American BadAss takes the Week 6 top spot!

This season is officially going down as the craziest season of all time.  There have been seasons where we only had six different teams take home a Weekly High Score Prize for the whole season, and now this season gives us six different winners in as many weeks!  How's that for parity?  The congrats this week go to American BadAss who more than doubled Young Guns en route to a 141-69 point victory!  The 72-point margin of victory marks the 12th largest margin of victory in Sacred Sundays history.  BadAss’ roster was pretty impeccable across the board with four players scoring over 20! (Dak Prescott 29, CeeDee Lamb 26, LA Rams 21 and Joe Mixon 20).  141 points is also the highest single week total we’ve seen this season, beating Vandelay Industries’ 139 points from Week 2.  Well done bro!

In other games scores were high again this week, with four other teams scoring in triple digits, amounting to 977 total points scored (2nd highest scoring week this season).  Attack of Mahomes was the one losing team to score over 100, after last week when 3 teams scoring over 100 lost.  Historically scoring over 100 has led to victory 87% of the time, but this season is only at 81.5%.  Brutal.

Check out some of these crazy stats from the NFL:

• The Kansas City Chiefs are not in a playoff spot, but the Cincinnati Bengals are.
• Stefon Diggs, who led the league in receptions and receiving yards last season, doesn’t currently rank in the top 25 of either category.
• Jalen Hurts has outscored Lamar Jackson in fantasy points (145 to 139).
• There have been 31 missed extra points so far this season, led by Tristan Vizcaino (LAC) who has missed a mind-boggling 5 of them.
• Sam Darnold has outscored Aaron Rodgers in fantasy points (113 to 109).
• Patrick Mahomes threw six interceptions last season.  He’s already thrown eight this season.

Just a few quick items this week, including a crazy Best Bench…

BIG TIME FOOTBALL

• Derrick Henry, RB – Vandelay Industries – 33 pts – The human wrecking ball known as Derrick Henry continued his path of destruction, this week logging 143 yards and 3 TD’s!  Henry leads all running backs in fantasy scoring this season, and it is not even close.  He’s got 156 points on the season with the next closest, Austin Ekeler, having just 96.  It’s like he’s playing a different game.
• Josh Allen, QB – Scottish Rebels – 31 pts – Another big game for Allen, 353 pass yards and 3 TDs, making it the third time this season to score over 30 points.  
• Kirk Cousins, QB – Free Agent – 30 pts – Solid outing for Cousins, 373 yards and 3 TDs, which moves him into the 10th ranked quarterback in fantasy.

COME ON MAN!

• Mike Evans, WR – Scottish Rebels – 2 pts – Two catches for 27 yards is all Evans was able to muster this week.
• Buffalo, DEF – Young Guns – 2 pts – The only stat the Buffalo defense was able to hang on the Titans was a single interception, while giving up 34 points.
• Denver, DEF – Coors Light Drunk Guys – 2 pts – The Broncos also surrendered 34 points and the only stat they hung on the Raiders was two sacks.  Weak.
• Terry McLaurin, WR – Joe’s Pats – 2 pts – Targeted 8 times and only caught half of them for just 28 yards.

ALL UNWANTEDS

The Unwanteds are proving to not be drafted for good reason this season.  Normally in this process I’ll uncover one or two gems, but not this year.  Look at this garbage lineup when using the Chicago Bears (excluding D. Montgomery and A. Robinson) and the New York Giants (excluding S. Barkley and K. Golladay):

I’ve honestly not heard of half of those players.  Eli Penny?  Cole Kmart?  Who are these guys?  With a league average score of 97 this week, this goes down as another loss for the AUW’s, moving their record to 1-5.

BEST BENCH

Keeping with craziness of this season, the Week 6 Best Bench is the sixth different team to take home the honor this season.  Last season overall there were 8 teams to win a Best Bench, and we’ve already had 6 this season.  Crazy!  Also, owing to injuries, bye weeks, and just all around quality team management this week’s Best Bench was nearly a record setter (on the low side).  The record for the lowest Best Bench of all time is 16 points, which was set by the Midnight Maulers back in Week 7 of 2011.  This week’s Best Bench came within a breath of that record and actually tied the record for 2nd lowest Best Bench with just an 18 point-improvement-possibility!  Needing just two roster moves to get there, the Week 6 Best Bench goes to – Joe’s Pats!!  Joe needed to only swap D. Harris for A. Ekeler +12 and B. Cooks for T. McLaurin +6.

Get your waiver claims in and get ready for Week 7!  Six teams are on byes, so double check your rosters!

Sprouts Takes Week 5 Amidst Record Breaking Scoring Outburst!

 This was just an unbelievable week for fantasy scores.  Check out all of the records set:  Most total points scored in a week (1,105); Most teams to score >100 points in a week (8); Highest Score in a Loss (124); Most teams to score >100 points in a loss (3); plus this week ties the record for having five different Weekly High Score Winners to start the season.  And these records weren’t just set, they smashed the previous records.  For total points, this week crushed the previous record by 71 points.  For total teams scoring >100, there had never been more than 6 in a week.  And the previous Highest Score in a loss was 118 and was a record which had stood for nearly 8 seasons!   (Prior record was set back in Week 15 of 2013 when Channel 4 News Team defeated Sofa King Good 149-118.  James just beat his own record!)  

These crazy high scores did come in week with the most fantasy points scored across the NFL since Week 2, 2020.  That week had 2,724 fantasy points scored amongst 336 players, and now this week there were 2,702 points scored amongst 332 players.  So even with fewer points, the league total points dominated!  Amazingly the lowest point total for any team this week was 95!  There have been six times historically when the high score for the week wasn’t above 95.

At the top of it all, the crème de la crème this week was sprouts who had an unbelievable 58-point Monday night to take home the Week 5 Weekly High Score Prize with 132 points!  The big Monday scorers for Russ were tight end Mark Andrews (30 pts) and RB Jonathan Taylor (28 pts).  Kyler Murray underperformed a bit this week (13 points), but all players on sprouts’ roster scored in double digits.  This was also an ‘Optimal High Score’ as there were no bench improvement points to be had.  Great job Russ!!

Alright, this week I reveal my playoff picks for 2021!!  More on that below… but first a few quick observations:

BIG TIME

• Justin Herbert, QB – Young Guns – 44 pts – Over the last three weeks, Herbert has 11 TDs with 0 Ints.  This week he got in a shootout and threw for 398 yards and 4 TDs, plus rushed for 29 yards and 1 TD.
• Lamar Jackson, QB – Vandelay Industries – 44 pts – Jackson literally had 4 points in the first half, and then proceeded to throw for his career high passing yards in the second half by itself!  All told he finished with 442 passing yards, 4 TD’s plus added 62 rushing yards and 2 2-point conversions.
• Tom Brady, QB – Sofa King American – 40 pts – Brady comes back in a big way after last week’s 10 point performance.  He torched Miami for 411 yards and 5 TD’s.  The old man currently leads all fantasy scorers with 140 points scored on the season.
• Josh Allen, QB – Scottish Rebels – 35 pts – Allen mowed down the Chiefs to the tune of 315 yards passing and 3 TD’s, plus 59 yards rushing and another TD.
• Derrick Henry, RB – Vandelay Industries – 31 pts – As the top scoring running back in fantasy, Henry is averaging 128 yards per game this season.  With a 17-game season, that has him on pace to rush for 2,176 yards!  Holy shit!  He’s also found the endzone 7 times so far, with 3 coming this week.
• Mike Williams, WR – Vandelay Industries – 31 pts – Williams made up for last week’s 1 pointer in a big way!  He went off catching 8 passes for 165 yards and 2 TD’s in the Chargers win over the Browns.
• Mark Andrews, TE – sprouts – 30 pts – Biggest game from a tight end this season!  Andrews caught an incredible 11 passes for 147 yards and 2 TD’s.  This moves him into a tie for second place amongst tight ends.

COME ON MAN

The ‘Come On Man’ section has typically been reserved for players who scored 1 or fewer points in a given week.  Injured players (like Saquon Barkley, Maxx Williams and Clyde Edwards-Helaire this week) are excluded.  Occasionally I’ll feature a player here who only scored a deuce, if it is a superstar or a keeper.  Every week there are always two or three to mention here.  However, this is the first week where there are no uninjured active players who scored less than 2 points.  Truly remarkable.

PLAYOFFS? DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!!

It’s that time once again to pull out the ol’ crystal ball, dust off the Ouija board and summon my inner Nostradamus.  Yes, it is the Annual Week 5 Playoff Predictions!!  Not to brag too much, but my picks last year were 6-for-6, so I’m dialed in Miss Cleo style!

Following the same approach as last season, these are the factors considered: Current record, Points Scored, Utilization and Schedule Difficulty.  

When it comes to points scored the most sure bet is the highest scoring team through 5 weeks which has qualified for the playoffs every single year.  The second highest scoring team has qualified 93% of the time historically.  In terms of win loss record, undefeated teams (either 5-0 or 4-0-1) have qualified 87.5% of the time and teams with only 1 loss have qualified 82.3% of the time.  Utilization has only been tracked in 2019 and 2020, but in both years the top 5 ‘Utilization’ teams all qualified for the playoffs.  

Here now are my 2021 Playoff Predictions (in no particular order):

• Joe’s Pats – The Pats are the second highest scoring team, rank 2nd in Utilization and have the 3rd easiest schedule going forward.
• sprouts – Fourth highest scoring team, rank #1 in Utilization and have the 2nd easiest schedule going forward.
• Scottish Rebels – Best record in the league, rank 5th in Utilization but have the toughest schedule going forward.
• Sofa King American – This will be an interesting one because King is currently the highest scoring team in the league, yet is tied for the worst record.  However, they do have the easiest schedule going forward and rank 3rd in Utilization, so they may just squeak in.
• Vandelay Industries – Third highest scoring team, have the 5th easiest schedule and rank 6th in Utilization.
• American BadAss – Ranked 4th in Utilization and 6th in points scored but have the 2nd hardest schedule going forward.

Alright there they are!  Now just 8 short weeks to either prove me right or wrong…

BEST BENCH

High scores flying all around this week, so it only makes sense we would have the highest Best Bench improvement of the season!  Also it should be noted, this week’s Best Bench is the fifth different team to take home the honor this season.  Without further ado, and with a super impressive 53 point improvement possibility, the Week 5 Best Bench goes to …. Young Guns!!  John needed to swap out 50% of his roster to get there – A. Brown for T Higgins (+19), Buffalo for New England (+13), C. Claypool for K. Allen (+12) and M. Davis for S. Barkley (+9).

Get those waiver claims in (lord knows there’s been a ton of injuries) and get your rosters ready for Week 6!!

Joe's Pats on Top in Week 4

Four weeks into the season and we have four different Weekly High Score Prize winners.  This is only the third time this has happened in league history, most recently in 2014.  (In 2014 we had unique winners through Week 5, which is the record.)   This week it was Joe’s Pats with a big Monday Night showing to take the Week’s High Score with 121!  Joe had big games from Jalen Hurts (30 pts), Terry McLaurin (24 pts) and the Monday Night Star, Austin Ekeler with 25 points.  The 121 point total ties Sofa King American for the 2nd highest point total this season, and with 398 total points, Joe’s Pats is the current point leader!  Well done Joe!

In other games, American BadAss thumped my hapless group of dumbasses so there are no more undefeated teams.  Three teams now sit with 3-1 records, four are at 2-2 and three are at 1-3.  Interestingly only 70 points separates the highest scoring team (Joe’s Pats) from the lowest (Big Sack No TD’s).  

Playoff predictions are coming next week, so just a quick update this week…

BIG TIME

• Tyreek Hill, WR – Sofa King American – 39 pts – Hill exploded in Week 1 for 28 points and just did it again with an unbelievable game with 186 yards receiving and 3 TD’s!  No other Chief had more than 25 yards receiving, as Hill just gobbled them all up.
• Patrick Mahomes, QB – Attack of Mahomes – 31 pts – Of course the QB tossing the ball to the high scoring receiver would also score highly!  Mahomes only had 6 incompletions on 30 attempts (1 interception), while racking up 278 yards and 5 TD’s.
• Deebo Samuel, WR – Attack of Mahomes – 30 pts – Another Week 1 standout pops up again in Week 4!  Samuel had 25 pts in Week 1, and now drops 156 yards and 2 TD’s this week.
• Jalen Hurts, QB – Joe’s Pats – 30 pts – Hurts is proving to be a consistent performer, having scored no less than 20 points any week this season and currently ranks as the 4th highest scoring QB.
• Cordarrelle Patterson, WR/RB – Big Sack No TD’s – 30 pts - Cord did his damage catching the ball, as he caught 5 balls for 84 yards and 3 TD’s to go along with 34 yards rushing.

COME ON MAN

• Myles Gaskin, RB – Christian McCaffrey’s Thigh – 0 pts – Really scraping the bottom of the barrel here… this guy had all of 2 attempts for 3 yards.
• CeeDee Lamb, WR – American BadAss – 1 pt – Just 2 catches for 13 yards as the Cowboys focused on a run-heavy approach.
• Los Angeles Rams, DEF – American BadAss – -1 pt – The Rams defense managed to record 3 sacks but gave up a whopping 37 points.  Oof.
• Brandon McManus, K – Young Guns – 1 pt – A singular extra point was the only contribution Mr. McManus was able to make.
• Mike Williams, WR – Vandelay Industries – 1 pt – After having a touchdown every week so far (even 2 last week), Williams only had 1 catch for 11 yards this time.

 S#!T IN ITS MANY FORMS

Did you know the type of animal shit denotes a specific meaning which everyone knows intuitively…

Bullshit = lies

Dogshit = poor quality

Batshit = illogical

Apeshit = frighteningly aggressive

Horseshit = unfair

Chickenshit = cowardly

Ratshit = used with a socket to loosen bolts

TOP 5’s VS DRAFT POSITION

Here is the first check-in this season on Top 5’s for each position along with their draft position.

Eight undrafted players are currently in the top 5 of their respective positions.  Wide receivers are crazy with 4 of the top five having been drafted in Round 5 or later and one being undrafted.  (Note – Patterson’s position is technically listed as WR/RB, but he’s grouped in with WR’s in my data.  Oddly enough, he’s the 4th ranked WR but would be the 3rd ranked RB.)

ALL UNWANTEDS

The Week 4 AUW’s come from the New York Giants (less Barkley & Golladay) and the Chicago Bears (less Montgomery and Robinson).

Tough showing not having a 2nd runningback who scored any points.  The league average score this week was 92.2, so this goes down as another loss, dropping their record to 1-3.

BEST BENCH

With four Weekly High Score winners on the season, it only makes sense we would have our fourth different Best Bench as well!  It was a two-man race for the honor this week, as Attack of Mahomes made a strong case with a 31-point improvement possibility.  But that wasn’t quite enough to overtake American BadAss for the Week 4 Best Bench!!  Jason needed just 3 roster moves to improve his point total by a solid 33 points:  Cleveland for LA Rams +14, D. Smith for C. Lamb +11, and J. Cook for K. Pitts +8.

Get those waiver claims in and get ready for Week 5!!