F'n'A Right!!

I am proud to say that I have finally moved into the 21^st century and just enjoyed my first football weekend in high definition. Let me just say that it was awe-inspiring! Here are a couple high definition observations:

-Watching injuries in super slo-mo is extra painful;

-Robert Gallery has way too many tattoos;

-Cris Collinsworth is older than I thought;

and

-FOOTBALL RULES!!

Now that that’s out of the way, let me say congratulations to Shawn and his Coors Light Drunk Guys for nearly doubling sprout’s total, and putting up an impressive 129 points to blow away everyone this week!! Shawn was a genius on his keepers, as those two players (Brees & Wayne) accounted for 64 of his points…way to go Shawn!! Meanwhile in our other games, Joe’s Pats overcame a 25-point deficit on Monday to beat James, Timmy put the smack down on Mojo, Jamie and Jason couldn’t decide who should win so they just decided to tie, and I very nearly relegated myself to sleeping on the couch after defeating Frito Pie. Good stuff!!

So this week we’ll get all geared up for Round 1 of the “What Do You Know?! Bowl” (for which I have found the theme song) between Jens and Shawn, we’ll take a look at player’s draft positions to see who got the best value, and I'll laugh at Shawn Merriman for being such an idiot. But first, some observations…

Big Time

-Eagles, DEF – Midnight Maulers – 43 pts – This was as dominating of a defensive performance that I have ever seen in Fantasy. Here’s a rundown of the final numbers: 5 interceptions, 2 fumble recoveries, 5 quarterback sacks, 1 defensive touchdown and 10 points allowed. To top it off, they only gave up 151 yards… outstanding…

-Adrian Peterson, RB – Lords of Lumberg – 40 pts – It felt like I was watching Timmy play NFL Blitz the way that AP dominated the Browns on Sunday. (Seriously, have you ever seen an actual running back literally throw defenders out of his way like that? Normally to do something like that you need to have a full boost bar and a couple cheat codes in effect.) In all seriousness, Peterson could realistically score 80 points in his next game because the Vikings take on the Lions in Week 2…

-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 39 pts – You know it’s a crazy week when a guy scores 39 points, and is only the third highest scorer! But don’t let this detract from what Brees accomplished – 6 passing touchdowns and 358 yards!

-Tony Romo, QB – Scottish Rebels – 29 pts – So how do you replace the production of T.O.? How about 353 yards and 3 touchdowns? Yeah, that should just about do it…

-Reggie Wayne, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 25 pts – Peyton obviously didn’t feel too uncomfortable being without Marvin Harrison for the first time. Wayne had 10 catches for 162 yards and a touchdown.

-Joe Flacco, QB – Lords of Lumberg – 23 pts – Flacco is probably the most exciting thing to come out of Delaware, since well, uh, ever.

-Thomas Jones, RB – Frito Pie – 22 pts – Jones was held to only 1 yard in the first half, but added an additional 106 in the second half.

-John Carlson, TE – American BadAss – 21 pts – I give you your top tight end after Week 1. Carlson had 95 yards and 2 touchdowns, which is exactly 90 yards and 2 touchdowns more than I would have expected from this guy.

Hmm, not so much

-Steve Slaton, RB – Lords of Lumberg – 2 pts – Not exactly the kind of output you would expect from a guy who was taken on average with the 18^th pick in fantasy drafts.

-Braylon Edwards, WR – American BadAss – 1 pt – Looks like it was one of those days where Braylon didn’t feel like playing.

-Eddie Royal, WR – sprouts – 1 pt – Denver looks to be in disarray and needed a miracle final play to beat the Bengals.

-Knowshon Moreno, RB – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – Denver looks to be in disarray and needed a miracle final play to beat the Bengals.

-Kris Brown, K – Frito Pie – 1 pt – Houston was thought to have a potent offense this year, but they only managed one touchdown and never gave Brown a chance for a field goal.

-Josh Brown, K – Scottish Rebels – 0 pts – Bad week for kickers named Brown.

-Greg Olsen, TE – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Unless your name is Earl Bennett, Jay Cutler probably isn’t going to look your direction when throwing a pass.

What Do You Know?! Bowl – Round 1

The trash talking has already begun, and now for the first time I have found the theme song for this game…

Puscifer – “The Mission”

Listen to it here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XoGcSw565U).

Btw-Jens, there might be a lawsuit possibility here because they use your catch phrase about 600 times during this song…

Draft Position vs. Points Scored

So I wanted to take a look to see how players stacked up this week based on how they were drafted in our league. For this analysis, I excluded all keepers (my keeper analysis will probably come after Week 3 or 4), so this is only based on players that were available for our draft. Also, I only looked at players that were active. Players were ranked in three categories: Good, Bad and Ugly.

Good Value

-Joe Flacco, QB – Picked Overall = 97^th, Picked by Position = 15^th / Performed Overall = 6^th, Performed Position = 4^th. Points Scored = 23.

-John Carlson, TE – Picked Overall = 90^th, Picked by Position = 7^th / Performed Overall = 8^th, Performed Position = 1^st. Points Scored = 21.

-Minnesota, D – Picked Overall = 90^th, Picked by Position = 7^th / Performed Overall = 16^th, Performed Position = 4^th. Points Scored = 18.

Bad Value

-T.J. Houshmanzadeh, WR - Picked Overall = 14^th, Picked by Position = 7^th / Performed Overall = 130^th, Performed Position = 42^nd. Points Scored = 4.

-Terrell Owens, WR - Picked Overall = 15^th, Picked by Position = 8^th / Performed Overall = 130^th, Performed Position = 42^nd. Points Scored = 4.

-Ronnie Brown, RB - Picked Overall = 3^rd, Picked by Position= 1^st / Performed Overall = 124^th, Performed Position = 38^th. Points Scored = 5.

Ugly Value

-Andre Johnson, WR – Picked Overall = 1^st, Picked by Position= 1^st / Performed Overall = 127^th, Performed Position = 53^rd. Points Scored = 3.

-Steve Smith, WR - Picked Overall = 7^th, Picked by Position= 4^th / Performed Overall = 163^rd, Performed Position = 58^th. Points Scored = 2.

-Greg Olsen, TE - Picked Overall = 34^th, Pick Position = 4^th / Performed Overall = 240^th, Performed Position = 38^th. Points Scored = 0.

Best Overall Value

-Philadelphia, D – Picked Overall = 67^th, Picked Position = 5^th / Performed Overall = 1^st, Performed Position = 1^st.

Political Rant

While the Healthcare debate has been raging on, another bill that is equally troubling has been slowing sneaking its way through the House and is now up for a Senate vote. This bill is the Waxman-Markey Bill [authored by Henry Waxman (D-California) and Edward Markey (D-Massachusetts)], which is more commonly referred to as the “Cap and Trade Bill”.

In a nutshell, here is what “Cap and Trade” is all about. The government would begin requiring the reduction of the amount of carbon emitted by companies. (Specifically it requires a 17% emissions reduction by 2020, and an 80% reduction by 2050). Companies that emit carbon dioxide (basically all companies) will be granted a certain number of “carbon credits” which will offset the amount of CO2 they emit. As the requirements become more stringent, companies will either have to reduce their carbon emissions or they can purchase additional credits. Additional credits can be purchased from competing companies that are below the emission thresholds or directly from the government. So it places a “cap” on carbon emissions and forces companies to “trade” carbon credits. The goal of this plan is to reduce the amount of carbon being emitted to stop global warming. Sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it? Well, here are some major problems with this bill…

First off, carbon dioxide is not even considered a pollutant. Even the EPA (which is in support of the Waxman-Markey Bill), does not consider CO2 a pollutant. The threat, they say, is only from an increased concentration of CO2, which they warn can lead to increasing the effects of global warming.

So just how much of an effect does CO2 have on global warming? Well, water vapor is by far the greatest contributor to the greenhouse effect, accounting for about 95% of the total amount of greenhouse gas present in the atmosphere. Carbon dioxide essentially makes up the remaining 5% (excluding minor greenhouse gases which account for less than 1% of the total). And of that 5%, how much is caused by human’s activities? Only about 3.2 percent. Now do not misinterpret this number…the human contribution of CO2 is only 3.2% of the total carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, which only accounts for 5% of the total greenhouse gas in our atmosphere. So this means that as an overall impact, the amount of CO2 emitted into the atmosphere by humans accounts for less than 0.2% of all greenhouse gases! Even if CO2 output by humans were to double, that would only cause an increase of 0.4% in greenhouse gases! That is less than half a percentage point!!

(In case you are wondering, the largest source of CO2 emissions is plant and animal decay where microorganisms break down dead material and release CO2 as part of the process. Other large natural contributors are volcanoes and forest fires.)

This Waxman-Markey bill is a horrible idea because it will put United States companies at a competitive disadvantage over their global counterparts. China and India (#2 and #3 on the list of CO2 contributors) have already come out and said that they will not support any cap and trade regulations. They understand that imposing something like this will cost billions of dollars for virtually no benefit to the environment. So what will happen to American companies? It will either drive them out of business or force them overseas. The companies that do elect to stay in the U.S. will have to pass on much higher costs to consumers, which brings me to my next point.

The Waxman-Markey bill will lead to a decreased standard of living in the United States. The industry that will be hit hardest by this bill is energy. If this bill goes into effect, expect the costs for energy to skyrocket. The CBO (Congressional Budget Office) has estimated that by 2020, when carbon emissions must be cut by 17%, it will cost average American households an extra $1,600/year ($133/mo). (However, The Wall Street Journal has accused the CBO of significantly underestimating its ultimate costs, pointing out flaws in its calculations. The Wall Street Journal also suggested that the bill's costs would disproportionately affect lower-income households, for which the CBO estimates did not account.)

The standard of living that we enjoy in the United States is largely due to the energy we consume. If energy becomes more expensive, consumers will be forced to either pay more or use less. This is nothing more than government mandated conservation that will put an unbelievable burden on our economy. The Competitive Enterprise Institute argued that the bill was essentially the "largest tax hike in world history".

So let’s just stop all of this insanity over carbon dioxide, and controlling emissions, and put an end to the Cap and Trade nonsense.

Waiver Clarification

All players that are free agents will be placed on waivers at the start of the first game for the week. This means that going forward, if there is a Thursday night game, ALL free agents will be on waivers once that game starts. Waiver claims will be processed first thing Wednesday morning. The waiver order will reset each week and will be the inverse of current standings.

Shawn Merriman is an idiot

Here’s a new rule for athletes to: Do not hang out with people who have an alcoholic beverage as part of their name. This means that people named Lindsay Bacardi, Ashley Goldschlager or Tila Tequila are off-limits.

Best Bench

And finally we have our Best Bench award for Week 1. Remarkably, everyone did a good job of having really good line-ups in the game, and did not leave many points on the bench. But the winner this week is Sofa King Good!! James could have improved his point total by a respectable 36 points with 3 roster moves – S. Holmes for L. Moore (16 pts), D. Ward for R. Bush (10 pts) and Cardinals for Cowboys (10 pts).