American BadAss dominates Week 12

Only one team was able to cross the triple digit threshold this week.  Heck, only one team scored over 87 points this week!  With a dominating score of 118, and taking home a second Weekly High Score Prize this season, Week 12 goes to American BadAss!  After the 118 points, the next closest score was two teams with 87 (Attack of Mahomes and Young Guns).  The 31-point gap between the top two scores is the largest (by far) we have seen all season.  ABA was led by Joe Mixon with 31 points and Dak Prescott with 28, but also had solid games from the Cincinnati defense (19 pts) and Stefon Diggs and Justin Tucker both adding 13.  American BadAss is now the second team to win multiple High Score prizes, having last won back in Week 6.  (Oddly enough, the 2nd largest gap between the top two scores was back in Week 6, when Jason won his first prize.)  Nice work bro!

Five playoff teams are now known, with 3 teams still vying for the 6th and final playoff spot.  Playoff seedings are still TBD, especially in the South division.  American BadAss has been tops in the South since Week 7, but still needs a win in Week 13 to secure the top seed.  (Or a loss paired with losses by sprouts and Young Guns will also secure the top spot.)  But if American BadAss loses and just sprouts wins, thus making both finish at 8-5, sprouts takes the tie-breaker due to the head-to-head record (both would have the same divisional record, 3-3, but sprouts’ won both head-to-head matchups).  If American BadAss loses and just Young Guns wins to make both finish at 8-5, Young Guns takes the tie-breaker with the better divisional record (4-2 vs. 3-3).  If American BadAss loses and both sprouts and Young Guns win, thus causing 3 teams to be tied at 8-5, Young Guns would take the top spot with the better divisional record (4-2 vs. 3-3 vs. 3-3), sprouts would finish second (based on the aforementioned head-to-head record) and American BadAss would finish 3rd and take the first wildcard spot.

In the North Division, the Scottish Rebels have the top spot secured.  Joe’s Pats can tie for best record (8-5), but the Rebels' division record is better (6-0 vs. 4-2).  The intrigue really centers around the game between Joe’s Pats and the Coors Light Drunk Guys.  If the Drunk Guys win, they will secure a wild card finish and tie Joe’s Pats for 2nd best record.  (Joe’s Pats will take the 2nd seed due to a better divisional record).  If Joe’s Pats wins the game, and Attack of Mahomes and Vandelay Industries all win, three teams could end up tied at 6-7 for the final wild card spot.  In that scenario, all three of those teams (Coors Light Drunk Guys, Attack of Mahomes, and Vandelay Industries) all have wins and losses over one another in head-to-head so it would likely come down to total points scored.  Through Week 12 those three teams are within 33 points of each other (Attack of Mahomes=1,060, Coors Light Drunk Guys=1,058, Vandelay Industries=1,027), so that could be tight!

Remember the tie-breakers for divisional standings are (in order): Overall Record, Divisional Record, Head-to-Head record, Points Scored, Coin Flip.  For wildcard it is: Overall Record, Head-to-Head Record, Points Scored, Coin Flip.  These are different than the tie-breakers Yahoo! uses, so I'll send out an update on Monday night confirming who makes it in and in what seeds.

BEST BENCH

Well it would appear the Best Bench is back to normal this week as there were quite a few points to be had.  Six teams had a bench improvement which would have won or tied either of the last two weeks.  Joe’s Pats had a solid total with a 27-point-improvement possibility, and sprouts did even better with a 36-point-improvement possibility.  But none were better than the back-to-back week champion, Big Sack No TD’s, with a 49-point-improvement possibility!  Jens took home the crown last week, with a single player swap, but this week needed 3 players to get there:  Miami for Carolina +22, C. Patterson for M. Pittman Jr. +19 and K. Cousins for R. Tannehill +8.  What.  Do.  You.  Know?!

Get those waivers in and get ready for Week 13!!!

Thrice is Nice!

This crazy and unpredictable season continues to deliver!  The scoring finally returned after a 3 week dip (946 total points scored with four teams scoring triple digits), and my Scottish Rebels barely edged sprouts by one point to claim the Week 11 Weekly High Score Prize, 122-121!  How my team did it is one of the oddest I’ve seen, as my scoring leader was my tight end, Zach Ertz, with 20 points, and my lowest scorer, Arizona Defense, had 11 points.  The rest of my players scored 18, 17, 15, 14, 14 and 13.  No outstanding performances, just solid all around production.  Sprouts was on the other end of the spectrum with an amazing 81% of his 121 points (99 points to be exact) came from just three players: Jonathan Taylor (52), Justin Jefferson (31) and Diontae Johnson (16).  This is a crazy season indeed!  The Week 11 High Score Prize marks my 3rd one for the season, and my Rebels are still the only team to claim multiple prizes so far this season.

The other games this week clarified the playoff picture a little bit… there is one team in for sure and one team out for sure but the other 8 teams are still alive and vying for a spot.  Much more on that below.  Plus this week we hand out a team’s first Best Bench in over a season and a half.  Let’s go!

BIG TIME

• Johnathan Taylor, RB – sprouts – 52 pts – Taylor had an absolute gem of a game, going for 185 yards and 4 TD’s on the ground, plus 19 yards and another TD receiving.  He joins an elite group of players who have surpassed 50 points in a single week.  Prior to this week, there were only six other players since 2007 to accomplish the feat, and this is the highest single week score since Derrick Henry had 50 back in Week 14, 2018.
• Justin Herbert, QB – Young Guns – 37 pts – Herbert had a great day, throwing for 382 yards, 3 TD’s and 1 interception, plus also ran 9 times for 90 yards!  Herbert now ranks as the 5th highest scoring QB in fantasy.
• Aaron Rodgers, QB – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 35 pts – The crotchety one is still getting it done, throwing for 385 yards and 4 TD’s, albeit in a losing effort against the Vikes.  This moves Rodgers to 9th place among QB’s in scoring this season.
• Austin Ekeler, RB – Joe’s Pats – 35 pts – What a night for Ekeler, racking up 4 total TD’s (2 on the ground, 2 through the air) and 115 total yards (50 rushing, 65 receiving).  
• Justin Jefferson, WR – sprouts – 31 pts – Jefferson was a monster on the field, gaining 169 yards plus two TD’s!  He should have had a 3rd TD, but was ruled down at the one.  
• Jalen Hurts, QB – Joe’s Pats – 29 pts – In the “I Didn’t See This One Coming” category, we have Jalen Hurts-#1 scorer in all of fantasy.  He has 242 points on the season, 2 more than Tom Brady.  (To be fair Tom has had his bye week and Hurts has not, but still.)

COME ON MAN!

• Brandin Cooks, WR – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – When you start a Houston wide receiver, you are really only hoping for 3 points, so actually this wasn’t that bad.
• Tyler Bass, K – Sofa King American – 1 pt – A lone extra point was all Bass had to offer this week.  Oof.
• Tee Higgins, WR – Young Guns – 1 pt – Bad day for Higgins, catching just 2 passes for only 15 yards.
• Younghoe Koo, K – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 0 pts – Falcons were shut out by New England, so Koo never even had a chance.
• Randy Bullock, K – sprouts – 0 pts – Made an extra point and missed an extra point.  Double oof.
• Buffalo, DEF – Young Guns – 0 pts – The Bills were absolutely worked by the Colts, giving up 41 points while recording only one defensive stat: a single 4th down stop.

PLAYOFFS? DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!

Only two weeks left of regular season play and nine teams are alive in the playoff picture.  The magic number for making it in for sure is 7, with three teams already at or above that number and another four teams capable of reaching that number.

Already Secured:

• Scottish Rebels – The top spot in the North Division has been secured by my Scottish Rebels with 8 wins. Joe’s Pats is the only team capable of also getting to 8 wins in the North Division, but the division record tie breaker would go in my favor.

In Control of Own Destiny:

• American BadAss – Win 1 game to assure a Top 2 spot in the South Division.
• sprouts – Win 1 game to assure a Top 2 spot in the South Division.
• Joe’s Pats – Win 1 game (especially the Week 13 showdown with Coors Light Drunk Guys)
• Young Guns – Win 1 game to qualify, or there’s even still a path to the top spot in the South with 2 wins plus 2 losses from American BadAss and 2 losses from sprouts.
• Coors Light Drunk Guys – Win final 2 games, or win 1 game and it will come down to tie-breakers.
• Vandelay Industries – Win final 2 games, or win 1 game and it will come down to tie-breakers.

Needing Some Help:

• Attack of Mahomes – Win final 2 games plus 2 losses from Coors Light Drunk Guys and two losses from Vandelay Industries and one loss from Sofa King American.  Would still probably come down to tie-breakers.
• Sofa King American – Win final 2 games plus 2 losses from Young Guns and two losses from Coors Light Drunk Guys and two losses from Vandelay Industries and 1 loss from Attack of Mahomes.  And again, it would probably come down to tie-breakers.

The Way Is Shut:

• Big Sack No TD’s – Unfortunately, there is no path to the playoffs.

With as tight as the standings are, there is a scenario which could play out where six teams finish with a record of 6-7, which would make for the most epic tie-breaking of all time.  Here is a reminder of the tie-breakers used in determining final regular season standings:

Divisional standing ranking
Overall record
Division record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip

Wildcard standing ranking/tiebreakers
Overall record
Head-to-head record
Points scored
Coin flip

Division record doesn’t matter for wildcards so both wildcard teams can come from the same division.  Also, the final standings of teams in 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th will be determined at the end of Week 13.

BEST BENCH

In 2019 the lowest Best Bench winning total was 30, while the average was 39.8.  Last season, the lowest total was 25 and the average was 38.6.  But this season prior to this week there were already five Best Bench winners with totals lower than 25.  And this week’s winner is another historic low at only a 17 point improvement possibility!  There were four teams this week with optimal line-ups… crazy!
But, there always has to be a winner, and for the first time since Week 4 of 2020, claiming his first Best Bench this season, Week 11 goes to… Big Sack No TD’s!  Jens needed to make just one roster change to get the 17 points – K. Cousins for R. Tannehill +17.

Get those waiver claims in and get ready for Week 12!  Happy Thanksgiving!
TURKEY!!!

On the Attack in Week 10!

This season truly is one for the ages!  The record for the most number of different teams to win a Weekly High Score Prize before this season was eight, set back in 2013.  (Well, technically there were 9 teams to get a share of a Prize in 2008, but one of those was only a half win.)  Most seasons we will see 6 or 7 teams claim the prizes.  (Last season, 2020, there were seven different WHSP winners).  But now this season, in just 10 weeks of play we already have our ninth different team to win a Weekly High Score Prize!  

The Week 10 honor goes to Attack of Mahomes, who finished with 117 points thanks to big Sunday and Monday Night games.  Timmy got big performances on Sunday from Mahomes and Kelce (39 and 11 points, respectively), then on Monday night had a breakout game from Deebo Samuel (24 points) to edge the next closest team by 5!  The win also moved Timmy’s record to 4-6 keeping him alive in the playoff hunt.  Nice work Tim-MAY!!  The only team in the league now who has yet to take home a Weekly High Score Prize is the Coors Light Drunk Guys.

Across the rest of the league there are no clinched playoff spots yet, but American BadAss and Scottish Rebels are close.  Probably one more win or a couple key losses by other teams will secure spots.  For everyone else, it is still wide open and all teams still have a chance to make it in.  From the scenarios I’ve run, it appears getting to 7 wins should secure a playoff spot for any team who gets there.  There is even a scenario I’ve run where Big Sack No TD’s (currently with a 3-7 record) makes it in with a record of 6-7.  So everyone is alive and it is crunch time!  Make sure to have your best roster in every week, and remember all teams are eligible to win a Weekly High Score Prize through Week 16 regardless of playoff qualification.

Just a few items to get to this week, including a record-setting Best Bench!

BIG TIME

• Patrick Mahomes, QB – Attack of Mahomes – 39 pts – After a couple lackluster weeks, Mahomes had his shine back completing 35 of 50 passes for 406 yards and 5 TD’s!  This moves Mahomes back into a tie with Brady for the top spot in fantasy scoring this season (221 points).
• Dallas, DEF – Big Sack No TD’s – 27 pts – Yes, a defense was the 2nd highest scoring player this week… crazy!  The Cowboys were all over the Falcons, getting 3 interceptions (1 run back for a TD), 2 sacks, a blocked kick, 2 4th down stops and only gave up 3 points.  

COME ON MAN

• DK Metcalf, WR – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – He was targeted 8 times, but only mustered 2 catches for just 26 yards.
• AJ Brown, WR – Big Sack No TD’s – 1 pt – Nothing doing for Brown this week, catching just 1 of 4 balls thrown his way for 16 yards.
• Dalton Schultz, TE – Young Guns – 1 pt – Schultz hasn’t found the endzone since Week 4, and this week caught a lone pass for just 14 yards.
• TJ Hockenson, TE – Vandelay Industries – 0 pts – No injuries or anything, just simply no production from ol’ TJ this week.  

TOP 5 CHECK IN

Here are how the top fives by position are shaping up after 10 weeks:

Notable highlights –

• Derrick Henry is still the 2^nd highest scoring running back in spite of not having scored any points for the last two weeks (and only 6 points in Week 8 before getting injured).
• Travis Kelce is still the best tight end in Fantasy.
• Two undrafted defenses are in the Top 5 (Arizona and Dallas).
• Kyle Pitts, TE for the Atlanta Falcons is the fourth highest scoring tight end and was actually selected in the 4^th round by American BadAss.  That is not a typo.

 

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Boss - How good are you at Power Point?

Me - I excel at it.

Boss – Was that a Microsoft Office pun?

Me – Word.

 

BEST BENCH

The Bestest Best Bench we’ve ever seen happened back in Week 2 2009 when sprouts had an 89-point improvement possibility.  The Coors Light Drunk Guys have come the closest to breaking that record with an 88-point improvement possibility back in Week 8 2014.  But now Shawn has finally done it and broken a Best Bench record, but not for most points ever…rather for the least!! 

Four weeks ago, Joe’s Pats went low on the Best Bench with an just an 18-point improvement possibility (tied for 3^rd lowest ever), but this Week the Drunk Guys did even better by taking home the Week 10 Best Bench with just a 14 point improvement possibility!

In an amazing testament to everyone’s roster selections this week, there were simply not many points to be had.  All other teams had just single digit improvements from their benches.  Unbelievable.  For the 14 points, Shawn needed to only make two roster changes:  H. Henry for T. Higbee +7 and R. Anderson for DK Metcalf +7.  This is the 3^rd Best Bench for the Drunk Guys, having also taken it home in Weeks 2 and 9.  Four teams have avoided a Best Bench so far this season.

 

Get those waivers in and get ready for the last 3 weeks before playoffs!!!

Week 8 means MIDTERMS!!

 

That's a big sack

What a scoring drop off!  Since Week 1, the average score across the league has not been below 90 points.  Scoring peaked in Week 5, with 1,105 total points scored, but even the last two weeks have had 977 and 947, respectively.  Then this week saw five teams score in the 60’s, two in the 70’s, one in the 80’s and just two teams scoring in triple digits.  And in this week’s example of how much matchups matter – two teams scored 69 points this week, one won and one lost, and two teams scored 73 points this week, and again one won and one lost. 

But the congratulations this week go to Mr. What Do You Know? Himself… Jens and his Big Sack!  In a preview showdown of Week 9’s “What Do You Know Bowl”, the two highest scoring teams came down to Big Sack No TD’s and the Coors Light Drunk Guys.  The Drunk Guys posted a very respectable 108 points, and Big Sack trailed by 7 points going into MNF with only a Kicker left to play.  Harrison Butker managed to knock home 2 field goals and 2 extra points for 8 points giving Big Sack a total of 109 to take the Weekly High Score Prize!  Jens also had big games from A.J. Brown (24 points) and Ryan Tannehill (20 points), and got 25 total points from his running back duo (Alvin Kamara 13, and Cordarrelle Patterson 12).  This marks the first Weekly High Score prize for Big Sack No TD’s and is the 7^th different team to win a prize so far this season.  Nice work Jens!

Eight weeks of the season are in the books so it is time for mid-term grades!  Years ago when I first starting giving out these mid-term grades, it was mostly just a gut feeling about each team and whether I thought it was any good.  Now it has grown into a full blown scientific analysis where teams are scored across eight categories and grades are awarded on a strict curve (2 A’s, 2 B’s, 2 C’s, 2 D’s and 2 F’s).  Much more on that below, plus we have two Best Benches to give out this week… onward!

BIG TIME

• Mike White, QB – Free Agent – 29 pts – Yes a free agent quarterback was this week’s top scorer.  Check this out, filling in for Zach Wilson he goes for 405 yards, 3 TD’s and 2 interceptions and leads the Jets to a victory over the Bengals.  Amazing!
• Tom Brady, QB – Sofa King American – 28 pts – Brady had 375 yards and 4 TD’s, but also tossed 2 INT’s and lost a fumble.  However, he still leads all fantasy scorers so far this season by 25 points.
• Josh Allen, QB – Scottish Rebels – 28 pts – Just 249 yards passing and 2 TD’s, but managed to also rumble for 55 yards on the ground and get a rushing TD.  He currently ranks as the 2nd highest scoring quarterback in fantasy, just behind Mr. GOAT.

COME ON MAN

• Kyle Pitts, TE – American BadAss – 1 pt – After scoring 17 & 19 in his last two games, Pitts managed just 2 catches for a whopping 13 yards this week.
• Dalton Schultz, TE – Young Guns – 1 pt – With Prescott out, Schultz only managed to catch 2 balls for a measly 11 yards.
• Mike Williams, WR – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – After a 31 point explosion in Week 5, Williams has now scored only 3 points in his last two games.
• Emmanuel Sanders, WR – Scottish Rebels – 0 pts – He did not manage to catch any of the four balls thrown his way. Yuck.
• Travis Kelce, TE – Attack of Mahomes – 0 pts – After dominating fantasy scoring early in the season, Kelce has scored in double figures only once since Week 4, and has just 1 touchdown in the last 5 weeks.  This week he caught four passes for 27 yards, but lost a fumble wiping it all out.
• David Johnson, RB – Sofa King American – 0 pts – Yet another player who at one time was a sure fire 1^st round pick reduced to fantasy irrelevancy.  Johnson had just 2 carries for 4 yards and appears destined for even less work going forward.  Alas.
• Noah Fant, TE – Sofa King American – 0 pts – Just a bad day for Fant who caught only 2 passes for 8 yards. 

 

MID-TERMS!!

Here are the categories all teams are scored on for mid term grades:

-Win/Loss record – Higher points go to teams with better records – Scottish Rebels currently have best record at 7-1;

-Points scored – Higher points go to teams who have scored more total points – Scottish Rebels currently have most points scored at 794;

-Points against – Higher points go to teams with more points scored against them – Attack of Mahomes has had the most points scored against with 854;

-Weekly High Score Prizes – More points go to teams with more High Score prizes – Scottish Rebels are the only team with multiple (2) so far this season.

-Best Benches – More points go to teams with fewer Best Bench awards – American BadAss and Attack of Mahomes each have 2, while Big Sack No TD’s, sprouts, Vandelay Industries and Scottish Rebels have not had a Best Bench this season so far.

-Waiver Moves – More points awarded to teams more active on the waiver wire – Young Guns currently has the most waiver moves with 20.

-Keeper Production – More points awarded to teams whose keepers have scored the most points.  Vandelay Industries is tops in this category with 336 points from keepers.

-Utilization – More points awarded to teams with higher utilization.  Sprouts has the highest utilization rate this season at 93.2%.

Here are the report cards for each team:

So the big question is whether these mid-term grades mean anything… here is a recap of the last four year’s top three finishers and what their mid-term grades were:

The grade which has been in the top 3 in each of the last four seasons is A+, followed, oddly, by C+ with three appearances.  We’ve not had a grade lower than C+ finish in the top 3 since mid-terms have been calculated this way. 

 

PLAYOFFS?! DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!!!

Only four more weeks of the regular season which means it’s almost time to start talking about playoff scenarios.  At this point, with only three teams with records better than .500, it is still literally wide open.  Any team which wins their last four games is a virtual shoo-in to make the playoffs.

 

BEST BENCH(ES)

Two weeks of Best Benches to hand out this week… man whether it’s due to bye weeks, injuries or just good ol’ team management, there have not been many points left on the bench the last two weeks.  Across the last three weeks, there have been 16 instances of only single digit improvement possibilities, with 7 of those being ‘optimal lineups’ (i.e. Zero bench improvement points!).  And oddly enough, the last two week’s Best Benches both tied with just 22-point improvement possibilities.

In Week 7, it was a lone player swap to get the 22 points for… Attack of Mahomes!  Timmy needed to only swap J. Chase for D. Moore (+22).  This is the second Best Bench this season for AoM, having also earning the distinction back in Week 1.

This week was a bit more work to get there, as it required 4 roster swaps to get the 22 points.  Snagging a 2^nd Best Bench this season as well, Week 8 goes to… American BadAss!!  Jason needed the half-roster swap:  J. Burrow for J. Winston +10, M. Gordon for E. Elliott +8, T. Boyd for S. Diggs +3, and J. Cook for K. Pitts +1.  This is also the second Best Bench for ABA, having earned it back in Week 4 as well.

 

Okay get those waivers in and get ready for the final push to the playoffs!  Bring on Week 9!! 

American BadAss takes the Week 6 top spot!

This season is officially going down as the craziest season of all time.  There have been seasons where we only had six different teams take home a Weekly High Score Prize for the whole season, and now this season gives us six different winners in as many weeks!  How's that for parity?  The congrats this week go to American BadAss who more than doubled Young Guns en route to a 141-69 point victory!  The 72-point margin of victory marks the 12th largest margin of victory in Sacred Sundays history.  BadAss’ roster was pretty impeccable across the board with four players scoring over 20! (Dak Prescott 29, CeeDee Lamb 26, LA Rams 21 and Joe Mixon 20).  141 points is also the highest single week total we’ve seen this season, beating Vandelay Industries’ 139 points from Week 2.  Well done bro!

In other games scores were high again this week, with four other teams scoring in triple digits, amounting to 977 total points scored (2nd highest scoring week this season).  Attack of Mahomes was the one losing team to score over 100, after last week when 3 teams scoring over 100 lost.  Historically scoring over 100 has led to victory 87% of the time, but this season is only at 81.5%.  Brutal.

Check out some of these crazy stats from the NFL:

• The Kansas City Chiefs are not in a playoff spot, but the Cincinnati Bengals are.
• Stefon Diggs, who led the league in receptions and receiving yards last season, doesn’t currently rank in the top 25 of either category.
• Jalen Hurts has outscored Lamar Jackson in fantasy points (145 to 139).
• There have been 31 missed extra points so far this season, led by Tristan Vizcaino (LAC) who has missed a mind-boggling 5 of them.
• Sam Darnold has outscored Aaron Rodgers in fantasy points (113 to 109).
• Patrick Mahomes threw six interceptions last season.  He’s already thrown eight this season.

Just a few quick items this week, including a crazy Best Bench…

BIG TIME FOOTBALL

• Derrick Henry, RB – Vandelay Industries – 33 pts – The human wrecking ball known as Derrick Henry continued his path of destruction, this week logging 143 yards and 3 TD’s!  Henry leads all running backs in fantasy scoring this season, and it is not even close.  He’s got 156 points on the season with the next closest, Austin Ekeler, having just 96.  It’s like he’s playing a different game.
• Josh Allen, QB – Scottish Rebels – 31 pts – Another big game for Allen, 353 pass yards and 3 TDs, making it the third time this season to score over 30 points.  
• Kirk Cousins, QB – Free Agent – 30 pts – Solid outing for Cousins, 373 yards and 3 TDs, which moves him into the 10th ranked quarterback in fantasy.

COME ON MAN!

• Mike Evans, WR – Scottish Rebels – 2 pts – Two catches for 27 yards is all Evans was able to muster this week.
• Buffalo, DEF – Young Guns – 2 pts – The only stat the Buffalo defense was able to hang on the Titans was a single interception, while giving up 34 points.
• Denver, DEF – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – The Broncos also surrendered 34 points and the only stat they hung on the Raiders was two sacks.  Weak.
• Terry McLaurin, WR – Joe’s Pats – 2 pts – Targeted 8 times and only caught half of them for just 28 yards.

ALL UNWANTEDS

The Unwanteds are proving to not be drafted for good reason this season.  Normally in this process I’ll uncover one or two gems, but not this year.  Look at this garbage lineup when using the Chicago Bears (excluding D. Montgomery and A. Robinson) and the New York Giants (excluding S. Barkley and K. Golladay):

I’ve honestly not heard of half of those players.  Eli Penny?  Cole Kmart?  Who are these guys?  With a league average score of 97 this week, this goes down as another loss for the AUW’s, moving their record to 1-5.

BEST BENCH

Keeping with craziness of this season, the Week 6 Best Bench is the sixth different team to take home the honor this season.  Last season overall there were 8 teams to win a Best Bench, and we’ve already had 6 this season.  Crazy!  Also, owing to injuries, bye weeks, and just all around quality team management this week’s Best Bench was nearly a record setter (on the low side).  The record for the lowest Best Bench of all time is 16 points, which was set by the Midnight Maulers back in Week 7 of 2011.  This week’s Best Bench came within a breath of that record and actually tied the record for 2nd lowest Best Bench with just an 18 point-improvement-possibility!  Needing just two roster moves to get there, the Week 6 Best Bench goes to – Joe’s Pats!!  Joe needed to only swap D. Harris for A. Ekeler +12 and B. Cooks for T. McLaurin +6.

Get your waiver claims in and get ready for Week 7!  Six teams are on byes, so double check your rosters!

Sprouts Takes Week 5 Amidst Record Breaking Scoring Outburst!

 This was just an unbelievable week for fantasy scores.  Check out all of the records set:  Most total points scored in a week (1,105); Most teams to score >100 points in a week (8); Highest Score in a Loss (124); Most teams to score >100 points in a loss (3); plus this week ties the record for having five different Weekly High Score Winners to start the season.  And these records weren’t just set, they smashed the previous records.  For total points, this week crushed the previous record by 71 points.  For total teams scoring >100, there had never been more than 6 in a week.  And the previous Highest Score in a loss was 118 and was a record which had stood for nearly 8 seasons!   (Prior record was set back in Week 15 of 2013 when Channel 4 News Team defeated Sofa King Good 149-118.  James just beat his own record!)  

These crazy high scores did come in week with the most fantasy points scored across the NFL since Week 2, 2020.  That week had 2,724 fantasy points scored amongst 336 players, and now this week there were 2,702 points scored amongst 332 players.  So even with fewer points, the league total points dominated!  Amazingly the lowest point total for any team this week was 95!  There have been six times historically when the high score for the week wasn’t above 95.

At the top of it all, the crème de la crème this week was sprouts who had an unbelievable 58-point Monday night to take home the Week 5 Weekly High Score Prize with 132 points!  The big Monday scorers for Russ were tight end Mark Andrews (30 pts) and RB Jonathan Taylor (28 pts).  Kyler Murray underperformed a bit this week (13 points), but all players on sprouts’ roster scored in double digits.  This was also an ‘Optimal High Score’ as there were no bench improvement points to be had.  Great job Russ!!

Alright, this week I reveal my playoff picks for 2021!!  More on that below… but first a few quick observations:

BIG TIME

• Justin Herbert, QB – Young Guns – 44 pts – Over the last three weeks, Herbert has 11 TDs with 0 Ints.  This week he got in a shootout and threw for 398 yards and 4 TDs, plus rushed for 29 yards and 1 TD.
• Lamar Jackson, QB – Vandelay Industries – 44 pts – Jackson literally had 4 points in the first half, and then proceeded to throw for his career high passing yards in the second half by itself!  All told he finished with 442 passing yards, 4 TD’s plus added 62 rushing yards and 2 2-point conversions.
• Tom Brady, QB – Sofa King American – 40 pts – Brady comes back in a big way after last week’s 10 point performance.  He torched Miami for 411 yards and 5 TD’s.  The old man currently leads all fantasy scorers with 140 points scored on the season.
• Josh Allen, QB – Scottish Rebels – 35 pts – Allen mowed down the Chiefs to the tune of 315 yards passing and 3 TD’s, plus 59 yards rushing and another TD.
• Derrick Henry, RB – Vandelay Industries – 31 pts – As the top scoring running back in fantasy, Henry is averaging 128 yards per game this season.  With a 17-game season, that has him on pace to rush for 2,176 yards!  Holy shit!  He’s also found the endzone 7 times so far, with 3 coming this week.
• Mike Williams, WR – Vandelay Industries – 31 pts – Williams made up for last week’s 1 pointer in a big way!  He went off catching 8 passes for 165 yards and 2 TD’s in the Chargers win over the Browns.
• Mark Andrews, TE – sprouts – 30 pts – Biggest game from a tight end this season!  Andrews caught an incredible 11 passes for 147 yards and 2 TD’s.  This moves him into a tie for second place amongst tight ends.

COME ON MAN

The ‘Come On Man’ section has typically been reserved for players who scored 1 or fewer points in a given week.  Injured players (like Saquon Barkley, Maxx Williams and Clyde Edwards-Helaire this week) are excluded.  Occasionally I’ll feature a player here who only scored a deuce, if it is a superstar or a keeper.  Every week there are always two or three to mention here.  However, this is the first week where there are no uninjured active players who scored less than 2 points.  Truly remarkable.

PLAYOFFS? DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!!

It’s that time once again to pull out the ol’ crystal ball, dust off the Ouija board and summon my inner Nostradamus.  Yes, it is the Annual Week 5 Playoff Predictions!!  Not to brag too much, but my picks last year were 6-for-6, so I’m dialed in Miss Cleo style!

Following the same approach as last season, these are the factors considered: Current record, Points Scored, Utilization and Schedule Difficulty.  

When it comes to points scored the most sure bet is the highest scoring team through 5 weeks which has qualified for the playoffs every single year.  The second highest scoring team has qualified 93% of the time historically.  In terms of win loss record, undefeated teams (either 5-0 or 4-0-1) have qualified 87.5% of the time and teams with only 1 loss have qualified 82.3% of the time.  Utilization has only been tracked in 2019 and 2020, but in both years the top 5 ‘Utilization’ teams all qualified for the playoffs.  

Here now are my 2021 Playoff Predictions (in no particular order):

• Joe’s Pats – The Pats are the second highest scoring team, rank 2nd in Utilization and have the 3rd easiest schedule going forward.
• sprouts – Fourth highest scoring team, rank #1 in Utilization and have the 2nd easiest schedule going forward.
• Scottish Rebels – Best record in the league, rank 5th in Utilization but have the toughest schedule going forward.
• Sofa King American – This will be an interesting one because King is currently the highest scoring team in the league, yet is tied for the worst record.  However, they do have the easiest schedule going forward and rank 3rd in Utilization, so they may just squeak in.
• Vandelay Industries – Third highest scoring team, have the 5th easiest schedule and rank 6th in Utilization.
• American BadAss – Ranked 4th in Utilization and 6th in points scored but have the 2nd hardest schedule going forward.

Alright there they are!  Now just 8 short weeks to either prove me right or wrong…

BEST BENCH

High scores flying all around this week, so it only makes sense we would have the highest Best Bench improvement of the season!  Also it should be noted, this week’s Best Bench is the fifth different team to take home the honor this season.  Without further ado, and with a super impressive 53 point improvement possibility, the Week 5 Best Bench goes to …. Young Guns!!  John needed to swap out 50% of his roster to get there – A. Brown for T Higgins (+19), Buffalo for New England (+13), C. Claypool for K. Allen (+12) and M. Davis for S. Barkley (+9).

Get those waiver claims in (lord knows there’s been a ton of injuries) and get your rosters ready for Week 6!!

Joe's Pats on Top in Week 4

Four weeks into the season and we have four different Weekly High Score Prize winners.  This is only the third time this has happened in league history, most recently in 2014.  (In 2014 we had unique winners through Week 5, which is the record.)   This week it was Joe’s Pats with a big Monday Night showing to take the Week’s High Score with 121!  Joe had big games from Jalen Hurts (30 pts), Terry McLaurin (24 pts) and the Monday Night Star, Austin Ekeler with 25 points.  The 121 point total ties Sofa King American for the 2nd highest point total this season, and with 398 total points, Joe’s Pats is the current point leader!  Well done Joe!

In other games, American BadAss thumped my hapless group of dumbasses so there are no more undefeated teams.  Three teams now sit with 3-1 records, four are at 2-2 and three are at 1-3.  Interestingly only 70 points separates the highest scoring team (Joe’s Pats) from the lowest (Big Sack No TD’s).  

Playoff predictions are coming next week, so just a quick update this week…

BIG TIME

• Tyreek Hill, WR – Sofa King American – 39 pts – Hill exploded in Week 1 for 28 points and just did it again with an unbelievable game with 186 yards receiving and 3 TD’s!  No other Chief had more than 25 yards receiving, as Hill just gobbled them all up.
• Patrick Mahomes, QB – Attack of Mahomes – 31 pts – Of course the QB tossing the ball to the high scoring receiver would also score highly!  Mahomes only had 6 incompletions on 30 attempts (1 interception), while racking up 278 yards and 5 TD’s.
• Deebo Samuel, WR – Attack of Mahomes – 30 pts – Another Week 1 standout pops up again in Week 4!  Samuel had 25 pts in Week 1, and now drops 156 yards and 2 TD’s this week.
• Jalen Hurts, QB – Joe’s Pats – 30 pts – Hurts is proving to be a consistent performer, having scored no less than 20 points any week this season and currently ranks as the 4th highest scoring QB.
• Cordarrelle Patterson, WR/RB – Big Sack No TD’s – 30 pts - Cord did his damage catching the ball, as he caught 5 balls for 84 yards and 3 TD’s to go along with 34 yards rushing.

COME ON MAN

• Myles Gaskin, RB – Christian McCaffrey’s Thigh – 0 pts – Really scraping the bottom of the barrel here… this guy had all of 2 attempts for 3 yards.
• CeeDee Lamb, WR – American BadAss – 1 pt – Just 2 catches for 13 yards as the Cowboys focused on a run-heavy approach.
• Los Angeles Rams, DEF – American BadAss – -1 pt – The Rams defense managed to record 3 sacks but gave up a whopping 37 points.  Oof.
• Brandon McManus, K – Young Guns – 1 pt – A singular extra point was the only contribution Mr. McManus was able to make.
• Mike Williams, WR – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – After having a touchdown every week so far (even 2 last week), Williams only had 1 catch for 11 yards this time.

 S#!T IN ITS MANY FORMS

Did you know the type of animal shit denotes a specific meaning which everyone knows intuitively…

Bullshit = lies

Dogshit = poor quality

Batshit = illogical

Apeshit = frighteningly aggressive

Horseshit = unfair

Chickenshit = cowardly

Ratshit = used with a socket to loosen bolts

TOP 5’s VS DRAFT POSITION

Here is the first check-in this season on Top 5’s for each position along with their draft position.

Eight undrafted players are currently in the top 5 of their respective positions.  Wide receivers are crazy with 4 of the top five having been drafted in Round 5 or later and one being undrafted.  (Note – Patterson’s position is technically listed as WR/RB, but he’s grouped in with WR’s in my data.  Oddly enough, he’s the 4th ranked WR but would be the 3rd ranked RB.)

ALL UNWANTEDS

The Week 4 AUW’s come from the New York Giants (less Barkley & Golladay) and the Chicago Bears (less Montgomery and Robinson).

Tough showing not having a 2nd runningback who scored any points.  The league average score this week was 92.2, so this goes down as another loss, dropping their record to 1-3.

BEST BENCH

With four Weekly High Score winners on the season, it only makes sense we would have our fourth different Best Bench as well!  It was a two-man race for the honor this week, as Attack of Mahomes made a strong case with a 31-point improvement possibility.  But that wasn’t quite enough to overtake American BadAss for the Week 4 Best Bench!!  Jason needed just 3 roster moves to improve his point total by a solid 33 points:  Cleveland for LA Rams +14, D. Smith for C. Lamb +11, and J. Cook for K. Pitts +8.

Get those waiver claims in and get ready for Week 5!!