week 1 2018 he only scored 60 points and was the week's lowest scorer.  Nice turnaround Timtim!!  Let's go Chiefs!

So this week we’ll take a look back at the Yahoo’s 2018 predictions to see how accurate they were, recap the draft with some additional stats and give out a Best Bench of a variety we haven’t seen in nearly a year.  But first, some observations…

BIG TIME
-Sammy Watkins, WR – Attack of Mahomes – 40 pts – Epic day for Watkins finishing with 9 catches for 198 yards and 3 TD’s!  It was the fifth best single-game receiving performance in Chiefs history.  Fantasy-wise, this also ranked as the fifth best wide receiver performance since 2009, and is only the 36th time a player has scored over 40 points since 2009.
-Dak Prescott, QB – American BadAss – 36 pts – QB perfection was achieved on Sunday, and it wasn’t by someone named Rodgers, Brady or Brees.  Nope, it was Dak, who completed 25 of 32 passes for 405 yards, 4 TD’s and zero picks, which equates to a QB rating of 158.3 (the highest QB rating possible).
-Austin Ekeler, RB – Vandelay Industries- 32 pts – Top running back performance of the week belonged to Ekeler (didn’t see that coming) who gashed the Colts to the tune of 154 yards and 3 TD’s.  Melvin Gordon could not have been happy to see this one…totally reminds me of the Le’Veon Bell hold out last year when it was James Conner who went off.
-Lamar Jackson, QB – Vandelay Industries – 32 pts – Jackson didn’t need many passes to do his damage... he threw only 20 passes, completing 17 for 324 yards and 5 TD’s!  He tied a record set by Peyton Manning for the most TD’s in an opening season game.  (Caveat – His opponent was the Miami Dolphins, so may need to temper expectations just a bit.)
-Christian McCaffrey, RB – Longshanks – 32 pts – This is the definition of a workhorse:  19 rushes for 128 yards, 10 catches for 81 yards and 2 TD’s.  Love it.
-San Francisco, DEF – Free Agent – 31 pts – The 49ers defense absolutely dominated the Bucs… 3 sacks, 3 interceptions, 1 fumble recovery, 2 4th down stops, 2 TD’s and only gave up 11 points.  They’ve now got the Bengals next week…could we see another performance like this?
-John Ross III, WR – Free Agent – 30 pts – Coming into this week, the best game of Ross’ career was a 3 catch 52 yard performance.  He tripled his yardage output this week, catching 7 balls for 158 yards and 2 TD’s.
-Patrick Mahomes, QB – Attack of Mahomes – 30 pts – Mahomes had what any other quarterback would consider a great game in just his first half.  For the first half, Mahomes had 313 yards and 2 TD’s.  Can you imagine?  On pace for over 600 yards!  He ending up adding just 60 yards but one more TD in the second, just for good measure.

COME ON MAN
-Mike Evans, WR – sprouts – 2 pts – Just a weak showing for Evans, catching only 2 passes for 28 yards.
-Philadelphia, DEF – Young Guns – 1 pt – Through 60 minutes of football, all the Eagles defense could muster was 1 sack.  One measly sack.
-Joe Mixon, RB – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – Mixon did get hurt in the game, but he was never ruled out.  Up to the point when he got “injured” he had 6 carries for 10 yards, a whopping 1.6 yards per carry.
-OJ Howard, TE – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – The Juice actually had 32 yards on the day, but lost a red zone fumble.  And most of his dignity.
-Donte Moncrief, WR – Longshanks – 0 pts – For being someone who is paid to catch a football, Moncrief is not very good at it.  He had multiple drops and the 3 he did catch only amounted to 7 yards.
-Denver, DEF – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – Against Oakland, the Broncos had no sacks, no interceptions, no blocked kicks, no fumble recoveries, and gave up 24 points.  Against Oakland.

YAHOO! PREDICTIONS
Immediately following the draft, as they have done in prior years, the Yahoo! prediction machine predicted the season results for the entire upcoming season.  At the bottom of this year’s Yahoo! predictions are Big Sack and Joe’s Pats, with predicted records of 1-11-1 and 2-10-1 respectively.  At the top of the heap are sprouts and Attack of Mahomes with predicted records of 11-2 each. The team predicted to be highest scoring is sprouts with 1,520, and the lowest scoring team is the Coors Light Drunk Guys predicted to score only 1,320.

Now before you get too excited or depressed about how Yahoo! thinks your season will go, let’s look at how last year’s predictions fared.  Last year’s projected highest scoring team was Young Guns with 1,400 points.  Well, Young Guns finished with only 1,173 points ranking 7th.  The Bubble Craps Bandits were projected to be the lowest scoring team (1,251) and have the worst record (2-11).  Well the Bandits (renamed to Attack of Mahomes) ended up as the highest scoring team (1,299) with the BEST record (9-4).  So Yahoo! didn’t do so hot with those predictions.

How about with playoff predictions?  The top six predicted teams last season were:  Young Guns, Sofa King Back, Vandelay Industries, Joe’s Pats, American BadAss and sprouts.  Of those, Vandelay Industries and sprouts ended up missing the playoffs.  So playoff teams were predicted correct on 4 out of 6 (66.6%).  But the two teams not predicted to make the playoffs, Attack of Mahomes and Longshanks, finished 2nd and 4th respectively.  (This season the top six teams predicted are: sprouts, Attack of Mahomes, Young Guns, Longshanks, Bella Dancers and American BadAss.)

But not all of the predictions made last year were wildly wrong… Joe’s Pats was picked to be the 2nd highest scoring team and finished as the 2nd highest scoring team, sprouts was predicted to have a record of 6-7 and finished with a record of 6-7, and the Coors Light Drunk Guys were predicted to finish 9th but finished 10th.  (But lets be honest…predicting that the Coors Light Drunk Guys are going to finish at the bottom is not exactly a hot take.  Hahaha!  What do you know, Shawn!?!)

The most striking thing I noticed looking at the Yahoo! predictions from last year is how they predicted all scores to total 13,234, yet there were only 11,783 actual points scored.  That is a difference of 1,451 points or nearly 91 fewer actual points scored per week than predicted. 

DRAFT STATS
This year every NFL team had at least one player picked in our draft, with Miami, Buffalo and Washington each having just a single player selected.  On the other end of the spectrum, Kansas City led the way with 10 players picked, followed by Houston and LA Rams with 8, and Cleveland, LA Chargers, New England and New Orleans all had 7 players picked.

The most popular position picked was wide receiver with 50 taken, followed by running backs with 44.  American BadAss, Young Guns and Attack of Mahomes each picked 6 wide receivers in the draft.  There were only 18 quarterbacks selected because both Young Guns and Attack of Mahomes did not draft a back-up QB.  Tampa Bay was the only NFL team to not have a running back selected.  Four teams--Baltimore, Washington, Buffalo and Miami--did not have a wide receiver selected.  Lastly, the Chiefs and the Saints were the only two teams to have players selected in all positions (QB, RB, WR, TE, K and DEF).

BEST BENCH
There was a close battle for the first best bench of the season, as four teams had bench improvement totals greater than 30 points.  Vandelay Industries, Joe’s Pats and American BadAss had improvement possibilities of 33, 31 and 30 points, but none could top the week’s high scorer… Attack of Mahomes!  Yep, it is a Double Crown week for Timmy as he takes the Best Bench, with a 36 point improvement possibility, along with the Weekly High Score Prize!  (Our last Double Crown winner was American BadAss in Week 3 last year).
Attack of Mahomes needed only two roster moves to get there:  S. Watkins for K. Golladay (+30 pts) and L. McCoy for A. Jones (+6 pts).  With those roster moves, Tim’s optimal line-up would have consisted of 6 Kansas City Chief players.  Do it Timmy!  Let’s see an all-Chiefs roster this season!!

Okay, so get those waiver claims in and get ready for Week 2!!