Wyld Ass Monkeys are on fire!!

That’s the way you do some fantasy football!  The Ass Monkeys had 6 of 8 players score in the double digits, led by Tyreek Hill with 34 pts, the Tampa Defense with 28 pts and Justin Herbert with 23 pts, to finish the week with a very nice 142 points!  Who would’ve thought WAM would take the Weekly High Score Prize with Derrick Henry tying for the fewest points (8) on their roster?  Crazy!  The 142 points scored this week is the highest total in two seasons since Week 12, 2020 when Sofa King American scored 144 points.  Excellent work Rob!  Chris Gallegos would be proud!

Across the rest of the league, and just like last season, only one team managed to finish week 2 at 2-0.  Sofa King Good holds the distinction this season, as all other winners last week lost this week, except for Shawn and I who tied in this year’s Powder Puff game.  Our game finished at a final score of 63-63, not even enough points COMBINED to outscore the Wyld Ass Monkeys!  We both would have lost to nearly any other team this week, as 63 was the second lowest total put up by any team.  Just really goes to show how much matchups can matter, and how much totals can change week to week.  My Scottish Rebels scored 32 fewer points this week, and last week’s high scorer, Attack of Mahomes, scored little more than half of their week 1 total (116 vs 67).  It’s the same players playing the same game, but somehow just seven days later things are completely different. Crazy game.

BIG TIME

• Lamar Jackson, QB – Big Sack No TD’s – 41 pts – What a performance from Jackson!  If you just took his passing yards, you’d say he had a good game with 318 yard, 3 TD’s and 0 interceptions.  But then you add in he had 119 yards rushing plus another TD, and it’s just like wow…
• Tua Tagovailoa, QB – Free Agent – 41 pts – Tua was just slinging it like a madman!  In the end he completed 35 of 50 passes for an insane 468 yards and 6, yes 6!!, TD passes.  He did also have 2 interceptions, but still an amazing day.
• Tyreek Hill, WR – Wyld Ass Monkeys – 34 pts – Hill was one of the beneficiaries of Tua’s slinging, grabbing 11 catches for 190 yards and 2 TDs!
• Jaylen Waddle, WR – Young Guns – 32 pts – Waddle was the other recipient, who was targeted an incredible 19 times in the game!  He ended up also making 11 catches for 171 yards and 2 TD’s.
• Jalen Hurts, QB – Joe’s Pats – 32 pts – Hurts did a Lamar Jackson impression with his day, throwing for 333 yards and a TD, but also adding 57 rushing yards with 2 more TDs.
• Stefon Diggs, WR – American BadAss – 32 pts – With Gabe Davis sidelined, Diggs stepped up in a big way, catching 12 balls for 148 yards and 3 TDs!

COME ON MAN

• Robert Tonyan, TE – Scottish Rebels – 1 pt – Nothing doing for Tonyan, as he only caught 2 balls for 11 yards.
• Greg Joseph, K – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – The Philadelphia D gave the Vikings no chances to score, so Joseph finished with but a single extra point.  
• Taysom Hill, TE – Big Sack No TD – 1 pt – Last week Hill was huge, scoring 14 points and this week he only got 14 yards.  *wah wah*
• Juju Smith-Schuster, WR – Attack of Mahomes – 1 pt – First the good news… Juju caught every ball thrown his way.  Now the bad news… that amounted to 3 catches for 10 yards.  Oof.
• Kyle Pitts, TE – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – Another single point outing for Pitts.  Gotta do better than that, kid.  Joe didn't spend a 4th round pick for 1 point a week!
• Rex Burkhead, RB – Big Sack No TD – 0 pts – Ol’ Rex did the classic 2-catch-for-9-yards-and-zero-points game.

SURPRISES IN THE TOP 5’s

Two weeks is not much of a sample size, but let's go ahead and take a look at some top 5's.  There are a few surprises in the top 5 running backs:

• Nick Chubb RB Cle 42
• Saquon Barkley RB NYG 38
• D'Andre Swift RB Det 37
• Aaron Jones RB GB 34
• Jonathan Taylor RB Ind 31

These are notable because of those top 5 only 1, Jonathan Taylor, is a keeper.  In fact, only 3 of the 8 running back keepers currently rank in the Top 20 RB’s.

Wide receivers have one surprise:

• Stefon Diggs WR Buf 50
• Jaylen Waddle WR Mia 44
• Tyreek Hill WR Mia 43
• Amon-Ra St. Brown WR Det 41
• Cooper Kupp WR LAR 38

How about seeing Amon-Ra St. Brown up in 4th place?!  Sprouts has gotten good value from the 7th round pick so far.  Here we see 3 of 5 WR keepers ranking in the top 5 (Diggs, Waddle and Kupp).

Defenses:

• Tampa Bay DEF TB 47
• Buffalo DEF Buf 39
• Pittsburgh DEF Pit 33
• Jacksonville DEF Jax 31
• Atlanta DEF Atl 24

Do you realize with 47 points scored by Tampa’s defense, they are the 8th highest scoring player in all of fantasy?  They have scored more points than Justin Herbert and Kyler Murray.

Quarterbacks:

• Lamar Jackson QB Bal 60
• Josh Allen QB Buf 59
• Jalen Hurts QB Phi 56
• Tua Tagovailoa QB Mia 55
• Carson Wentz QB Was 54
• Pat Mahomes QB KC 54

The surprises here have to be Tua (obviously) and Carson Wentz.  Who would’ve thought Wentz in Washington was going to have any success, and here he is even in points with Mahomes.

BEST BENCH

You know, I talk about it all the time: there is a reason you a) keep players, and b) draft players with high draft picks.  And that reason is… because they should be in the game!  Case in point were Jaylen Waddle (32 points on Young Guns’ bench) and Aaron Jones (28 points on my bench) this week.  This is one of John’s keepers and literally my first draft pick.  What on earth could have driven both of us to bench these players in Week 2?!  Fantasy football is crazy!

For Week 2, the Best Bench goes to yours truly, because along with stashing Aaron Jones on my bench, I had three more players who outscored starters.  For a 42-point improvement, I needed a half-roster four player swap: A. Jones for D. Cook +26, P. Freiermuth for R. Tonyan +7, D. Carter for J. Jeudy +5 and M. Sanders for C. Patterson +4.  

Okay get your waivers in and get ready for Week 3!!

Beware of The Attack!!

 

The Attack is legit!  Attack of Mahomes started the season with a bang, with five players scoring in double figures, led by the man himself, Patrick Mahomes, with an astounding 5 TD/360 yard performance to lead all scorers in Week 1 with 37 points!  In the end, Timmy finished with 116 points to take the Week 1 Weekly High Score prize!  Well done Tim-Tim!

So here’s a question – Does winning the Week 1 Weekly High Score prize lead to season success?  From 2007-2021 the Week 1 WHS has finished the season 1^st on 2 occasions, and has finished in last place only once, and that was way back in 2007.  In fact, the average finish for the Week 1 high scorer is 3.7, so a top four finish.  Of the 15 years, the worst finishes for the Week 1 WHS are 10^th, 9^th and 6^th.  Weirdly, all three of those belong to James.  If you take those out and average the rest, it is an average finish of 2.5, so getting into the top 3.  Timmy was the 2019 Week 1 High Score and went on to finish 3^rd that season.

It so good to be back to football!  Let’s do this!

BIG TIME BALLIN’

• Patrick Mahomes, QB – Attack of Mahomes – 37 pts – Mahomes was his usual unstoppable self as he sliced up the Cardinals defense. 
• Justin Jefferson, WR – Big Sack No TD’s – 33 pts – Good way to start the season with 184 yards and 2 TDs.
• Saquon Barkley, RB – Young Guns – 30 pts – Barkley had an impressive average of 9.1 yards per carry, picking up 164 rushing yards on only 18 carries.  Plus he added a TD and 30 yards receiving.
• Josh Allen, QB – Scottish Rebels – 30 pts – Allen tossed 2 TD’s and had a rushing TD to go along with 297 yards passing and 56 yards rushing.  But he did have two interceptions.

COME ON MAN

• Cam Akers, RB – Wyld Ass Monkeys – 0 pts – He did play, but barely.  He finished with 3 carries for 0 yards, and zero hope.
• George Kittle, TE – American BadAss – 0 pts – Pregame scratch, yet still in the starting lineup…
• Mike Williams, WR – Train Wreck – 1 pt – Herbert threw to 9 different receivers, so Williams only had 2 catches for 10 yards.  Oof.
• Matt Prater, K – Train Wreck – 1 pt – All Prater got was one extra point.
• Green Bay, DEF – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 1 pt – The Packers defense only point came from a single QB sack recorded. 
• Tony Pollard, RB – Big Sack No TDs – 1 pt – The dude touched the ball 8 times (6 rushes, 2 catches), and netted a total of 22 yards. (8 rushing, 14 receiving).
• Nick Folk, K – Joe’s Pats – 1 pt – Oh to go back to the good ol’ days when a Patriots kicker was good for at least 2-3 field goals and 2-3 extra points per game.  Now you’ve got this guy, putting up 1 lousy extra point.  For the whole game.
• Dawson Knox, TE – Young Guns – 0 pts – With the Bills wide receivers not being covered, the tight ends didn’t really get a lot of chances.  Knox finished with 1 catch (from 2 targets) for only 5 yards.

Definitely the best thing about Dallas Cowboy football

BEST BENCH

The team who takes home the first Best Bench of the season has not fared nearly as well as the first Weekly High Score winner.  Over the last 7 seasons, the first Best Bench team has finished no better than 3^rd, and has an average finish of 6.8.  Trying to buck the trend this season, and with a very solid 36-point-improvement-possibility, the Week 1 2022 Best Bench goes to… Wyld Ass Monkeys!!

Poot needed only 3 roster moves to get there:  J. Robinson for C. Akers +18, M. Thomas for C. Sutton +10 and D. Duvernay for T. Hill +8.

 

Get those waivers in and get ready for Week 2!! 

Let the games begin! 2022!!

 

Sacred Sundays 2022 is upon us!  This marks the 19th season of Sacred Sundays and the 6th iteration with all the same owners.  Joe’s Pats begins a fourth title defense run, which ties American BadAss for the most in league history.  Big Sack No TD’s on the other hand, is trying to avoid being the bottom team for the third year in a row.  Over the last two seasons BSNTD’s has a combined record of 5-21, which, if you are keeping score at home, is not great.  (The only way to go is up from here, Jens!  What do YOU know?!?)  On the flip side, the best regular season record over the last two seasons belongs to sprouts, who is 18-8 (.693).  

Last season’s best record was a tie between Joe’s Pats and my Scottish Rebels at 8-5.  The best regular season finish ever is 11-2 which has only been done twice, most recently in 2013 by Timmy’s then named ‘Channel 4 News Team’, and way back in 2007 by my Scottish Rebels.  (There have been six 10 win teams since 2007).  The best starting record still stands at 6-0, a record also most recently achieved in 2013 by that same ‘Channel 4 News Team’.  (If you’re curious, ‘Ch. 4 News’ dominated in 2013, racking up 5 Weekly High Scores and a 2nd place finish to lead all money winners.  However in 2014, ‘Ch. 4 News’ stumbled to a 4-9 record and missed the playoffs, thus causing Timmy to abandon the name in favor of “Bubble Craps Bandits” in the 2015 season.)

Here are some quick hits from the 2022 draft:

- Every NFL team had at least 2 players selected in the draft.  The four teams tied for the fewest players selected (2) were: Carolina, Houston, Tennessee and Washington.

- Wide receivers were the most selected position with 50 taken, followed closely by running backs with 46 players selected.

- The Buffalo Bills and Kansas City Chiefs both had the most players selected with 8.  (Timmy accounted for all 8 Chiefs selected.)

- Attack of Mahomes 8 Chiefs are by far the most of any single NFL team represented on one roster.  The next closest is Joe’s Pats with 4 New England Patriots.  Three teams picked 3 players from two separate NFL teams… Train Wreck (3 from both the Bucs and Jets), Coors Light Drunk Guys (3 from both the Packers and Cowboys), and American BadAss (3 from both the Bengals and Bills).

- Sprouts is the most ‘diverse’ across NFL teams with 13 different teams represented on his roster.

- Attack of Mahomes also takes the prize for the most players in a single position drafted, having selected 7 running backs.  I think Timmy is planning to run the wishbone this season.  Three teams (Big Sack, Young Guns and Joe’s Pats) tied for second most of one position, with all three teams selecting 6 wide receivers.

- Everyone drafted a kicker this season!  The first kicker (Evan McPherson) did not go off the board until the 11th round.  Over the last three seasons, the first kickers went off the board no later than the 8th round.

EVERYBODY NEEDS MONEY, THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT MONEY

The buy-in and payouts will be the same as last season… $150 buy-in, with $50 to the weekly high score (16 weeks) plus prizes for the top four finishers:  $75-4th, $125-3rd, $150-2nd and $350-Champion.

Teams with carryover funds from last season:  

Joe = $150 carryover ($0 due)

Timmy = $275 carryover ($0 due)

Jason = $50 carryover ($100 due)

Rob = $50 carryover ($100 due)

Everyone else can send me $150 either via Paypal (jernoble2727@yahoo.com) or Venmo (@Jerry-Noble-2), or mail me a check (1821 Division St, Camas, WA), or swing by and drop off cash.  

WYLD ASS MONKEYS ARE ON FIRE

Chris Gallegos is living on his Rollerblade royalties on some tropical beach somewhere. LMFAO

DRAFT POSITION vs FINAL STANDING

Does where your team picks in the draft have any bearing on final standings?  I’ve taken the last seven years of Top Four finishers and looked back to see where those teams drafted to see if there are any trends.  Here is a table showing the draft position of each of the top four positions since 2015:

Draft Position of final results:

Overall it is a fairly random distribution, but there is a slight skew toward draft positions in the back half (6-10) versus the front half (1-5).  Of the 28 draft positions listed above, there are only 12 from the front half (42.9%) and 16 from the back half (57.1%).  Perhaps this is a statistical anomaly due to a small sample size, or maybe there is a slight advantage from having a back half draft position.

Here is a table showing the number of times each pick has appeared in the top four:

No clear winner here, but the one oddity is the team drafting from the fourth position has not placed in the top four in any of the last seven years.  Time to break the trend, Timmy!  (Attack of Mahomes was 4th in the draft this season.)  Also, the last two seasons, the second place team drafted second.  This year’s second spot in the draft belonged to Train Wreck…so James you are off to a good start!

Okay, the season starts on Thursday (Sep 8th) with the Bills @ Rams so make sure your rosters are set!  

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?