Week 3 Roundup

Congratulations sprouts! Russ held off a late charge by Frito Pie to take the Weekly High Score prize by three points for Week 3. Russ got big games from MJD and Matt Schaub to make up for T.O.’s shut-out and logged 109 points! Nicely done!! It was the lowest week so far this year in terms of total points with only 773 points scored, but is still way ahead of the lowest week ever (Week 16 of 2007) when only 644 total points were scored.

The games this week were a classic example of how much luck plays a factor in determining final standings. Tailgate Approved outscored 7 teams on Sunday yet lost. The Midnight Maulers outscored 1 team and won. Not only that, my Scottish Rebels are now 2-1, even though I have been outscored by 29 points (219 pts for vs. 248 pts against). And both Joe’s Pats and the Coors Light Drunk Guys have outscored their opponents (by 12 pts and 11 pts, respectively), yet they are both 1-2. It’s like they say: “That’s why you play the games.”

So this week, I give my belated “What Do You Know?! Bowl” update, check in on defenses, and get back into some good ol’ political ranting! Also, now that we are three weeks into the season, it is time to dole out early-season keeper grades. More on that below. But first, some observations…

That’s How You Play Football!!

Peyton Manning, QB – Frito Pie – 32 pts – Peyton made the Cardinals look like they were the Cardinals.

Maurice Jones-Drew, RB – sprouts – 31 pts – Jones-Drew finally showed why he was such a hot commodity this offseason and netted 3 touchdowns to go along with 147 total yards.

Aaron Rodgers, QB – American BadAss – 27 pts – He scored all those points on only 13 completions!

Santana Moss, WR – sprouts – 26 pts – Quite a big improvement from the 0.5 points per game he was averaging coming in to this game.

Pierre Thomas, RB – SOFA KING GOOD – 24 pts – Do it for 60 minutes next time!! Thomas rattled off 126 yards and 2 touchdowns this week, all in the second half!

Dallas, D – SOFA KING GOOD – 23 pts – From the lowest scoring defense to the highest scoring in the span of a week. Its amazing what an inferior opponent will do for you.

And not really…

Darren McFadden, RB – Midnight Maulers – 2 pts – When teams don’t respect the quarterback’s ability to throw the ball, it makes it easier to stop the run. And stop it they did.

Roddy White, WR – SOFA KING GOOD – 2 pts – Through three weeks, White only has 1 touchdown.

Kellen Winslow, TE – SOFA KING GOOD – 1 pt – Tampa had no offense against the Giants. Literally. Like 86 yards for the whole offense. For the whole game. All four quarters. 86 yards.

Tony Gonzales, TE – Lords of Lumberg – 1 pt – After two weeks of stellar performances, we were bound to see a dip in Tony’s production. Although, I didn’t think we’d see it dip this far.

Terrell Owens, WR – sprouts – 0 pts – In case you didn’t see the press conference that NBC showed 4 times and ESPN showed 13 times, T.O. went without a catch for the first time since 1996.

What the Hell is Going on With GEICO?

I just don’t get those GEICO commercials with the stack of money and the plastic eye balls. Okay, let me rephrase—I’m not an idiot…I understand the point that they are trying to get across. I think.

But why does the stack of money have eyes on it? And why does the dude in the diner cover it with a cake dome? And how does it send a text message? Or throw a basketball? And why the creepy music? I don’t get it…

Defense Update

Philadelphia had an unprecedented week in Week 1 where their defense scored an unheard-of-for-a-fantasy-defense 42 points. My prediction has been that it will take the lowest scoring defense until at least Week 5 to score that many total points. So far only seven teams have scored 42 points or more.

Last week, Dallas was the cellar dweller having only scored 6 points. But they had a huge game against Carolina, and now rank 21^st with a total of 29 points scored. The new bottom feeder team is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who after three weeks have only posted 15 points. As a team, the Bucs have all of 3 sacks, 1 interception, 1 fumble recovery and have given up a whopping 85 points! At this rate, it will be a while before Tampa breaks the 42-point barrier…if at all.

Keeper Grades

Every team in the NFL has played three games, so with bye weeks starting next week, I thought it would be a good time to hand out early season keeper grades. Looking at the overall list of the 20 keepers, here are a couple surprising items:

>Three of the top 5 keepers are quarterbacks (P. Manning, D. Brees and A. Rodgers)

>Matt Forte is not the bottom ranked keeper.

>LaDainian Tomlinson is the bottom ranked keeper. (But to be fair, he has been injured).

On to the team grades (listed alphabetically):

American BadAss – Aaron Rodgers (QB, 58 pts) and DeAngelo Williams (RB, 34 pts).

Grade: A-

Note: Impressive feat from Williams to score 34 points in spite of being on the Panthers.

Coors Light Drunk Guys – Drew Brees (QB, 65 pts) and Reggie Wayne (WR, 46 pts).

Grade: A

Note: Kudos for keeping R. Wayne, as he is the 2^nd ranked wide receiver.

Frito Pie – Peyton Manning (QB, 66 pts) and Brian Westbrook (RB, 18 pts).

Grade: B

Note: Wise choice to draft LeSean McCoy as Westbrook’s injury-proneness appears to be back.

Joe’s Pats – Tom Brady (QB, 45 pts) and Randy Moss (WR, 27 pts).

Grade: C

Note: Pretty disappointing start for Moss, as he has yet to score a touchdown.

Lords of Lumberg – Adrian Peterson (RB, 64pts) and Steve Slaton (RB, 17 pts).

Grade: B

Note: AP is LT of three years ago, while Slaton is another one of the non-TD scoring keepers.

Midnight Maulers – Frank Gore (RB, 54 pts) and LaDainian Tomlinson (RB, 9 pts).

Grade: D

Note: That is just really bad luck to have both keepers suffer injuries. Ouch.

Scottish Rebels – Michael Turner (RB, 29 pts) and Matt Forte (RB, 20 pts).

Grade: F

Note: Nothing but utter disappointment from these two gentlemen.

SOFA KING GOOD – Anquan Boldin (WR, 21 pts) and Roddy White (WR, 17 pts).

Grade: F

Note: It was a risky choice to keep two wide receivers, and so far it has been exactly what you would expect with two wide receivers as your keepers.

Sprouts – Chris Johnson (RB, 63 pts) and Maurice Jones-Drew (RB, 55pts)

Grade: C

Note: This would have been an A+ grade, but 48 of Chris Johnson’s points came with him sitting on the bench.

Tailgate Approved – Steven Jackson (RB, 30 pts) and Larry Fitzgerald (WR, 29 pts)

Grade: D

Note: Jackson has nearly 350 total yards but no touchdowns, and Fitzgerald has 2 touchdowns but only 181 yards.

“Accidentally on Purpose”

That is the name of an actual CBS television show. I only wish I was kidding.

Is it 1969 or 2009?

Here is a recipe to create an uncomfortable television moment: Take a Sunday Night Football halftime show, add one part Bob Costas, one part Jim Schwartz (the Lions’ Head Coach) live via satellite, put a 3-second delay between them, then try to fill a 3 minute interview. Anyone who saw this debacle will know exactly what I’m talking about. For those who missed it, just imagine an interview with an awkward pause every 10 seconds, followed by two guys talking over each other, followed by another awkward pause, followed by nervous laughter. It really was painful to watch.

But this raises a bigger question – Do we not possess the technology in this day and age to be able to have one dude interview another dude in a different location and have the two dudes hear each other in real time? I mean Neil Armstrong’s connection to Mission Control was better than what these guys had going!

What Do You Know?! Bowl Update

Part 1 of the most bitter Sacred Sundays rivalry went down last week as Shawn’s Coors Light Drunk Guys took on Jens’ Tailgate Approved. Jens took the victory this time by a commanding 20 points (98-78), and thus holds the bragging rights until their second meeting which will occur in Week 13. A triumphant Bolleyer remarked, “Seriously, I hope to outscore Shawn every week, even when we’re not playing. As long as I do that, I consider it a victory.”

For those who are unfamiliar with the origins of the “What Do You Know?! Bowl” here is a brief history... I’m not exactly sure when it started, but for reasons unbeknownst to anyone, Jens would yell “What do you know?” at Shawn for no reason. Then, for reasons unbeknownst to anyone, Shawn would get really pissed off. That made it go from kind of annoying to really hilarious. So from that point forward, all you had to do to piss Shawn off would be to yell “WHAT DO YOU KNOW?” in a loud and slightly German accent. Creating the “What Do You Know?! Bowl” just seemed like the next logical step.

Note: The second meeting between these two occurs in Week 13 which just happens to be the last week of the regular season for Fantasy. I can only hope that there are playoff implications in that one…

Political Rant

The Baucus Bill

It’s back to healthcare this week…The Baucus bill is the Healthcare Reform proposal that has been put forward by Senator Max Baucus (D-MT). This bill is so incredibly flawed that it is laughable. Oh, where to begin?

First off, this bill is projected to cost $856 billion dollars over the next 10 years. Eight hundred and fifty-six BILLION DOLLARS! As I’ve mentioned before, the government is always wrong when it comes to budgeting, so expect this bill to cost many, many trillions of dollars when all is said and done.

Passage of this bill would REQUIRE everyone in the country to purchase health insurance. Those that don’t purchase insurance would be subject to a fine of up to $3,800 (paid at tax time). Do they really think that this will cause everyone to purchase insurance? Auto insurance is already mandated yet it is estimated approximately 15% of drivers are uninsured. (Although, I would up that number to about 34% in New Mexico.)

Another provision in the plan would add an extra tax on high-value insurance plans (so-called “Cadillac” insurance plans). So on one hand, they are penalizing people for not buying insurance, and on the other hand they are penalizing people for buying too much insurance. Seriously, only the government can come up with these things.

But this part of the plan is only a gimmick to make it look like it will cost less than it truly will. Baucus himself admits that only a small minority of workers in the country actually have these types of plans. How many of this “small minority” do you think will keep their Cadillac plans and pay all of the extra associated taxes? My prediction: not many. That will virtually eliminate any additional revenue they hoped to gain.

My last problem with the Baucus bill is that it would institute insurance market reforms, such as prohibiting higher premiums for women and denying coverage to sick people. So basically they want to create insurance plans that don’t exist in the real world. It’s as if these politicians do not even have the most rudimentary understanding of how the insurance industry works. When an individual seeks to buy insurance, the insurance company performs a risk assessment to gauge how likely it is that the person will get sick and file a claim. Those individuals that are deemed more risky have to pay higher premiums than those deemed less risky. That’s just the way that insurance works. (In the case of women, they can be considered more risky than men because of this little thing known as pregnancy.) If the government is able to say who can get coverage and is able to dictate what price those people will pay, then that is the end of the health insurance industry. That is not health insurance. That is socialism.

Best Bench

It was a two-man race for the Best Bench this week between the Hand boys. James came SOFA KING CLOSE to taking it with a 37-point improvement from his bench, but the victory this week goes to the older brother, Timmy’s Lords of Lumberg! He could have improved his point total by 39 points with four roster moves: Titans D for –bench—(11 pts), K. Walter for D. Bowe (16 pts), P. Harvin for C. Ochocinco (9 pts) and R. Rice for A. Peterson (3 pts).

Week 4 – Bye weeks begin! Make sure you have your rosters set!!

Week 2 - Maulers Dominate!

For two weeks in a row now, the Monday night game has proved to be a major factor in fantasy. Frito Pie trailed SOFA KING GOOD by 35 points going into Monday night’s game with only Peyton Manning and Dallas Clark to play. Despite Indianapolis only having the ball for 14:53 and only running 35 offensive plays, Manning and Clark managed to score 47 points between them, largely due to an 80-yard touchdown strike on the game’s first play. So Rachel has improved her record to 1-1 along with four other teams with that same record. Amazingly after two weeks of play, there is only one team at 2-0--the Lords of Lumberg!

Congratulations this week belong to Jamie George and the Midnight Maulers for posting the high score of 111 points! Apparently Frank Gore was alerted to the fact that Jamie was without LT this week, so he decided to really step it up and dropped 38 points. Also, Jamie did a great job of managing his bench this week, as he could only have improved his point total by 3 points by swapping his defenses. Good job Jamie!!

So this week I examine whether being the first movie of the summer is really anything to brag about, I take a look to see how defenses are doing, and I reveal the greatest bench in the history of Sacred Sundays! But first, some quick observations…

Nice!

Chris Johnson, RB – sprouts – 48 pts – It looked like a professional player running through a high school defense. For those who didn’t see it – 197 rushing yards, 87 receiving yards, and 3 TD’s. Here’s the most amazing part. On the Player list, it shows that Chris Johnson is owned in 99% of Yahoo! leagues. Seriously, I want to be in the league where this guy is a free agent.

Frank Gore, RB – Midnight Maulers – 38 pts – 80 yards one way and 79 yards the other way. Those were Gore’s two touchdown runs on the day.

Matt Schaub, QB – sprouts – 33 pts – So much for Tennessee’s vaunted defense… Schaub shredded them for 357 yards and 4 touchdowns!

Dallas Clark, TE – Frito Pie – 27 pts – Clark accounted for 51% of the Colts total offensive production for the night!

Andre Johnson, WR – Tailgate Approved – 26 pts – Finally living up to his first pick status, Johnson went wild on Tennessee with 149 yards and 2 TD’s.

Philip Rivers, QB – SOFA KING GOOD – 25 pts – Career game for Rivers as he passed for 436 yards on 45 attempts.

Mario Manningham, WR – Free Agent – 24 pts – Expect this guy to be the hottest waiver wire pick up this week as he is only owned in 39% of leagues, yet leads ALL wide receivers in scoring. Side note: There have been cool sports name connections in the past (Stockton-to-Malone, Montana-to-Rice, Keys-to-Channing, Aikman-to-Irvin), but I can’t decide if Manning-to-Manningham is cool or gay.

Crappy Day to be a Wide Receiver…. or Named Pierre

Randy Moss, WR – Joe’s Pats – 2 pts – Here is something I never would’ve expected to write – The Jets defense really shut down the Patriots. Scary…

Santana Moss, WR – sprouts – 1 pt – I can’t say that I watched this game (STL @ WSH), and obviously there were no Santana Moss highlights from the game, so I don’t have any first hand knowledge, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that he sucked pretty hard in this one.

Roy Williams, WR – Scottish Rebels – 1 pt – The ginormous video screen at Cowboy Stadium must’ve been blocking Romo’s vision, because he never found Williams.

Greg Jennings, WR – Scottish Rebels – 0 pts – There were 98 wide receivers that outscored Jennings this week, along with 40 tight ends. I could’ve played Keenan Burton and at least scored 3 points. (Kudos to anyone who knows what team Keenan Burton plays for.)

Pierre Thomas, RB – SOFA KING GOOD – 0 pts – Actually, isn’t every day a pretty bad day to be named Pierre?

Defense Watch

Philadelphia had an unbelievable week last week against Carolina, where they logged an unprecedented 43 points. At the time, I made a comment that I figured there would be defenses that don’t score that many combined points for at least the next 5 weeks. So, I’m going to track this stat going forward to see how long it takes the lowest scoring defense in Fantasy to post 44 points.

As of now, only one team has scored more than 43 combined points, and that is Philadelphia. Arizona and Denver are close (with 37 and 36 points respectively). Dallas has posted a dismal 6 points through two weeks, so right now they look like the team to watch! Dallas, by the way, is the only team in the NFL that has yet to post a sack or a defensive turnover.

Interesting note – The top 2 defenses selected in our draft (Baltimore and Pittsburgh) are tied for 24^th place, each having only posted 18 total points.

Wolverine – "The first" blockbuster of the summer

The tag line for the Wolverine advertisements is “Now you can own the first blockbuster of the summer!!” This has just made me chuckle. First off, this movie was released on May 1, 2009, so technically it wasn’t even a summer release. Secondly, when has the “first” release of anything been the best? You don’t hear Apple advertising, “Come buy the first generation iPod! It’s bigger than a graphing calculator!!” No…the first release of anything always sucks!

The only reason to advertise a movie as “The First” is if that really is the best thing that it has to offer. And in Wolverine’s case, that is really not far off the mark…

Best Bench

This was truly an achievement of epic proportions! The bench players on sprouts this week were the greatest bench players in the history of Sacred Sundays. To give you an idea just how good sprouts’ bench was this week, you could make a team from only those seven players that would have beaten Jamie’s high score for the week by 14 points. And that would be with only using 5 players!!!

Here is what that roster would look like:

QB: Matt Schaub-33 pts

WR: Donald Driver-15 pts

WR: Devery Henderson-7pts

RB: Chris Johnson-48 pts

RB: Darren Sproles-22 pts

TE: -empty-

K: - empty-

DEF: -empty-

TOTAL: 125 pts

So Russ takes the title this week for best bench, as he could have more than doubled his score and improved by 89 POINTS with four roster moves. C. Johnson for C. Portis (41 pts), M. Schaub for B. Favre (19 pts), D. Sproles for M. Jones-Drew (15 pts) and D. Driver for S. Moss (14 pts).

Two weeks down, and still a lot of football to go!! Get those rosters ready for Week 3! BTW – In case you hadn’t already looked it up – Keenan Burton plays for the St. Louis Rams…

F'n'A Right!!

I am proud to say that I have finally moved into the 21^st century and just enjoyed my first football weekend in high definition. Let me just say that it was awe-inspiring! Here are a couple high definition observations:

-Watching injuries in super slo-mo is extra painful;

-Robert Gallery has way too many tattoos;

-Cris Collinsworth is older than I thought;

and

-FOOTBALL RULES!!

Now that that’s out of the way, let me say congratulations to Shawn and his Coors Light Drunk Guys for nearly doubling sprout’s total, and putting up an impressive 129 points to blow away everyone this week!! Shawn was a genius on his keepers, as those two players (Brees & Wayne) accounted for 64 of his points…way to go Shawn!! Meanwhile in our other games, Joe’s Pats overcame a 25-point deficit on Monday to beat James, Timmy put the smack down on Mojo, Jamie and Jason couldn’t decide who should win so they just decided to tie, and I very nearly relegated myself to sleeping on the couch after defeating Frito Pie. Good stuff!!

So this week we’ll get all geared up for Round 1 of the “What Do You Know?! Bowl” (for which I have found the theme song) between Jens and Shawn, we’ll take a look at player’s draft positions to see who got the best value, and I'll laugh at Shawn Merriman for being such an idiot. But first, some observations…

Big Time

-Eagles, DEF – Midnight Maulers – 43 pts – This was as dominating of a defensive performance that I have ever seen in Fantasy. Here’s a rundown of the final numbers: 5 interceptions, 2 fumble recoveries, 5 quarterback sacks, 1 defensive touchdown and 10 points allowed. To top it off, they only gave up 151 yards… outstanding…

-Adrian Peterson, RB – Lords of Lumberg – 40 pts – It felt like I was watching Timmy play NFL Blitz the way that AP dominated the Browns on Sunday. (Seriously, have you ever seen an actual running back literally throw defenders out of his way like that? Normally to do something like that you need to have a full boost bar and a couple cheat codes in effect.) In all seriousness, Peterson could realistically score 80 points in his next game because the Vikings take on the Lions in Week 2…

-Drew Brees, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 39 pts – You know it’s a crazy week when a guy scores 39 points, and is only the third highest scorer! But don’t let this detract from what Brees accomplished – 6 passing touchdowns and 358 yards!

-Tony Romo, QB – Scottish Rebels – 29 pts – So how do you replace the production of T.O.? How about 353 yards and 3 touchdowns? Yeah, that should just about do it…

-Reggie Wayne, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 25 pts – Peyton obviously didn’t feel too uncomfortable being without Marvin Harrison for the first time. Wayne had 10 catches for 162 yards and a touchdown.

-Joe Flacco, QB – Lords of Lumberg – 23 pts – Flacco is probably the most exciting thing to come out of Delaware, since well, uh, ever.

-Thomas Jones, RB – Frito Pie – 22 pts – Jones was held to only 1 yard in the first half, but added an additional 106 in the second half.

-John Carlson, TE – American BadAss – 21 pts – I give you your top tight end after Week 1. Carlson had 95 yards and 2 touchdowns, which is exactly 90 yards and 2 touchdowns more than I would have expected from this guy.

Hmm, not so much

-Steve Slaton, RB – Lords of Lumberg – 2 pts – Not exactly the kind of output you would expect from a guy who was taken on average with the 18^th pick in fantasy drafts.

-Braylon Edwards, WR – American BadAss – 1 pt – Looks like it was one of those days where Braylon didn’t feel like playing.

-Eddie Royal, WR – sprouts – 1 pt – Denver looks to be in disarray and needed a miracle final play to beat the Bengals.

-Knowshon Moreno, RB – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – Denver looks to be in disarray and needed a miracle final play to beat the Bengals.

-Kris Brown, K – Frito Pie – 1 pt – Houston was thought to have a potent offense this year, but they only managed one touchdown and never gave Brown a chance for a field goal.

-Josh Brown, K – Scottish Rebels – 0 pts – Bad week for kickers named Brown.

-Greg Olsen, TE – Midnight Maulers – 0 pts – Unless your name is Earl Bennett, Jay Cutler probably isn’t going to look your direction when throwing a pass.

What Do You Know?! Bowl – Round 1

The trash talking has already begun, and now for the first time I have found the theme song for this game…

Puscifer – “The Mission”

Listen to it here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XoGcSw565U).

Btw-Jens, there might be a lawsuit possibility here because they use your catch phrase about 600 times during this song…

Draft Position vs. Points Scored

So I wanted to take a look to see how players stacked up this week based on how they were drafted in our league. For this analysis, I excluded all keepers (my keeper analysis will probably come after Week 3 or 4), so this is only based on players that were available for our draft. Also, I only looked at players that were active. Players were ranked in three categories: Good, Bad and Ugly.

Good Value

-Joe Flacco, QB – Picked Overall = 97^th, Picked by Position = 15^th / Performed Overall = 6^th, Performed Position = 4^th. Points Scored = 23.

-John Carlson, TE – Picked Overall = 90^th, Picked by Position = 7^th / Performed Overall = 8^th, Performed Position = 1^st. Points Scored = 21.

-Minnesota, D – Picked Overall = 90^th, Picked by Position = 7^th / Performed Overall = 16^th, Performed Position = 4^th. Points Scored = 18.

Bad Value

-T.J. Houshmanzadeh, WR - Picked Overall = 14^th, Picked by Position = 7^th / Performed Overall = 130^th, Performed Position = 42^nd. Points Scored = 4.

-Terrell Owens, WR - Picked Overall = 15^th, Picked by Position = 8^th / Performed Overall = 130^th, Performed Position = 42^nd. Points Scored = 4.

-Ronnie Brown, RB - Picked Overall = 3^rd, Picked by Position= 1^st / Performed Overall = 124^th, Performed Position = 38^th. Points Scored = 5.

Ugly Value

-Andre Johnson, WR – Picked Overall = 1^st, Picked by Position= 1^st / Performed Overall = 127^th, Performed Position = 53^rd. Points Scored = 3.

-Steve Smith, WR - Picked Overall = 7^th, Picked by Position= 4^th / Performed Overall = 163^rd, Performed Position = 58^th. Points Scored = 2.

-Greg Olsen, TE - Picked Overall = 34^th, Pick Position = 4^th / Performed Overall = 240^th, Performed Position = 38^th. Points Scored = 0.

Best Overall Value

-Philadelphia, D – Picked Overall = 67^th, Picked Position = 5^th / Performed Overall = 1^st, Performed Position = 1^st.

Political Rant

While the Healthcare debate has been raging on, another bill that is equally troubling has been slowing sneaking its way through the House and is now up for a Senate vote. This bill is the Waxman-Markey Bill [authored by Henry Waxman (D-California) and Edward Markey (D-Massachusetts)], which is more commonly referred to as the “Cap and Trade Bill”.

In a nutshell, here is what “Cap and Trade” is all about. The government would begin requiring the reduction of the amount of carbon emitted by companies. (Specifically it requires a 17% emissions reduction by 2020, and an 80% reduction by 2050). Companies that emit carbon dioxide (basically all companies) will be granted a certain number of “carbon credits” which will offset the amount of CO2 they emit. As the requirements become more stringent, companies will either have to reduce their carbon emissions or they can purchase additional credits. Additional credits can be purchased from competing companies that are below the emission thresholds or directly from the government. So it places a “cap” on carbon emissions and forces companies to “trade” carbon credits. The goal of this plan is to reduce the amount of carbon being emitted to stop global warming. Sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it? Well, here are some major problems with this bill…

First off, carbon dioxide is not even considered a pollutant. Even the EPA (which is in support of the Waxman-Markey Bill), does not consider CO2 a pollutant. The threat, they say, is only from an increased concentration of CO2, which they warn can lead to increasing the effects of global warming.

So just how much of an effect does CO2 have on global warming? Well, water vapor is by far the greatest contributor to the greenhouse effect, accounting for about 95% of the total amount of greenhouse gas present in the atmosphere. Carbon dioxide essentially makes up the remaining 5% (excluding minor greenhouse gases which account for less than 1% of the total). And of that 5%, how much is caused by human’s activities? Only about 3.2 percent. Now do not misinterpret this number…the human contribution of CO2 is only 3.2% of the total carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, which only accounts for 5% of the total greenhouse gas in our atmosphere. So this means that as an overall impact, the amount of CO2 emitted into the atmosphere by humans accounts for less than 0.2% of all greenhouse gases! Even if CO2 output by humans were to double, that would only cause an increase of 0.4% in greenhouse gases! That is less than half a percentage point!!

(In case you are wondering, the largest source of CO2 emissions is plant and animal decay where microorganisms break down dead material and release CO2 as part of the process. Other large natural contributors are volcanoes and forest fires.)

This Waxman-Markey bill is a horrible idea because it will put United States companies at a competitive disadvantage over their global counterparts. China and India (#2 and #3 on the list of CO2 contributors) have already come out and said that they will not support any cap and trade regulations. They understand that imposing something like this will cost billions of dollars for virtually no benefit to the environment. So what will happen to American companies? It will either drive them out of business or force them overseas. The companies that do elect to stay in the U.S. will have to pass on much higher costs to consumers, which brings me to my next point.

The Waxman-Markey bill will lead to a decreased standard of living in the United States. The industry that will be hit hardest by this bill is energy. If this bill goes into effect, expect the costs for energy to skyrocket. The CBO (Congressional Budget Office) has estimated that by 2020, when carbon emissions must be cut by 17%, it will cost average American households an extra $1,600/year ($133/mo). (However, The Wall Street Journal has accused the CBO of significantly underestimating its ultimate costs, pointing out flaws in its calculations. The Wall Street Journal also suggested that the bill's costs would disproportionately affect lower-income households, for which the CBO estimates did not account.)

The standard of living that we enjoy in the United States is largely due to the energy we consume. If energy becomes more expensive, consumers will be forced to either pay more or use less. This is nothing more than government mandated conservation that will put an unbelievable burden on our economy. The Competitive Enterprise Institute argued that the bill was essentially the "largest tax hike in world history".

So let’s just stop all of this insanity over carbon dioxide, and controlling emissions, and put an end to the Cap and Trade nonsense.

Waiver Clarification

All players that are free agents will be placed on waivers at the start of the first game for the week. This means that going forward, if there is a Thursday night game, ALL free agents will be on waivers once that game starts. Waiver claims will be processed first thing Wednesday morning. The waiver order will reset each week and will be the inverse of current standings.

Shawn Merriman is an idiot

Here’s a new rule for athletes to: Do not hang out with people who have an alcoholic beverage as part of their name. This means that people named Lindsay Bacardi, Ashley Goldschlager or Tila Tequila are off-limits.

Best Bench

And finally we have our Best Bench award for Week 1. Remarkably, everyone did a good job of having really good line-ups in the game, and did not leave many points on the bench. But the winner this week is Sofa King Good!! James could have improved his point total by a respectable 36 points with 3 roster moves – S. Holmes for L. Moore (16 pts), D. Ward for R. Bush (10 pts) and Cardinals for Cowboys (10 pts).

It is so close I can almost taste it! We now stand only a week away from the start of the regular season!

As you may or may not have noticed, the new site does not allow for the posting of articles on the website itself. So I will continue my weekly write-ups here on this blog. Whenever the latest posting is available, I will post a note on the “Commissioner’s Note” section. In this week’s write-up I rank the teams in a totally unbiased fashion, speculate on how much James loves his team, and start a new feature—my “Political Rant”.


That doesn’t make any sense… just like the real NFL
You may notice that I have renamed the two Divisions to “North” & “South”. (Previously known as “Division 1” and “Division 2”.) I considered re-aligning the division members based on where everyone lives, but that would make our league completely unlike the real NFL. I mean seriously, the Dallas Cowboys in the NFC East?! The Indianapolis Colts in the AFC South?!? Indianapolis is further north than Cincinnati!
So division members will stay as is…


Pre-Season Preview
A different approach was used for my pre-season evaluation of the teams this year. In years past, I simply looked over everybody’s roster and rated the team based on whatever gut-check feeling I had about the players. Obviously this is a highly un-scientific method for evaluating the teams.

So here is what I came up with… The Yahoo site lists the average draft position for all of the players drafted in Yahoo leagues so far this year. (Adrian Peterson’s average position is 1.2, Kurt Warner’s is 34.8, Lee Evans is 60.8, and so on. This gives a sort-of general consensus for how good each player is.) I went through each team’s roster and totaled up the average positions for the starting quarterback, both starting runningbacks and both starting wide receivers. (Tight ends and Kickers were excluded because they can be such a crap shoot, and Defenses were excluded because typically there is not a lot of difference in the Top 10 Defenses). So, in theory, the teams with the lowest overall score should have the best players by general consensus.

Now, without further adieu, here is how the teams stack up:

#10 – Joe’s Pats – Overall score = 219.6
Joe has a lethal combination with Tom Brady and Randy Moss, but gets hurt in the overall score with Larry Johnson (avg. pick 83.9) as one of his starting RB’s.

#9 – Lords of Lumberg – Overall score = 208.6
Timmy dominates in the runningback category with AP and Steve Slaton (avg picks 1.2 & 18.8 respectively) but gains a lot of points with Matt Cassel (avg. pick 101.5) as his starting quarterback.

#8 – ANTI-ALIEN – Overall score = 199.4
James did well to get Brandon Jacobs with his first pick (avg. pick 13.5), but apparently people don’t like Roddy White all that much (avg. pick 83.9)

#7 – American Bad-Ass – Overall score = 183.3
Perhaps our defending champ is trying to give everyone else a chance this year?

#6 – Coors Light Drunk Guys – Overall score = 181.8
Shawn’s lowest ranked player is Joseph Addai (avg. pick 71.3), but I have to expect that he will perform better than that ranking would indicate.

#5 – sprouts – Overall score = 174.9
If Matt Schaub (avg. pick 68.1) can stay healthy for a full season, and Santana Moss (avg. pick 55.5) can step it up this year, sprouts could very well be the team to beat.

#4 – Frito Pie – Overall score = 141.2
The Peyton Manning/Dallas Clark connection will be interesting to watch this year, but the bigger story for Rachel will be the Brandon Marshall saga.

#3 – Midnight Maulers – Overall score = 131.6
Once again Jamie has put together a team that you don’t want to have to play against. His lowest ranked player is Donovan McNabb whose average pick is only 47.6.

#2 – Mojo – Overall score = 118.4
Jens managed to snag the top two wide receivers in the game (Fitzgerald, avg. pick 8.0, and A. Johnson, avg. pick 16.3), and he has a deadly combo with the Warner/Fitzgerald connection.

#1 – Scottish Rebels – Overall score = 109.2
When my two runningbacks have average picks in the Top 6 (Turner = 2.5 and Forte = 5.1), it is easy to keep the overall score low. Watch out for the Rebels this year!!


Could it be that James is actually happy with his team?
By this time last season, I had easily already received 17 trade offers from the Captain. But so far this year, nada… So that has brought me to 1 of 2 conclusions – either James is remarkably pleased with his team and doesn’t feel he needs to change anything, or his internet connection is down. My hunch is the latter….


Political Rant
I simply cannot understand how people believe that having the government take over our healthcare will somehow control the costs. The government is ALWAYS wrong when it comes to fiscal matters. Here are some examples:

Cash for Clunkers – This program was initially funded with $1 billion, and was expected to run through November 1st when it kicked off on July 24th. By July 30th (not even a full week into it), the program was out of money, and Congress had to inject another $2 billion to keep it afloat until it was officially scrapped on August 24th. Final tally = TRIPLE the spending in only 5 weeks of a 10 week program.

Medicare – The costs of Medicare doubled every four years between 1966 and 1980. When it was signed into law in 1966 by Lyndon Johnson, it cost $3 billion. At that time, the House Ways & Means committee estimated that it would cost about $12 billion by 1990 (a figure that included an allowance for inflation). But by 1990 Medicare actually cost $107 BILLION!! This represents an increase of 3466.67% from the initial cost, and a 791.67% increase from the original projections.

Estimates for the current bill being proposed is that it will cost $1 trillion in 10 years. ONE TRILLION DOLLARS!!! If they are already estimating those kinds of numbers, imagine what the actual amount will be… can anyone say quadrillion?

Also, the bill being proposed is referred to as “healthcare reform”. But there is no reform actually being proposed. All that’s being proposed is to have the government pick up the tab. How is that reform?!? If you want to reform health insurance, here is a plan to do that without costing taxpayers any money:

1. Remove government mandates on insurance companies that require a specific % of plans offered to cover certain services that are rarely used (ex. Alcohol & drug treatment programs). These services are very costly to provide for insurance companies, and end up jacking up the premiums for everyone. Additionally, the government needs to allow insurance companies to do business and compete at a national level, not only at a state level.

2. Allow everyone to have access to and take advantage of Health Savings Accounts (HSA’s) and allow insurance premiums to be paid from an HSA. HSA's allow you to contribute pre-tax dollars to a bank account that is used solely for medical expenses. It is a great way for individuals and families to be able to plan for and pay for medical services.

3. Work to change people’s perception of what health insurance should be. Health insurance should be more like car insurance, where it only kicks in on big expenses and doesn’t cover small expenses (like normal trips to the doctor.) Just like how your insurance company doesn’t pay for it when you get an oil change, your insurance company shouldn’t pay for a simple trip to the doctor for a stuffy nose. That should be paid by the patient, with money from their HSA account (see point #2). This will help to lower overall costs because High Deductible Health Plans (which provide catastrophic coverage) are much cheaper to administer and maintain for insurance companies. Thus the insurance companies will be able to offer significantly lower premiums.

Healthcare reform is something that can benefit a lot of people and is something that we as a country should work toward. But we need a real solution and real reform. Socialized medicine is not it…


Take THAT! Tom Brady…
Matt Cassel must be sick of comparisons to Tom Brady. So just to show that he’s nothing like him, he gets injured in the preseason instead of the regular season. BURN!! See, he’s nothing like Tom Brady…


Okay, so I think the last thing that I need to know is:
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!?!?!??!